I did it again -_-
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,202
I did it again -_-
I've done it again... back on Day 0... god DAM it... the only thing I learned from it is that it's not worth doing, this time I didn't escape... the whole time while boozing I was still anxious and anxiety filled. Maybe this was another stepping stone of learning for me... all I know is 27 days ...gone... well I was suffering really bad last night as usual though...
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
whoops. Think you got it out of your system yet? Nothing you can do but try again.
I think I mentally relapsed weeks ago, I just haven't acted on it. Don't feel badly, its ok, hopefully you were safe when you were boozing it up.
Where there's a will there's a way.
I think I mentally relapsed weeks ago, I just haven't acted on it. Don't feel badly, its ok, hopefully you were safe when you were boozing it up.
Where there's a will there's a way.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
He's warned me, and I'm stopping the same way, and Taz I'm going to prove to you that some people can go off alcohol without a recovery program I swear to god ever since I came here that's all you've said, so I will prove it.
__________________
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power
__________________
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power
Paulos please do not be as stubborn as I was and spend 10 years doing the same thing over and over again like I did.
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
are you sure you drink because your anxious? or do you just like to get drunk?
does your anxiety stem from drinking?
has your anxiety gotten worse in proportion to your drinking?
do you really want to quit drinking?
be honest with yourself
I lied to myself for years, saying I wanted to quit, when what I really wanted was to get away with it
when i truely WANTED to quit, or better yet HAD to quit
i did something about it
I got a sponsor and I worked the steps, most importantly I took action
i did not do the same thing that had failed over and over again waiting for a different result
if you want to quit drinking there are lots of programs you can become a part of
if you seriously want it, then take it seriously
i wish you the best paulos
does your anxiety stem from drinking?
has your anxiety gotten worse in proportion to your drinking?
do you really want to quit drinking?
be honest with yourself
I lied to myself for years, saying I wanted to quit, when what I really wanted was to get away with it
when i truely WANTED to quit, or better yet HAD to quit
i did something about it
I got a sponsor and I worked the steps, most importantly I took action
i did not do the same thing that had failed over and over again waiting for a different result
if you want to quit drinking there are lots of programs you can become a part of
if you seriously want it, then take it seriously
i wish you the best paulos
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,202
My anxiety used to get numbed by drinking, I drink to get drunk and to be away from my anxiety yes. Yes the drinking has made me worse. Yes I swear to god I want to quit, 29a. Sure I still have cravings and am used to being a drinker but that's something that I have to deal with.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 170
What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach, so you get what we had here last night which is the way Paulo’s wants it. Well, he gets it.
All jokes aside as the first 100 put it we can not keep chasing a man that will not work with us. Some times leaving a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. I have noticed your threads are getting a bit shorter in responses maybe people already know what I don’t.
I'm an alcoholic because I don’t want to drink yet there is a little voice that says come on just have a couple it will be ok. Sometimes I end up ok but in light of what always happens why do I take that first drink?
Staying away from a drink isn’t really the issue just ask the guy fresh out of prison who stayed bone dry for years. Within a few days or weeks he goes right back to the poison that landed him in jail to begin with much like you and these last 27 days. The problem centers in my mind and that’s where the steps of recovery come into play. These steps are what help me live a healthy happy life free from substances and this happens with no real effort on my part.
You have been a member of SR for what a little over a year. What ever it is your doing it is obvious to me and everyone in this community that it’s not working. If you went to AA today got a sponsor and put as much energy into it as you have at failing this time next year it would be a safe bet we would be having a much different conversation. In truth you and I probably wouldn’t be talking at all. You would probably be passing this message on to someone else.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Newark,DE
Posts: 404
Hi Paulos,
You are doing great, 27 days is really good, I'm sure your body enjoyed the break. You didn't fail, all part of the process. As long as you're trying!
If, and then, what program is a personal choice, but for you, I think Taz & 29a are on the right track. You need to get out among people. Even if its not a recovery program, SOMETHING to do with your time, something to look forward to doing. Isolation is a killer.
How about joining a gym? Or, you can make up your own PE program, all you need is a place to walk, run or whatever. I think you will find your depression problems will get better as you gain self confidence/self worth. Drugs aint gonna do it for you.
Anyway, didn't mean to lecture, I'm glad you're back in the fight.
S
You are doing great, 27 days is really good, I'm sure your body enjoyed the break. You didn't fail, all part of the process. As long as you're trying!
If, and then, what program is a personal choice, but for you, I think Taz & 29a are on the right track. You need to get out among people. Even if its not a recovery program, SOMETHING to do with your time, something to look forward to doing. Isolation is a killer.
How about joining a gym? Or, you can make up your own PE program, all you need is a place to walk, run or whatever. I think you will find your depression problems will get better as you gain self confidence/self worth. Drugs aint gonna do it for you.
Anyway, didn't mean to lecture, I'm glad you're back in the fight.
S
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
first I want to say I didn't mean that to be mean in anyway
sometimes when you care about someone, especially in sobriety, you tell them what they need to hear, even if it doesn't feel good
second
have you ever given any thought to the fact that this is something you can't "deal" with by yourself?
it seems that your best efforts aren't working, I know the feeling, so do most people here
i really hope you get the help you need
there was a point in my life when i had to day, "i can't do this, i can't beat this thing" and I had to ask for help
for the love of god, get into some kind of program
why make something hard when there is an easy solution?
sometimes when you care about someone, especially in sobriety, you tell them what they need to hear, even if it doesn't feel good
second
have you ever given any thought to the fact that this is something you can't "deal" with by yourself?
it seems that your best efforts aren't working, I know the feeling, so do most people here
i really hope you get the help you need
there was a point in my life when i had to day, "i can't do this, i can't beat this thing" and I had to ask for help
for the love of god, get into some kind of program
why make something hard when there is an easy solution?
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Maybe its time you tried something different? Like a program of recovery. AA is not the only one out there. Here is a link to a list of them, I hope you will use it and stop the insanity.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
Maybe its time you tried something different? Like a program of recovery. AA is not the only one out there. Here is a link to a list of them, I hope you will use it and stop the insanity.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
easy does it buddy, there is no right or wrong when your being honest so no need to worry about how wrote it
and I can relate to those feelings
a lot of my anxiety was caused by self centeredness
and i don't mean that as a putdown, i was the same way
when your the be all end all of the universe, it's a lot of pressure
when you believe something greater than you is in charge, it takes all that pressure away
and I can relate to those feelings
a lot of my anxiety was caused by self centeredness
and i don't mean that as a putdown, i was the same way
when your the be all end all of the universe, it's a lot of pressure
when you believe something greater than you is in charge, it takes all that pressure away
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Is it time to give recovery a shot?
Also -- is the anxiety causing you to drink, or the other way around?
Look, there is nothing you can do with the fact that you picked up again, but accept it. Don't beat yourself up, but do learn from it. You must be willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober -- ANY LENGTHS. That means it becomes more important than anything.
We talked last night at a meeting about procrastination -- it took me a long time to admit to my innermost self that I am an alcoholic. Then and only then could I set out on a program of recovery, for me it's AA. Whatever the program, it works if you do...
Let me know how I can help.
Ken
Also -- is the anxiety causing you to drink, or the other way around?
Look, there is nothing you can do with the fact that you picked up again, but accept it. Don't beat yourself up, but do learn from it. You must be willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober -- ANY LENGTHS. That means it becomes more important than anything.
We talked last night at a meeting about procrastination -- it took me a long time to admit to my innermost self that I am an alcoholic. Then and only then could I set out on a program of recovery, for me it's AA. Whatever the program, it works if you do...
Let me know how I can help.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Originally Posted by Steve58 
You didn't fail, all part of the process. As long as you're trying!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: kenner, la
Posts: 25
Paulos
Don't beat yourself up. Just start over starting right now. Find the lesson here and move on. I, like you, suffer from extreme anxiety. It causes weird symptoms and fighting becomes so tiresome. I have become depressed and think I have developed anxiety disorders. That was my fear of AA. I tried doing it alone but I must submit. I cannot do alone any longer. Tomorrow I am going to a counselor to plan my treatment which will include 3 group sessions a week, one on one talk therapy, and participation in AA. This is frightening to me but I am more afraid of taking that next drink. I know now I need to be around others and I need the support of others. I think I told you the other day that I was praying for the courage well I have it. Thank God! Tomorrow I can start to breathe again. To become more involved in life. I have just stopped drinking I am hardly sober. I still don't know what that is after 8 weeks. Hopefully, with the help of counselors, group, and AA, I will be a lot less depressed and anxious and living a fuller life. I hope and pray for the same with you. I let you know how it goes.
Don't beat yourself up. Just start over starting right now. Find the lesson here and move on. I, like you, suffer from extreme anxiety. It causes weird symptoms and fighting becomes so tiresome. I have become depressed and think I have developed anxiety disorders. That was my fear of AA. I tried doing it alone but I must submit. I cannot do alone any longer. Tomorrow I am going to a counselor to plan my treatment which will include 3 group sessions a week, one on one talk therapy, and participation in AA. This is frightening to me but I am more afraid of taking that next drink. I know now I need to be around others and I need the support of others. I think I told you the other day that I was praying for the courage well I have it. Thank God! Tomorrow I can start to breathe again. To become more involved in life. I have just stopped drinking I am hardly sober. I still don't know what that is after 8 weeks. Hopefully, with the help of counselors, group, and AA, I will be a lot less depressed and anxious and living a fuller life. I hope and pray for the same with you. I let you know how it goes.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
You did a longer sober time this go round than before.
And this time you discovered
alcohol was not helping with your other issues.
I see those facts as double pluses .
And this time you discovered
alcohol was not helping with your other issues.
I see those facts as double pluses .
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Originally Posted by mad1nola
Paulos
Don't beat yourself up. Just start over starting right now. Find the lesson here and move on. I, like you, suffer from extreme anxiety. It causes weird symptoms and fighting becomes so tiresome. I have become depressed and think I have developed anxiety disorders. That was my fear of AA. I tried doing it alone but I must submit. I cannot do alone any longer. Tomorrow I am going to a counselor to plan my treatment which will include 3 group sessions a week, one on one talk therapy, and participation in AA. This is frightening to me but I am more afraid of taking that next drink. I know now I need to be around others and I need the support of others. I think I told you the other day that I was praying for the courage well I have it. Thank God! Tomorrow I can start to breathe again. To become more involved in life. I have just stopped drinking I am hardly sober. I still don't know what that is after 8 weeks. Hopefully, with the help of counselors, group, and AA, I will be a lot less depressed and anxious and living a fuller life. I hope and pray for the same with you. I let you know how it goes.
Don't beat yourself up. Just start over starting right now. Find the lesson here and move on. I, like you, suffer from extreme anxiety. It causes weird symptoms and fighting becomes so tiresome. I have become depressed and think I have developed anxiety disorders. That was my fear of AA. I tried doing it alone but I must submit. I cannot do alone any longer. Tomorrow I am going to a counselor to plan my treatment which will include 3 group sessions a week, one on one talk therapy, and participation in AA. This is frightening to me but I am more afraid of taking that next drink. I know now I need to be around others and I need the support of others. I think I told you the other day that I was praying for the courage well I have it. Thank God! Tomorrow I can start to breathe again. To become more involved in life. I have just stopped drinking I am hardly sober. I still don't know what that is after 8 weeks. Hopefully, with the help of counselors, group, and AA, I will be a lot less depressed and anxious and living a fuller life. I hope and pray for the same with you. I let you know how it goes.
Paulos you are not alone in this fight, you need to really try to become a part of the world in some manner and not continue to isolate from the world by escaping into alcohol and video games. Step out into the real world, it is a beautiful place once you become a part of it.
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by Paulos
I was just suffering, nothing more... I learned a lesson, my anxiety isn't getting fixed with alcohol. If I KNEW THAT I wouldn't have drank in the first place.
Move on, find something that works, find recovery, but don't forget the lesson - otherwise you'll repeat it.
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