Lucky 13th?
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: DFW Texas
Posts: 68
Lucky 13th?
Well, today, 1/13/08, makes my 7th day straight of sobriety. Seven is usually lucky right..? Along the same lines I have been sober 21 out of the past 28 days. However, the 15 days sober before the last week I drank I did not feel the same. It may have been a good quantity of time, relatively speaking, without the bottle, but it certainly was not quality time. Reason being I was sober, but I hadn't made any decisions to change my ways of life. I was bitter, hateful, resentful and downright angry at God for not helping me. I expected God to just jump in and miraculously cure me without having to exert any effort on my part. After all, he is God. Well, this past week I had an experience after reading through step 3, and this time I feel different, unlike I've felt the last 15 days I quit, or any time I have quit before and I made the decision to turn my will and life over to God. The days since I have done this, I have felt free and as if a burden has been lifted. My fear is that this may be the calm before the storm. Yesterday I had decided to take a personal inventory, but didn't and am still not sure exactly how to do it and be thorough. In my rough draft that I had written down, it was very evident that pride is the major issue in my life. Well I came home yesterday after work and read the exerpt for the day in my daily guideposts, and as luck would have it, it was about pride. I got off work this morning, beginning to feel scared that this is the calm before the storm. I drove home and turned down my road, and at the store on the corner there was a big sign saying we now sell beer and wine. I live in an area where you have to drive 30+ minutes to get any alcohol. I thought to myself....this is just what I need now.....when I have decided to really do this....I waited to feel that craving, that obsession, but nothing happened. I didn't feel anything......I'm still scared that this may be the calm before the storm.....I just came in the house and picked up my daily guideposts and read the passage for the day......guess what.....it was about fear. The story in this one was about a proud grandfather of his 21 month old grandson learning his first bible verse.....as the son of the grandfather listened on the other line, very skeptical that a 21 month old could say anything more complicated than asking for a cookie, the grandfather prompted the kid by saying "Be not- and the little boy in his small voice said "Fwaid"......"Be not afraid" What a wonderful first lesson for a small child or an alcoholic looking for sobriety and experiencing fear to trust a loving and caring God......The thought for the day was that through God, all things are possible, even a toddler's memory verse.
Just thought I would share. Although the obsession/craving has not come back yet, I am still scared that I may not know what to do if and when the obsession/craving comes back eventhough I have put my trust in powers greater than myself. Does anyone have any additional tips and words of advice for me so I can do this this time? Thanks in advance.
Just thought I would share. Although the obsession/craving has not come back yet, I am still scared that I may not know what to do if and when the obsession/craving comes back eventhough I have put my trust in powers greater than myself. Does anyone have any additional tips and words of advice for me so I can do this this time? Thanks in advance.
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Today, make a decision that you are full of booze; just for today. Go to a meeting, get to a movie, live and enjoy your freedom. Turning over your life to a greater power is awesome, yet you are responsible for what needs to happen today. Today is for living since you are no longer a prisoner to Alcohol.
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sacramento
Posts: 28
Congratulations on your 7 days. The reading is great isn't it? I too always find something I can say wow!
It scares me too worrying if I will be an AA retread as I have heard it referred to. I was never one of those people during all my other relapses because I didn't go to meetings, I didn't try, I wasn't ready. Now I am.
I sat at a meeting two nights ago listening to people talk about relapsing after having years of sobriety in the program. That is a hard message to swallow, and can be very disheartening. The saving grace is they knew the only thing that would get them back on track is to come through those doors. One woman was only able to do this by avoiding her home meeting because of the shame admitting she relapsed. so she went geographic. But at least she went.
I have 8 days today and dreamt last night that I relapsed. I was very grateful it was just a dream.
Just take it one day at a time and remember all the terrible things that have happened while drinking.
I went into a pet shop on Thursday night to buy my son some water turtles, and to my horror the man behind the counter asked me if I go to the liquor store up the street. I couldn't breath. I said I had been there a few times, he said he saw me, he probably even spoke to me, but I don't remember. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I'm tired of people remembering me as the drunk chick. People coming up to me wherever and saying hey, remember me from the bar? I don't remember anyone.
Maybe god put that "now selling beer and wine" at the store to remind you of what you don't want every time you drive by.
Obsessions or not, we have a choice. If we make a conscious decision to choose sobriety, then we have won half the battle.
Every time I relapsed, I chose to do it, I convinced myself I deserved it. Now I obsess over choosing sobriety and I will be damned if anything gets in the way.
Every day I wake up, I remember how important it is to me to stay sober. The day seems long learning how to for the first time live sober, but each day is a miraculous accomplishment.
It scares me too worrying if I will be an AA retread as I have heard it referred to. I was never one of those people during all my other relapses because I didn't go to meetings, I didn't try, I wasn't ready. Now I am.
I sat at a meeting two nights ago listening to people talk about relapsing after having years of sobriety in the program. That is a hard message to swallow, and can be very disheartening. The saving grace is they knew the only thing that would get them back on track is to come through those doors. One woman was only able to do this by avoiding her home meeting because of the shame admitting she relapsed. so she went geographic. But at least she went.
I have 8 days today and dreamt last night that I relapsed. I was very grateful it was just a dream.
Just take it one day at a time and remember all the terrible things that have happened while drinking.
I went into a pet shop on Thursday night to buy my son some water turtles, and to my horror the man behind the counter asked me if I go to the liquor store up the street. I couldn't breath. I said I had been there a few times, he said he saw me, he probably even spoke to me, but I don't remember. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I'm tired of people remembering me as the drunk chick. People coming up to me wherever and saying hey, remember me from the bar? I don't remember anyone.
Maybe god put that "now selling beer and wine" at the store to remind you of what you don't want every time you drive by.
Obsessions or not, we have a choice. If we make a conscious decision to choose sobriety, then we have won half the battle.
Every time I relapsed, I chose to do it, I convinced myself I deserved it. Now I obsess over choosing sobriety and I will be damned if anything gets in the way.
Every day I wake up, I remember how important it is to me to stay sober. The day seems long learning how to for the first time live sober, but each day is a miraculous accomplishment.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
redstuff I assume you are doing the steps with a sponsor, because they were never intended to be done without one. Read tep 5 and ask your self who the "another human being" might be? I can attest that I did all 12 steps by myself and continued to drink because I was not taken through them by someone who knew what being sober was
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Are you aware of H.A.L.T.?
Each time I relapsed at least 2 elements were present.
Don't allow yourself to become too
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
When and if you again find mental obcession pops up
Pray it away!
Each time I relapsed at least 2 elements were present.
Don't allow yourself to become too
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
When and if you again find mental obcession pops up
Pray it away!
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: DFW Texas
Posts: 68
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
redstuff I assume you are doing the steps with a sponsor, because they were never intended to be done without one. Read tep 5 and ask your self who the "another human being" might be? I can attest that I did all 12 steps by myself and continued to drink because I was not taken through them by someone who knew what being sober was
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sacramento
Posts: 28
Yes Carol so true do not be hungry.
There was many a day I would purposly NOT eat to intensify the high of alcohol, and I would end up being s smashed I wouldnt even eat at all. Those were the worst days of my drinking. Something bad always seemed to happen.
Lonely is a tough one because for myself, I isolated so well for so many years I don't even know what lonely feels like. I need to learn to not isolate so much, and meetings are helping with that.
So red, carol gave some good advice there, trust me.
There was many a day I would purposly NOT eat to intensify the high of alcohol, and I would end up being s smashed I wouldnt even eat at all. Those were the worst days of my drinking. Something bad always seemed to happen.
Lonely is a tough one because for myself, I isolated so well for so many years I don't even know what lonely feels like. I need to learn to not isolate so much, and meetings are helping with that.
So red, carol gave some good advice there, trust me.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
redstuff the best way to start off is to ask someone to be your temporary sponsor, that is the way a lot of folks start off. Asking someone to be your temporary sponsor basically leaves both of you with a very easy way out if things are not going well.
A temporary sponsor made a huge difference for me, he kept me sober long enough to get my sponsor I have now. He helped me find my sponsor.
A temporary sponsor made a huge difference for me, he kept me sober long enough to get my sponsor I have now. He helped me find my sponsor.
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Originally Posted by Tazman53
redstuff the best way to start off is to ask someone to be your temporary sponsor, that is the way a lot of folks start off. Asking someone to be your temporary sponsor basically leaves both of you with a very easy way out if things are not going well.
A temporary sponsor made a huge difference for me, he kept me sober long enough to get my sponsor I have now. He helped me find my sponsor.
A temporary sponsor made a huge difference for me, he kept me sober long enough to get my sponsor I have now. He helped me find my sponsor.
Anyone know a good temporary or permanent sponsor prospect?
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
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I have a feeling that is what is happening!!! LOL
Oaky as a part of your temporary sponsorship team I highly reccommend when you go to that meeting, get there about 15 minutes early and talk to who ever is there setting up/making coffee. Just say "Hi I am redstuff and this is my first meeting." Let everything flow from there, beleive it or not you may have just spoke the first words ever to a friend for life!!!!
Suggestion #2, get some phone numbers if they don't stick them in your hands before you ask. Now I will tell you this, if someone gives you thier phone number it is for one reason and one reason only! It is because they would love for you to call them!!! You see when you call them you are helping them stay sober.
Read the "Doctors Opinion".
Hugs!
Oaky as a part of your temporary sponsorship team I highly reccommend when you go to that meeting, get there about 15 minutes early and talk to who ever is there setting up/making coffee. Just say "Hi I am redstuff and this is my first meeting." Let everything flow from there, beleive it or not you may have just spoke the first words ever to a friend for life!!!!
Suggestion #2, get some phone numbers if they don't stick them in your hands before you ask. Now I will tell you this, if someone gives you thier phone number it is for one reason and one reason only! It is because they would love for you to call them!!! You see when you call them you are helping them stay sober.
Read the "Doctors Opinion".
Hugs!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: DFW Texas
Posts: 68
Originally Posted by Tazman53
I have a feeling that is what is happening!!! LOL
Oaky as a part of your temporary sponsorship team I highly reccommend when you go to that meeting, get there about 15 minutes early and talk to who ever is there setting up/making coffee. Just say "Hi I am redstuff and this is my first meeting." Let everything flow from there, beleive it or not you may have just spoke the first words ever to a friend for life!!!!
Suggestion #2, get some phone numbers if they don't stick them in your hands before you ask. Now I will tell you this, if someone gives you thier phone number it is for one reason and one reason only! It is because they would love for you to call them!!! You see when you call them you are helping them stay sober.
Read the "Doctors Opinion".
Hugs!
Oaky as a part of your temporary sponsorship team I highly reccommend when you go to that meeting, get there about 15 minutes early and talk to who ever is there setting up/making coffee. Just say "Hi I am redstuff and this is my first meeting." Let everything flow from there, beleive it or not you may have just spoke the first words ever to a friend for life!!!!
Suggestion #2, get some phone numbers if they don't stick them in your hands before you ask. Now I will tell you this, if someone gives you thier phone number it is for one reason and one reason only! It is because they would love for you to call them!!! You see when you call them you are helping them stay sober.
Read the "Doctors Opinion".
Hugs!
Where is this "Doctors Opinion"?
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Originally Posted by redstuff
Thanks, I got a feeling if I say "Hi I'm redstuff....." that would probably break the ice and result in spontaneous laughter. Perhaps I'll use my real name......This will likely be the first time I've never had trouble getting phone numbers. Sure would have been nice to receive the same reaction when I was going to the bar looking for a date. Probably a good reason why I am here now
Where is this "Doctors Opinion"?
Where is this "Doctors Opinion"?
In the current edition (4th) - it comes after the Foreward to the Fourth edition. I don't know the exact roman numeral off the top of my head. But the chapter is titled "The Doctor's Opinion".
If you have any questions, post em up here or PM me. I am pretty familiar with it.
~A
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Oh yea another thing in regards to phone numbers, get numbers of your own gender!
In the first year of sobriety relationships are not a very good idea, for many of us it takes about a year for us to really get our heads screwed back on straight! LOL
Unless something is a major trigger for drinking one should avoid major changes of any type in the first year of sobriety.
Ones primary focus for the first year should be recovery. Recovery is not easy, but the rewards of it are life giving and well worth it.
For right now focus on your sobriety and finding support from those of the same gender. I have heard that many women in the program have a difficult time in learning to trust other women, but this is crucial. Us men are pretty dumb, we trust darn near anyone, especially when we are drinking or we trust no one!
In the first year of sobriety relationships are not a very good idea, for many of us it takes about a year for us to really get our heads screwed back on straight! LOL
Unless something is a major trigger for drinking one should avoid major changes of any type in the first year of sobriety.
Ones primary focus for the first year should be recovery. Recovery is not easy, but the rewards of it are life giving and well worth it.
For right now focus on your sobriety and finding support from those of the same gender. I have heard that many women in the program have a difficult time in learning to trust other women, but this is crucial. Us men are pretty dumb, we trust darn near anyone, especially when we are drinking or we trust no one!
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
I have personally witnessed many men taking women through the steps and women taking men through the steps. I have seen these people recover.
Why limit ourselves to 1/2 of the population available?
I cannot tie the gender issue, or relationship issue back to the text....
Why limit ourselves to 1/2 of the population available?
I cannot tie the gender issue, or relationship issue back to the text....
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