Tqconq

3 whole days, and I messed it all up.
I'm starting again tomorrow but I'm beginning to realise what you all say about not being able to do this on your own.

A.A. It is then I guess, I'm tired of falling off and needing/wanting to drink.

ANGELINA243

Welcome--glad you are here! I'm starting over (again) myself. My last drink was last Monday (21st). It sucks that I drank--but at the time I felt that was what I needed to do. I cannot undo it--I must press forward. Good luck--keep moving forward. This place has been instumental in helping me continue with my recovery. The support has been outstanding. Keep posting--I'm glad you are here!

joey8262

tq-dont beat urself up m8-am just going into day3 now and yes it is hard-i havent got a clue how i'm going to get through it but just stay on here and keep typing away-honest to god it takes your mind off things big time-you never fell off-you just hit a bump in the road-and the best thing to do is put it behind you and move on-if you dwell on it you'll end up reaching for another one-just try and be strong for yourself and whatever motivation you've got-you can do it-seriously

caraway

I've done the same, countless times. I've found that stopping is the easy bit and staying stopped is something else. I like the company of other alkies too, to help me stay sober, so I've gone back to AA. I was really nervous going back, but I do actually enjoy the meetings now and am so glad I made that decision. I'm also very grateful to SR and all the help I get here too.

Anna

I'm glad you're back and trying again.

Tqconq

It was just something in my head, insidious isn't it?

I had some money in my pocket, and spent about 2 hours deciding what to do with it.

Shall I save it? Shall I spend it now and get rid of the temptation?

In the end the alcohol won out.
But that wasn't the end, I bought a little bit, got near the end of the bottle, and panicked I wasn't drunk enough and wanted more. It never ends once I start.

I get paid Tuesday, that'll be the real test.
Can I have the money and not drink? Or will I give in again.

Sometimes I almost feel myself shouting 'Bring it on!!!!'
Because I'm determined.

Then the little alkie-bug sneaks up and whispers in my ear.

I hope I manage it.

Ty for all your support.

reed

Go to AA, introduce yourself, get a sponsor and work the steps.

joey8262

tq-you just answered your own question-as you said-you wanted it-if you needed it you'd have folded on the first night-its just a question of telling yourself that its not something you want-you obviously have the willpower-you lasted 3 days-just keep telling yourself-you dont NEED it-you're just used to it-i dont want it anymore-thats all i keep saying in my head-and i'm probably the most weak-willed person i know-and i'm holding up and looking forward to day 7-long way off but gota have a goal.good luck m8-hope you get there-i know you will

SF69

Yeah, it's a shame that Raid doesn't kill those types of bugs.

Just keep at it. If quitting were easy, there probably wouldn't be a need for AA or SR.

CarolD

Many of us had false starts on our way to solid recovery.

You don't need to struggle alone
millions of us are finding AA an awesome adventure!

Forward we go...side by side

hughs dad

Dude - I fought AA for two years. I am now a believer. If nothing else, it makes you be around a positive message and you can't drink for an hour. I tried my own way for sooooo long and always failed.

Good luck - don't sweat falling off, you can do it again - go do it!

chip

Hi Tqcong,
It sounds like you are learning about how this disease is out to get you. Many of us find that we can't do it alone. Going to AA is a solid plan. I urge you to go, and find out about how to get out of this vicious cycle.
chip

Tazman53

TQ you remind me of myself, I would quit my way, I could never stay stopped my way!

Do not beat your self up over it, I did it 100's of times before I finally admitted to myself "Gee my way of staying stopped does not work!!! Maybe I should try another way?" I was pretty far gone when I finally came to this conclusion, I had gone to one AA meeting aboiut 5 years before that but got nothing out of that one meeting, but being drunk when I went may have had something to do with that!!! LOL

When I finally surrendered to the fact my way did not work I did not know what to do so I went to a doctor, he sent me to detox, detox told me if I wanted a chance to stay sober to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.

Well here I am today, 16 months sober, happy & free of the obsession of alcohol, thanks to the program of AA and all the people in AA who supported me and showed me freely the way they stayed sober one day at a time.

Zoobear

This worked for me too!

Tazman53

BTW TQ I want to compliment you on being honest, being honest with your self and others is the primary key to getting and staying sober. You will find the more honest you are with your self and others the easier staying sober will be.

Living a lie is what drinking is all about, being honest is what sobriety is all about.

Liars can never look the world straight in the eye with out a funny feeling in the pit of thier stomach..... unless they are planning on picking up a drink soon.