When does it all stop?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Middle of Nowhere, USA
Posts: 210
When does it all stop?
Hi,
I have been writing on here for quite awhile now. I know alot of people doubt my willingness to recover because I've been going back and forth in denial about what my problem is, not wanting to admit it. Yesterday I was about ready to give up on myself, to give up on trying to be sober because I didn't think I could do it. I was stuck inbetween thinking "I can still drink responsibly because I'm not an acoholic, I just tend to abuse it. and I need to stop all together, this is causing me problems that I don't want." Well, last night I was put into my trigger situation. My "friend" Aaron and my friend Jennie came over and we all went to the meeting and then went out and go trashed afterwards. That was the plan from the minute we left. Aaron called me up earlier this week and asked me if I was going to the meeting last night. I said yeah...and he said...cool, wanna like, go to the meeting then go get smashed afterwards? I kinda laughed at the irony of that and then kinda blew him off. But sure enough when last night rolled around, I was scared to death because I was scared of what might happen. Exactly what I was afraid of came true. We went down into the smoking area within like 20 minutes of the start of the meeting (Where you can't really even hear the speaker talking) and then ended up leaving before the meeting was even over. Well, we went on a beer run and I ended up getting 2 40's. I sat out on this picnic table drinking with Aaron, Jennie and Aaron's friend who I'll never remember his name. But, I don't know what exactly happened. I just kinda shut my brain onto autopiolet and didn't think about anything. Well, when his happens I"m destined to end the night vomiting, passed out and Dave (my b/f I live with) pissed at me. Well, I remember making Jennie stop the car on two occasions to puke, I woke up this morning wearing my pajamas and I have no idea how I got them on and Dave is gone. I have no idea when he left, where he went or when he'll be back. I'm really worried he's gonna just toss my drunk ass out onto the street and break up with me. I'm so scared....I want to be sober but I just can't seem to do it. I go to the meetings and try to talk to people but it's always like everyone already has everything under control, and they assume I do because I've been going to the meetings for 6 months now. My b/f's friends were supposed to come over last night and I have no clue if they did. I hate this feeling, I'm so confused about everything right now. I need to stop. I really need to stop drinking all-together. I've been Very reluctant to give it up compleatly but I can see, that's the only option for me. Stop drinking or lose my b/f and move back with my parents and be a hopeless drunk for the rest of my life. I need to get some balls and get a sponseror. I need to talk to someone at the meetings one on one and just spill my guts to them. I just wish I could do that. I thought about going to the meeting tonight with the small tables so it's a smaller group you talk to and just lay it out on the table ya know? Only problem with doing that is I know I'm gonna cry. And that's embarrassing. I know that I'm so tired of trying only to fail that I am just at a loss about what to do here. Maybe that's what I need to do. Back in the beginning I made and oath to myself that I wouldn't speak at the meetings (I'm deathly afraid of public speaking) until I hit 30 days sober. Well, that method isn't exactly working because I feel alienated at the meetings and I feel like there is no one who wants to listen to me let alone try to help me. Everyone just seems so self-indulged in their own problems that I can't imagine someone caring enought o hear stupid me blabber about how I can't seem to stop. I had all but given up hope last night. I can't believe that really, I gave up trying to quit and it got me passed out on my kitchen floor and now my b/f's gone and I don't know where he is. I guess maybe I can just like 'give myself homework" or something, make it my duty to have a sponseror by the end of the week or something, maybe that would work. I just need to open my damn mouth and speak. It just seems like everytime I try to talk to someone, I just back out because they've got this like....if you're still drinking and you haven't "found" the program, what a loser are you!" hehe, that's probrably just in my mind but...still, it makes me scared to admit that I'm still drinking after 6 months of coming to the meetings. I guess I don't really have an option either, I have to admit the truth to get any sort of help. I've been becoming quite anxious and wish that I could check myself into rehab or something if it didn't cost so damn much. But at the same time my brain is like...you don't need that, you dn't have That much of a problem, you can do this on your own. Maybe I should just call and see how much it costs...? I just wish I could "remove" myself from my world for awhile ya know? I wish I could go somewhere that I could admit that I can't stop, to someone...to anyone! I feel like I've set myself up the past 6 months going to AA and everyone assuming "I've gotten sober." when in truth, I'm at the end of a very desperate rope begging for help. I don't know...any tips anyone has would be greatly appreciated. Now I'm stuck sitting here wondering where my b/f is at and when he's coming home when if i wouldn't have been blacked out last night, I'm sure I'd remember. Damn me. I was doing so well too, Dave and I I mean, he was really starting to believe that I was going to quit. He has like no faith in me, I've lied to him so many time I can't blame really. I wouldn't belive me either. But that leaves no one to belive in me, everyone thinks I'm going to fail because that's what I'm best at. Any advice here would be great....Thank you.
I have been writing on here for quite awhile now. I know alot of people doubt my willingness to recover because I've been going back and forth in denial about what my problem is, not wanting to admit it. Yesterday I was about ready to give up on myself, to give up on trying to be sober because I didn't think I could do it. I was stuck inbetween thinking "I can still drink responsibly because I'm not an acoholic, I just tend to abuse it. and I need to stop all together, this is causing me problems that I don't want." Well, last night I was put into my trigger situation. My "friend" Aaron and my friend Jennie came over and we all went to the meeting and then went out and go trashed afterwards. That was the plan from the minute we left. Aaron called me up earlier this week and asked me if I was going to the meeting last night. I said yeah...and he said...cool, wanna like, go to the meeting then go get smashed afterwards? I kinda laughed at the irony of that and then kinda blew him off. But sure enough when last night rolled around, I was scared to death because I was scared of what might happen. Exactly what I was afraid of came true. We went down into the smoking area within like 20 minutes of the start of the meeting (Where you can't really even hear the speaker talking) and then ended up leaving before the meeting was even over. Well, we went on a beer run and I ended up getting 2 40's. I sat out on this picnic table drinking with Aaron, Jennie and Aaron's friend who I'll never remember his name. But, I don't know what exactly happened. I just kinda shut my brain onto autopiolet and didn't think about anything. Well, when his happens I"m destined to end the night vomiting, passed out and Dave (my b/f I live with) pissed at me. Well, I remember making Jennie stop the car on two occasions to puke, I woke up this morning wearing my pajamas and I have no idea how I got them on and Dave is gone. I have no idea when he left, where he went or when he'll be back. I'm really worried he's gonna just toss my drunk ass out onto the street and break up with me. I'm so scared....I want to be sober but I just can't seem to do it. I go to the meetings and try to talk to people but it's always like everyone already has everything under control, and they assume I do because I've been going to the meetings for 6 months now. My b/f's friends were supposed to come over last night and I have no clue if they did. I hate this feeling, I'm so confused about everything right now. I need to stop. I really need to stop drinking all-together. I've been Very reluctant to give it up compleatly but I can see, that's the only option for me. Stop drinking or lose my b/f and move back with my parents and be a hopeless drunk for the rest of my life. I need to get some balls and get a sponseror. I need to talk to someone at the meetings one on one and just spill my guts to them. I just wish I could do that. I thought about going to the meeting tonight with the small tables so it's a smaller group you talk to and just lay it out on the table ya know? Only problem with doing that is I know I'm gonna cry. And that's embarrassing. I know that I'm so tired of trying only to fail that I am just at a loss about what to do here. Maybe that's what I need to do. Back in the beginning I made and oath to myself that I wouldn't speak at the meetings (I'm deathly afraid of public speaking) until I hit 30 days sober. Well, that method isn't exactly working because I feel alienated at the meetings and I feel like there is no one who wants to listen to me let alone try to help me. Everyone just seems so self-indulged in their own problems that I can't imagine someone caring enought o hear stupid me blabber about how I can't seem to stop. I had all but given up hope last night. I can't believe that really, I gave up trying to quit and it got me passed out on my kitchen floor and now my b/f's gone and I don't know where he is. I guess maybe I can just like 'give myself homework" or something, make it my duty to have a sponseror by the end of the week or something, maybe that would work. I just need to open my damn mouth and speak. It just seems like everytime I try to talk to someone, I just back out because they've got this like....if you're still drinking and you haven't "found" the program, what a loser are you!" hehe, that's probrably just in my mind but...still, it makes me scared to admit that I'm still drinking after 6 months of coming to the meetings. I guess I don't really have an option either, I have to admit the truth to get any sort of help. I've been becoming quite anxious and wish that I could check myself into rehab or something if it didn't cost so damn much. But at the same time my brain is like...you don't need that, you dn't have That much of a problem, you can do this on your own. Maybe I should just call and see how much it costs...? I just wish I could "remove" myself from my world for awhile ya know? I wish I could go somewhere that I could admit that I can't stop, to someone...to anyone! I feel like I've set myself up the past 6 months going to AA and everyone assuming "I've gotten sober." when in truth, I'm at the end of a very desperate rope begging for help. I don't know...any tips anyone has would be greatly appreciated. Now I'm stuck sitting here wondering where my b/f is at and when he's coming home when if i wouldn't have been blacked out last night, I'm sure I'd remember. Damn me. I was doing so well too, Dave and I I mean, he was really starting to believe that I was going to quit. He has like no faith in me, I've lied to him so many time I can't blame really. I wouldn't belive me either. But that leaves no one to belive in me, everyone thinks I'm going to fail because that's what I'm best at. Any advice here would be great....Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 610
Hi Stacey,
I'm glad you came here to get all of this out. As for advice, I can't give you any, but I can reflect what you're saying back to you and relate.
"It just seems like everytime I try to talk to someone, I just back out because they've got this like....if you're still drinking and you haven't "found" the program, what a loser are you!" hehe, that's probrably just in my mind..."
I assume similar things myself sometimes, but I often find that I'm far from accurate at reading people's minds.
I've just been wondering lately, how many people actually have it all figured out? None that I know of. I would think that people who have it figured out would not be turning up at meetings. The way I see it, we're all learning all the time.
"I need to talk to someone at the meetings one on one and just spill my guts to them..."
This is really helpful for me. I almost always choose a female to talk with, usually my sponsor. Relating is a lot easier and less messy emotions to deal with.
Good luck with checking out rehabs, maybe someone here can help you out with that more than I can.
Amy
I'm glad you came here to get all of this out. As for advice, I can't give you any, but I can reflect what you're saying back to you and relate.
"It just seems like everytime I try to talk to someone, I just back out because they've got this like....if you're still drinking and you haven't "found" the program, what a loser are you!" hehe, that's probrably just in my mind..."
I assume similar things myself sometimes, but I often find that I'm far from accurate at reading people's minds.
I've just been wondering lately, how many people actually have it all figured out? None that I know of. I would think that people who have it figured out would not be turning up at meetings. The way I see it, we're all learning all the time.
"I need to talk to someone at the meetings one on one and just spill my guts to them..."
This is really helpful for me. I almost always choose a female to talk with, usually my sponsor. Relating is a lot easier and less messy emotions to deal with.
Good luck with checking out rehabs, maybe someone here can help you out with that more than I can.
Amy
Greatful Sober Biker
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Cottonwood AZ.
Posts: 521
Hey Stacey You need to change people places and things. If you know your so called friends they wouldn't have had you go out drinking with them and I don't know if you have a sponcer but you need to get oneand stay away from the booze.
Be Cool
BikerBill8
Be Cool
BikerBill8
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Stacey
I tried for a long time before I finally found sobriety.
Please keep going to meetings....staaying inside works better.
You can do this...(+) (+) (+) Hugs and Prayers
Please keep going to meetings....staaying inside works better.
You can do this...(+) (+) (+) Hugs and Prayers
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hey Stacey,
Wow do you have the guilties! This is normal. Your just having a hard time staying sober the plus to this is you ARE trying, maybe not whole heartidly, but in my opinion trying a little is better then tossing in the towel to your disease.
Sweety you CAN NOT drink! Period! Don't let those thoughts of "maybe ... " they only get you were you ended up last night.
Keep going to meetings! PLEASE try to find a sponser, and like Bill said maybe you should re-think your friends.
Don't give up !
Wow do you have the guilties! This is normal. Your just having a hard time staying sober the plus to this is you ARE trying, maybe not whole heartidly, but in my opinion trying a little is better then tossing in the towel to your disease.
Sweety you CAN NOT drink! Period! Don't let those thoughts of "maybe ... " they only get you were you ended up last night.
Keep going to meetings! PLEASE try to find a sponser, and like Bill said maybe you should re-think your friends.
Don't give up !
we're all mad here!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Hi Stacey,
Like everyone else has said.... You CANNOT DRINK! You've proved it to yourself over and over again. Like Bill said, you need to change people, places, and things.
But, like Chy said, you are trying. Don't toss yourself away for stumbling.
Like DB said... I think that that quote pretty much sums it up.
We are all learning all the time. Now be easy on yourself but don't drink!
Like everyone else has said.... You CANNOT DRINK! You've proved it to yourself over and over again. Like Bill said, you need to change people, places, and things.
But, like Chy said, you are trying. Don't toss yourself away for stumbling.
Like DB said...
I've just been wondering lately, how many people actually have it all figured out? None that I know of. I would think that people who have it figured out would not be turning up at meetings. The way I see it, we're all learning all the time.
We are all learning all the time. Now be easy on yourself but don't drink!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Middle of Nowhere, USA
Posts: 210
New Day...New Me.
Well, it's now the next night. Things went ok...Dave came home not long after that. He went drinking with his friends, something he hasn't done in months because he's been trying to help me. He wasn't even upset....just kinda...a big sigh I guess.... He said he could tell it was coming by the way I talked so he wasn't all that surprized. But, we hung out all day and I took a bike ride by myself tonight to try and clear my head. I missed the meetings today because I was with Dave but I'll be going to 2 tomarrow. I am willing to do whatever it takes. I can't just keep sitting here thinking about all the "good times" I'm "missing out on" not drinking. I know I need to stay away from Jenny and Aaron. And I made a goal to myself to have a sponseror by next week at this time. So, I'm going to hit meetings everyday and talk to people no matter what. I'm going to be honest with them and say, I got trashed the other night, I need help...can you help me. So...I know it's not going to be easy but it's what I need to do. I can't keep going like this...I can't keep giving in and slipping. I feel horrible about myself in the morning and I like being sober so much better. So...you guys are so right, I'm going to keep trying. I told Dave I'm going to do 30 days and get that damn coin if it kills me, starting with today. I will make it, I know I can. Thank again for the support, it really means the world to me.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Apologize for the delay was out of town and not by a computer.
Was thinking of you, and glad to see things are better for you. I applaud your determination, am rooting for you on that 30 day chip. YOU CAN DO THIS! How many days is it already? *S*
Was thinking of you, and glad to see things are better for you. I applaud your determination, am rooting for you on that 30 day chip. YOU CAN DO THIS! How many days is it already? *S*
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Beverly Hills, FL
Posts: 8
SERIOUS STUDY
Are you interested in receiving the Steps? My experience is that the Steps cannot be "worked" or "done". They must be received, and since They come from Sanity, They can only be given BY the Sane.
Are you interested in a serious study of your own inner worlds?
I wrote some STEP JOURNALS. They will challenge your willingness to redirect your power away from self-destruction, to recovery. Does this sound like something in which you are interested?
Are you interested in a serious study of your own inner worlds?
I wrote some STEP JOURNALS. They will challenge your willingness to redirect your power away from self-destruction, to recovery. Does this sound like something in which you are interested?
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: phoenix, az
Posts: 41
Who do you think you are? Are you impying that you are better than all of us and since you are the only SANE one, only YOU can help us through the steps? This is the role of a sponsor. Are you a sponsor? And if so, what sort of sponsor ARE you?? I saw from an earlier post that you have been sober since 1985. So when do you feel someone has become sane? How long does it take? I may have interpreted your post wrong, I don't know.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
True,
Am sure your intetions are meant well but we sometimes misinterpret posts.
I must say by the grace of my HP however, he has given me the direction to find AA and the 12 step program. He has guided me to this new way of life and it's up to me to WORK the steps. What good would it be if it was simply "received" as you put it. Correct me if I am wrong it's up to us to redirect our old behaviors and this takes work on our part. I beg to differ the SANE are the only ones to receive. My God, we all were insane in out behavior! Is anyone ever truly sane in all aspects? This statement of yours confuses me. If only the sane recieve, then what would be the point of our Higher Powers directing us to a new way of life? How then would the insane become sane?
Forgive me, but I just don't understand your point of view and maybe you can better clarify it for me. If the sponser we have were not insane at first they are sane now? They too are working the program.
Thy will be done. God's will for me. He has shown me what must be DONE in order to recover successfully. So for me I must work my steps. For I know in life nothing worth having is ever handed out on a silver platter or "recieved".
Again, I may have misinterpretted your post, but those are my thoughts. And I apologize for getting off the discussion of this thread. Just my 2cents. Sorry.
Am sure your intetions are meant well but we sometimes misinterpret posts.
I must say by the grace of my HP however, he has given me the direction to find AA and the 12 step program. He has guided me to this new way of life and it's up to me to WORK the steps. What good would it be if it was simply "received" as you put it. Correct me if I am wrong it's up to us to redirect our old behaviors and this takes work on our part. I beg to differ the SANE are the only ones to receive. My God, we all were insane in out behavior! Is anyone ever truly sane in all aspects? This statement of yours confuses me. If only the sane recieve, then what would be the point of our Higher Powers directing us to a new way of life? How then would the insane become sane?
Forgive me, but I just don't understand your point of view and maybe you can better clarify it for me. If the sponser we have were not insane at first they are sane now? They too are working the program.
Thy will be done. God's will for me. He has shown me what must be DONE in order to recover successfully. So for me I must work my steps. For I know in life nothing worth having is ever handed out on a silver platter or "recieved".
Again, I may have misinterpretted your post, but those are my thoughts. And I apologize for getting off the discussion of this thread. Just my 2cents. Sorry.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Truelearn I have no doubt you have found a way to work your programme/steps that work for you.
I find my own recovery by working The Steps,internalizing them and practising them in my daily life.
Receiving The Steps (as you put it) and the gifts that come from working The Steps had to start with The spiritual principle of "Willingness".
All The Spiritual principles contained within The Steps are Divine in origin and came from a Higher Source.It is a limitless source of strength and it is feely available to anyone who is willing to receive it.
Bill W may have written The Steps as we know them today but he certainly did not create The Spiritual principles that they embrace.
To put it simply....The Steps is not something for anyone to give whether sane or otherwise....The Steps is a personal spiritual experience that each one of us have under the loving care and guidance of The Higher Power of our own understanding and our sponsors.
However....my sponsor with all his sanity rationale ,reasoning and wisdom did not give me The Steps, and neither could anyone else.My sponsor was a loving source of encouragement and guidance who showed me the doors that I myself had to open and walk through....
I wish you all the best on your own personal journey of recovery.
Peter
I find my own recovery by working The Steps,internalizing them and practising them in my daily life.
Receiving The Steps (as you put it) and the gifts that come from working The Steps had to start with The spiritual principle of "Willingness".
All The Spiritual principles contained within The Steps are Divine in origin and came from a Higher Source.It is a limitless source of strength and it is feely available to anyone who is willing to receive it.
Bill W may have written The Steps as we know them today but he certainly did not create The Spiritual principles that they embrace.
To put it simply....The Steps is not something for anyone to give whether sane or otherwise....The Steps is a personal spiritual experience that each one of us have under the loving care and guidance of The Higher Power of our own understanding and our sponsors.
However....my sponsor with all his sanity rationale ,reasoning and wisdom did not give me The Steps, and neither could anyone else.My sponsor was a loving source of encouragement and guidance who showed me the doors that I myself had to open and walk through....
I wish you all the best on your own personal journey of recovery.
Peter
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Beverly Hills, FL
Posts: 8
When Jorden, Chy and Peter are ready to challenge their own limited perceptions about themselves, maybe they will hear with different ears and see with different eyes?
My email address is [email protected]. The Steps come from the Spirit Realm, therefore no one can "do" or "take" them as they damn well please.
Spirit will give the Step when one is ready TO receive the Step.
Please refrain from writing unless you are ready to receive the Steps, and are serious about looking at your own inner turmoil.
Peace.
David
My email address is [email protected]. The Steps come from the Spirit Realm, therefore no one can "do" or "take" them as they damn well please.
Spirit will give the Step when one is ready TO receive the Step.
Please refrain from writing unless you are ready to receive the Steps, and are serious about looking at your own inner turmoil.
Peace.
David
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Beverly Hills, FL
Posts: 8
RESPONSE TO CHY
"True, Am sure your intetions are meant well but we sometimes misinterpret posts. I must say by the grace of my HP however, he has given me the direction to find AA and the 12 step program. He has guided me to this new way of life and it's up to me to WORK the steps."
One cannot "work" the Steps. You have misunderstood the Steps if you think there is something to work.
" What good would it be if it was simply "received" as you put it."
What good would it be? You would see Them for the first time in your life without your conclusions upon them.
" Correct me if I am wrong it's up to us to redirect our old behaviors and this takes work on our part."
No, that is not up to us. That is suicide. It is our decisions that made the problem. You have only concluded about my post. You have not even considered FROM WHO or WHAT one receives the Steps.
"I beg to differ the SANE are the only ones to receive."
The Sane OFFER what one receives. Read the post again.
"My God, we all were insane in out behavior!"
Then why do you wish to be responsible for redirecting it?
"Is anyone ever truly sane in all aspects?"
You are spirit. Spirit is sane. Your mind that is prisoner to ego does not. This is why you are stuggling.
"This statement of yours confuses me. If only the sane recieve, then what would be the point of our Higher Powers directing us to a new way of life? How then would the insane become sane?"
Would you be insane if you realized you would have to be sane in order TO receive FROM the Sane? God is Sanity. He cannot offer you anything if you think you are insane.
RECEIVING the Step FROM Sanity then would be a sane action.
"Forgive me, but I just don't understand your point of view and maybe you can better clarify it for me. If the sponser we have were not insane at first they are sane now? They too are working the program. "
If the sponsor has told you to work the Steps, then he or she is insane also, and you need to find another sponsor.
"Thy will be done. God's will for me. "
Perhaps "Thy will" is for you to view my post? If it is God's Will, how can YOU define it?
"He has shown me what must be DONE in order to recover successfully. So for me I must work my steps."
The Steps cannot BE worked. They must be Received.
"For I know in life nothing worth having is ever handed out on a silver platter or 'recieved'."
Then you do not understand Mercy or Love.
"Again, I may have misinterpretted your post, but those are my thoughts. And I apologize for getting off the discussion of this thread. Just my 2cents. Sorry."
Yes, you are somewhat confused.
Peace.
David
__________________
Peace to you and yours as you keep on keeping on.
Chy
One cannot "work" the Steps. You have misunderstood the Steps if you think there is something to work.
" What good would it be if it was simply "received" as you put it."
What good would it be? You would see Them for the first time in your life without your conclusions upon them.
" Correct me if I am wrong it's up to us to redirect our old behaviors and this takes work on our part."
No, that is not up to us. That is suicide. It is our decisions that made the problem. You have only concluded about my post. You have not even considered FROM WHO or WHAT one receives the Steps.
"I beg to differ the SANE are the only ones to receive."
The Sane OFFER what one receives. Read the post again.
"My God, we all were insane in out behavior!"
Then why do you wish to be responsible for redirecting it?
"Is anyone ever truly sane in all aspects?"
You are spirit. Spirit is sane. Your mind that is prisoner to ego does not. This is why you are stuggling.
"This statement of yours confuses me. If only the sane recieve, then what would be the point of our Higher Powers directing us to a new way of life? How then would the insane become sane?"
Would you be insane if you realized you would have to be sane in order TO receive FROM the Sane? God is Sanity. He cannot offer you anything if you think you are insane.
RECEIVING the Step FROM Sanity then would be a sane action.
"Forgive me, but I just don't understand your point of view and maybe you can better clarify it for me. If the sponser we have were not insane at first they are sane now? They too are working the program. "
If the sponsor has told you to work the Steps, then he or she is insane also, and you need to find another sponsor.
"Thy will be done. God's will for me. "
Perhaps "Thy will" is for you to view my post? If it is God's Will, how can YOU define it?
"He has shown me what must be DONE in order to recover successfully. So for me I must work my steps."
The Steps cannot BE worked. They must be Received.
"For I know in life nothing worth having is ever handed out on a silver platter or 'recieved'."
Then you do not understand Mercy or Love.
"Again, I may have misinterpretted your post, but those are my thoughts. And I apologize for getting off the discussion of this thread. Just my 2cents. Sorry."
Yes, you are somewhat confused.
Peace.
David
__________________
Peace to you and yours as you keep on keeping on.
Chy
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Beverly Hills, FL
Posts: 8
RESPONSE FOR PETER
"Truelearn I have no doubt you have found a way to work your programme/steps that work for you."
It is not "MY" way. You are confused.
"I find my own recovery by working The Steps,internalizing them and practising them in my daily life."
Recovery does not belong to you. There IS no "MY" in recovery. Recover is impersonal. There is nothing to practice. The Steps must be Received.
"Receiving The Steps (as you put it) and the gifts that come from working The Steps had to start with The spiritual principle of "Willingness"."
What do you know of willingness? You have not asked a single question. What are YOU selling?
"All The Spiritual principles contained within The Steps are Divine in origin and came from a Higher Source."
What could you possibly know about a Divine Source if you think recovery is personal?
"It is a limitless source of strength and it is feely available to anyone who is willing to receive it. "
Freely available, but not freely received.
"Bill W may have written The Steps as we know them today"
Bill W. RECEIVED the Steps.
"but he certainly did not create The Spiritual principles that they embrace."
That implies Bill is not part of God. How do you know anything of Bill? Is "your" recovery as boundless as his? Does "your" recovery touch upon 147 continents?
"To put it simply....The Steps is not something for anyone to give whether sane or otherwise....The Steps is a personal spiritual experience that each one of us have under the loving care and guidance of The Higher Power of our own understanding and our sponsors."
That is your opinion, not a Fact. The opinion is based on your biased outlook.
"However....my sponsor with all his sanity rationale ,reasoning and wisdom did not give me The Steps, and neither could anyone else.My sponsor was a loving source of encouragement and guidance who showed me the doors that I myself had to open and walk through...."
Yes, I know. "YOUR" recovery.You are without alcohol, but you certainly are not sober, or sane.
"I wish you all the best on your own personal journey of recovery."
You need to save your wishes for you, the elf in the forest.
Peace.
David
It is not "MY" way. You are confused.
"I find my own recovery by working The Steps,internalizing them and practising them in my daily life."
Recovery does not belong to you. There IS no "MY" in recovery. Recover is impersonal. There is nothing to practice. The Steps must be Received.
"Receiving The Steps (as you put it) and the gifts that come from working The Steps had to start with The spiritual principle of "Willingness"."
What do you know of willingness? You have not asked a single question. What are YOU selling?
"All The Spiritual principles contained within The Steps are Divine in origin and came from a Higher Source."
What could you possibly know about a Divine Source if you think recovery is personal?
"It is a limitless source of strength and it is feely available to anyone who is willing to receive it. "
Freely available, but not freely received.
"Bill W may have written The Steps as we know them today"
Bill W. RECEIVED the Steps.
"but he certainly did not create The Spiritual principles that they embrace."
That implies Bill is not part of God. How do you know anything of Bill? Is "your" recovery as boundless as his? Does "your" recovery touch upon 147 continents?
"To put it simply....The Steps is not something for anyone to give whether sane or otherwise....The Steps is a personal spiritual experience that each one of us have under the loving care and guidance of The Higher Power of our own understanding and our sponsors."
That is your opinion, not a Fact. The opinion is based on your biased outlook.
"However....my sponsor with all his sanity rationale ,reasoning and wisdom did not give me The Steps, and neither could anyone else.My sponsor was a loving source of encouragement and guidance who showed me the doors that I myself had to open and walk through...."
Yes, I know. "YOUR" recovery.You are without alcohol, but you certainly are not sober, or sane.
"I wish you all the best on your own personal journey of recovery."
You need to save your wishes for you, the elf in the forest.
Peace.
David
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
Hey true, you sound very combative and resentful towards people who don't say/agree exactly with your views. Just my opinion, but when we are confident in our 'program' we don't need to resort to calling people lazy, confused and of "limited perceptions" , I think it's great that that you found a program to help with your recovery, but I don't think calling people names and holding such contempt for those who don't find your way their way a very happy recovery. Just my 2cents worth. I won't be mad if you disagree, Live and Let Live really gives me serenity.
Hugz,
Tammie
Hugz,
Tammie
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