soberscot

Hi to all,

I posted here back last year when I had been in hospital with hepatitis due to drinking. I got sober and stayed sober from mid August until the beginning of December.

I don't know what happened, I think the pressures of Christmas holidays looming and the thought of all the past times just got to me.

I went back to drinking again, not nearly as bad as before and felt I was in "control" .......

I take lithium for Bi-polar and after a recent blood test my Doc called me in. I was informed that my Liver function tests were not good (ALT 200+) after feeling my liver the Doc said I had a severely inflamed liver.

So I have been sober since 4th April. Its just so so hard. I am trying to take it a day at a time which is OK. It is when I think of never drinking ever ever again that freaks me.

repsvssweats

Hey my north of the border buddy

Christmas is an absolute nightmare for drinking. All the ‘normals’ I know love that time of year because ‘It’s an excuse to get pissed’, so for an alcoholic its terrible. Add to that the triggering feelings of nostalgia brought on by that month and it’s a double whammy.
You did very well and then had a lapse at a tough time of year but have since pulled it back. You should be pleased.
Perhaps it was a learning experience that can help you in the future?
And of course the thought of not drinking again freaks you out.
I know it does me!

barb dwyer

hi scot - I remember you!

didn't know you were sick tho - wow.

we don't any of us have 'forever'.

All any of us has ... is today.

Just .. today.

CarolD

Welcome back...

Many of us had false starts before we found solid sobriety.
Do you have a plan?
You don't have to die from drinking.

Drinking is certainly going to get you to
forever rather sooner than later.

Tazman53

Scot you may want to consider soem type of long term recovery program like AA, SMART, or the like. Drinking is merely a symptom of alcoholism, for me I found happiness and sobriety in AA.

Check out a program of recovery, they will help you.

I am not sure but I think all the programs feel that taking it one day at a time is the best path.

CarolD

repsvssweats...
Welcome!

repsvssweats

Thank you my freind.

I hope we can help our scottish pal out.

least

What I've been told, and it helps me, is to not think of never drinking again, but to just not drink today. Just don't drink for today. And one day at a time will get you thru it.:ghug3

soberscot

Thank you to all who took the time to reply. I tried AA but found myself listening to the same people telling the same story over and over again. My experience of AA was that many of the people at meetings were stuck in the past and not moving forward and talking about the here and now and how they cope TODAY.

Obviously every meeting is different and AA is a WONDERFUL organisation, I guess it may not be for me.

I have my Doc looking after my bloods to ensure my LFTs return to a more normal level and I am seeing a specialist in June to assess things. Until then I will take it one day at a time.

Thanks to you all

CarolD

Thanks for the update....

Perhaps you might look into other programs
I've always thought the approach
used by SMART interesting...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

I have not used it myself as
I was happily AA sober when it was formed.

Take good care of yourself...

RufusACanal

Thanks Scott! Maybe you are not done drinking yet. Maybe you need more convincing that Alcohol use for you, is what it really is. Maybe if you got full of booze, you might have a chance to live. Maybe if you were simply willing... Maybe your liver is simply the first event? Maybe if...

Best to you and if I can help please PM me or yell across the room!

soberscot

I don't think I need convincing that drinking is not for me, nor do I think it would be a good idea to continue.

I am not sure that I understand what you have said really ?

unigirl

HI sober- im up in sunny scot too - i think the meetings up here are fab- maybe it's the part of Scotland im in has more choice of meetings etc- or, like u say, A.A just aint 4 u. I personally, couldnt have got sober without it tho. Anyway welcome back to recovery! Keep us posted on how u doing