A Good Place to Talk
 

While responding to another thread, I mentioned the need to talk to somebody while I go through alcohol recovery. Some very kind SR people responded by suggesting I start my own thread. Even if I don't get a lot of responses, it will give me a place to write my thoughts. Journal writing is great, but I like the thought of others "listening" to me.
I've been sober only 14 days. My husband has never supported my stopping drinking because he likes to have a drinking buddy. Well, 2 weeks ago I got very drunk and said many mean things to him, which I don't remember. I have never been a mean drunk. Thankfully, he didn't believe the things I said, but decided that I do, indeed, need to stop drinking. He has stopped with me in order to help. I know he will take it up again, but I am happy he is doing this now because it gives me the opportunity to get over the hump (hopefully) without the temptation always being there. I once went over 100 days, but for whatever reason, started drinking again. Since then it has been a week here, 2 weeks there, etc. Unfortunately, for me, he doesn't like to talk about it, and is going through his non drinking quietly. All my friends drink, so here I am.
Mostly, I want to concentrate on the positives of being sober. I hate looking back at the stupid things I've done while being drunk. I've already judged myself, felt the shame, felt the guilt, heard how I embarrassed my kids (and even my husband - who still didn't want me to stop). So now, I look ahead to a better life. I already look better. There are no puffy eyes, face or body - why does that happen anyway? I have so much energy. My metabolism is going back to being able to eat as much as I want, when I want and not gain weight - I've actually lost a pound. I'm interested in yoga again. I feel my brain is becoming more organized. I don't think about when I'm going to have my first drink of the day because I'm not going to have it. I feel joy for no special reason.
I know that all of my posts won't be so positive, but I hope most of them are. There will be stumbling blocks along the way - we are going to Italy in April and wine is my drink of choice. But I NEED a place to "talk" and I think this will be a good place.

Love, Kit

Just wanted to say hi to you Kit. Congrats on 14 days!!!

Your doing it just dont stop!!!!!!!!!

Kit you are doing well, keep it up just for today, doing it one day at a time is the way a lot of alcoholics stay sober, I know I can only do it one day at a time.

Hi Kit, sounds like you're onto a really good start. Like Taz says, one day at a time. Sounds simple but takes a bit of practice - and something I find really helpful. I look forward to 'listening' to your posts.

It took a loooong time for my wife to support my "not drinking" and I still think she wishes that I did. Some of my older posts from over a year ago show the lack of support I got from her... throwing my changes in my face and what not. She really made it hard, and still does sometimes. Just yesterday over a small bickerment (real word?) she threw in my face "YOUR JUST A DIFFERENT PERSON!!!!". So be it. Did she ever stop drinking in front of me every night?... nope. So be it. Do I talk to her about what I am doing?... rarely, because she doesn't want to hear about it. So be it.

Be happy you have a supportive husband and stay the track FOR YOU! I'm happy to hear you are feeling better!

Best Wishes

this is a great place to talk about it. you already have a good start. keep it up.

I'm glad you started a thread, Kit.

Congrats on 14 days. You are right about all the positive things about sobriety. I can honestly say that my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk. Many of us find it's best to just focus on "one day at a time".
I hope you'll stick with it, and stay with us.
chip

Way To Go Kit!
2 weeks is a good beginning.

:cheer

HI Kit,
congratulations on 14 days, that is pretty awesome!'
Other alcoholics have understood where my loved ones could not, they have been there and have empathy. I cannot expect a non alcoholic to really "get it", and it took a while for my loved ones to trust me again.
In my recovery program, Women For Sobriety, we say "The Past is gone forever, no longer I am a victim of my past"....we use the past as a guide map of what not to do, but we do not lash ourselves with it, nor do we "sit" in it.
A positive attitude to recovery has been vital to my sobriety, we have enough guilt and shame, we need no more, we need to move forward and grow.
Maya Angelou says " I did then, what I knew how to do, and, when I knew better, I did better".
Sobriety has been the best gift I have ever given myself, I have grown in so many ways, I now value myself and appreciate all that I have in life.

Come here to talk anytime, you can PM me if you like.

Seren



Welcome to Women For Sobriety, Inc.

Thank you so much for listening and your positive replies. I feel so good about being able to talk about my recovery. While my husband is doing this with me, I know it is only a matter of time before he goes back. His alcohoism is different from mine. He never appears drunk and doesn't behave stupid or badly. He also can pace himself. Therefore, he really could never understand why I couldn't stop after just one or why I got blackouts. He never thought I had a real problem, even though I said I did. I used to say, "Who on earth would say she's an alcoholic, if she really isn't?" Anyway, while I am feeling energetic and happy right now, he is feeling like he is coming down with something. I told him it might be withdrawel (he drank a half bottle of scotch or more, every night). He thinks that drinking actually prevents colds ("It kills the germs" - lol) and that he is probably getting sick because he hasn't been killing the germs. For somebody who is so smart, he is pretty dumb about this. I hope he can hold out until he starts feeling good.
I think the advice about taking it one day at a time is sound, however, I have always liked looking ahead to how things will be so much better in the future. It helps me. I bet there are other people like that as well. I love the quote from Lovingseren that said, "The past is gone forever, no longer am I a victim of the past." I hate dwelling on the bad old days because it makes me feel sad and negative.
Rimmy, your story is so much like mine! It is hard when you can't talk about your alcoholism with your partner. Even though my husband is doing this with me, he won't talk about it. Tanks again, everyone!!! I plan on cleaning the house top to bottom today, now that I have so much energy I'll do all of your houses too! How's that?
Love, Kit

Did you say you'll do our houses aswell... Yippee! Well, maybe I'm a bit far away... but anytime you're in the area you'll be very welcome!

I think the day at a time thing is more about not worrying too much about tomorrow, you know, those things you cannot change by sitting worrying about them? Theres enough to worry about in one day.

I look forward to things too. Looking forward to life cheers me up too. I'm looking forward to warmer weather for a start, but I'm still happy with today.

Great to hear how well you doing Kit, must be hard not to be able to talk with your hubby about it. I have gone through that with some mates of mine- and some family too. I find S.R a great place to share though- and get back positive info/help.
I am also a member of A.A too. It's already changing my life around. I have made sober friends - and it's always lovely to have a place to go to (the meetings) if im feeling alone etc. Had some terible news this week- but managed to stay focused and strong for my family because of the meetings, my H.P, friends in A.A. and S.R too. I wish you all the best :)

Yipeeeee! Last night my husband and I went to a birthday party at a bar. At first, I was mighty tempted, but did the old "order some food" trick and I was fine. Not a drink all night except water. It is interesting to watch people in a bar when you aren't drinking. There was a dance floor with a DJ and everybody was dancing. As the night progressed, people were making complete idiots of themselves. I'm sure I would have been one of them. I take joy in the fact that not only didn't I act badly, but I remember the night! Hahahahaha! Another interesting thing was that the friends I was with, are all "normal" drinkers. They could have just a couple of drinks, and then switch to water or soda, and maybe never even finish their alcohol. That never would have been the case with me. They asked me why I wasn't drinking, and I said I didn't want to because I don't handle alcohol well. I heard no arguments. It feels so good not to wonder, "What the heck did I do last night?" Another positive thing about not drinking. There are almost too many to count.

Love, Kit

Another victory for you Kit!
:hug:

Congratulations Kit - I can relate to your drinking pattern!

Be careful about the bar scene though. Early in my recovery, I could not bear to even look at a bar or liquor store while driving by in my car! I knew my triggers and was very careful. To this day (5 1/2 years sobriety), I do not go to St. Patrick's Day parties!

Take care and keep us posted.

Dave

Thanks Dave, I will be careful. I was certainly apprehensive about going to that bar, but it did work out. Today was my first day back at work after a week's vacation. I am such a better teacher without the alcohol haze! Those poor kids won't know what hit them. No more unorganized, layed back, easy teacher. The whip shall be cracked. LOL! No, I'll still be nice. I'm just feeling so darn good! I feel like I'm on a high. Is this natural? I don't want it to fade. Common sense says, it will. I'd be interested to know if anybody else experienced this in their first weeks of sobriety.

Again, thanks for listening, it helps so much.

Love, Kit

Thank you for this mighty work Kit!!!!!!!!!!

Keep up the good work Kit!
chip

Congrats on the sober time Kit!!!

Kit a lot of folks call it the "Pink Cloud"! What a beautiful place to be, experience in AA has shown that some folks can ride that pink cloud for a very long time, but one should always be aware that one can fall off of it sometimes, knowing that it can happen helps on to be ready for falling off.

There is a saying in AA "This to shall pass." Falling off that pink cloud is one of those times when one should realize that if they keep working at thier program that they will get through the bad time and hop back up on the pink cloud.

I guess what I am trying to say is that life sober has its ups (Pink Clouds) and its downs, and to stay sober we need to be aware that the bad times will pass if we stay sober and work the problem rather then try and drink it away.