32 days & struggling a bit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 14
32 days & struggling a bit
Hi, gang.
I'm back from a 14 day rehab (which was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, thank you very much). Tried to get them to let me stay longer, but my counselor was convinced that I was ready to leave.
So now I'm back in the real world, and hit the ground running; am working overtime (out of necessity), attending intensive outpatient groups three nites a week for three hours each, and going to AA and Al-Anon meetings. For someone who requires a certain amount of "down time" (I am NOT a "type A" personality), this schedule alone a little overwhelming, but on the other hand I'm glad to be busy.
This is actually the third time I've done thirty days... the first time was in AA and I was sober for 7 years, then got sober in AA again for 5 years. This time feels different, though. My drinking for 9 months was different...very heavy right from the get-go... and this sobriety is different. I don't remember having the kinds of cravings before that I'm having now (doesn't mean I didn't have cravings... just don't remember them).
I've been pretty bitchy and crabby,
and my mind is just inconsistent and wacky. I have NO attention span, and go through periods of dizziness and an uncomfortable kind of detachment. Been reading a bit about PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) that says that some of these symptoms can last for 6-18 months... so apparently it really does get better, it's just rough going at the moment.
Any words of encouragement would be Very Much Appreciated.
You all ROCK!
I'm back from a 14 day rehab (which was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, thank you very much). Tried to get them to let me stay longer, but my counselor was convinced that I was ready to leave.
So now I'm back in the real world, and hit the ground running; am working overtime (out of necessity), attending intensive outpatient groups three nites a week for three hours each, and going to AA and Al-Anon meetings. For someone who requires a certain amount of "down time" (I am NOT a "type A" personality), this schedule alone a little overwhelming, but on the other hand I'm glad to be busy.
This is actually the third time I've done thirty days... the first time was in AA and I was sober for 7 years, then got sober in AA again for 5 years. This time feels different, though. My drinking for 9 months was different...very heavy right from the get-go... and this sobriety is different. I don't remember having the kinds of cravings before that I'm having now (doesn't mean I didn't have cravings... just don't remember them).
I've been pretty bitchy and crabby,
and my mind is just inconsistent and wacky. I have NO attention span, and go through periods of dizziness and an uncomfortable kind of detachment. Been reading a bit about PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) that says that some of these symptoms can last for 6-18 months... so apparently it really does get better, it's just rough going at the moment.
Any words of encouragement would be Very Much Appreciated.
You all ROCK!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Portland, or
Posts: 47
I am pretty new here so my advice is limited. However, I want to congratulate you for completing your 14 days in rehab I am sure it wasn't easy. I am only at day 5 but I recognize the lack of attention span, dizziness and the detachment I believe it is part of the withdrawal process. I am concentrating on the fact that I am sober and being sober is a WHOLE lot better than being drunk or hungover! Be gentle with yourself eat well and regularly, drink lots of water, go for walks but most importantly treat yourself with TLC.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Great job!
I think everyone's recovery is different for so many reasons. The one constant seems to be that it gets better. I'm at 5 weeks. Doing very well.
I love reading about people who are at our stage. For most it seems to be a real landmark. Regardless of the cravings (I really don't have many) I think our heads are ready to do some real work. We have the footings laid and now is the time to do some serious brickwork.
Best to you. Hope to see you here more often.
warrens
I think everyone's recovery is different for so many reasons. The one constant seems to be that it gets better. I'm at 5 weeks. Doing very well.
I love reading about people who are at our stage. For most it seems to be a real landmark. Regardless of the cravings (I really don't have many) I think our heads are ready to do some real work. We have the footings laid and now is the time to do some serious brickwork.
Best to you. Hope to see you here more often.
warrens
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Juju
You are doing great, keep doing what you doing, the busy-ness is good as are the meetings. Getting a sponsor and starting the steps although it might seem like ANOTHER thing to do on your list, is what really set me free. Also SR - keep posting, reading and sharing, you're doing really well, you've been blessed with LOTS of recovery and clean time and you've clearly done the legwork in the past - you can do it! Well done!
Cathy31
x
You are doing great, keep doing what you doing, the busy-ness is good as are the meetings. Getting a sponsor and starting the steps although it might seem like ANOTHER thing to do on your list, is what really set me free. Also SR - keep posting, reading and sharing, you're doing really well, you've been blessed with LOTS of recovery and clean time and you've clearly done the legwork in the past - you can do it! Well done!
Cathy31
x
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
I am at 6.5 months...first time around here...also went to rehab. I felt like a space alien for the first two months. By three months, I was having "crazies" every three days, with glimpses of hope in between. By about 4-5 months the crazies were once a week but still very strong when they happened. At 6 months, no more crazies. Sometimes a bit moody but nothing too bad. Also, I have not exercised very much, so that probably would have helped me. Now I just notice I get tired in the middle of the day and take lots of naps. (Just got up from one.)
This morning I woke up with that "Christmas morning" feeling, even though all I am doing today is going to a meeting, laundry, meeting friends for dinner, and then another meeting. It's nice to feel at peace sometimes.
This morning I woke up with that "Christmas morning" feeling, even though all I am doing today is going to a meeting, laundry, meeting friends for dinner, and then another meeting. It's nice to feel at peace sometimes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 14
Thanks, Skippy & Warren...
It's SO COOL to connect with others who are at similar stages in our recovery. It makes me feel so much less alone, which can be a real trigger for me.
Great job to you both, too. We can do this thing... and just keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing, and not being overly concerned about what's too far down the line to do anything about. Frankly, that's all I can concentrate on right now, but it feels right.
Thanks again for posting.
It's SO COOL to connect with others who are at similar stages in our recovery. It makes me feel so much less alone, which can be a real trigger for me.
Great job to you both, too. We can do this thing... and just keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing, and not being overly concerned about what's too far down the line to do anything about. Frankly, that's all I can concentrate on right now, but it feels right.
Thanks again for posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 14
Hey, Irish...
Thanks to you, too, for sharing your experience. I know this is probably going to last for awhile, but have every confidence that it will end. I do know how good it feels to get a little more time between me and that last drink.
oh... and Merry Christmas!! :bounce
Thanks to you, too, for sharing your experience. I know this is probably going to last for awhile, but have every confidence that it will end. I do know how good it feels to get a little more time between me and that last drink.
oh... and Merry Christmas!! :bounce
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 14
Thanks, Cathy. I do need to remind myself sometimes how good it gets...
I may already have a sponsor, just trying to get together and get on a schedule. Have had some good and not-so-good experiences with sponsors in the past, so am choosing very carefully this time.
xoxox
deb
I may already have a sponsor, just trying to get together and get on a schedule. Have had some good and not-so-good experiences with sponsors in the past, so am choosing very carefully this time.
xoxox
deb
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Juju-
The feelings you describe were my experience also - but they lifted as I went through the steps.
You mention AA - where are you in the stepwork? I am assuming you have a sponsor and such.....
I don't know about that 6-18 months for PAWS(that is a really long spread of time), in fact, the PAWS information doesn't really make much sense to me, nor was it my experience - I was a heavy daily drinker (more than a fifth of vodka daily at the end). I felt pretty normal around 30-40 days. I was very active in doing AA - aka The 12 steps.
The feelings you describe were my experience also - but they lifted as I went through the steps.
You mention AA - where are you in the stepwork? I am assuming you have a sponsor and such.....
I don't know about that 6-18 months for PAWS(that is a really long spread of time), in fact, the PAWS information doesn't really make much sense to me, nor was it my experience - I was a heavy daily drinker (more than a fifth of vodka daily at the end). I felt pretty normal around 30-40 days. I was very active in doing AA - aka The 12 steps.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Juju...
Hang in there!!! Some days, even with some sobriety under my belt, I need to take the day one minute at a time...
Remember -- it gets better without alcohol.... only worse with it...
You will make it by doing the 'next right things.' Keep going to meetings, stay busy, and stay 'recovering.' Keep sobriety FIRST in your life before anything. Anything you put ahead of sobriety, you will lose... but it sounds like you are doing that, and having some rough spots... pray, call folks in the program, and sometimes just take the pain long enough to come through on the other side of it....
Do you have a sponsor? If not, get one, even if temporary -- and get lots of phone numbers... working with another alcoholic, even if it's just chatting on the phone, helps us recover...
Keep it in today!!!
Ken
Hang in there!!! Some days, even with some sobriety under my belt, I need to take the day one minute at a time...
Remember -- it gets better without alcohol.... only worse with it...
You will make it by doing the 'next right things.' Keep going to meetings, stay busy, and stay 'recovering.' Keep sobriety FIRST in your life before anything. Anything you put ahead of sobriety, you will lose... but it sounds like you are doing that, and having some rough spots... pray, call folks in the program, and sometimes just take the pain long enough to come through on the other side of it....
Do you have a sponsor? If not, get one, even if temporary -- and get lots of phone numbers... working with another alcoholic, even if it's just chatting on the phone, helps us recover...
Keep it in today!!!
Ken
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Portland Maine
Posts: 12
Congrats on 32. I'm have 12 today and am in an IOP. I had 9 years once.
Just promice yourself you'll make a phone call or get to a meeting before you pick up. It's that easy. If you don't take the first sip you have a chance at another day.
hang
Just promice yourself you'll make a phone call or get to a meeting before you pick up. It's that easy. If you don't take the first sip you have a chance at another day.
hang
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
JuJu -
hi - give it time, hon. you've got a lot to get back in order and to get used to.
the more you understand PAWS, the better you'll feel. about what your'e feeling, I mean.
USE what you've learned in rehab, and stick with your schedule.
i'm at nineteen months, and I still stick to my schedule.
they tried to shift me around at work and i made them shift me back.
you've made a great start, and a good decision to put your recovery first!
GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK!!!
don't get too upset about the PAWS thing - it's actually more funny when you get a grasp of it. we had a great thread going about it a few months back - Carol - I can't find it - think it got lost in the crash? I remember LetStartOver started it...
remember that one? the one about why is the pizza in the refrigerator, and the plate in the trash?
that one?
Adventures are never fun .. while they're happening.
with time, JuJu, the PAWS stuff with slack off.
Then you'll maybe MAYBE only experience it when you're startled. Eventually - it'll go away altogether....
hi - give it time, hon. you've got a lot to get back in order and to get used to.
the more you understand PAWS, the better you'll feel. about what your'e feeling, I mean.
USE what you've learned in rehab, and stick with your schedule.
i'm at nineteen months, and I still stick to my schedule.
they tried to shift me around at work and i made them shift me back.
you've made a great start, and a good decision to put your recovery first!
GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK!!!
don't get too upset about the PAWS thing - it's actually more funny when you get a grasp of it. we had a great thread going about it a few months back - Carol - I can't find it - think it got lost in the crash? I remember LetStartOver started it...
remember that one? the one about why is the pizza in the refrigerator, and the plate in the trash?
that one?
Adventures are never fun .. while they're happening.
with time, JuJu, the PAWS stuff with slack off.
Then you'll maybe MAYBE only experience it when you're startled. Eventually - it'll go away altogether....
Using Art
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: a happy state of mind
Posts: 40
DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please stay sober!! I understand EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL - but if you can do it, maybe I can do it, too!! I look to you guys for role models ... lord knows an addict/alcoholic needs a role model in this crazy world!!
I'm rooting for you!!!!
BIG BEAR HUGS!!!
Please stay sober!! I understand EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL - but if you can do it, maybe I can do it, too!! I look to you guys for role models ... lord knows an addict/alcoholic needs a role model in this crazy world!!
I'm rooting for you!!!!
BIG BEAR HUGS!!!
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I think what Fearlessly meant to say was something about not ... giving up...
just in case that didn't come through...:rof
I'm rooting for you too. although not in the Birtish sense.
just in case that didn't come through...:rof
I'm rooting for you too. although not in the Birtish sense.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 14
Thanks, Barb.
Too funny about the pizza.
I've "lost" my keys several times, only to search frantically until I found them... IN THE FRONT DOOR of my house. That's actually kinda scary, though, eh?
deb
Too funny about the pizza.
I've "lost" my keys several times, only to search frantically until I found them... IN THE FRONT DOOR of my house. That's actually kinda scary, though, eh?
deb
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