I drank
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 39
I drank
I made it 35 weeks and 4 days sober. My brother/sister in-law came from Wisconsin(Wednesday) and talked me into drinking(Thursday). I felt like crap on Friday. Then I finished the left over Bailey's in my coffee Saturday morning. I feel bad about it and then I didn't...I could have been drinking the whole time, right? My soberity starts again today.
I just wanted to let you know.
I just wanted to let you know.
BikerBill8
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: phoenix, az
Posts: 41
You did the right thing in this situation. Sure you relapsed and there is nothing you can do about this as of RIGHT NOW. But you didn't beat yourself up about it and continue to drown in your sorrow with more alcohol. Get to some meetings and keep up with your sobriety from here on out.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Try Try
again!!
The key for me....knowing my disease was going to kill me.
Untreated alcoholism is progressive incurable and fatal.
No exceptions. Get serious and get sober. You can do this !
The key for me....knowing my disease was going to kill me.
Untreated alcoholism is progressive incurable and fatal.
No exceptions. Get serious and get sober. You can do this !
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 39
I don't go to meetings or have a sponser. I can take alcohol or leave it now. I just hate the trouble it brings. My husband is still a heavey drinker. He drinks a 24 pack dailey and I never touch it. I don't normally have company. That was the first time since my husband and I moved here in 2 and a half years. Thought, what the heck...why not, but, I was proud of going so long without it. I have a problem with food too. I also, ate more than I should of too. I already go to Weight Watcher's for that.
:hamburger
:hamburger
we're all mad here!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Sounds like you could use Al Anon too. There is a great Al Anon forum here.... check it out!
If you are serious about not drinking or even suspect you have a problem... make plans ahead of time for when you need them.
Like... find meetings (find open meetings... you don't have to be an alcoholic to go to an open meeting). Even go to a meeting and get some numbers. That way, when you are tempted to drink, you'll have backup. Trust me, even if you just meet the ppl once and don't call them for a year, they'll still want to help you! Or.... you can look up AA in the phone book and call them..... you can get #'s that way. Or just have the AA # on hand.
You could have a plan that if you feel like drinking, you can go for a walk. If you feel like drinking, you could come to this site. If you feel like drinking, you can call a non-drinking friend. If you feel like drinking, you could eat some candy or drink your favorite non-alcoholic drink.
You get the picture.
If you are serious about not drinking or even suspect you have a problem... make plans ahead of time for when you need them.
Like... find meetings (find open meetings... you don't have to be an alcoholic to go to an open meeting). Even go to a meeting and get some numbers. That way, when you are tempted to drink, you'll have backup. Trust me, even if you just meet the ppl once and don't call them for a year, they'll still want to help you! Or.... you can look up AA in the phone book and call them..... you can get #'s that way. Or just have the AA # on hand.
You could have a plan that if you feel like drinking, you can go for a walk. If you feel like drinking, you could come to this site. If you feel like drinking, you can call a non-drinking friend. If you feel like drinking, you could eat some candy or drink your favorite non-alcoholic drink.
You get the picture.
Digitally Remastered
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Samsara
Posts: 102
Re: I drank
Hi Tigeress! First, it AIN'T the end of the world cause you're still here. I just thanked MY HP for that. Here's what ya said:
But here's what I heard:
When I came into AA and made it 32 days sober and then went on a binge that lasted longer than that I shocked and astounded them by telling them I was glad I did it. It put me on a different path than the one I was previously on. THIS path I was now on had a helluva lot of honesty thrown in. Before, I was the AA poster girl...no resentments...whipped creamy BS flowed from my mouth as I'd tell you what sounded good. So I went on a bender. Came back and it was ALL new. It was great! [I'd hit some bottoms I didn't think I had in me.] But it got me honest & it was something that I needed to do.
I certainly don't think those 32 days of sobriety were wasted. Cause then in my second 32 days, I had something to compare it to. Second time was better...I'd learned something and I had changed my path inadvertantly. How can your 35 weeks and 4 days be wasted if you were sober and learned something in that time? The WORST thing I can see that happened from this, is maybe you have a crack in your foundation...and in MY experience, I'd much rather have a crack in my foundation of AA, than the pile of Horse $h1t that was my foundation while out there...before sobriety.
Let's talk about this crack you may have...
Maybe it's as simple as thinking you could handle it again. Maybe you wanted to prove to your family you weren't an alcoholic? Maybe you longed to drink [to be a part of] to prove you weren't one. Whatever it is, and this is just based on what you said, it sounds as if it's first step stuff. In a few days, by the grace of God, I'll have 6 months and do you know that only RECENTLY have I been able to practice EVERYDAY doing my first step 100%? [When I say recent I mean...like a few weeks ago.]
My sponsor and the other good people here suggest to me that that is the ONLY step I need to do 100% EVERY day. The other 11 is about progress ONLY...not perfection.
Have you examined a gut level honesty here, that may tell you what precipitated that drinking? It's not about "who made ya do it" [I heard the blame there] but about "WHY were you vulnerable to do it?" The more I'm into this with you Tigeress, and the fact you didn't let it go further than that night [and Saturday morning] it does tell me it's not a severe crack [if I may be allowed to go on with that analogy].
Mine went on for over a month and my crack involved thinking I could handle it this time along with tons of denial...mainly that I didn't have a resentment toward the person I was staying with during my Sabbatical. AND that I ALWAYS drank and partied when I went away for the break. But I wasn't there in my recovery to alter the outcome...but let's see what would I could have done differently, had I been there in my recovery:
1) Done the first step 100% every day while I was there.
2) Admitted to my sponsor the resentment I had.
3) Changed people places and things while I was there. [Instead of my usual crowd.]
4) Gone to a meeting when I got squirrely instead of drinking.
You're doing the right thing in getting it out and for you, I am grateful.
Love, Digits
I made it 35 weeks and 4 days sober. My brother/sister in-law came from Wisconsin(Wednesday) and talked me into drinking(Thursday). I felt like crap on Friday. Then I finished the left over Bailey's in my coffee Saturday morning. I feel bad about it and then I didn't...I could have been drinking the whole time, right? My soberity starts again today.
I just wanted to let you know.
I just wanted to let you know.
I made it 35 weeks and 4 days sober. I got talked into drinking. I may have well been drinking this 35 weeks and 4 days for all the good it did me. I am being honest with you guys in letting you know my sobriety starts again today.
I certainly don't think those 32 days of sobriety were wasted. Cause then in my second 32 days, I had something to compare it to. Second time was better...I'd learned something and I had changed my path inadvertantly. How can your 35 weeks and 4 days be wasted if you were sober and learned something in that time? The WORST thing I can see that happened from this, is maybe you have a crack in your foundation...and in MY experience, I'd much rather have a crack in my foundation of AA, than the pile of Horse $h1t that was my foundation while out there...before sobriety.
Let's talk about this crack you may have...
Maybe it's as simple as thinking you could handle it again. Maybe you wanted to prove to your family you weren't an alcoholic? Maybe you longed to drink [to be a part of] to prove you weren't one. Whatever it is, and this is just based on what you said, it sounds as if it's first step stuff. In a few days, by the grace of God, I'll have 6 months and do you know that only RECENTLY have I been able to practice EVERYDAY doing my first step 100%? [When I say recent I mean...like a few weeks ago.]
My sponsor and the other good people here suggest to me that that is the ONLY step I need to do 100% EVERY day. The other 11 is about progress ONLY...not perfection.
Have you examined a gut level honesty here, that may tell you what precipitated that drinking? It's not about "who made ya do it" [I heard the blame there] but about "WHY were you vulnerable to do it?" The more I'm into this with you Tigeress, and the fact you didn't let it go further than that night [and Saturday morning] it does tell me it's not a severe crack [if I may be allowed to go on with that analogy].
Mine went on for over a month and my crack involved thinking I could handle it this time along with tons of denial...mainly that I didn't have a resentment toward the person I was staying with during my Sabbatical. AND that I ALWAYS drank and partied when I went away for the break. But I wasn't there in my recovery to alter the outcome...but let's see what would I could have done differently, had I been there in my recovery:
1) Done the first step 100% every day while I was there.
2) Admitted to my sponsor the resentment I had.
3) Changed people places and things while I was there. [Instead of my usual crowd.]
4) Gone to a meeting when I got squirrely instead of drinking.
You're doing the right thing in getting it out and for you, I am grateful.
Love, Digits
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 39
It's kinda funny because sometimes I say "sure, I'll have a drink" at a race or something and plan on it and the time comes and I don't. I never said I'd stop drinking forever and that I can have that drink if I want it. I learned that in Weight Watcher's. I lost 58 pounds! Nothing is forbidden or you'll want it more. I tried the "I will never drink again" for years and could not stop over a week and a half. I only drank on the weekends. (8-12 a week) Before that I drank heavy everyday for years until I turned 25 years old. I am 38 years old now.
You're right, I should not beat myself up for one day of partying(which I did at home)....I tend to be more mad about the food I ate! That was one day out of 7 months. A total of 8 drinks...I learned once again what I feel like the next day and the silly things that are done when I get drunk. I danced!
:slider:
As far as people places and things...I have no friends or family in my area and I go to work and go home and it is just me and my husband(of 5 years)....can't change that.
You're right, I should not beat myself up for one day of partying(which I did at home)....I tend to be more mad about the food I ate! That was one day out of 7 months. A total of 8 drinks...I learned once again what I feel like the next day and the silly things that are done when I get drunk. I danced!
:slider:As far as people places and things...I have no friends or family in my area and I go to work and go home and it is just me and my husband(of 5 years)....can't change that.
Guest
Posts: n/a
HONESTY WITH YOURSELF
HI! I AM PROUD OF YOU FOR TELLING US YOU DRANK AGAIN.
THAT'S A GOOD START.
I DIDN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS EITHER, I DIDN'T THINK I NEEDED
ANY. HOWEVER, TODAY, I HAVE DISCOVERED, I DO NEED
SOME.
I NEED TO HEAR AND SEE WHAT OTHERS GET OUT OF THIS
PROGRAM, ((((RECOVERY))))) , AND HOW THEY DID IT.
ONE DAY AT A TIME.
WHEN I CAME INTO THIS PROGRAM, MY MIND WAS SO DEFECTIVE, THAT EVERY THING I THOUGHT WAS GOING
ON WAS A DELUSION, I ACTED ON THAT , WHICH CAUSED
MANY PROBLEMS THAT DIDN'T NEED TO BE HAPPENING.
I NOW HAVE 8 YEARS CLEAN. I HAVE A HOST OF FRIENDS, LIKE
THE BIG BOOK SAY'S. EVERY ONE OF THEM ARE VERY SPECIAL
TO ME. EVERY ONE OF THEM WILL SUPPORT AND HELP ME
WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN.
REALITY IS LIVING LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS ISN'T ALWAYS GLEEFUL.
HANG IN THERE,
ATHORITY ANGEL
THAT'S A GOOD START.
I DIDN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS EITHER, I DIDN'T THINK I NEEDED
ANY. HOWEVER, TODAY, I HAVE DISCOVERED, I DO NEED
SOME.
I NEED TO HEAR AND SEE WHAT OTHERS GET OUT OF THIS
PROGRAM, ((((RECOVERY))))) , AND HOW THEY DID IT.
ONE DAY AT A TIME.
WHEN I CAME INTO THIS PROGRAM, MY MIND WAS SO DEFECTIVE, THAT EVERY THING I THOUGHT WAS GOING
ON WAS A DELUSION, I ACTED ON THAT , WHICH CAUSED
MANY PROBLEMS THAT DIDN'T NEED TO BE HAPPENING.
I NOW HAVE 8 YEARS CLEAN. I HAVE A HOST OF FRIENDS, LIKE
THE BIG BOOK SAY'S. EVERY ONE OF THEM ARE VERY SPECIAL
TO ME. EVERY ONE OF THEM WILL SUPPORT AND HELP ME
WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN.
REALITY IS LIVING LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS ISN'T ALWAYS GLEEFUL.
HANG IN THERE,
ATHORITY ANGEL
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