;(
 

;(

Paulos....you ok?

:(:(:(

Darlin you gotta use words....I am sorry you are feeling so blue.

messed up again, and my OCD is going up the roof... the discomfort I feel is the worst I've ever had in my life, I feel my brain is going to stop operating to the point where it will tell me heart to stop beating, and I can't even keep track of my days and have no ambition to do anything, I feel like pure crap.

is it possible for you to get to a hospital for an evaluation? I have no experience with OCD. You say messed up...with alcohol?

yea, alcohol. I'm just really ocd, everyone around me tells me I'm so smart/aware of things but I don't feel it.

Nothing will change unless you change. People believe in you, maybe you can start believing in yourself?

It's hard to believe in yourself when you're always, always, constantly doubting yourself... I feel like a turd and I'm gonna cry any minute I just know it... sigh.

nothing wrong with crying....put one foot in front of the other Paulos...

Paulos stop drowing yourself in your sorrows. You probably are a smart guy, actually I don't doubt that you are. You've dug yourself in a hole and its time to get out, you are starting to make a smell in there. You gotta seek some sort of treatment or program, man....its obvious to me that no one around you can help, so go find help. I believe in you man. Sometimes, you gotta help yourself. Take care.

you just got a disease you are refusing to treat.

why?

I'm just really scared all.

Who was it that diagnosed this "OCD"? What you have sounds like textbook Alcoholism. That includes using any and all excuses to drink or justify our drinking.

No pink, even when I wasn't drinking I had ocd/anxiety/depression, it's just been magnified.

So quit drinking!

That's what I'm doing Pink :codiepolice.

Are you physically able to get away from this computer???

Get on some running shoes, and go for a jog!!! If, you have any place you can.

If, you can't jog, walk.

Set yourself a goal. What do you want to do with the rest of your life??

Concentrate on that.

Everything works one step at a time. You sit and think, you're losing to alcohol. Well you are if, you think, that you are.

You got your whole life ahead of you.

What, I wouldn't give to be your age right now :)

Have you got any sober friends you can do any kind of physical activity with right now??

Years ago, while going thru my divorce, instead of drinking, I got on my ten speed an, I rode that bike and rode that bike until, I was xhausted every day. Kept me from drinking and got me in great shape and gave me a chance to think, about what and where I was going next in my life after my divorce.

Negative thoughts, gives us negative feelings, negative feelings causes us to do negative actions like drinking!!!

We can all give you advice on what to do but, we can't carry you.

It's up to you to make the effort:)

I believe you can do it, you have to believe you can as well!!!

OCD is IIRC made worse by stress, you're trying to quit drinking, which is stressfull, which makes the OCD worse, which makes you stressed, which makes you want to drink, which makes you stressed etc

Go see a doctor Paulos, not for just the one thing, tell him/her everything, whats working, what isn't, how you feel, how you don't, tell the doctor, ask for help, in fact, demand help! You want to be sober and happy, you can't do it alone.