Relapse after 21 years in recovery
Welcome to SR! Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by Rob B 
First off, this is not an attack, I am sharing my experience only.
One of my ongoing concerns is the rhetoric I hear at meetings, my disease is doing pushups in the parking lot, and so on... So many people live in fear, this is not freedom, this is not the experience the promises describe.
One of my ongoing concerns is the rhetoric I hear at meetings, my disease is doing pushups in the parking lot, and so on... So many people live in fear, this is not freedom, this is not the experience the promises describe.
We deal with a disease that is cunning, baffling and powerful. My analogy of it doing pushups in the back of my mind is a reminder of that.
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Originally Posted by Freedom1990
I'd like to clarify that I don't live in fear, but I have a healthy fear of what will happen should I choose to drink again.
We deal with a disease that is cunning, baffling and powerful. My analogy of it doing pushups in the back of my mind is a reminder of that.
We deal with a disease that is cunning, baffling and powerful. My analogy of it doing pushups in the back of my mind is a reminder of that.
However, the point about armslength I actually mean LITERALLY!
What if some madness gets me to pick up a drink and down it?!?! Trust me at Christmas time I had a hard time with my family, no mobile reception, no aa people and I had to pray SO HARD that some madness would not walk me (unwillingly!) to the bar and just order a drink. It happens. A moment of madness.That's why vigilance (and I do this through contact with God, meetings, stepwork, etc) and not fear is what keeps me sober.
Hope this clarifies!
Cathy31
x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: witness protection program
Posts: 378
Originally Posted by Rob B
First off, this is not an attack, I am sharing my experience only.
One of my ongoing concerns is the rhetoric I hear at meetings, my disease is doing pushups in the parking lot, and so on... So many people live in fear, this is not freedom, this is not the experience the promises describe.
One of my ongoing concerns is the rhetoric I hear at meetings, my disease is doing pushups in the parking lot, and so on... So many people live in fear, this is not freedom, this is not the experience the promises describe.
A long time ago when I first started experimenting with opiates, I got in a lot of trouble early on, but then I *thought* I got well because I had the heat off me and was free of hard drugs for an extended period. I didn't respect that fact it was dangerous and maintain a healthy fear. I started by having a hit on my birthday, there was a bad turn of life events a couple weeks later, and the next thing I knew I had wasted 4.5 years of my life doing hard drugs. I had no idea what I was doing, I didn't care. I was utterly consumed by addiction, and it happened so fast I didn't even know it. That's scary.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
