OK I admit it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Thank you all so much for your support and suggestions. I will seriously consider AA and I will try to build up enough courage to get to a meeting. Reading about AA on this site is really helping me get an idea of what it is like. Much love to you all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Quito, Ecuador, South America
Posts: 17
Its actually, according to my experience, pretty confortable once you walk in and listen to some conversations. You will develop friendships and relations with people there rather quick and that allows you to open up and let things just flow.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: RI
Posts: 31
I found AA to be the easiest thing to do once I got the courage to just go. You just walk in, maybe someone near the door puts their hand out and says welcome. You don't have to say a thing because everyone there has been where you are, and some people there are walking in for the first time as well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
A lot of misconceptions I had about AA and the steps were formed after I'd gone to my first meeting. They were formed based on my interpretations of things I heard at AA meetings. Probably still have misconceptions. Before my first meeting I'd seen the "Birders Anonymous" Sylvester and Tweety cartoon, and at the rehab I was in they kept telling me I had to go to AA, and not much else.
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
Scary AA meetings... oooooOOOOOoooOOOooooOOOOoooo... The black robes and chalk marks on the floor are only weird until you sacrifice your first chicken... Then they show you the secret handshake and let you light the candles without the blindfold... Sure it feels a little odd standing there naked in front of complete strangers, but once the orgy starts, who cares?
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In all seriousness, I hear you on the "meeting fear"...
I was terrified the first time I went to an AA meeting... I had no idea what to expect, or what everyone there would think of me... I also thought, "Yep, this is the final thing, isn't it? Once I'm there I'm branded somehow... And 'exposed'... They're going to form a circle around me and start shouting and they'll not let up until I say I'm one of them... Its going to be some weird cult thing or something".
I think, more than anything, I was simply afraid of ME... And of others seeing how wretched I was.
I walked up to the building and just stood there... I didn't know anybody... They were all hanging out and talking and smiling, and it dawned on me that *everyone* knew that I was "the new guy", "fresh meat", someone that they hadn't seen before.
Or even worse, maybe some of them had seen me when I was out there, and they had been waiting for me.
I was terrified and I almost ran back to the car to leave. I felt so awkward, so out of place. It was a little surreal.
But I didn't leave even though all I felt like doing was running away as quickly as I could.
Instead I took a few breaths, and said a quick prayer, and resigned myself to whatever would happen.
By this time some people had noticed me. One guy put out his hand and introduced himself. He spoke very gently and kindly and with a lot of compassion in his eyes. He asked me if I was looking for an AA meeting... I nodded my head slightly and croaked "yeah"... I felt so low and so worthless, like I was a failed human being and this was just another type of gutter.
He said they were glad I had come and that they were about to start... I just stood there motionless feeling like I was standing on the edge of a knife... He paused, just looking at me... And then he gave me a little friendly slap on the back and said, "C'mon, let's go inside"...
And so we did...
It turned out he was the chairperson for that particular meeting.
I found a seat and sat there, head a little low, looking around, studying the room and the people... I saw the Serenity Prayer painted on the wall... I had heard it before but I didn't realize that it belonged to AA...
That alone, seeing it actually painted on the wall, calmed me a little, like God was telling me to relax... "You're among potential friends... No one here wants to hurt you... Calm down".
I looked at the people... I didn't see a bunch of slavering derelict "monsters"... Instead I saw people from all walks of life, smiling and joking and eager to start... I looked at eyes... Some were in pain... Some were light-hearted... Some were showing depth... Some of them were looking at me and slowly nodding their heads as if remembering something...
And then we started.
When I heard the Promises for the first time, the parts about "...those feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear... we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us...", I was amazed... I thought to myself, "HOW did they KNOW?!?!?!"
(I laugh about it now)...
To me, the placard on the desk, "You Are Not Alone", is *still* the most important slogan of AA, in my opinion.
The meeting continued... I thought to myself, "This is it? ... This is all there is to a meeting? ... Just people sitting around and talking about themselves? ... Well heck, I can handle *that*..."
About twenty or thirty minutes into it, I started to feel more comfortable. I started to actually listen instead of focusing on how freaked out I was... I noticed that many people were telling different parts of my very own story... These people understood... They knew something about the depths of despair and anguish and pain that I had known for they had been to those very same depths themselves...
And they had survived...
They had recovered...
They said they could show me how to climb out of those pits too, if only I was willing to *TRY*... They would help me and ask nothing in return for it...
They didn't promise that it would be easy... only that it would be *possible*... The hand was extended -- I had to take it and pull myself up, and they would help however they could.
That was the message I heard that first meeting... A message of hope and of a solution.
I knew that I had found a home.
I stood up and took a white chip that very meeting... By the Grace of God that very same white chip hasn't "expired" on me yet... Almost twenty months sober and each month life gets a little bit better, because *I* get a little bit better...
I still have my ups and downs, and sometimes life can throw some pretty wicked curve balls... But I'm facing them, and doing my best to deal with them... And no matter what, I will not drink over anything, (and boy, I've certainly had some "opportunities" and "excuses" along the way!).
I feel *alive* again... I feel *human* again... I feel like *myself* again...
"We are not a glum lot" -- it is so true.
"We absolutely insist on living a full and enriching life" -- otherwise what's the point?
"If it weren't better, I'd have put a gun to my head long ago" -- this is *reality* we're talking about...
As scary as the thought of going to AA might seem for you right now, believe me... AA *IS* the "easier and softer way"... As sure as the sun came up this morning, its many, many worlds better than what life was like before I joined.
By the Grace of God and the program of AA, I am alive today... And I don't just mean breathing and walking around... I mean *alive*!
You can be too.
You are not alone!
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In all seriousness, I hear you on the "meeting fear"...
I was terrified the first time I went to an AA meeting... I had no idea what to expect, or what everyone there would think of me... I also thought, "Yep, this is the final thing, isn't it? Once I'm there I'm branded somehow... And 'exposed'... They're going to form a circle around me and start shouting and they'll not let up until I say I'm one of them... Its going to be some weird cult thing or something".
I think, more than anything, I was simply afraid of ME... And of others seeing how wretched I was.
I walked up to the building and just stood there... I didn't know anybody... They were all hanging out and talking and smiling, and it dawned on me that *everyone* knew that I was "the new guy", "fresh meat", someone that they hadn't seen before.
Or even worse, maybe some of them had seen me when I was out there, and they had been waiting for me.
I was terrified and I almost ran back to the car to leave. I felt so awkward, so out of place. It was a little surreal.
But I didn't leave even though all I felt like doing was running away as quickly as I could.
Instead I took a few breaths, and said a quick prayer, and resigned myself to whatever would happen.
By this time some people had noticed me. One guy put out his hand and introduced himself. He spoke very gently and kindly and with a lot of compassion in his eyes. He asked me if I was looking for an AA meeting... I nodded my head slightly and croaked "yeah"... I felt so low and so worthless, like I was a failed human being and this was just another type of gutter.
He said they were glad I had come and that they were about to start... I just stood there motionless feeling like I was standing on the edge of a knife... He paused, just looking at me... And then he gave me a little friendly slap on the back and said, "C'mon, let's go inside"...
And so we did...
It turned out he was the chairperson for that particular meeting.
I found a seat and sat there, head a little low, looking around, studying the room and the people... I saw the Serenity Prayer painted on the wall... I had heard it before but I didn't realize that it belonged to AA...
That alone, seeing it actually painted on the wall, calmed me a little, like God was telling me to relax... "You're among potential friends... No one here wants to hurt you... Calm down".
I looked at the people... I didn't see a bunch of slavering derelict "monsters"... Instead I saw people from all walks of life, smiling and joking and eager to start... I looked at eyes... Some were in pain... Some were light-hearted... Some were showing depth... Some of them were looking at me and slowly nodding their heads as if remembering something...
And then we started.
When I heard the Promises for the first time, the parts about "...those feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear... we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us...", I was amazed... I thought to myself, "HOW did they KNOW?!?!?!"
(I laugh about it now)...
To me, the placard on the desk, "You Are Not Alone", is *still* the most important slogan of AA, in my opinion.
The meeting continued... I thought to myself, "This is it? ... This is all there is to a meeting? ... Just people sitting around and talking about themselves? ... Well heck, I can handle *that*..."
About twenty or thirty minutes into it, I started to feel more comfortable. I started to actually listen instead of focusing on how freaked out I was... I noticed that many people were telling different parts of my very own story... These people understood... They knew something about the depths of despair and anguish and pain that I had known for they had been to those very same depths themselves...
And they had survived...
They had recovered...
They said they could show me how to climb out of those pits too, if only I was willing to *TRY*... They would help me and ask nothing in return for it...
They didn't promise that it would be easy... only that it would be *possible*... The hand was extended -- I had to take it and pull myself up, and they would help however they could.
That was the message I heard that first meeting... A message of hope and of a solution.
I knew that I had found a home.
I stood up and took a white chip that very meeting... By the Grace of God that very same white chip hasn't "expired" on me yet... Almost twenty months sober and each month life gets a little bit better, because *I* get a little bit better...
I still have my ups and downs, and sometimes life can throw some pretty wicked curve balls... But I'm facing them, and doing my best to deal with them... And no matter what, I will not drink over anything, (and boy, I've certainly had some "opportunities" and "excuses" along the way!).
I feel *alive* again... I feel *human* again... I feel like *myself* again...
"We are not a glum lot" -- it is so true.
"We absolutely insist on living a full and enriching life" -- otherwise what's the point?
"If it weren't better, I'd have put a gun to my head long ago" -- this is *reality* we're talking about...
As scary as the thought of going to AA might seem for you right now, believe me... AA *IS* the "easier and softer way"... As sure as the sun came up this morning, its many, many worlds better than what life was like before I joined.
By the Grace of God and the program of AA, I am alive today... And I don't just mean breathing and walking around... I mean *alive*!
You can be too.
You are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Hi Felicia...
Welcome to SR... first of all, you are not weak -- you are sick. In AA, we learn that alcoholism is a disease, and that there is a common solution which will solve our problem...
That was the phrase that stuck out to me in your first post -- because I vividly remember thinking 'why am I so weak that I can't quit on my own?' I know now it's because I am an alcoholic, I am bodily and mentally different than my fellow man.
Don't be scared -- over the long haul, alcohol is way scarier than Alcoholics Anonymous. We will love you, alcohol will kill you. I pray that you will find the willingness to go to a meeting, and I am positive you will meet other women who will embrace you and help you along the amazing journey to recovery....
Ken
Welcome to SR... first of all, you are not weak -- you are sick. In AA, we learn that alcoholism is a disease, and that there is a common solution which will solve our problem...
That was the phrase that stuck out to me in your first post -- because I vividly remember thinking 'why am I so weak that I can't quit on my own?' I know now it's because I am an alcoholic, I am bodily and mentally different than my fellow man.
Don't be scared -- over the long haul, alcohol is way scarier than Alcoholics Anonymous. We will love you, alcohol will kill you. I pray that you will find the willingness to go to a meeting, and I am positive you will meet other women who will embrace you and help you along the amazing journey to recovery....
Ken
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: library
Posts: 131
Believe it or not, there are other ways to sobriety besides AA. Sometimes this board is so overwhelming by AA buffs that one thinks this is an AA site.
See your doctor. See a psychiatrist. Learn about the many other paths out there that can lead to success. (AA's track record is nothing to brag about.)
When I broke away from AA after gaining enough confidence that this program was totally insane for my personality, I was scared to death because of all the people who let me know what a failure I was going to be. That was in 2004.
Explore the many options out there. Maybe even develope your own program. The one thing I do need to stress, is that from my perspective, you DO NEED some support. Something to fall back on when trouble hits.
Good luck.
jane
See your doctor. See a psychiatrist. Learn about the many other paths out there that can lead to success. (AA's track record is nothing to brag about.)
When I broke away from AA after gaining enough confidence that this program was totally insane for my personality, I was scared to death because of all the people who let me know what a failure I was going to be. That was in 2004.
Explore the many options out there. Maybe even develope your own program. The one thing I do need to stress, is that from my perspective, you DO NEED some support. Something to fall back on when trouble hits.
Good luck.
jane
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Jane is correct, there are other programs, I will not knock them, I will make these few simple statements:
1. AA's track record for long term sobriety has actually gone down due to its early high rates of recovery for the followinig reasons:
A. Court ordered attendance to AA, people who get DUIs whether they are alcoholic or not must go to AA.
B. Detoxes and Rehabs send folks to AA who are not really wanting to get sober but thier families wanted them to.
C. Younger people come to AA to dry out for a while and then decide the party life is still out there and they are to young to not drink.
2. The program of AA has brought recovery to more alcoholics then all the other recovery programs throughout history combined.
Look people are going to share with you what worked for them, the vast majority of alcoholics who have found recovery have found it in AA, that is a undisputed fact.
Does the above fact mean that there are not other recovery programs out there that work? Absolutely not, there are other programs that work, the one thing that I love about AA is unlike any other program out there I can travel the world and there is hardly a single place in the world where I can not walk into an AA meeting and find friends who understand me and love and support me.
There are an awful lot of people who initially got sober using AA that have moved on to other things in life to maintain thier sobriety, the vast majority of them do not bite the hand that fed them, they acknowledge that it was AA that helped them stay sober long enough to find long term recovery through other means.
1. AA's track record for long term sobriety has actually gone down due to its early high rates of recovery for the followinig reasons:
A. Court ordered attendance to AA, people who get DUIs whether they are alcoholic or not must go to AA.
B. Detoxes and Rehabs send folks to AA who are not really wanting to get sober but thier families wanted them to.
C. Younger people come to AA to dry out for a while and then decide the party life is still out there and they are to young to not drink.
2. The program of AA has brought recovery to more alcoholics then all the other recovery programs throughout history combined.
Look people are going to share with you what worked for them, the vast majority of alcoholics who have found recovery have found it in AA, that is a undisputed fact.
Does the above fact mean that there are not other recovery programs out there that work? Absolutely not, there are other programs that work, the one thing that I love about AA is unlike any other program out there I can travel the world and there is hardly a single place in the world where I can not walk into an AA meeting and find friends who understand me and love and support me.
There are an awful lot of people who initially got sober using AA that have moved on to other things in life to maintain thier sobriety, the vast majority of them do not bite the hand that fed them, they acknowledge that it was AA that helped them stay sober long enough to find long term recovery through other means.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
Taz, I was wondering where you got the statisitcs for the following statements...I would love to read them if you could post the links..thanks
The program of AA has brought recovery to more alcoholics then all the other recovery programs throughout history combined.
Look people are going to share with you what worked for them, the vast majority of alcoholics who have found recovery have found it in AA, that is a undisputed fact.
The program of AA has brought recovery to more alcoholics then all the other recovery programs throughout history combined.
Look people are going to share with you what worked for them, the vast majority of alcoholics who have found recovery have found it in AA, that is a undisputed fact.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Bugs why don't you do a survey here?
I have done the research, the one thing I did find when doing it was that one really needs to watch the sources of the stats.
Asking yourself some obvious questions should provide some obvious answers.
What long term recovery program do most rehabs and detoxes suggest and why?
What long term recovery program do most courts suggest and why?
If there were programs with substantially higher recovery rates common sense would tell one that they would get all kinds of press and be world wide and the membership of AA would be shrinking instead of growing right?
Why would millionare celebraties with money to burn use AA for thier long term recovery since money is not a factor in thier recovery? (If I had the money these folks have and I wanted to stay sober I would go with the best I could find no matter how much it cost)
Like I have said a thousand times, there are other programs out there that work.
I will not critisize them because they work for other people.
I damn sure will not critsize the hand that feeds me and has saved my life.
We all know that no program will work for anyone who does not work the program.
I have done the research, the one thing I did find when doing it was that one really needs to watch the sources of the stats.
Asking yourself some obvious questions should provide some obvious answers.
What long term recovery program do most rehabs and detoxes suggest and why?
What long term recovery program do most courts suggest and why?
If there were programs with substantially higher recovery rates common sense would tell one that they would get all kinds of press and be world wide and the membership of AA would be shrinking instead of growing right?
Why would millionare celebraties with money to burn use AA for thier long term recovery since money is not a factor in thier recovery? (If I had the money these folks have and I wanted to stay sober I would go with the best I could find no matter how much it cost)
Like I have said a thousand times, there are other programs out there that work.
I will not critisize them because they work for other people.
I damn sure will not critsize the hand that feeds me and has saved my life.
We all know that no program will work for anyone who does not work the program.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
Taz...doing a survey here?? a bit bias don't you think?
I agree about watching the source of the stats, I was curious where you got yours.
Indeed the membership of aa is growing, but its sucess rates are not. We have discussed that here at SR.
I was hoping you could provide some evidence to support your claims. No worries!
I agree about watching the source of the stats, I was curious where you got yours.
Indeed the membership of aa is growing, but its sucess rates are not. We have discussed that here at SR.
I was hoping you could provide some evidence to support your claims. No worries!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Perhaps bugs you could answer the questions I posed. Call me lazy or what you wish, but if you wish to dispute my stats do as I did and do the research, I garauntee you will not be able to cotradict my statements, I do not feel like researching again what I already did.
Bias????? I was not aware this was an AA site. The only bias would be the truth.
Taz...doing a survey here?? a bit bias don't you think?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,002
Accurate surveys on success of sobriety in AA are not very accurate because of anonymity. Plus, I have never seen anyone or been asked by anyone to partake in a survey on the success of my soberiety in AA.
All I know is that there are many meetings in many locations all over the world.
Tom
All I know is that there are many meetings in many locations all over the world.
Tom
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Newton Iowa
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by GreenTea 
Scary AA meetings... oooooOOOOOoooOOOooooOOOOoooo... The black robes and chalk marks on the floor are only weird until you sacrifice your first chicken... Then they show you the secret handshake and let you light the candles without the blindfold... Sure it feels a little odd standing there naked in front of complete strangers, but once the orgy starts, who cares?
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In all seriousness, I hear you on the "meeting fear"...
I was terrified the first time I went to an AA meeting... I had no idea what to expect, or what everyone there would think of me... I also thought, "Yep, this is the final thing, isn't it? Once I'm there I'm branded somehow... And 'exposed'... They're going to form a circle around me and start shouting and they'll not let up until I say I'm one of them... Its going to be some weird cult thing or something".
I think, more than anything, I was simply afraid of ME... And of others seeing how wretched I was.
I walked up to the building and just stood there... I didn't know anybody... They were all hanging out and talking and smiling, and it dawned on me that *everyone* knew that I was "the new guy", "fresh meat", someone that they hadn't seen before.
Or even worse, maybe some of them had seen me when I was out there, and they had been waiting for me.
I was terrified and I almost ran back to the car to leave. I felt so awkward, so out of place. It was a little surreal.
But I didn't leave even though all I felt like doing was running away as quickly as I could.
Instead I took a few breaths, and said a quick prayer, and resigned myself to whatever would happen.
By this time some people had noticed me. One guy put out his hand and introduced himself. He spoke very gently and kindly and with a lot of compassion in his eyes. He asked me if I was looking for an AA meeting... I nodded my head slightly and croaked "yeah"... I felt so low and so worthless, like I was a failed human being and this was just another type of gutter.
He said they were glad I had come and that they were about to start... I just stood there motionless feeling like I was standing on the edge of a knife... He paused, just looking at me... And then he gave me a little friendly slap on the back and said, "C'mon, let's go inside"...
And so we did...
It turned out he was the chairperson for that particular meeting.
I found a seat and sat there, head a little low, looking around, studying the room and the people... I saw the Serenity Prayer painted on the wall... I had heard it before but I didn't realize that it belonged to AA...
That alone, seeing it actually painted on the wall, calmed me a little, like God was telling me to relax... "You're among potential friends... No one here wants to hurt you... Calm down".
I looked at the people... I didn't see a bunch of slavering derelict "monsters"... Instead I saw people from all walks of life, smiling and joking and eager to start... I looked at eyes... Some were in pain... Some were light-hearted... Some were showing depth... Some of them were looking at me and slowly nodding their heads as if remembering something...
And then we started.
When I heard the Promises for the first time, the parts about "...those feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear... we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us...", I was amazed... I thought to myself, "HOW did they KNOW?!?!?!"
(I laugh about it now)...
To me, the placard on the desk, "You Are Not Alone", is *still* the most important slogan of AA, in my opinion.
The meeting continued... I thought to myself, "This is it? ... This is all there is to a meeting? ... Just people sitting around and talking about themselves? ... Well heck, I can handle *that*..."
About twenty or thirty minutes into it, I started to feel more comfortable. I started to actually listen instead of focusing on how freaked out I was... I noticed that many people were telling different parts of my very own story... These people understood... They knew something about the depths of despair and anguish and pain that I had known for they had been to those very same depths themselves...
And they had survived...
They had recovered...
They said they could show me how to climb out of those pits too, if only I was willing to *TRY*... They would help me and ask nothing in return for it...
They didn't promise that it would be easy... only that it would be *possible*... The hand was extended -- I had to take it and pull myself up, and they would help however they could.
That was the message I heard that first meeting... A message of hope and of a solution.
I knew that I had found a home.
I stood up and took a white chip that very meeting... By the Grace of God that very same white chip hasn't "expired" on me yet... Almost twenty months sober and each month life gets a little bit better, because *I* get a little bit better...
I still have my ups and downs, and sometimes life can throw some pretty wicked curve balls... But I'm facing them, and doing my best to deal with them... And no matter what, I will not drink over anything, (and boy, I've certainly had some "opportunities" and "excuses" along the way!).
I feel *alive* again... I feel *human* again... I feel like *myself* again...
"We are not a glum lot" -- it is so true.
"We absolutely insist on living a full and enriching life" -- otherwise what's the point?
"If it weren't better, I'd have put a gun to my head long ago" -- this is *reality* we're talking about...
As scary as the thought of going to AA might seem for you right now, believe me... AA *IS* the "easier and softer way"... As sure as the sun came up this morning, its many, many worlds better than what life was like before I joined.
By the Grace of God and the program of AA, I am alive today... And I don't just mean breathing and walking around... I mean *alive*!
You can be too.
You are not alone!
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In all seriousness, I hear you on the "meeting fear"...
I was terrified the first time I went to an AA meeting... I had no idea what to expect, or what everyone there would think of me... I also thought, "Yep, this is the final thing, isn't it? Once I'm there I'm branded somehow... And 'exposed'... They're going to form a circle around me and start shouting and they'll not let up until I say I'm one of them... Its going to be some weird cult thing or something".
I think, more than anything, I was simply afraid of ME... And of others seeing how wretched I was.
I walked up to the building and just stood there... I didn't know anybody... They were all hanging out and talking and smiling, and it dawned on me that *everyone* knew that I was "the new guy", "fresh meat", someone that they hadn't seen before.
Or even worse, maybe some of them had seen me when I was out there, and they had been waiting for me.
I was terrified and I almost ran back to the car to leave. I felt so awkward, so out of place. It was a little surreal.
But I didn't leave even though all I felt like doing was running away as quickly as I could.
Instead I took a few breaths, and said a quick prayer, and resigned myself to whatever would happen.
By this time some people had noticed me. One guy put out his hand and introduced himself. He spoke very gently and kindly and with a lot of compassion in his eyes. He asked me if I was looking for an AA meeting... I nodded my head slightly and croaked "yeah"... I felt so low and so worthless, like I was a failed human being and this was just another type of gutter.
He said they were glad I had come and that they were about to start... I just stood there motionless feeling like I was standing on the edge of a knife... He paused, just looking at me... And then he gave me a little friendly slap on the back and said, "C'mon, let's go inside"...
And so we did...
It turned out he was the chairperson for that particular meeting.
I found a seat and sat there, head a little low, looking around, studying the room and the people... I saw the Serenity Prayer painted on the wall... I had heard it before but I didn't realize that it belonged to AA...
That alone, seeing it actually painted on the wall, calmed me a little, like God was telling me to relax... "You're among potential friends... No one here wants to hurt you... Calm down".
I looked at the people... I didn't see a bunch of slavering derelict "monsters"... Instead I saw people from all walks of life, smiling and joking and eager to start... I looked at eyes... Some were in pain... Some were light-hearted... Some were showing depth... Some of them were looking at me and slowly nodding their heads as if remembering something...
And then we started.
When I heard the Promises for the first time, the parts about "...those feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear... we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us...", I was amazed... I thought to myself, "HOW did they KNOW?!?!?!"
(I laugh about it now)...
To me, the placard on the desk, "You Are Not Alone", is *still* the most important slogan of AA, in my opinion.
The meeting continued... I thought to myself, "This is it? ... This is all there is to a meeting? ... Just people sitting around and talking about themselves? ... Well heck, I can handle *that*..."
About twenty or thirty minutes into it, I started to feel more comfortable. I started to actually listen instead of focusing on how freaked out I was... I noticed that many people were telling different parts of my very own story... These people understood... They knew something about the depths of despair and anguish and pain that I had known for they had been to those very same depths themselves...
And they had survived...
They had recovered...
They said they could show me how to climb out of those pits too, if only I was willing to *TRY*... They would help me and ask nothing in return for it...
They didn't promise that it would be easy... only that it would be *possible*... The hand was extended -- I had to take it and pull myself up, and they would help however they could.
That was the message I heard that first meeting... A message of hope and of a solution.
I knew that I had found a home.
I stood up and took a white chip that very meeting... By the Grace of God that very same white chip hasn't "expired" on me yet... Almost twenty months sober and each month life gets a little bit better, because *I* get a little bit better...
I still have my ups and downs, and sometimes life can throw some pretty wicked curve balls... But I'm facing them, and doing my best to deal with them... And no matter what, I will not drink over anything, (and boy, I've certainly had some "opportunities" and "excuses" along the way!).
I feel *alive* again... I feel *human* again... I feel like *myself* again...
"We are not a glum lot" -- it is so true.
"We absolutely insist on living a full and enriching life" -- otherwise what's the point?
"If it weren't better, I'd have put a gun to my head long ago" -- this is *reality* we're talking about...
As scary as the thought of going to AA might seem for you right now, believe me... AA *IS* the "easier and softer way"... As sure as the sun came up this morning, its many, many worlds better than what life was like before I joined.
By the Grace of God and the program of AA, I am alive today... And I don't just mean breathing and walking around... I mean *alive*!
You can be too.
You are not alone!
I want to thank you Green Tea! This made my day!
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Right here somewhere
Posts: 509
Orgy? At my first meeting, all we got to do was "look" at each others nekkedness.
Dang...
Seriously....AA meetings are just full of drunks, so if you are one, you will be at home.
Dont lose anymore of your life to this disease....you ARE worth it!
Dang...
Seriously....AA meetings are just full of drunks, so if you are one, you will be at home.
Dont lose anymore of your life to this disease....you ARE worth it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
you ARE worth it!
I have never heard of a different program other than AA, and from what I've read it sounds like it has helped a lot of ppl so I will give it a shot. I just don't have the energy to search for something else and plus I haven't been good lately at reasoning things through (like thoughts, emotions) think I have brain damage.
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
Hi Felly;
This is my 'whatever' time around getting sober again. I SWORE I wasn't going back to AA for a million reasons. Bottom line...I hate it! It sucks, everyone there sucks...etc., etc.. BUT....yes..BUT....I changed my mind. Why? Because 'my way' wasn't working. Simple determination wasn't enough to keep me sober. I was posting that I would do 'anything' to stay sober. And kept falling off the wagon. And I thought 'anything' includes AA. If that will keep me sober, then I'm going.
Don't you feel the same? If you were desperate to get sober.... and so many told you that it would keep you sober....wouldn't you be willing to give it a try?
It really does depend on how desperate you are to get/stay sober. For me, I had no choice anymore. My life was unmanagable on my own. I had to make a choice. Do I want sobriety or not? That simple. If the answer is 'yes'....then I'll do anything.
And you don't have to say a thing at the meetings. You don't even have to say you're an alcoholic. When it comes your turn to speak, you can just say, "I'm here to listen".
All the best.
Tay.
This is my 'whatever' time around getting sober again. I SWORE I wasn't going back to AA for a million reasons. Bottom line...I hate it! It sucks, everyone there sucks...etc., etc.. BUT....yes..BUT....I changed my mind. Why? Because 'my way' wasn't working. Simple determination wasn't enough to keep me sober. I was posting that I would do 'anything' to stay sober. And kept falling off the wagon. And I thought 'anything' includes AA. If that will keep me sober, then I'm going.
Don't you feel the same? If you were desperate to get sober.... and so many told you that it would keep you sober....wouldn't you be willing to give it a try?
It really does depend on how desperate you are to get/stay sober. For me, I had no choice anymore. My life was unmanagable on my own. I had to make a choice. Do I want sobriety or not? That simple. If the answer is 'yes'....then I'll do anything.
And you don't have to say a thing at the meetings. You don't even have to say you're an alcoholic. When it comes your turn to speak, you can just say, "I'm here to listen".
All the best.
Tay.
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
(Heard from an oldtimer)... "You need to go out and work on your story some more -- you aren't ready to get sober yet"...
AA works for me (as supplemented by SR and regular service work). Its exactly what I needed, and I don't think anything else would have worked for me at the time. Certainly not anything that condoned "moderation".
Remember the progressive nature of what we're talking about. Pick ten different people and you'll find ten different places in the progression.
For me, AA is what I need. Its what works. It was instrumental in re-establishing a relationship with my HP, which is at the heart of my recovery. "A daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition". It also got me to take a long look at myself, to see the internal conflicts and hypocracy and to start doing something about it.
You mileage may vary depending on where you are in your progression. I don't claim that "AA is the only way". I only claim that it was the only way for me.
I would also question the "time scope" of the statistics. How is "permanent recovery" being defined? (Note that I did not say "permanent sobriety"). Do the statistics only consider five years? Ten? ... What about *lifetime*?
I would hazard a guess and say that AA probably has the best record for "permanant *lifetime* recovery". If you take the program seriously, and work it seriously, a whole new world opens up to you. Can other programs say the same? ... Do other programs "cling to remnants" of what got you seeking recovery to begin with?
I don't want to go back to that old life... For me, even a "little bit of h#ll" is too much.
Cunning, baffling and powerful... And the progression is insidious, pervasive and it never sleeps.
AA works for me (as supplemented by SR and regular service work). Its exactly what I needed, and I don't think anything else would have worked for me at the time. Certainly not anything that condoned "moderation".
Remember the progressive nature of what we're talking about. Pick ten different people and you'll find ten different places in the progression.
For me, AA is what I need. Its what works. It was instrumental in re-establishing a relationship with my HP, which is at the heart of my recovery. "A daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition". It also got me to take a long look at myself, to see the internal conflicts and hypocracy and to start doing something about it.
You mileage may vary depending on where you are in your progression. I don't claim that "AA is the only way". I only claim that it was the only way for me.
I would also question the "time scope" of the statistics. How is "permanent recovery" being defined? (Note that I did not say "permanent sobriety"). Do the statistics only consider five years? Ten? ... What about *lifetime*?
I would hazard a guess and say that AA probably has the best record for "permanant *lifetime* recovery". If you take the program seriously, and work it seriously, a whole new world opens up to you. Can other programs say the same? ... Do other programs "cling to remnants" of what got you seeking recovery to begin with?
I don't want to go back to that old life... For me, even a "little bit of h#ll" is too much.
Cunning, baffling and powerful... And the progression is insidious, pervasive and it never sleeps.
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