I need help
 

...and this is the first time I've really admited it. I went 4 days without drinking, then blew it over the weekend.

I'll be spending some time browsing the boards more this evening, as I must find a way to stop this insanity.

Welcome John
and yes ME TOO!

Good to see members back seeking answers!
:hug:

Have you had an honest talk about your drinking
with your doctor? De toxing from alcohol is a
medical issue and can be dangerous.

Been going to any recovery program?
I find AA immensley helful ...and there are others.

Keep in focus...Yes! you too can recover.
:)

This place is great, but only as a supplement to my recovery. Action is what it takes for me. Helping others "Out There" and working The Steps.

congrats on the 4 days john.....those are still sober days even if the next couple weren't.
hope you find something here that clicks for you in some way. check out the blogs too--i've found a lot of info there too.

Glad your back John, and don't give up, sobriety takes practice!

:SteprobL:

I had many slips....and hell I am only one week in now! You can do it!

today is day 7 for me and I'm feeling pretty good, but my weekend was tough. It has taken me many a blown weekend to be able to get through one like this past one. Friday night dart night at my house with neighbors (wine and beer night) and Saturday afternoon bbq with some friends and their kids for the day (beer and booze). I've come to terms with the fact that I am going to be exposed to it and that is a fact of life... how I react to that exposure is up to me and me alone. I had a good time without drinking... don't ever forget that it is possible to do that. I didn't believe it for years but it is so true.

Hang in there John. Learn something from every faulter and it's easier not to faulter the next time.

I have relapsed 789 times. :( At least I keep trying.


Tiburon

Tib are you sure about that figure? LOL I lost count of the number of times I relapsed using the "My Way" program!!! LOL

Every day sober is a sober day, as long as one keeps trying and is willing to try new things to stay sober, they will eventually find a way to stay sober.

Trying to stay sober the same way over and over again proves rather fruitless, as I mentioned I tried the "My Way" program for 10 years and never stayed sober, I just got worse. I was able to get and stay sober once I quit the "My Way" program and tried another way.

Thanks everyone. Having to "start over" the count was disappointing, yesterday was really tough (not so much tough not to drink b/c I felt like shi*, but tough mentally).

I had a talk with my wife... said "Look, this is not the first time I've said it's time to stop... so that's a pretty good indication...." She is having a hard time grasping the idea of me NEVER drinking again.

Why not just not drink today? It is a whole lot easier to not drink today then to never drink again.

Taz is right about that, for both yourself and your other half. My wife could not grasp it either... I'd be clean for a day or two and she'd crack two beers open, hand me one and say, "just don't drink a lot.". She just didn't get it... she got tired of hearing how I was going to quit again and then 3 days later I was drinking again... my words started to mean nothing to her and that made them less valid for me.

Now, I don't really discuss it in detail with her. It took me really beating myself up and many explanations of my inner unhappiness and a long time for her to get it, but now I get support. Go one day at a time and she'll see a happier you in the long run.. give yourself a chance and do what you need to do for you, not for her. Her expectations can't always be yours.

Rimmy / Taz... thanks. Excellent points. I think last night at some point I told her "I think that's what the one day at a time stuff is all about.... "

...and then I said that I didn't think my liver deserved to be abused any more, even if I WERE capable of drinking in moderation - and I am not really capable of drinking in moderation.

John I will share with you what the doctor told me was the cure for my fatty liver, 4 very simple words. TOTAL ABSTINANCE FROM ALCOHOL! Half measure avail ones liver nothing!

Thanks, Taz. I know, you're right. I'm getting back on my multi-vitamins and Milk thistle supps. tomorrow (would have been rough still on the system today) and I'm going to make it through this upcoming weekend - and hopefully many many more to come

No kidding there. I went to my first A.A. meeting and it was Birthday Night. I heard stories of 1-2-5-25 years. Seeing this as a virtual impossibility I returned to drinking immediatley.
Just for today. Tomorrow? I'll concern myself with that when it gets here.

steamvessel....:)
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum

Just wanted to check in. Day 3 today since the Sunday incident. Last night was surprisingly easy... Didn't even have to use Xanax to get to sleep! -knock on wood-

The dreams.. Holy cow... the dreams. I suppose your mind wants to rewind and catch up on all the dreaming you missed while drunk?!?!??? I'm having dreams about my life 5-6 years ago. Very odd, but I can't complain about trading strange dreams for waking up sober. Thanks again to you all.