Hello
 

Hi my name is Mike, and I'm starting to think I'm an alcoholic. I can't control myself when I'm drunk, I desperately search for alcohol until I am a complete mess.


The thing is, as long as I'm not drunk I don't feel any physical need to drink. I drink about twice a week almost to the point of alcohol poisoning. It's a real problem. I don't know why I drink. Maybe because I'm subconsciously trying to kill myself. Or because I'm depressed and I feel happy when I drink. It's a false happiness though, because I sink into a brutal depression then next day.

The long and short of it is I don't want to drink anymore. I'm only coming to this website because my friends all drink and don't think I should quit, but I know they're wrong.


So does anyone have nay advice on how to stop drinking?

you may lose some friends while looking for and doing activities while you are sober instead. the real friends will stay with you throught this.

its a better life, every drunk knows that deep down inside. Even when having no friends and being completely alone. It really is better. And can always build from it anew.

It's hard because I am in university. Everyone wants to drink and I don't want to lose any friends. They can all control themselves while drunk, I don't know why I can't.

Welcome to SR Mike,

Wow, you sound very much like me when I was in university. I knew it was a problem, but I kept drinking. My alcoholism progressed to the point where it threatened everything that is good in my life. If you want advice, here's mine: check out AA. The only requirement to go to AA is to have a desire to quit.

I agree with serenityqueen about your "friends". Seeing you struggle might make them feel better about themselves. If your drinking is hurting you, and they tell you that you shouldn't quit...are they really your friends?
chip

I don't know why i can't control myself drinking either mike. but i can't.

Just hoping you see it as a fact for yourself too that thats just how it is for you.

if all your friends are drinkers and you care to keep them, they will need a sober driver at some point. My childhood doctor never drank in his life but was in a very heavy drinking fraternity. He handled it that way, rather than losing his friends.

It's true that when I was a drinker
so were all my friends.
Now that I am sober..I perfer sober friends.

Why? because we share the same healthy lifestyle.
We work towards the same goals and help others.

Yes...I did find them in AA meetings.
Yes...we do all sorts of interesting things .
Yes..we have a blast without alcohol.

Depression is why I began AA.
Welcome to SR Mike!
:wave:

It's been a problem for about 3 years, and it's gotten way worse this year. The rest of my family haven't had any trouble with it as far as I know.

I'm going to check out AA in my area. I hope I'll have time to go down there.

welcome mike
 

This can be a relatively simple thing mike...sounds like you may be ready.

here it is...the secret...the whole simple truth.

take a deep breath.

Dont Drink today...find that meeting and MAKE the time to go and walk in TODAY !

If you dont want to talk...fine...just listen.

Im not exaggerating here when I say this...you are on the brink of something more wonderful than you can imagine right now...truly...happiness , self pride , real calm and accomplishment...respect from those around you... health and physical well being...something that makes you shine with goodness and light...something that makes you TRULY attractive and special... you can have it all...its this incredible gift that is waiting for you at that 1rst meeting.

I would almost dare you to go to that meeting and try to come back here and say " well that sucked ...i feel terrible " that just wont happen...i could almost guarantee it !

Here is the last thing I want to say in this post... you are so LUCKY to have found this program this early in life...some of us had to wait a while and get beat up pretty bad by it before we sought help.

Im so happy for you and PROUD of you... now go for it ! and watch your life transform... no BULL S%^T !

Miavin2

:ghug3

disclaimer: I am an active AA member.

That being said, AA defines alcoholism very simply 1>Have you ever experienced the inability to control the amount you drink once you start (from your post, this sounds like it is the case) 2> Having wanted or needed to stop - have you been unable to stay stopped?

If this is the case, you are probably alcoholic.

A lot of my very close friends still drink and they did not abandon me when I got sober, they encouraged it. Today, doing what is required of me in AA to get and stay sober - I can hang out with them do most of the activities that we have always done, and the thought of having a drink never comes to mind.

Amazing but true.

I have tried to quit before and went back to it. I guess I exaggerated what my friends' thought about my drinking. What they really believe is that I don't have a problem. But that definition of an alcoholic fits me perfectly.


I found a meeting on sunday, and I'm going to it.

Welcome Michael.
You have found a good place for support if it is recovery you seek. Like my friend Suger, I too am an active AA member, keep posting with questions, I would like to offer you support. Personally, the best thing that has ever happened to me was a direct result of going to AA and working the 12 steps. Glad you are going to a meeting to check it out.

Hey Michael
Your story sounds a lot like mine - I used to drink 1 - 3 times a week (this is progressive though and it got worse!!!) to blackout never in the day etc etc so thought I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic...well, I was and I am! This website helped me to find AA, acknowledge I was an alcoholic and find recovery. I'm now sober and happier than ever.
Life's not perfect, but I'm sober and I can't tell you awesome that is.
I do hope you go on Sunday!! I KNOW you won't regret it!!
Let us know!! :cheer
Cathy31
x

Welcome to SR Michael, do some reading on alcoholism, here is a test to take Alcoholics Anonymous : one of the first things we must convince our selfs of before we can stay stopped drinking is that we are alcoholics.

I am an alcoholic, I was told this many times by other people and I still drank, it was not until I was able to admit it to myself that I was able to begin to walk the path to long term sobriety.

You say you are in school and every body drinks? I used to think the same thing, once I got sober my eyes opened up and in looking around me through sober eyes I found that there are a lot of people who never drink, quit a few people that drink one or 2 or go home, and then the people I used to hang around with that drank just like me!!!

I can assure you that there is at least one AA meeting a week right on your campus, call your local AA hotline and ask them.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, the longer an alcoholic drinks the worse it gets, it never gets better, an alcoholic can quit drinking for 10 years and if they start drinking again with in a week they will be right back where they left off at 10 years before, sometimes a lot worse.

AA saved my life, but AA is not the only program on the block, try them all if AA does not do it for you. I will tell you this, no program will work unless you work the program, all of it, not just the parts you like.

Hi Michael, welcome to SR.

I'm the same - once I take a drink, I don't want to stop. At a push, I suppose I can, but it will soon get to the out of control stage again. If I didn't want to appear 'alcoholic' while out with friends, I would just have one drink, saying I was driving. Then I'd get home and finish off there. When I was in my thirties my pattern was about 2 x a week. The other days was getting over it. I didn't particularly want a drink then, but after 2 or three days I'd feel better and do it again. I gave up (again) at the beginning of January this year. It seems that I can only give up for any length of time with the help of AA. If I stop going, I eventually drink. Thats just me. Since rejoining AA I have restarted the 12 step program. I was determined not to go back but with the encouragement of SR members (and their good example!) I forced myself to go back.I am SO glad I did. I am enjoying it and have had no desire for a drink or cravings so far.

Wow that test really scared me. It said if you answer 4 out of 12 "yes", you have a problem. Well I answered yes to 10.

Just scary.

sounds like conditions are right for you to stop drinking now, and that you are willing to go to new lengths to achieve sobriety. I'm really happy for you. Life gets better and better without the ball and chain of booze.

Welcome. A couple things come to mind in reading this thread.

A month before I was arrested for assaulting a police officer in a blackout, I remember my best friend saying, "you're not an alcoholic, you're just a drunk."

I was tripped up a bit by the whole definition of being an alcoholic. I could control my drinking, in the sense that I didn't always drink to the point of blacking out or passing out. There were times when I said, "I've had enough."

There was a story in the Big Book that helped me understand my own experience. In it a woman says about herself, "when I enjoyed my drinking, I couldn't control it, and when I controlled my drinking, I couldn't enjoy it." That certainly rang true for me.