omegaweapon85

As I sat her drinking a 16oz Milwaukee's Best, home alone, I started thinking about what happened to me the other night. So I looked up "alcoholism and bedwetting" on Dogpile, and stumbled upon you guys' little coven.
It started out a normal night. I got off work and went to visit my friend at her work because I had lost my cell phone (after getting smashed and trying to drive around looking for a bag of weed) and was trying to gather everyone's phone numbers. She suggested we get together and drink after she got off that night. Of course, I said "right on.... what time?".
So I get home around 5:30 or 6 and down a couple of beers. I feel totally normal and fine, if not a little happier, and watch some TV, actually thinking that I may not head over to her house after all.
By 10:30 I'm feeling pretty good and decide to go on over anyway. She is not home and I'm a little annoyed at having to drive accross the city (I live in St. Louis) to meet up with her, and having no cell phone, was unable to get ahold of her.
I had bought a fresh twelve pack of beer, in addition to the one I was drinking on before I left.
So I go home.
I'm feeling alright and am obviously not ready for bed, so I screw around on the internet, watch some more TV, and get to work on the new twelve pack I brought home.
2:00am
I am quite drunk, but evidently did not realize it because I go to the nearest payphone and call her. She sounds like she may have been asleep, but insists I come over anyway. I go back home and collect the remaining three or four beers I have left, and hit the road.
This is where I am a very fuzzy. It seems that I remember getting there and telling her that I had forgotten my work clothes for the following day. I remember her asking me if all I needed was a collared shirt. I think she also offered to smoke a bowl with me. Whether I did or not is not clear.
I wake up to the sound of her telling me to turn the f@cking alarm clock off and get to work.
I am horrified. She is still half asleep (we slept in the same bed), and obviously doesn't realize that I just P@ssed in her bed. I am fully awake now and do not have the ability to say, "hey I just peed in your bed, I'm so sorry" or whatever the hell you are supposed to say to someone when something like that happens.
I'm supposed to be at work in one hour.
Luckily (I guess) it was one of the biggest snow storms of the year, and I just go home and fall into bed for another five hours, not even bothering to call work and tell them I wont be there.
I show up at work the next day and explain to them that I could not get my car out of the driveway, and having lost my cell phone, there was no way for me to call.
They accepted, and everything is fine.
I KNOW I have a problem. The entire next day after that I thought to myself that I may actually stop drinking now. That this may be my rock bottom.
I am on my way home from work tonight and get the urge. I stop off and get a twelve pack and get busy.
My boyfriend is out of town until next Monday. We have lived together since last may, and though he is a heavy drinker, he is not a problem drinker. When he drinks, he drinks a lot. But when I drink 5 nights a week, he drinks maybe once. I have had many instances before that have caused me to want to stop, and his theory is that I may need to stop, or I may just need to cut down. He is at a loss for what to do, as am I.
This is not my first battle with addiction. I was a meth addict for three years when I was a teenager. IV addict. I was 95 pounds and I would live, breath and (NOT) sleep meth. I went to prison when I was nineteen for revoking my probation for possession and have not used the drug since.
however.... my boyfriend has since discovered that he cannot keep any kind of narcotic painkiller or marijuana (even though he only smokes twice a year at most) in the house because it will not remain long. Same goes for beer and liquor, though I usually keep some kind of alcohol in the house.

I really just want to hear you guys' comments... I'm not even sure what I'm doing here. I've tried everything from AA to Zen meditation... no joke... am I a hopeless cause?

Sauced in St. Louis

Miss Pink

Omega...I just replied to your post over in FF forum, so Im not going to repost everything here. Just wanted you to know you are not alone....some others will be along soon to welcome you.

Keep coming back....you CAN get sober...if you really really really want to.

Signal30

If you want to get sober you must have the willingness to want to get sober. Alcoholism is fatal if gone untreated. To be sober, must be your number one priority. Most of us hit our bottoms when we are desperate, and then either two things happen.

You become willing to change your life, and be willing to go to any length. (Hit bottom)

Or

You do nothing and eventually your bottom becomes the bottom of a box in the ground.


This can be a crutial point in your life where you have a choice. You initiated the act of willingness by telling us your story. Alot of people are too plagued by fear to reach out for help. The next action (which is your choice) is to do something about it.

I personally chose AA and it is keeping me sober physically and emotionally. There are other treatment options out there also. You have already moved forward. Are you going to continue?

Tom

Pilgrim

Hi and welcome to SR.

Thanks for telling us your story and where you are at right now. I did some dangerous and humiliating things while I was drinking too. Please don't drink and drive any more. That is a real worry.

It sounds like you are having blackouts. I used to have those too.

Anyhow, settle in and read the information on the site. It's great to have you here.

CarolD

As this is a duplicate thread
it's closed.

The member has one in Newcomers
if you choose to share.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ost-cause.html

Thanks Everyone