Klimber

Decided to register today. 37 years old and having been drinking since I was 14. Not heavily until about the age of 28. Around 32 I moved to Whiskey and Vodka and would drink 1/4 - 1/2 bottle per night pretty much every night. I've had high blood pressure since I started the heavy drinking and this past Tuesday the doc told me that it appears I have an irritated liver and very high triglycerides and they need to do more tests - Ultrasound scheduled for this Friday. It's strange, inside I was actually hoping to hear this news as I knew it would have much more of an impact on me and force me to quit. I recently came clean to the doc about everything and boy was it a big relief. He's offered assistance if I need but I want to make a go of it myself first. I am able to quit for 2-3 weeks no problem but always seem to come back to it. AA is unfortunately not an option for me.

Just thought I'd share my story. This news has had a big impact on how I used to rationalize my drinking. Not to mention the though of my wife and kids losing me for something so trivial and avoidable.

ManchurianC

Hello Klimber

I only stated trying to quit in October 2007 (I'm on day 20 now). Like you I get to about 3 weeks quit, and then convince myself I am being silly, that I'm not an alcoholic and I can drink as little or as much as I want.

AA is not for me either. But hanging around here (these forums) seems to top up my determination. There are some meetings in Second Life, the computer game (it is free to join and there are usually a few meeting per day). Never tried it, but someone said it helped them a lot.

Anyway, good luck and I hope you manage to quit for good.

Tazman53

Look there are many ways to skin a cat, why are you limiting yourself? I spent 10 extra years drunk because I had to do it my way! Are you willing to do that by limiting yourself? There are a lot of recovery programs around, but none of them work unless you work them and a major part of recovery is a willingness to go to any length to get and stay sober.

The hardest part is staying stopped, this is where recovery programs become crucial, because alcholism is a mental, physical, and spiritual disease. All programs of recovery involve a great deal of self analysis, soul searching and change, without that if you stay sober you wind up with white knuckle sobriety, I did that for a year and a half years ago, and finally threw in the towel and drank another 28 years.

Find a program of recovery, going it alone is almost impossible, for most people it is.

Spiritual Seeker

Thinking you can control it by yourself and that AA is not an option are two good reasons to stay in your disease of alcoholism.
A desire to quit however, is a good place to be.
Wishing you the very best on your journey to a better life.

Klimber

I know going it alone will not suffice. I have been looking at other recovery programs (didn't know about the 2nd life program) via the web and changing my lifestyle to react to the knowledge that at such a young age I have harmed my body.

Sharing my information with the doctor and now with you folks seems to allow me to better reflect on my own choices and obtain a clearer picture of what I am doing to myself.

gypsytears

Hi and welcome Klimber . There's a lot of good info, advice and support here at SR. Not everyone uses AA so I'm sure you'll find it useful once you start reading and posting more.

grateful2b

Welcome aboard, Klimber...glad you finally posted! keep coming back, there is a ton of advice and a world of compassion and and some brutal truth thrown in for good measure on these boards. Good luck on whatever path you choose to recovery.
grateful

bonsai12

If this drinking of yours was so trivial and avoidable then why do you go back to it every 2-3 weeks? Why is it that your liver is irritated your triglycerides are so high? Any normal drinker I have ever met has never been to the Dr. for problems related to alcohol. Physicals and flu shots my friend not ultrasounds and liver problems. AA’s been working for me since Jun 28 2007. I got a sponsor and we went over the steps together and I don’t drink anymore. It’s not easy but it beats what you’re going through.

You mentioned your wife and kids losing you? Where do you think they have been for the last five years while you were pounding ½ bottle a night, resting peaceably in bed?

I hope the news you receive Friday concerning your health is favorable.

Klimber

bonsai - I absolutely agree with you. What I meant to say though was that the condition I have gotten myself into is/was avoidable and I am by no means implying that stopping drinking is trivial. It is something I bring upon myself. I am the one who ultimately picks up the drink and bears the responsibility. I feel that the news I received from the doctor is motivating in a way I have never really considered. I knew there were harmful effects from drinking heavily. Now these harmful effects have caught up with me. They're here.

This is primarily why I joined today. I have been lurking for so long but now I have a powerful tool that cannot (hopefully) be denied by my irrational thought - namely, the test results from my blood workup. In the past, I have spent so much time drawing analogies between the stories I read here and my own and looking for ways to justify or evaluate how bad my drinking has become. I ask myself if I am overreacting or not... I now have the answer. I joined because I want to become active in my fight and use SR as another tool to guide me back. Sorry if I'm rambling... this is the first time I am confronting some of these issues.

lovingseren

Welcome Klimber

There are many ways to sobriety we have to find the one that works for us. Many use AA, many don't.
Watch out for "stinking" thinking and over thinking, be mindful of how your mind is working and rationalising. Comparing is not useful to recovery.
Good Luck to you as you take charge of your life, your thinking and your attitude.

Seren

Aa_vark

welcome klimber

Klimber

Bonzai - I just decided (at the very last moment) I was going to tell everything to the doc. I figured once it's out there, there's no more denying the problem. I have also kept my wife well-informed. Not that denial was really a big part of my drinking habit, but dealing with how it was negatively affecting me was.

It's a strange thing to know that you are making yourself sick and you rationalize as something else or not related at all to drinking. I was a very healthy/active person but the last 5 years have been terrible for me.

nandm

Klimber, the triglycerides can easily be accounted for with the alcohol intake. Mine were over 800 when I was drinking, if I remember correctly they prefer triglycerides be less than 120. Today mine are within the normal range without any medication. Mine were that high even with lipitor to reduce them while I was drinking.

Overall health does improve in sobriety although some days it doesn't feel like it because we actually start learning to listen to our bodies so we feel things that we never realized were going on prior to getting sober.

You are at the start of a great journey. I hope you stick around with us for a while on that journey. Thanks for sharing in our noon meeting today.

Judith

bonsai12

I happy for you, I'm glad you decided to clean house. I took considerable interest in your thread, I'm 38 and have been drinking since about 12. I hope the Doctor does his job and sends you to us we could use a few good men. I only say that about the Doctor because I already know what the Doctors Opinion is. Stick around

CarolD

Glad you decided to post....

Please see if this link has something for you

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

Welcome to SR!

scorpy

I will be sober for an entire year on the 18th, and no AA. You need to find the best method for you and don't be pressured or forced into a treatment that you feel unsuitable for your circumstances, and that, you will set yourself up for failure. Good luck.

ManchurianC

To explain a bit more -- The meetings in Second Life are AA format. They follow the 12 Steps of AA. I mentioned it in case a virtual meeting might be the thing for you, and might help you to decide if 'real life' AA meetings are the way forward.

I was not ganging up with you on AA (if that appears the case to others), even though the AA is not for me.

bonsai12

Can I ask you this? Please I'm just trying to understand if you go to another program that follows the 12 steps wouldnt it just make more sence just to go to AA the origional. All these different takes on the 12 steps the only one that appears to be of any benifit numbers wise are AA and Al-anon. It was just an observation, I am partial to AA I have been sober 7 months (almost) and it works. I got to go talk again tomorrow, thanks for your help...

nandm

LOL, made me picture the difference between name brand and generic items. AA being the name brand and the other 12 step programs generic versions. Sometimes generics can be as good as the original but some times they are just a very poor imitation. Have to be careful to make sure you are getting quality.

nolonger

Hi Klimber,
sounds like a nasty wake up call alright, with the blood tests and everything. Welcome to (active) SR. Good luck with staying away from drinking and with finding a way out of the destructive desire to drink. There are lots of ways.
NL