Paulos

Day 2 all, went for a drive around the community I live in, around a Golf Park... I was spaced/confused most of the time... only thing I remember is Chestnut Hill Drive... it's a shame I don't learn things or focus more... saw the old house I used to live in when I first moved up to my residence... sniff, brought back some memories and kind of was saddening... sniff... saw an Easter Party going on at a public building or something... jeez ... I'm a mess...

adore79

:ghug3

reed

Time? Where does it go?

SF69

Hang in there Paulos.

Sobriety is like a video a game in reverse. The hardest levels are at the beginning. But for both, it may take a lot of attempts to beat each 'level'.

Rob B

Paulos,
I may come across as hard on you. However, this time I want to give you a pat on the back. You moved your feet and took action. You got off your butt, and did something you probably did not want to do. Early sobriety for me was a lot like that.

Keep pushing your comfort zone. Focus on what was positive about this experience. Your mind tends to go to the negative, watch this, notice it, say "thanks for sharing" when you see this thought and then let it go. You are not your mind, you are so much more. Keep moving and you will find out who you really are.

kelsh

Hi Paulos,

That was a good step...taking a drive out and around your city. When first getting sober it is so hard to use up your time when not at work or with a family.

My brother just called me this last Wednesday...I hadn't heard from him in almost three years....he didn't have a phone & he didn't answer my letters.

He lives across the state from me but is now at a friends about an hour and a half away from me....but I don't have the right phone number to call him back. He got it mixed up when he gave it to me and my calller ID recorded it as no name no number.

I hope he calls soon...I don't know the last name of his friend so cannot look it up and imagine it is not listed.

He is detoxing from Methametaphine & alcohol...just had a ticket for driving while suspended & under the influence of drugs &/or alcohol. $1300 worth & he didn't show up for court. Now they have a warrant for him...when he gets done detoxing he plans to turn himself in...he is 66 years old and I had no idea he was into drugs heavy...just thought it was his alcoholism keeping him from contacting me.

Our Dad died in 2000 & he has been messed up since then...has been living in the family home we own together and it is due to go into foreclosure this year because of back property taxes....he was supposed to keep them up to live in the house and not sell it yet.

I paid the taxes three years in a row & have stopped doing it...he was forced to put the house up for sale but put the price way too high above the assessed amount of the house & property.

Anyway I hope you continue on with taking One Day at a Time....with baby steps forward so you don't miss anything important that needs to be done to help you stay sober. The fact that you are trying is good...just think about not drinking one day at a time not forever.... :ghug

kelsh

Paulos

wasn't easy though for me I gotta be honest, also I got a question, has anyone ever had mixed hormones/feelings like... you could be LAUGHING at something hysterical, then be crying at something bad in your life?

reed

Sometimes when I was drinking heavily I would get bursts of energy or happiness lasting about 30 seconds, Paulos. This would happen when I was alone & pacing my apartment. I was depressed and lonely besides these bursts, plus I had nothin to distract my attention like T.V. or reading. Could just blame those on boredom and too much time in my head though. Sure does seem like you are on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Keep it up with the strongness.

barb dwyer

you got out of the house !!!

I've been reading your stuff for a long time now -
what - off and on a year or something?
how long you been coming here now????
thats the FIRST TIME
I've EVER read you talk about getting out of the house.

stop
read that again

wooHOO!!!

it could be worse -

you could have been PLAYING golf, man.

that would ...suck.
golf looks like .. .it sucks.
I think secretyly .. it does.
I think ... nobody wants to admit that it does.
becuse they've already blown all that money
on those goofie clothes
and memberships
and lessons
little grippie shoes
and pullie bags
and sticks to play it.
so they have to make it
look fun.

but if you look at 'em...
none are smiling.

*THAT oughta stir the hornets a bit*

and yes -
it's called ...'can't cry for laughing.'

old southern thing.

common side effect from not being sedated.
it's going to balance out.
it'll swing back and forth like water does,
when you shake up the glass,
but it'll calm down.
just like water always does, dood.

*holy craP*
way to freaking GOOOOOO!!!!!!
got OUT of the house!!!!!!!!!
hot dam!!!!!

Paulos on the LOOOOse!

Dee74

Barb's right. Golf blows. LOL

way to go Paulos!
D

nolonger

Good for you, Paulos!

mad1nola

awesome, Paulos!

Keep it up. I am so proud of you. I knew you could do it.

msh58

don't know if i could have handled a field trip through the past like that. I don't do the memories trail very well.

hope things just keep getting better for you

Texasblind

Great job Paulos.

I was sober, but still sitting around the house. As soon as I took people's advice to get out and get physical, my cravings started getting much easier to manage. And I've lost 4 pounds. Not much towards the 70 overall I need to lose, but it's a start.

unigirl

way to go paulos! action is key to my recovery - keeps me busy which in turn makes for no time to indulge in sef pity and the like. I'm glad you're trying new things - keep it up and keep strong