Is being embarassed about having a problem with alcohol?
 

Is it just me or does anyone else feel embarassed that they are unable to handle alcohol? I feel like I'm a weak person and that I'm looked down upon....

Any thoughts and opinions are GREATLY appreciated...:codiepolice

I feel like I am looked down upon when I get drunk cause that's when I am really out of control...

It fascinates me that some people are more ashamed of being sober than they are of being drunk.

There is a world of of misunderstanding regarding alcoholism in our society.
If you are like me, your alcoholism has nothing to do with being weak or strong, you have lost the choice, without a solution you will drink.

I was looked down upon when I drank, I brought this on myself by the way I behaved. What people think about me today doesn't bother me like it used to.

I used to feel that way...but I now realize that I suffer from a disease--called Alcoholism. I have to surrender daily, turn my will over to Something bigger than myself--because I couldn't stop drinking on my own. I would make promises to stop drinking altogether (and really mean it)...only to start drinking once again. This website has helped me alot along with another 12 step fellowship. You are not a weak person--just a sick person who (hopefully) is trying to get well. You didn't get to where you are right now in one day, so remember that it will probably take some time to get better--if you are like I was when I first started my recovery process. Keep reaching out. There are plenty of wonderful people here who can help. :grouphug:

It fascinates me that some people are more ashamed of being sober than they are of being drunk.

Wow Rob, that's a great point thank you. I'm fighting acceptance right now. I've accepted there is a problem and I'm starting treatment. I was never the "classic" alcoholic that the media portrays most of the time so it's been a long road towards acceptance. The scary thing is is that it only progressed.

I am part of a very "sceney" circle of people in downtown Chicago. I am scared what people will think of me. This makes me feel like such a crazy person and damaged....

I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself before I realized that I actually have a disease. So yes, I definitely understand where you are coming from!

Because you have an understanding of what alcohol can do, you may see yourself as damaged. I don't see myself that way any more then me having freckles would say I am damaged. Different then a few others is not damaged...it is different. I am the same as many others as well.

I was accepting of who I am early on and when I would go to a party and not drink...I found that others were the ones with sour feelings when I would say I don't drink any more.

I would hear things such as...
I am thinking of slowing down also.
Yah, maybe I should quit as well.
I know what your talking about, I have an uncle that is in AA.

Not once that I can remember has anyone ever said anything negative about me saying I don't drink.

Best,

Thank you too for your response. Yes, I am still embarassed but I'll work through that. It's funny that you make that point because a lot of times, I do hear people say.... yeah, i wish i could stop or i've said that a million times i hope i do it or i dream of a world without alcohol.

The thought of lying in bed over the weekend with a killer hangover makes me want to scream....But the thought of not having alcohol for the rest of my life makes me scream. I think that's the addict in me thinking that and I hope the further along I get the easier and the more i will understand this all.

It bothered me when I was newly sober and still coming to grips with it. Now at 3.5 yrs sober I have been told by several people that they have never met someone who can be so open about it. I don't shout it from the rooftops but I do acknowledge it, I accept it and I try to educate about it when possible.

If you are just in the very early stages, which it sounds like you are, don't worry about it. I'd say it's normal. You just try to focus on getting and staying sober and don't worry about what anyone else thinks about it besides you. There are numerous ways to decline a drink without screaming I'm an alcoholic. When you get ready we can help you out with that but I'd be so bold as to say you might want to put a serious curtail on the socializing until you get yourself dried out and some recovery tools under your belt.

Anyways, that's probably way more than you were asking but I do hope you will find it helpful. I will say one more thing. I was not your classic vision of an alcoholic either. I went from hardly ever having a drink to black-out, physically addicted, couldn't go more than a couple of hours without a drink or I'd shake to death in 3.5 years start to finish. Getting sober was the hardest thing I have EVER done and going through the withdrawals and stuff is something I hope to never have to do again and I have nothing but the greatest compassion and hope for those who can face those fears and go through it. I promise you life is SO much better on the other side.

Hang in there and hang on to us, you're in for the ride of your life!

Hugs,
Kellye

Not embarrassed at all! It's beyond my control so therefore I need not be embarrassed.
There was a time when I wouldn't let go and thought I could handle it. There were a lot of embarrassing moments then. Not now!
I did a lot of damage in the past. There were a lot of things I wasn't proud of. All Alcohol related. Part of the amends process to society is my ability to control whether it will happen again or not.
To the contrary, I feel pretty good about myself.

It was my self-will that failed to keep me sober. It was the same self-will that made me feel embarrased to have well, a weak self-will. And it was yet the same self-well that fed my alcoholism and kept me drinking.

Eventually I saw the common denominator, my self-will.

In order for me to stay sober, I had to change my approach to getting sober. AA showed me how to do it. I stopped relying on self-will, and instead did my best to follow the will through my Higher Power.

AA can show you the path to being sober and happy. It is you that has the choice if you choose to walk it. Good hiking!


Tom

It takes more strength and fortitude to admit a fault than to hide it. Most people I have told show me more respect for working to better myself than laughing behind my back. If anyone is laughing, they can have their giggle... I don't care.

Embarassed of being sober? For me I was not embarassed of being sober, I was scared of being sober!!!

I drank so long that I did not know how to function sober, it scared me to get sober because everything I did involved drinking. What was I going to do sober?

Well it turns out that I am able to do everything I did while drinking sober, and I do it better sober then I did when I was drinking!! A really neat thing is now I remember everything I do sober and the memories are a whole lot better because none of those memories involve me falling down, or people looking at me like I was some kind of damn fool slurring my words, talking loud and making an ass out of myself!

The neatest thing is I can do ANYTHING I want to do sober! There are a lot of things one can not do when drinking.

I find passing out while friends and family are over a lot more embarassing then carrying on a sensible conversation with friends and family. I know my children find me far less embarrassing when thier friends come over sober then they did when I was drunk.

I found it embarassing waking up with a complete stranger in bed with me in a place that I had never been before. I have never done that sober.

I found it embarassing having handcuffs put on for a DUI, I have not had that happen while sober.

I have yet to be embarassed about being sober, I have been embarassed about being drunk!

I was emberassed of getting/being sober when I equated it with some sort of mental weakness.

When I found out the truth (I have alcoholism), those feelings disappeared - immediately.

For me to admit to myself I was an alcoholic was a kind of release. It was liberating, I do not care who knows it...as long as I am not drunk.
I suppose it does make me different from 'normal drinkers', but I am not embarrassed about it.

What is embarrassing is being drunk and out of control, not being able to drink socially/normally isnt embarrassing.

I used to be embarrassed that I can't control myself. And of course, embarrassed about things I did when drunk. I'm not embarrassed about it at all anymore, it just is what it is. I'm a better person without alcohol.

I've never been embarrassed about being sober.