What Was Your First Business Trip Like...
 

...after you were sober? I have a trip coming up on Tuesday though Thursday and when my company goes on these things it's all about the bar and drinking after the meetings. This is stressing me out because I do not want to tell everyone what is going on with me. Also, I am perceived as the life of the party. My plan is to use the time working out at the hotel gym, but I am stilll very stressed about it.

The only person you have to be comfortable with is yourself. You are not obligated to be the life of the party, remember that.

I have out of town business trips almost every week so I think I get where you are coming from. I was one of the hard partiers - pounding the beers, ordering the shots. Except I started to miss meetings or show up reeking of booze from the 'night' before, half drunk.

I'm less than 3 months sober so this is still a very real challenge for me. When asked to go for drinks a simple no thanks or not this time (I know, bit of a cop out) is usually enough. Beyond that, I really don't owe anybody an explanation. Try & relax about this part - for me, in retrospect, it is really no big deal to others whether I drink or not (they will stay sober or get drunk without me).

Keeping busy hasn't been a problem for me. Fitness centre, shopping, SR, phoning friends back home, reading, going for walks...all kinds of stuff to do. I also found that a high proportion of my colleagues do not drink or abuse alcohol - I hang out with them (dinner, coffee, movies).

Something to look forward to - the feeling of accomplishment when you wake up the next day without any guilt/hangover & when you get back home with your sobriety intact is incredible.

Oh, and it does get easier & easier after each business trip.

Think how much more productive this trip will be sober!

You can be a step ahead of the drinkers,
and establish a better business reputation .
:)

Where is the business trip? Here are some suggestions:
1. Have a list of meetings (AA) in the area.
2. DO workout at the hotel gym, and conveniently slip back to your room when done, shower and get to bed.
3. Always have an out if you are going to an 'off site' location. Take a separate car, or have a means of escape.
4. Have a list of phone numbers of sober AA friends with you at all times.
5. MOST IMPORTANTLY -- your sobriety must come first always, anything you put before your sobriety you will lose.
6. Don't worry about what others think, they'll get over it.
7. Share whatever you are comfortable sharing. Most of the folks I work with think I don't drink because I am a 'health nut', some of them (finally, after 3 years or so) know I am a recovering alcoholic.

I know those business trips all too well.... but you can make it through them...

NMB

Thank you All for Your Reply...I feel less stressed already. I guess with time it will get easier. I will let you know how it goes.

Welcome to SR, pi2
My first business trip sober was hard on me, but the worst part was the anxiety I felt building up to the trip. I work in the hospitality/liquor business, and drinking is really a big part of the conferences I attend. Here's some stuff that helped me out:

- Make sure you have an "escape plan" if you begin to feel uncomfortable. *having a headache* can come in handy to avoid the late night party scene. Going to the washroom at cetain times is a good way to get away momentarily to say a little prayer of have a break from people who are drinking.
- Most people don't really notice what you're drinking...and few will comment unless they have a problem of their own.
- Soda and lime blends in well at night, but don't get it mixed up with someone elses drink! I like to keep my non-alcohoic drink in my hand, and sip it as the night goes on.
- When you order your first non-alcoholic drink, tell the bartender you're driving and tip well.... Always smell your non-alcoholic drink before you drink it, and never leave it un-attended.
- Make sure you eat well....you'd be amazed how well a full stomach helps one with cravings and/or anxiety.
- Go to the hotel room early, after all the useful conversation is done.
- If you have a laptop, or access to a computer, this website is a big help
- It's possible to say no to a drink with casual and natural one line answers ie: "not tonight" "I've got work to do when I get back to my room" "I'm driving" etc... You don't need to explain yourself, just brush it off if it comes up.

Good luck! Please tell us how it goes.
chip

Sober Work Conferences....
 

Hi,

I remember my worry about going to work conferences or retreats...I had quit drinking before I got this job but still didn't know what I would feel like when most everyone started drinking. There were two of us that didn't drink so we hung out together.

It wasn't long before I felt comfortable telling my co-workers that I was a recovering alcoholic and it worked out A Okay!!!

I always made sure I had some of my favorite things to drink with me...home made late's, my soda pop and a special treat to eat when I went to bed while the others partied on into the night...I was about ten years older than the average workers I was with so they accepted my going to bed early.

I didn't miss drinking....had never drank with them but soon found out who was abusing alcohol and who was a social drinker...kinda fun some times. :rof

kelsh

You have gotten some good advice from some folks with some experience.

I will add that you may be surprised to learn that you being the life of the party may be strictly in your own eyes. LOL I was amazed that folks I used to drink with still had a good time drinking without me and were so busy drinking they did not really care if I was there or not.

It did not take me long to be perectly comfortable telling folks I was a recovered alcoholic, beleive it or not most complimented me and a few have come to me to talk about thier problem....... you see me being honest opened a door for another alcoholic to step through to recovery.

here is my experience
last weekend I went back to my hometown to make some ammends. It's a small town, i got sober while living in another city, and have only been back a handful of times

I was out running around on friday night, I ran into all kinds of my old friends, or aquaintences to be exact. When they asked me to go out, I said "I quit drinking". No explanations, no apologies, no reasons just that.

No one reacted, no one asked me to explain, no one cared.

sunday night i got in contact with one of my old friends, very close old friends that is.
he new I had quit, but he seemed a little tenative about it, he asked me if it would bother me if he drank. I told him no, I drank a large coffee, he had 2 beers and we hung out for a couple of hours talking. It was really nice.

i guess the long and short of it is that no one cares whether or not you drink
the first time I told an old drinking buddy "i quit drinking" it felt weird, but when the world didn't end after I said those words, I realized it didn't matter

i personally don't feel the need to justify it with anyone, if someone does ask you to elaborate, you may get a chance to spread the message

one thing to note, if I were not spiritually sound I would not put myself in a situation where people were drinking to intoxication, i tend to get a case of the "why not me's?"

29a, you sound like you work a heck of a program. :)

I practiced my karate and on the one time I did go to the bar, I ordered a diet coke.
Wasn't drinking but I still had my bad habits and was late for the Wed. morning meeting. If I was drinking, I most likely would have missed the meeting all together. My excuse.... ummmm Well the time zone differences had me sleep late. Once I accepted the fact I had other issues besides alcohol intake, I now realize I slept late because I am lazy at times.

You can be truthful when people ask..if they do.
No thank you. I want to go work out at the gym.
or
No thank you. I am trying a life changing experience and want to see how much I can get out of these meetings by not having a hangover all morning tomorrow.

another thing you'll notice in those situations

drunk people are the most ANNOYING people in the world
they are worse than flies at a picnic
worse than the bottom of your foot itching while your trying to drive
etc

you may find that you don't want to be around it

I agree 100% about drunk people being annoying 29a - I was an expert!!

I second what some others have said - Do not go to the bar. Have some other activity that you can do like working out. You actually can turn the tables and you will feel great while everybody else is hung over.

I never really had to tell other people I stopped drinking - I just said I am not drinking today (which keeps it in line with the one day at a time approach.)

Dave