think think think
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
think think think
I've found that time and time again, acting on my feelings gets me in trouble. Alcoholism is a spiritual, emotional and physical disease. It takes time to get better. I don't have much control over my feelings, but I have a certain amount of control over my thought process.
It's been over two years since I stopped doing drugs and drinking. I still suffer from some of the emotional damage I caused myself, and I know I stunted my emotional growth during the course of my active additction. Emotional sobriety is coming along slowly, and I'm not all the way there yet.
The bottom line is that I can't trust my feelings enough to base any decisions on them. I'll give a quick example: when someone does something wrong to me, my first feelings are usually based on ALL the wrongs EVER done to me. If I act on these feelings, I "over react". If I give into my impusles, I often hurt myself and others.
Working the 12 steps of AA, and practicing the program is the way I'm trying to get better.
One of the slogans of AA is "think think think". I believe this slogan is good for anyone who is in recovery or not. It certainly is important to me.
Sometimes when I feel bad, I try and think of why I feel bad. Often there is no specific answer. I just feel bad. Should I act bad as a result? No. Feeling bad isn't a good enough reason to act bad. The results of acting bad make me feel worse.
This may seem like pretty simple stuff, but it's something that I'm just starting to grasp in my journey.
On a practical level, with regards to staying sober, I have to consider my impulsive nature. This impulsive nature is directly related to my alcoholism. Not giving into my impulsive nature is one way to combat my disease. The stronger I get in this area of my life, I decrease the risk of having a relapse.
"Playing the tape through untill the end" is a great example of employing the "think think think" slogan. When I drank, I'd seek momentary bliss, at the expense of the long term suffering. I'd drink myself into oblivion, like there was no tommorow. Seeing through the first drink, past the bliss of drunkness, for the ruin it causes in my life makes me recoil from it. When I "think think think", I see a drink for what it really is: POISON
In sobriety, I try to employ this slogan in other parts of my life. It certainly is important in my career and my family life. If I take a good look at my thinking, I'm apt to make better choices. If I practice this in all my affairs, I'm a more balanced person.
I quit drinking and doing drugs because of the problems it caused me. In sobriety, I'm discovering the problems that kept me down in a cycle of dysfunctionality. A big problem of mine is my impuslive nature and the tendency to "over react". This got me drunk over and over again.
My feelings are all messed up much of the time. In fact, quite often, I'm an emotional wreck. I can let this ruin my life...or....I can make rational choices. Every day that I stay sober, I'm much better prepared to react from a place of peace and composure. God willing, this will help me stay away from the first drink. I bring up God because I try to depend on God to help me with my emotional problems in the same way I depend on God to deal with my addiction problems. The less trouble I get into, the less turmoil I cause myself. It's a slow process, but it's getting better with time and effort.
I hope everyone (who wants it) has a peaceful and sober weekend.
chip
It's been over two years since I stopped doing drugs and drinking. I still suffer from some of the emotional damage I caused myself, and I know I stunted my emotional growth during the course of my active additction. Emotional sobriety is coming along slowly, and I'm not all the way there yet.
The bottom line is that I can't trust my feelings enough to base any decisions on them. I'll give a quick example: when someone does something wrong to me, my first feelings are usually based on ALL the wrongs EVER done to me. If I act on these feelings, I "over react". If I give into my impusles, I often hurt myself and others.
Working the 12 steps of AA, and practicing the program is the way I'm trying to get better.
One of the slogans of AA is "think think think". I believe this slogan is good for anyone who is in recovery or not. It certainly is important to me.
Sometimes when I feel bad, I try and think of why I feel bad. Often there is no specific answer. I just feel bad. Should I act bad as a result? No. Feeling bad isn't a good enough reason to act bad. The results of acting bad make me feel worse.
This may seem like pretty simple stuff, but it's something that I'm just starting to grasp in my journey.
On a practical level, with regards to staying sober, I have to consider my impulsive nature. This impulsive nature is directly related to my alcoholism. Not giving into my impulsive nature is one way to combat my disease. The stronger I get in this area of my life, I decrease the risk of having a relapse.
"Playing the tape through untill the end" is a great example of employing the "think think think" slogan. When I drank, I'd seek momentary bliss, at the expense of the long term suffering. I'd drink myself into oblivion, like there was no tommorow. Seeing through the first drink, past the bliss of drunkness, for the ruin it causes in my life makes me recoil from it. When I "think think think", I see a drink for what it really is: POISON
In sobriety, I try to employ this slogan in other parts of my life. It certainly is important in my career and my family life. If I take a good look at my thinking, I'm apt to make better choices. If I practice this in all my affairs, I'm a more balanced person.
I quit drinking and doing drugs because of the problems it caused me. In sobriety, I'm discovering the problems that kept me down in a cycle of dysfunctionality. A big problem of mine is my impuslive nature and the tendency to "over react". This got me drunk over and over again.
My feelings are all messed up much of the time. In fact, quite often, I'm an emotional wreck. I can let this ruin my life...or....I can make rational choices. Every day that I stay sober, I'm much better prepared to react from a place of peace and composure. God willing, this will help me stay away from the first drink. I bring up God because I try to depend on God to help me with my emotional problems in the same way I depend on God to deal with my addiction problems. The less trouble I get into, the less turmoil I cause myself. It's a slow process, but it's getting better with time and effort.
I hope everyone (who wants it) has a peaceful and sober weekend.
chip
Last edited by chip; 02-09-2008 at 12:08 AM.
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
control your emotions, revert back to a 50s style of thinking. i like being crazy emotional sometimes, its def. best to keep it to yourself though, avoid problems. music is my higher power.
thanks for sharing.
thanks for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
You said a mouthful Chip (or typed a keyboard full)! I thought that after I'd finished the 4th and 5th steps I would be transformed into this higher being but of course that did not happen. I have to watch myself all the time and be ready to employ my "spiritual toolkit" as needed to restrain my childish, impulsive behavior. At least I have a toolkit now!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
If I could think the drink through, I wouldn't be powerless, I wouldn't need AA, and I wouldn't need to seek a vital spiritual experience that led me to God. we either believe what our basic text says or we don't, but that's just me, for all you folks who are thinking your way through sobriety, God bless you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
If I could think the drink through, I wouldn't be powerless, I wouldn't need AA, and I wouldn't need to seek a vital spiritual experience that led me to God. we either believe what our basic text says or we don't, but that's just me, for all you folks who are thinking your way through sobriety, God bless you.
Hi Rob,
I wasn't saying I can think my way out of my alcoholism or I don't need a spiritual experience. Part of walking in the spirit, for me, is to not let my wild emotions run the show. I certainly can't stay sober without God's help. God needs me to do my best though. "we admitted we WERE powerless over alcohol, that our lives HAD become unmanageable". Since God has taken care of my addiction problem, I am no longer powerless over alcohol IF I stay away from the first drink. It's my understanding that God has given me the power to stay sober...God's power not mine. Trying to walk in the path God has given me involves thinking things through and not acting on my feelings. My feelings can be really messed up, but in sobriety, I can tune my thinking into God's will for my life. In my case, this includes not over reacting.
chip
Hi Rob,
I wasn't saying I can think my way out of my alcoholism or I don't need a spiritual experience. Part of walking in the spirit, for me, is to not let my wild emotions run the show. I certainly can't stay sober without God's help. God needs me to do my best though. "we admitted we WERE powerless over alcohol, that our lives HAD become unmanageable". Since God has taken care of my addiction problem, I am no longer powerless over alcohol IF I stay away from the first drink. It's my understanding that God has given me the power to stay sober...God's power not mine. Trying to walk in the path God has given me involves thinking things through and not acting on my feelings. My feelings can be really messed up, but in sobriety, I can tune my thinking into God's will for my life. In my case, this includes not over reacting.
chip
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 195
Hi Chip- well first of all well done for such self-awareness- and acting on this. You're a good example. Reading over your post i must say i was shocked at just how much i identified with what you said- you could of been describing me! Your post has actually come as a great help to me tonight- after a very shakey day. Thanks a million 
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
