It's taken me three years to admit . . .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East Bay, California
Posts: 22
It's taken me three years to admit . . .
You know, I just wanted to thank you all. It's taken me three years to admit that I have an alcohol problem. I have no horror stories, no DUIs, and drink a bit more than one bottle of red wine a day, keeping a career during the day. But, I've come to realize that my whole day is planned around when I get at the bottle. I'll shift appointments around for when I know I'll be drinking. ****, I even consider when I'm going to get my "drink on" when I plan a couple of days visiting friends.
I can go to a party and just have one beer. No problem. The thought of one day without alcohol, however, is dreaded, and certainly I'm always most confident when I have easy access to alcohol.
Alcohol, unfortunately, is the highpoint of my day. I'm realizing now that it has a command over me and that I must stop it before I start to waste life away.
Your stories have truly been inspiring!!!!!! So please understand that even as you struggle with your own demons, you are helping others by your candor.
I can go to a party and just have one beer. No problem. The thought of one day without alcohol, however, is dreaded, and certainly I'm always most confident when I have easy access to alcohol.
Alcohol, unfortunately, is the highpoint of my day. I'm realizing now that it has a command over me and that I must stop it before I start to waste life away.
Your stories have truly been inspiring!!!!!! So please understand that even as you struggle with your own demons, you are helping others by your candor.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East Bay, California
Posts: 22
BTW, I just wish I could share this forum with others who are going down the drain like I am. I wish alcohol were not so accepted in our society. As I once heard, "alcohol destroys more families than all the other drugs put together." But I guess the alcohol lobby in Congress would put the kabash on that. F*cking money . . .
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I've always been told by my sponsor to share my struggles and triumphs with others, because you never know who you might reach with them.
I'm glad you have found inspiration to start doing things differently
I'm glad you have found inspiration to start doing things differently
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
What happens when you drink ?
If you're like me, you drink until it's gone or you pass out. (Or both).
It's not what I drink, when, or how much, or even what happens when I'm drunk. It's what it does to me. My utter inability to control and enjoy my drinking. If I control it, I don't enjoy it. If I enjoy it, I'm not controlling it.
And yeah, when I wasn't drinking, I was thinking about my next drink.
If you're like me, you drink until it's gone or you pass out. (Or both).
It's not what I drink, when, or how much, or even what happens when I'm drunk. It's what it does to me. My utter inability to control and enjoy my drinking. If I control it, I don't enjoy it. If I enjoy it, I'm not controlling it.
And yeah, when I wasn't drinking, I was thinking about my next drink.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Faulkner, I drank for at least 10 more years after I realized I had a problem, are you ready to take the actions needed to get and stay sober?
Once I hit the point where I was will to do what ever it took to get and stay sober I found a solution.
Are you at that point? If you are there is a solution, but it takes action, far more action then simply putting the bottle down.
Once I hit the point where I was will to do what ever it took to get and stay sober I found a solution.
Are you at that point? If you are there is a solution, but it takes action, far more action then simply putting the bottle down.
Lurker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Western NC
Posts: 783
Welcome!! Your story sounds almost exactly like mine, but I lived with it for years. This disease is a progressive one, and is always getting worse. I continued to drink until the functional part of my alcoholism had dropped off. I am glad that you have admitted the problem before you have gone to far.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 521
It took me 18 years after I first answered the 20 questions to admit I had a problem.
The 20 questions told me I was an alcoholic.....but I just didnt believe it. I hadn't lost a job (yet), no DUI's, didnt lose a family. In fact, lots of people didnt even know I had a problem with alcohol and drugs. The 4 walls of my bedroom sure knew I had an issue! I did alot of my drinking and using in private....the rest of my energy was spent creating a false life that looked really good to anyone who didnt know.
Today, Im happy to be living an HONEST sober life.
The 20 questions told me I was an alcoholic.....but I just didnt believe it. I hadn't lost a job (yet), no DUI's, didnt lose a family. In fact, lots of people didnt even know I had a problem with alcohol and drugs. The 4 walls of my bedroom sure knew I had an issue! I did alot of my drinking and using in private....the rest of my energy was spent creating a false life that looked really good to anyone who didnt know.
Today, Im happy to be living an HONEST sober life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East Bay, California
Posts: 22
Yepper, that's me! I drink in private. Nobody knows I have a problem. I appear to be in complete control when I'm with other people, generally even drinking less than others. The problem (I've come to admit) is that I'm always thinking about getting toasted when I get home.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by faulkner 
You know, I just wanted to thank you all. It's taken me three years to admit that I have an alcohol problem.
How come your sentences aren't longer?
Seriously, if it only took you three years you're a quick study.
WELCOME
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East Bay, California
Posts: 22
Tks!!!! Fortunately, I've always been open to learning from my elders. Fact is, I guess I'm one of those young'ns who focuses on the fact that I can control my alcohol a little bit as evidence that I'm not an alcoholic. Fortunately, I'm not so stupid now. Even under control, if alcohol is always my bottom line, I'm in trouble. And its better to drop it now than to go down the paths that others have instructed me not to on this forum.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 30
faulkner, I was mostly a private drinker too. But lots of people knew I had a problem. Before I stopped drinking, I used to obsess about alcohol too. How many days can I drink, how late can I drink, do I have enough alcohol, etc. It tokk so much effort and wasted time!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Originally Posted by faulkner
Yepper, that's me! I drink in private. Nobody knows I have a problem. I appear to be in complete control when I'm with other people, generally even drinking less than others. The problem (I've come to admit) is that I'm always thinking about getting toasted when I get home.
Alcoholism is an inside job, man... so, do you have a plan for recovery?
Keep us posted and let us know if you need anything...
ken
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