Rimmy

I just wanted to let everyone know that I have a new sense of self after reading the Big Book and that overnight, my desire to drink nearly diminished. I have been doing ok (much better than when drinking) but the desire and actually missing it has still been there.

I spent Saturday night and most of Sunday reading through it and it really gave me a new perspective on life. I didn't find God for those of you like me who just have reservation, but I found a perspective of handing some things off that are out of your control, and also some peace with my past. I found that by thinking not of myself as the center of the world, that I can be controlled rather than be "in control". I fully realize and have come to terms with the fact that I truly am powerless over alcohol and that it is ok. Now that I have stopped thinking that I might some day control it (I tried hard for 3 years without luck) a huge weight has been lifted. And it's only been two days, but not one urge. And my wife drinks in front of me every night. Not one urge to slug from her beer when the runs to the bathroom. Not one urge to grab a cold one from the fridge.

I truly hope I can keep this perspective because I feel elated to have the burdon feel so much further away.

So anyway, for those of you struggling, at least give the book a read if you are like myself, stubborn or "too busy" or just don't want to go to a meeting or think it's all about God. Read through it and think about who you are, and I think you can get a lot out of it. I don't believe just reading it is a substitution for going to a meeting, but if you are white knuckling it, it will give you something to do and why not look at life in a new perspective. No harm, no foul, right? I'm the same guy I was last week, but I changed my defenses against my urges and I don't feel I am fighting them so much.

And I'm not saying you don't have to work the steps. Please Please Please, I'm not saying you don't have to go to meetings. I am encouraging meetings for those who feel the need to go. But the book is there for those who might be interested and I truly believe it has helped me. I'm sure I will be reading through parts of it again and taking from it what I need.

Maybe someone can post a link to the online 4'th edition... that's what I read. I don't think I can post links.

nandm

Nice post. You are right on the money. At nearly 7 years sober I still read and study the Big Book as I still have a lot to learn and always learn something new when I pick it up. The first 164 pages contain the core of the program. Feel free to visit our 12 step study section of this forum if you are interested in learning more about the Big Book as there is a study of the Big Book being posted their. Here is a link to it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/step-study/
Welcome to the program. Keep up the good work.

Rimmy

I just wanted to add that I in no way meant to imply that by reading 75% of it in one weekend that I was all knowledgeable and cured. That would be an insult to those who have worked with it for years.

I just wanted to point out that after reading it without bias, I know that should I ever slip up, or my urges come back with a fury, I would not think twice about attending meetings and accepting help from the people who attend. It's not at all what I thought it was, and I understand more about not just "stopping drinking", but having to work at it and on yourself.

also, I'm sorry for all my stubborn and probably rude "I don't want to go to AA" attitudes which had no merit. My ignorance of AA allowed me to keep drinking for a long time. I'm still hanging in there without it, but I no longer fear it. And the philosophies within the book ring true.

Thanks for the link nandm

nandm

I didn't take it that way. I was just glad to see that you had read it with an open mind and found it to be useful. I know it has helped me a lot. I would not be sober today if it were not for what I have learned in AA.

Jfanagle

The Big Book is our foundation and without a good solid foundation the structure we try and erect won't last for any appreciable length of time. I have always felt it is an instruction manual to be referred back to when anything seems foggy or unclear.

I agree whole heartedly with Rimmy, it isn't everything, but it does give us structure and will suffice when one CAN'T get to a meeting or reach one's sponsor. That being said, I do know that I have read many books on golf, but somehow playing the game seems to point out some use for practice in addition to simple knowledge.

I still have my original copy of the third edition of the Big Book and it has rings on the cover where I used to rest my whiskey glass after reading the book. After all I needed my drink to "contemplate" all that wisdom inside the book.

I applaud you Rimmy for not only reading the book, but "booking a tee time." KEEP HITTING THEM LONG AND STRAIGHT!!

Jon

CarolD

Glad you shared your progress!

lovingseren

I am very glad for you Rimmy.

When we find what speaks to us, it is a moment of supreme clarity.

Seren

Aa_vark

As Requested, the official link to the Big Book, online.... at aa.org,

Big Book On Line

Sugah

Many have had a vital spiritual experience as a result of receiving the message of sobriety.

Sounds to me like that's what you had.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Tazman53

Rimmy I bolded the most important thing of your statement, when one really becomes willing to do what ever it takes to get and stay sober they drop all biases they have and investigate all avenues with an open mind and a willingness to do what ever the next step that is needed to stay sober.

You have done this, instead of doing like I did for many years and slamming the door shut on ways to sobriety other then my own way, you have kept all the doors open and are checking out what is behind each door with an open mind!