Paulos

Oh man I had such a horrible day out... first I went to the doctor with my hemmerhoid issue which is only a grade I one so I'm lucky there, then we go to K Mart and the car doesn't start up which made me panic, xanax made me calm down but ... I was so ocd about not being able to handle an emergency if I was alone or afraid I wouldn't be able to get home by myself even though I had my family with me. Anyway then we jump started it and it worked, then had pizza, then went home with my lovely grandfather and we made a wrong turn which shows my inability at using maps and navigation and got lost for about 3 minutes, then we got back on track and jeez... I'm only hoping this insecurity is from my alcoholism fog or I may end up never being able to take care of myself alone... any input, anyone?

PADRENLB

I know just how you feel. It's called Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome or PAWS for short. It's real, it's sort of normal and it may follow you for months. You won't see it coming either. Your not going crazy either, you see your brain is an organ, it can be measured, weighed and injured. Alcohol and drug usage damage it. Its the biological wonder computer that Bill Gates wishes he invented. Anyway the brain is use to being under the influence and feels quite odd when not, it is most certainly capable of thinking or tricking your mind into thinking ill things about yourself, its a survival technique you see. It can cause you to forget, get confused, frustrated, hear voices. Inside the head of every alcoholic, their is an addict who will lie, cheat, or steal to get what it wants. It dosn't like being sober and clean. Be mindfull the repeated behavior that turned your brain agianst you, you created, thus you can un-create by mindfull actions that are healthy. Like deleting a disc you leave the shadow of what had been deleted behind. It must be overwritten. Not de-programed, but re-programed. One reminder, make sure you check with your doctor about taking Zanax prn. It's addictive.

padre'

Dee74

Paulos - when you're taking Xanax cos the car doesn't start...you gotta bigger problems than alcoholism man.

This is life. You can't avoid it.

talk to your doctor

D

Paulos

Thank you PADREN very much for the explanation, and Dee I find your post extremely insulting, did I say I took a xanax for a car not starting? You don't know what the *** I'VE BEEN THROUGH MAN. Jeez, big mouth.

tiburon88

Xanax is a very addicting drug. It is also a very effective drug when anxiety strikes. I know my psych doctor would NEVER prescribe xanax. I would be chewing them like tic tacs. However I have been presribed norco and valium for my back issue. Until I get some physical therapy I am forced to take them. If I don't take them I cannot walk. I have abused them on 2 occassions. I nnow give the script to a trusted friend who dishes them out to me.

Tiburon

nandm

Please refrain from name calling.

Quote:

Dee I find your post extremely insulting, did I say I took a xanax for a car not starting? You don't know what the *** I'VE BEEN THROUGH MAN. Jeez, big mouth

This is a discussion board, where people post something, others reply with their opinions. These are just peoples opinions of the topic presented by the original poster. There will be opinions that the original or other posters will not like or agree with but taking things to a personal level such as name calling is uncalled for and non productive. Thanks. Just my OPINION

Dee74

Still reads like you took a xanax because the car didn't start to me. Sorry if that's not the case - I still can't read anything in the post that would make me think otherwise.

anyway, I'm done LOL.

Good luck.

I've always tried to see your point of view, I've even defended you here, more than once...and I didn't deserve a tantrum. I can't escape the conclusion ...emotionally you're a child.

And that's got nothing to do with autism or OCD or anything else.
You need to grow up and take some responsibility, Paulos.

Take that as an insult if you like - pretty sure you will - meh. whatever. The fact I'm not the only one here's who said that should be a red flag to you tho if you're serious about recovery.

Anyway - you're not listening.
I'll save my time for those who want my help in future.

D

tiburon88

Paulos, does your doctor know if you have a alcohol problem? I don't think he would prescibe xanax if he did. Xanax can sometimes have a rebound effect and cause more anxiety the next day. This has been my personal experience which my doctor confirmed. I don't know how old you are but I expect your in the 19-25 range. I have been reading your posts and can tell you do have OCD and anxiety. I would try exercising more or swing on that tire rope of yours. I know you don't like the AA idea but have you gone to even a single meeting? If you have not even tried a meeting I have no sympathy for you at all. Get off the pity pot and take some action already.
You sound like a broken record on many of your posts. People have been critical of my posts and I have to admit now they were mostly right. This forum alone will not solve any of your problems. Face to face meetings, individual counceling and group therapy will help the most. Anyways I do wish you the best of luck.

Tiburon

Texasblind

Paulos,

Remember, we have been on a very similar journey. You have to get it together. Sobriety has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Every single day I want to grab a 1.75 of vodka and drink it all and blame it all on the world. Truth is, it's me. I'm the problem. To my girlfriend, to my family, to my non-existent job.

I'm convinced alcoholism created my mental issues, not the other way around. Sobriety will solve them. AA isn't for you, fine.

One day (or minute) at a time buddy.

chip

Welcome PADRENLNB

I'm sorry you had a rough day, Paulos. It's good that you didn't drink over it. Car problems can really make a bad day worse...I can relate.

I also relate to the hemmaroid problem...I have a similar issue that causes me chronic pain.

I think everyone here is concerned about your wellbeing. I hope you are honest with your doctor about EVERYTHING. Xanax is a powerful drug. Life can be tough. Getting sober and staying sober is hard.

I remember your past posts, and that you arn't into AA. I fully respect that. I hope, however, that you will open your mind to getting more help (you probably are already doing this). Meetings help millions of people stay sober, and some of them were worse off than you or I. I urge you to keep working at it. I urge you to use whatever tools are available to stay sober. I hope you can find happiness and peace in sobriety.
chip

Tazman53

Good job Paulos!

Poor Paulos!

least

Paulos, I'm afraid I must agree with those who have posted on here that you don't seem to be listening or learning. Why get insulted and call people hateful names when they're just responding to you and trying to offer help. When you post you are asking for responses. But when the responses aren't sympathetic you blow it off and feel insulted, and insult them. I don't think that's going to get you anywhere. A lot of people here have responded to you, trying to offer advice and assistance, but you "bite the hand that's feeding you". Just my opinion but that doesn't seem to be very logical. Take it with a grain of salt and if you don't like the reply, just ignore it, don't call the person mean names. Dee made a valid point and you attacked her/him. Not a very gracious response on your part.

Just my opinion...

GlassPrisoner

Actually, Paulos, we do. We've all been there done that.

I doubt there's anything that you've done, seen, felt or experienced that any number of us haven't.

reed

Did the Xanax start your car for you?

Try a couple deep breaths, walk a way from it for a minute, puff on a cigarette.

You are right, Paulos. You do need to get a grip, man. What are you gonna do when your family is not around?

Mental Hospitals? Institutions?

Stop taking drugs.

nandm

I realize that my opinoin might be a minority opinion here but I feel I need to voice it. Concerning doctor prescribed medications taken as prescribed one should always consult their doctor prior to stopping any of those medications. If the xanax is prescribed, which I would hope it is otherwise one would have to purchase it illegally, then there is no reason not to use the medication as prescribed.

Anxiety is very real for many people in this world. I did not realize how real it is for many years. I took the same attitude of "just get a grip," "breathe," "don't think about it," "get over it," and so many other things. Even working as a paramedic for 12 years and as a nurse for 20 I believed that anxiety was something that was not real and that the person just wanted attention. It took my developing PTSD, which anxiety is a part of, before I found out that anxiety is not just a get over it thing. It is very real. It can be devastating. I have not been able to return to work in nearly 2 years because of the anxiety related to the PTSD. There have been times when leaving my own home was nearly impossible. I had always considered myself a strong person and never would have dreamed anxiety is as real and devastating as it is.

I never would have believed I would have a prescription for an anxiety medication but I do. I even take it as prescribed, and yes, sometimes something as simple as the car not starting in a crowded parking lot can trigger the anxiety. I have learned that if I am going to be in any place that is crowded I need to be sure I bring my medication as I never know when something will trigger the attack. It is embarrassing, many people misunderstand it and don't believe it is real, I hate that I have it and would give most anything not to have to deal with it. That is why I make sure I take the med as prescribed, see my therapist to deal with the PTSD and keep in touch with my doctor about changes or concerns regarding my medications. I do work the program of AA and believe that has helped immensely with many aspects of my mental health but even the Big Book says to seek outside help when necessary as they do not have a monopoloy on treating medical conditions. I do not feel that my being treated by the doctor and taking an anxiety medication affects my sobriety. It would if I were not sticking to the prescribed amounts or taking is when it is not indicated.

My whole point is please don't tell someone to stop taking a prescribed medication, this should only be done by a qualified person such as the individuals doctor.

Done_With_It

I agree. Telling Paulos or ANYONE to not take their prescribed medication is not our job.
Telling them to smoke instead? Hmmmm

Their was a time in my life when I needed meds to stop panic attacks.
Not knowing I needed them, the panic I felt drove me to almost jumping off our building.

I have now learned how to control my ptsd, panic attacks, without meds almost always. But until you experience an attack where you are not sure if you are going to die, you have no idea how it can feel.

I can't measure the fear/anxiety that Paulos faced because it was not mine to measure.

Paulos I'm glad you didn't drink. Keep going forward. I see you making progress.

And that is My opinion. FWIW



8

CarolD

Let's all remember we SR members do not give medical advice.
Thank you.

CarolD

PADRENLB ....Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum.

unigirl

Yeh nandm you are right- ppl shouldnt tell paulos not to take his med or whatever - but lets face it- Paulos doesnt listen to anyone anyway. But i guess it is wise to be responsible as others reading this may be in a similar position as paulos with an anxiety etc (i have anxiety- though i dont take any med 4 it, not because i disagree with it - i realise some people do NEED it as their anxiety may be acute, but for me i choose other ways to address it) and think it's ok to just stop med atc when it really isnt- a doc is the only person who should direct u in that case i reckon.