Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) Experiences
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 71
Hi ManchurianC and Everyone else,
Thanks for the very informative post and all the great replies. I don't have any further information to add but have a few questions instead.
1. Will quitting drinking (PAW) affect you the same way as going off anti-depressants suddenly? Doctors always advised me that if you want to stop taking the meds to gradually ween yourself off. There have been a few occassions in my life where I was forced to stop taking Paxil (economic reasons) and it really caused a lot of problems for me-pretty crazy to be honest.
2. I had quit drinking in 1997 when I was prescribed anti-depressants. I really took the doctor's warning about not drinking while on anti-depressants seriously. For the next 18 months I was sober. I was in graduate school during that time and I had a lot of problems. I was agitated, angry, aggressive...I could go on, but I was really not well. Is this because of PAW? Because of my body adjusting to Paxil ( I was on a regular dosage)?
I guess what I find confusing is that I do admit I had/have a drinking problem, but I am not sure if I can attribute all my crazy, inappropriate,immature, dumb yada yada behavior and thinking to PAW?
PatK
Thanks for the very informative post and all the great replies. I don't have any further information to add but have a few questions instead.
1. Will quitting drinking (PAW) affect you the same way as going off anti-depressants suddenly? Doctors always advised me that if you want to stop taking the meds to gradually ween yourself off. There have been a few occassions in my life where I was forced to stop taking Paxil (economic reasons) and it really caused a lot of problems for me-pretty crazy to be honest.
2. I had quit drinking in 1997 when I was prescribed anti-depressants. I really took the doctor's warning about not drinking while on anti-depressants seriously. For the next 18 months I was sober. I was in graduate school during that time and I had a lot of problems. I was agitated, angry, aggressive...I could go on, but I was really not well. Is this because of PAW? Because of my body adjusting to Paxil ( I was on a regular dosage)?
I guess what I find confusing is that I do admit I had/have a drinking problem, but I am not sure if I can attribute all my crazy, inappropriate,immature, dumb yada yada behavior and thinking to PAW?
PatK
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Patk 
Hi ManchurianC and Everyone else,
Thanks for the very informative post and all the great replies. I don't have any further information to add but have a few questions instead.
1. Will quitting drinking (PAW) affect you the same way as going off anti-depressants suddenly? Doctors always advised me that if you want to stop taking the meds to gradually ween yourself off. There have been a few occassions in my life where I was forced to stop taking Paxil (economic reasons) and it really caused a lot of problems for me-pretty crazy to be honest.
2. I had quit drinking in 1997 when I was prescribed anti-depressants. I really took the doctor's warning about not drinking while on anti-depressants seriously. For the next 18 months I was sober. I was in graduate school during that time and I had a lot of problems. I was agitated, angry, aggressive...I could go on, but I was really not well. Is this because of PAW? Because of my body adjusting to Paxil ( I was on a regular dosage)?
I guess what I find confusing is that I do admit I had/have a drinking problem, but I am not sure if I can attribute all my crazy, inappropriate,immature, dumb yada yada behavior and thinking to PAW?
PatK
Thanks for the very informative post and all the great replies. I don't have any further information to add but have a few questions instead.
1. Will quitting drinking (PAW) affect you the same way as going off anti-depressants suddenly? Doctors always advised me that if you want to stop taking the meds to gradually ween yourself off. There have been a few occassions in my life where I was forced to stop taking Paxil (economic reasons) and it really caused a lot of problems for me-pretty crazy to be honest.
2. I had quit drinking in 1997 when I was prescribed anti-depressants. I really took the doctor's warning about not drinking while on anti-depressants seriously. For the next 18 months I was sober. I was in graduate school during that time and I had a lot of problems. I was agitated, angry, aggressive...I could go on, but I was really not well. Is this because of PAW? Because of my body adjusting to Paxil ( I was on a regular dosage)?
I guess what I find confusing is that I do admit I had/have a drinking problem, but I am not sure if I can attribute all my crazy, inappropriate,immature, dumb yada yada behavior and thinking to PAW?
PatK
PAW's is a strange thing... I wasn't even a 'heavy drinker' and PAW's has effected me pretty intensely. I'm only at 2 months... Everyone's body chemistry is different, it is very possible that you are/were suffering from PAW's.
Pat, if you are suffering from PAW's, the only way you'll ever get past it, is to go through it! (even though it sucks!).
I encourage you to talk to your doctor or a professional about quiting and PAW's if you haven't already. You have you whole life ahead of you. PAW's is generally only temporary. It's worth going through a some discomfort if it means there'll be light at the end of the tunnel.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by pennylane2009
The worst part of PAWS for me has been the return of my PTSD. The only major symptom of PTSD I have is extreme jumpiness -- if I am startled, I am like a frightened cat. I scream, jump, and turn to run the other way. Bet my hair is standing on end, too. I had PTSD in my early 20s while dealing with the aftermath of sexual abuse I'd had as a teen. It had gone away in the past few years, and is now back with a vengeance.
My memory sucked for the first few weeks of sobriety, but now it's back (ish -- to its normal kinda spotty levels). I'm just over 30 days in.
My memory sucked for the first few weeks of sobriety, but now it's back (ish -- to its normal kinda spotty levels). I'm just over 30 days in.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 36
Hi everyone,
I seem to have a lot of the symptoms of PAWS--confusion, racing/repetetive thoughts, my mind is very cluttered--hard to sort out my thoughts, problems with my memory, etc. -- but I did not experience initial alcohol withdrawal, so it's leaving me a little confused as to if I really have it or not. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder last year (I'm still trying to understand this as well... I have heard that alcoholism can mimic bipolar symptoms), and my therapist said she thinks they're more manic-type symptoms. although I didn't experience any of these things while I was still drinking (I've been sober almost 2 months).
Not sure if any of you will have some insight since the bipolar stuff is in the mix, but my primary question is could what I'm experiencing be PAWS without having the initial withdrawal?
I seem to have a lot of the symptoms of PAWS--confusion, racing/repetetive thoughts, my mind is very cluttered--hard to sort out my thoughts, problems with my memory, etc. -- but I did not experience initial alcohol withdrawal, so it's leaving me a little confused as to if I really have it or not. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder last year (I'm still trying to understand this as well... I have heard that alcoholism can mimic bipolar symptoms), and my therapist said she thinks they're more manic-type symptoms. although I didn't experience any of these things while I was still drinking (I've been sober almost 2 months).
Not sure if any of you will have some insight since the bipolar stuff is in the mix, but my primary question is could what I'm experiencing be PAWS without having the initial withdrawal?
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by bellaluna4
Not sure if any of you will have some insight since the bipolar stuff is in the mix, but my primary question is could what I'm experiencing be PAWS without having the initial withdrawal?
part time member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,910
How funny....I thought it was just me! I was sure that the famous Halloween song by Boris Karlof was "Monster Match". Family thought I was crazy then I wondered how crazy was I when I would drink? They said I was much worse....
How Funny! Hope it goes away!
How Funny! Hope it goes away!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by OzSandy
I just started on the Campral. I've been diagnosed with mild bipolar too, and it's confusing - I don't know whether what I'm going through at the moment is stress (I was under a lot last week), bipolar mood or PAWS. Of course stress can intensify bipolar and PAWS. Anyhow, I'm starting with Campral to see how I respond, then going back to see my doctor again in a week. More of my meds may have to be tweaked (right now I'm just on a regular anti-depressant, not a mood stabiliser), but it's one thing at a time.
****
Firstly, more research needs to be done on alcoholism and mental health disorders.
For instance, I was a very health person until I had this alcohol problem.
I'm now clean and suffering from PAW's... I went to my doctor, and she doesn't know anything about PAW's.
If I didn't read about PAW's, I'm certain my doctor would have diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder or depression... I worry that in the past and present, many people are being diagnosed with mental health problems when in actual fact, their brain chemicals are instead 'out of balance' from drinking.
If you suspect you're suffering from PAW's and NOT a mental health disorder, I would recommend seeing a drug and alcohol doctor, who understand PAW's...
You don't want to be taking drugs while your brain chemicals are trying to balance out... otherwise *IN MY OPINION* I think the drugs might interfere with the healing process.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Indian Wells, CA
Posts: 24
Damn! I have a relatively good idea what this feels like. I may not be going through the recovery process yet, but after two or three days without drinking (whether it be mouthwash, hand cleanser, or others) I feel horribly restless, anxious, and agitated so that is near impossible to sleep. I also get snappy and offensive toward my family.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
jophn -
at three years sober,
if I don't get up
meaning get out of bed
the 'right' way....
meaning I can't just jump out of bed
I have to lie there and get oriented...
otherwise,
I'm walking in big swaying steps
that look for all the world like I'm drunk.
That's the damage I was talking about on the other thread.
at three years sober,
if I don't get up
meaning get out of bed
the 'right' way....
meaning I can't just jump out of bed
I have to lie there and get oriented...
otherwise,
I'm walking in big swaying steps
that look for all the world like I'm drunk.
That's the damage I was talking about on the other thread.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Long Island
Posts: 1
Hi There,
I just joined and wanted to let everyone know a few things about PAWS. Also thru my years of research and experience with it. I broke my leg and had back problems for years and on opiates from the doctor. After 7 years on them, got off of them by slowly tapering but went through some nasty PAWS. So I researched it. You all know what the symptoms are. It is like going through withdrawl again and again in some ways. It is your brain not having enough native endorphins to release to balance the epinephrine (adrenaline). That is why clonidine which downgrades the epinephrine response can sometimes help. Therefore, one needs to heal that part of our brain. This is done with abstinence first because any relapse to drugs sometimes can start the clock to healing back at zero. Even though what I am about to tell you is very important, please do not begin or start any therapies until consulting with your doctors.
Start with good nutrition and exercise. Reduce caffiene, sweets and eat a healthy balanced diet. I believe in amino acid therapy, vitamins but only via direction of a health professional.
Now how do we deal with the present PAWS symptoms? I can tell you the best thing to use is low dose naltrexone. It is cheap, safe, with little side effects. It will help heal your endorphins over the next few years. This is not high dose naltrexone but low dose, starting at 2 mg every night at about 9 pm before bed. You cannot be on any opiates within the last ten days, including methadone or suboxone and must stay off of them. Naltrexone is non-addictive and also has added immune boosting qualities. I know continue it for eczema purposes and it works for that too. Ask your doctor about it. It really works the right way and puts you on the path to healing.
It works by cutting off your native endorphin production for about an hour or two while sleeping. You do not notice it. Your brain reacts to this in the morning by overcompensating and producing a 300 times fold of new native endorphins. These have healing properties and a calming effect. You are not high but feel normal.
I wish everyone good luck and let me know how you are doing.
I just joined and wanted to let everyone know a few things about PAWS. Also thru my years of research and experience with it. I broke my leg and had back problems for years and on opiates from the doctor. After 7 years on them, got off of them by slowly tapering but went through some nasty PAWS. So I researched it. You all know what the symptoms are. It is like going through withdrawl again and again in some ways. It is your brain not having enough native endorphins to release to balance the epinephrine (adrenaline). That is why clonidine which downgrades the epinephrine response can sometimes help. Therefore, one needs to heal that part of our brain. This is done with abstinence first because any relapse to drugs sometimes can start the clock to healing back at zero. Even though what I am about to tell you is very important, please do not begin or start any therapies until consulting with your doctors.
Start with good nutrition and exercise. Reduce caffiene, sweets and eat a healthy balanced diet. I believe in amino acid therapy, vitamins but only via direction of a health professional.
Now how do we deal with the present PAWS symptoms? I can tell you the best thing to use is low dose naltrexone. It is cheap, safe, with little side effects. It will help heal your endorphins over the next few years. This is not high dose naltrexone but low dose, starting at 2 mg every night at about 9 pm before bed. You cannot be on any opiates within the last ten days, including methadone or suboxone and must stay off of them. Naltrexone is non-addictive and also has added immune boosting qualities. I know continue it for eczema purposes and it works for that too. Ask your doctor about it. It really works the right way and puts you on the path to healing.
It works by cutting off your native endorphin production for about an hour or two while sleeping. You do not notice it. Your brain reacts to this in the morning by overcompensating and producing a 300 times fold of new native endorphins. These have healing properties and a calming effect. You are not high but feel normal.
I wish everyone good luck and let me know how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Brussels (from Ireland)
Posts: 221
I've been trying to look up information on PAWS here and on the internet as I might have some of the symptoms even though I honestly thought it wouldn't 'happen to me' as I wasn't drinking very heavily... I'd been abusing alcohol (binge drinker) for the last 20 years (am now 38) and when I think about it (the fog has lifted after almost 150 days sober) my memory/concentration/organisation ability has declined a lot, especially over the last 4 years.. Before going sober I noticed that I was forgetting many words or mixing up words (switching them in sentences or in e-mails) - or in a conversation and forgetting what we were just talking about and not remembering names or many events in my past - especially in the pre-drinking days... I was also blackoutting regularly when drinking..
Last week/this weekend I found myself again forgetting/mixing up words and in the middle of conversations and forgetting what I was talking about... I guess I'm wondering if this is PAWS and whether this will get better or maybe it's something else... I also find it hard to concentrate at work and have difficulties to focus or in the last few weeks have forgotten certain things which should have been followed up which is NOT like me!
Anyway, if anyone would have any experience/advice with this I'd be really grateful to hear from you
Hugs,
Almath
Last week/this weekend I found myself again forgetting/mixing up words and in the middle of conversations and forgetting what I was talking about... I guess I'm wondering if this is PAWS and whether this will get better or maybe it's something else... I also find it hard to concentrate at work and have difficulties to focus or in the last few weeks have forgotten certain things which should have been followed up which is NOT like me!
Anyway, if anyone would have any experience/advice with this I'd be really grateful to hear from you
Hugs,
Almath
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by Almath
I've been trying to look up information on PAWS here and on the internet as I might have some of the symptoms even though I honestly thought it wouldn't 'happen to me' as I wasn't drinking very heavily... I'd been abusing alcohol (binge drinker) for the last 20 years (am now 38) and when I think about it (the fog has lifted after almost 150 days sober) my memory/concentration/organisation ability has declined a lot, especially over the last 4 years.. Before going sober I noticed that I was forgetting many words or mixing up words (switching them in sentences or in e-mails) - or in a conversation and forgetting what we were just talking about and not remembering names or many events in my past - especially in the pre-drinking days... I was also blackoutting regularly when drinking..
Last week/this weekend I found myself again forgetting/mixing up words and in the middle of conversations and forgetting what I was talking about... I guess I'm wondering if this is PAWS and whether this will get better or maybe it's something else... I also find it hard to concentrate at work and have difficulties to focus or in the last few weeks have forgotten certain things which should have been followed up which is NOT like me!
Anyway, if anyone would have any experience/advice with this I'd be really grateful to hear from you
Hugs,
Almath
Last week/this weekend I found myself again forgetting/mixing up words and in the middle of conversations and forgetting what I was talking about... I guess I'm wondering if this is PAWS and whether this will get better or maybe it's something else... I also find it hard to concentrate at work and have difficulties to focus or in the last few weeks have forgotten certain things which should have been followed up which is NOT like me!
Anyway, if anyone would have any experience/advice with this I'd be really grateful to hear from you
Hugs,
Almath
i know my grammer in regards to writing is horrible and i also switch/and or leave words out frequently. i have to rewrite most paragraphs i type sometimes 2-3 times before it makes sense. i used to be a very eloquent writer.
I also have a terrible memory and it's effected alot of areas in my life.
i reciently have gone back to my profession (professional illustration) and i've found that i've had to write myself alot of guidelines or "rules to remember" when doing a painting. it just dosen't flow out like it used to. It took me 3 days of doing the same thing over and over before i could do it without thinking again.
it is getting better, but i know i have to write myself alot of notes and just be more aware about the issues.
hope that helps.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Brussels (from Ireland)
Posts: 221
Thank you so much for the reply BullDog and glad to know I'm not 'alone' in this and I think I will start using more reminders/guidelines/checklists.
I've been doing a 'Home Management' course (also personal management) over the last few months and it's been helping me a lot as so many things have 'slipped' in the last few years.. While sorting through my attic recently I found all my old notes/books/study cards when I was studying for exams (which I succeeded) back in 2002 and I can't believe the quality of them...very focussed, structured, clear, etc.. It was quite a shock as it doesn't feel it was 'me' that did them...that's just 8 years ago.. I tried to study (a language for a year) a couple of years ago and ended up quitting towards the end as I had no structure to my work/studies/homework, etc, and I couldn't focus on them and 'knew' I would fail the final exam....
How long have you been sober now?
Anyway, I hope that we will turn a good corner and come out of this in the near future!
Big hugs,
Almath
I've been doing a 'Home Management' course (also personal management) over the last few months and it's been helping me a lot as so many things have 'slipped' in the last few years.. While sorting through my attic recently I found all my old notes/books/study cards when I was studying for exams (which I succeeded) back in 2002 and I can't believe the quality of them...very focussed, structured, clear, etc.. It was quite a shock as it doesn't feel it was 'me' that did them...that's just 8 years ago.. I tried to study (a language for a year) a couple of years ago and ended up quitting towards the end as I had no structure to my work/studies/homework, etc, and I couldn't focus on them and 'knew' I would fail the final exam....
How long have you been sober now?
Anyway, I hope that we will turn a good corner and come out of this in the near future!
Big hugs,
Almath
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
It appears I haven't yet posted this PAWs link - I think it's a good read 
Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma
D
Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma
D
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by Almath
Thank you so much for the reply BullDog and glad to know I'm not 'alone' in this and I think I will start using more reminders/guidelines/checklists.
I've been doing a 'Home Management' course (also personal management) over the last few months and it's been helping me a lot as so many things have 'slipped' in the last few years.. While sorting through my attic recently I found all my old notes/books/study cards when I was studying for exams (which I succeeded) back in 2002 and I can't believe the quality of them...very focussed, structured, clear, etc.. It was quite a shock as it doesn't feel it was 'me' that did them...that's just 8 years ago.. I tried to study (a language for a year) a couple of years ago and ended up quitting towards the end as I had no structure to my work/studies/homework, etc, and I couldn't focus on them and 'knew' I would fail the final exam....
How long have you been sober now?
Anyway, I hope that we will turn a good corner and come out of this in the near future!
Big hugs,
Almath
I've been doing a 'Home Management' course (also personal management) over the last few months and it's been helping me a lot as so many things have 'slipped' in the last few years.. While sorting through my attic recently I found all my old notes/books/study cards when I was studying for exams (which I succeeded) back in 2002 and I can't believe the quality of them...very focussed, structured, clear, etc.. It was quite a shock as it doesn't feel it was 'me' that did them...that's just 8 years ago.. I tried to study (a language for a year) a couple of years ago and ended up quitting towards the end as I had no structure to my work/studies/homework, etc, and I couldn't focus on them and 'knew' I would fail the final exam....
How long have you been sober now?
Anyway, I hope that we will turn a good corner and come out of this in the near future!
Big hugs,
Almath
I use Dec. 23 as my first day of sobriety because it was the first date i was symptom free of any physical withdrawal of any kind.
Even as i write this, i've had to re-write this first couple of sentences 2-3 times because because it made no sense the first 2 times i wrote it.
it seems to be at it's worst in the morning, but slowly improves through out the day
it is getting aslot better though.
When I first got sober, i had a great deal of difficulty even speaking clearly. I felt really dumb...alot. Now, i can speak very clearly, and most of my difficulty resides in my grammar and spelling. That too, is slowly improving.
I think the part of my brain that has suffered the most is my recall and mathmatical skills. I used to be able to do advanced mathmetics in my head...now, it seems like i can't add or subtract unless i have 4 oranges and then take one away and then recount them to get 3. :rotfxko
Then comes the memory...like i said in my first entry, i leave myself alot of guidelines and checklists.
Sometimes it makes me feel dumb or sad that it came to this, but mostly, i try to find the humor in it all.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by BullDog777
Since December 23 of 2009. However, i actually quit using drugs in October.
I use Dec. 23 as my first day of sobriety because it was the first date i was symptom free of any physical withdrawal of any kind.
Even as i write this, i've had to re-write this first couple of sentences 2-3 times because because it made no sense the first 2 times i wrote it.
it seems to be at it's worst in the morning, but slowly improves through out the day
it is getting aslot better though.
When I first got sober, i had a great deal of difficulty even speaking clearly. I felt really dumb...alot. Now, i can speak very clearly, and most of my difficulty resides in my grammar and spelling. That too, is slowly improving.
I think the part of my brain that has suffered the most is my recall and mathmatical skills. I used to be able to do advanced mathmetics in my head...now, it seems like i can't add or subtract unless i have 4 oranges and then take one away and then recount them to get 3. :rotfxko
Then comes the memory...like i said in my first entry, i leave myself alot of guidelines and checklists.
Sometimes it makes me feel dumb or sad that it came to this, but mostly, i try to find the humor in it all.
I use Dec. 23 as my first day of sobriety because it was the first date i was symptom free of any physical withdrawal of any kind.
Even as i write this, i've had to re-write this first couple of sentences 2-3 times because because it made no sense the first 2 times i wrote it.
it seems to be at it's worst in the morning, but slowly improves through out the day
it is getting aslot better though.
When I first got sober, i had a great deal of difficulty even speaking clearly. I felt really dumb...alot. Now, i can speak very clearly, and most of my difficulty resides in my grammar and spelling. That too, is slowly improving.
I think the part of my brain that has suffered the most is my recall and mathmatical skills. I used to be able to do advanced mathmetics in my head...now, it seems like i can't add or subtract unless i have 4 oranges and then take one away and then recount them to get 3. :rotfxko
Then comes the memory...like i said in my first entry, i leave myself alot of guidelines and checklists.
Sometimes it makes me feel dumb or sad that it came to this, but mostly, i try to find the humor in it all.
example: it is getting aslot better though. REALLY? aslot? HAHAHAHA :rotfxko
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Sometimes I drive to work and it's so routine, same way, same road, that I forget where I am! Which part of the route to my work so I have to look around to check how far I've come.
I keep forgetting on Thursday that it's not Friday.
I'm so into going through the same routine every day that anything that interferes with that, even like picking up my prescription is so darn annoying I have to plan it a few days ahead to get it "fit" in to my routine.
I keep forgetting on Thursday that it's not Friday.
I'm so into going through the same routine every day that anything that interferes with that, even like picking up my prescription is so darn annoying I have to plan it a few days ahead to get it "fit" in to my routine.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
When I first heard of PAWS, I was skeptical. Skeptical that there was such a thing, and even if there was, I didn't have it...
LOL
I had read the criteria to make the diagnoses of PAWS and I really didn't meet it. So, strictly speaking, I didn't, have it.
But man... the racing thoughts, this buzz in my head that would not just go away... And some of the stuff I dealt with was situational... I could work in my job that requires a high level of intellectual functioning... but I could not watch a movie, read the newspaper and could only read recovery related material... and it was worse on certain days and it was bad in the morning... just this whirling around and around... and early on there was a profound emotional component.
I thought it was shame/trauma/guilt from what happened when my bottom and I collided... It might have been... but I often wonder if there was a PAWS component.
So there is my 2 cents..
LOL
I had read the criteria to make the diagnoses of PAWS and I really didn't meet it. So, strictly speaking, I didn't, have it.
But man... the racing thoughts, this buzz in my head that would not just go away... And some of the stuff I dealt with was situational... I could work in my job that requires a high level of intellectual functioning... but I could not watch a movie, read the newspaper and could only read recovery related material... and it was worse on certain days and it was bad in the morning... just this whirling around and around... and early on there was a profound emotional component.
I thought it was shame/trauma/guilt from what happened when my bottom and I collided... It might have been... but I often wonder if there was a PAWS component.
So there is my 2 cents..
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