kpr27

I think this site is great-but only in a general way. It's TOO big-it's too hard to find a personal someone to identify with. My case in point- I logged on months ago trying to turn my life around and get off of my alcohol problem. Many random people, who I never heard from again, told me i needed to ditch my life, my boyfriend, my lifestyle, my evening bartending job. I followed that advice but then never heard from any of those folks again. Now I'm cut off from my social network and still drinking. My lowest point ever was last Sunday. I live for football. I work for the NFL. I passed out at half time of the best Super Bowl ever- or so I'm told. Had to watch the recap on ESPN Monday morning. Making zero progress- or so I feel. I just want somone to talk to that understands.

CAPTAINZING2000

welcome to recovery.


I wasn't staying sober with my old friends. I had to develop new friends

A big reason why so many can't stay sober.

Did you try meetings??

Besides the drinking scene, what other interests do you have?

kpr27

No, I haven't tried meetings. My family would simply freak out if I ever got caught admitting a problem like this.

As for other interests.......I don't know..I kick box and I played soccer in college, does that count? The rest is probably unfit to mention here.

kpr27

why does it say I only have two posts? I posted like mad months ago when I thought this place could help me. Now i'm cut off from PM's again also, right?

CAPTAINZING2000

you'd have to develop healthy habits instead of destructive ones

Just to let you know, your parents would be more supportive of you being sober then of you being drunk an wasted

kpr27

My parents can't tell I'm drunk. I've been schooled in how to look like a perfect LADY. CAN YOU TELL THAT I"M DRUNK????????????? Anyway...I tried to PM you, but I'm blocked as I feared. AND NOW VERY FRUSTRATED,

CAPTAINZING2000

what do you drink? Kind of hard to sneak around with booze on your breath.

I'd address the problem before your life got out of control

kpr27

you're amusing...and my breath is just fine I assure you

My life's been out of control for ages.

Dee74

hey KPR
we had a meltdown a few weeks back...lots of posts lost. Sorry it seems to have affected your PM ability too.

I think the meetings idea is a good one.

I know, I know - your family - but what's worse: them finding out you have a problem or you living like this ?

best of luck
D

possiblyNuts

Other people might disagree... But I believe that you can't solely rely on other people to help you through this. You have to look inside and find inner strength. It is true that a good support network will help you to stay sober. But it is also true that the end decision to drink or not drink comes from the individual.

I'll gladly return PMs if you want to chat. I haven't turned to recovery meetings in real life either, but I have found some good support on this forum.


And I can relate about other people in my life having no idea about my problem. When I was drinking, I was the type of drunk that would literally drink 750ml + of vodka, and my sober friends would come over and wonder why I wouldn't want to drive when they wanted to go out to dinner (they had no idea I had drank one drink, let alone 25+ shots of vodka). But that didn't make my problem any more serious than if I was a falling down drunkard. Actually, if anything, it made it more dangerous because the closest people in my life didn't realize that I had a problem.

kpr27

You're sweet. But they won't find out. They have bigger problems, like my twin brother blowing his brains out after losing his leg in Iraq. I was just on here trying to find someone to chat with. But I'm fine. COLD AS HELL cause i hate winter.....but just fine. THANKS

CarolD

Hello kpr27.....
I am so sorry to know of your brothers death.
Tragic.

Yes...your earlier post were lost in the crash of our site.
I'm glad you are here again.

I did have to make changes in my life to stay sober.
I quit working around alcohol and took an office position.
I dumped my alcoholic lover of 5 years.
I stopped social contacts with friends who drank excessively.
I told my family I had started AA.

Sooo...I do relate to your situation.

I found new sober friends in AA that were living the
same way I wanted. They were an immense help
as I moved towards health and recovery.
: And we had a blast socially.

The key for me?
I had to want to be sober
more than I wanted to drink.

Welcome back to SR!

Signal30

This site, AA, our jobs, hobbies, friends etc. are exactely how you make it. If you are not happy with everyone and everything else, then the first thing that needs to change is you and your attitude. If you sit around and just wait hoping everything will get better then you be waiting a loooooong time.



Tom

collinsmi

This site is great and I love it, but I'd hate to rely upon just it to keep me sober.

cookconfay

I hear that you are angry and bitter and in tons of denial.

Have you ever heard what the word "fine" stands for?

F*cked up
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional

I suggest admitting you have a problem if you indeed do have one, only you can decide to do that. At all costs, have to do that first as that is the FIRST step.

Sugah

There was a point in my life where I turned to the internet, to nameless, faceless people with whom I could be rigorously honest with -- so those in my "real" life never had to see who I really was. I was still using, and honestly, I didn't have much of a desire at that time to be sober, but it felt good to dump it all in someone else's lap, someone I never had to worry would give me away to my family or friends on this side of the screen.

I had an internet friend who told me over and over, "Let me know when you're ready for help." Eventually, I was, and I told him. Did he carefully type out the instructions I needed to follow to get better? Well, maybe -- he gave me a hotline number, told me to call it and I did. They hooked me up with a woman in my area who gave me some further suggestions. I soon began meetings & began working with this woman. My family was not at all surprised when I told them I was seeking help. Everything I thought I had so carefully hidden from them, or justified to them, was very apparent to them. They had just chosen not to waste their breath on me trying to change something in me that wasn't theirs to change.

If you really think that your parents are so tied up in their own problems, then maybe they won't notice your efforts to get sober, either. Who says you have to come out of the closet to them? Just take the steps to do it. You don't have to involve them if you don't want to. Eventually, you'll know if they realized that you have a problem, but what's to lose, either way? You'll be sober, which sounds like a better place than where you are now.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Zoobear

You sound like a smart girl.
I think you should just keep doing it your way. It seems to be working very well for you.

Dee74

posts like this annoy me Zoobear.

D

Dee74

I do. Not saying it's for everyone, but it works great for me.
D

matt88

Hey Kpr, sorry, but I had to chuckle @ this one. Surely you can get a recording of the game? I love football too, and played all through high school. I wish I could work in the NFL.

Anyways, maybe give sobriety a try, you might like it. And I'd be glad to chat, send me a PM if you wanna talk.