Ozark

I want to quit, but I don't want to. I'm 59,semi-retired, and have been drinking pretty much every day since my early 20's. I drink a cocktail before dinner, and 1/2 to 3/4 bottle of wine every night watching a movie or reading a book. I like the taste and I like the way it mellows me out. I'm not drinking more or less in the last several years. I have gone 3 times in the last year of not drinking for 7 straight days just to do it. No withdrawal or other physical results, just total boredom at night. Had the doctor check the liver enzymes last year and al was fine. Bottom line is, I believe I'm an alcoholic, but I enjoy it, and just don't want to give it up.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation, and, if so, what did you do?

tellus

I'm new at most of this, but I can regurgitate advice I've seen elsewhere in these forums. The first thing everyone will tell you: only you can decide whether you're an alcoholic or not. One "test" would be to take just one or two drinks, then stop. Do you need that 1/2-3/4 bottle of wine, or are you able to just stop after the cocktail? The first step in the Big Book reads: "We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable." Does that apply to you?

If you think your life would be better without alcohol, I'd say check out AA, give quitting a shot. There's a good chance that you'll find you're just as happy, or even happier, without alcohol in your life. On the other hand, it could be that you're happier as-is; from what you've said, it seems like your health isn't a problem at this point.

Best of luck,
A

ManchurianC

Hello Ozark

You seem to doing about 70 units of alcohol per week. The recommended max (in the UK) for a man is 21 units per week (1 unit = 10ml alcohol), with at least 1 day with no alcohol, and no more than 5 units in a single day.

Apparently these numbers were just plucked out of the air by a government committee with no qualifying medical research. The fact is, some people can sustain serious damage from small amounts of alcohol, while other can consume large amounts with seemingly no ill affects.

Anyway, from what you say, I think most people would say you are an habitual drinker with a chronic dependency on alcohol, who drinks more than a safe amount. But you are not in a desperate situation, and if you could cut back a bit, you would have all the advantages and pleasures of moderate alcohol consumption.

Whether you are a natural born alcoholic (with extraordinary self-control) or chronically dependent on alcohol for other reasons, seems irrelevant. The 2 things that are important is that you are drinking too much and you (apparently) are worried about it.

If I was in your position (your, age, history, alcohol consumption levels etc.) I would probably drink the same amount, but try to use more mixer and less booze in the daily cocktail and drink a wine (1/3 bottle) with a reduced alcohol content (I presumed you are drinking normal strength wine), with at least one day off the drink each week, to try to get my weekly units under 30.

Good luck with what you decide.

EDIT - Oh forgot to add. I'm an alcoholic and can't drink at all, so it was just make-believe about me drinking.

chip

Hi Ozark,
I'm an alcoholic as well, and I had to quit drinking. It was causing too many problems in my life. I had to build up a strong desire to quit before I could do the things I must do to live a sober life. At some point, my desire to quit out weighed my desire to drink. That is when I became willing to change.

I'm guessing that you're beginning to desire sobriety. You might be working on a willingness to change your life. If so, this is a good place to be.
chip

CarolD

Hi again....

I too am an alcoholic who drank even when
I knew that fact. Until my depression
became unbearable....I saw no reason to change.

I finally quit at 53 and it was the wisest
move I ever made.
The last 18+ years have
been depression free.
A glorious time for personal growth and adventure.

Blessings

jimhere

If you enjoy drinking and booze gives you what you are looking for, I would say keep drinking. I myself can see no point in stopping why it still works, I know I wouldn't.
Jim

reed

I think you may just be a drinker. You are used to your evening ritual of drink and relaxing....doesn't look like a problem to me. Don't let anyone tell you what to do, if you quit do it for yourself.

CAPTAINZING2000

sounds like boredom

Got any hobbies to keep you occupied?

Ozark

Hobbies? Wow, I've got lots....fly fishing, tying trout flies, muskie fishing, reading, a bit o writing, scrabble and some poker online, playing with my dog, good movies. But at end of day, I just like that damn wine.

Lots of people on this board seem to have a lot more willpower than I....just too damn weak!!

User_Name

My willpower was not enough. I don't really think I have any at all. It took a support group and a doctor to help me stop. I tried on my own many times but couldn't ever make it last or have any happiness. It's not willpower that many of us use to stop, it's the help of other people who have done it. Good luck!

reed

I don't think your weak, you just like wine. As long as there are no health issues enjoy it.

RufusACanal

Ozark,

Thanks for your post. What are you looking for from SR? Why quit drinking? Maybe there is more to this story than you have related? If Alcohol is a problem, then you are probably in the right place, if it is not...then what? You'll notice that folks are willing to open their experiences to you in order to help. Why not return the favor.

Best to you and welcome.

Ron

Ozark

I'm here because I believe I am an alcoholic. My father was an alcolholic who really went downhill after he retired early (like me...I retired early). Only differences are my dad had only one hobby, and often went on 2-3 day binges. I really loved my dad, but not what he became. In retrospect I'm sure he was severely depressed. I often wonder if he had access to drugs available today whether he would feel different. I myself am on anti-depressants....seems to run in my family, but drugs seems to have helped me considersably. I have wanted to quit for years, but just never seem to bad enough. Not sure what you mean by asking me to open up. Wasn't sure what I just related was really relevant, but there it is, nonetheless.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi Ozark,

Bad enough? For whom? Bad enough for you to be worrying about it. That in itself says a lot. Maybe you aren't an alcoholic. But you said yourself that you think that you are..normal drinkers don't think that.

I too liked the buzz of wine after dinner. Then it got to be before dinner, after 12 pm, blah blah blah you get the idea.

I don't know, you might be saving yourself a lot of trouble by quitting now, see how you feel for 30 days, might give you some peace of mind.

I will say this, my mother was an alcoholic who died from the disease. I worried for many many years that possibly I would go down the same path. I remember asking my sister if she was extra vigilant about the amounts she drank because of our mother, and she said yes. My sister isn't an alcoholic, but I am.

Keep searching and you will find your truth..

Karen

1963comet

Want to Hi and Welcome

If you want to quit, stick around here. Alot of people here doing it. Only you can decide if you have trouble with drinking. I know how you can love it and hate it. Been there, anyway hope to see you here.