Tazman53

Dan I have a feeling Spirtual Seeker was not being nasty when they said that, I could be wrong, but if you are anything like me some times we need a little prod to get headed in the direction we need to go.

I know when I was in detox they told us at least 4 or 5 times every day "If you want a chance to stay sober go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor!"

The day I got out my councelor asked me "Are you going to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor?" I told him I would go to as many meetings as I could and get a sponsor, but there was no way I could go to 90 AA meetings in 90 days, I had a family and worked full time!

He asked me "Promise me you will just spend as much time in AA as you did drinking." Well he had me there!!!! LOL I did a lot more then 90 meetings in 90 days and I got a sponsor.

Just putting half the time I put into drinking has kept me happy and free of alcohol.

tkdan

How can anyone know the truth about me besides God and myself. The truth is I could have easily lied and said I went to a meeting but that would do me no good. I don't expect people to tell me only what I want to hear I don't live in a fantasy world were everything is blissful and joyous. If I wanted to make excusses I would still be drinking, and I would not be coming here for encouragement. If I was looking for an excuss not to go I could easily say well if this is how the people in AA are I don't want any part of it. In the martial arts honesty and respect are something we strive for. I'm being honest, and I'm trying to treat others with respect. I have no problem with someone being honest with me as long as they do it with respect.
Yes I have been talking about it a lot lately which for me is an improvement. In the past I would not have even considered it. I was dead set on not not ever attending AA. The fact that I realize it is to be vital to my sobriety is an extreme turn around for me. To get to this point took a lot on my part. I had to admit I'm not all that, I can't handle this on my own, all my discipline means nothing when it comes to this disease. Not everyone is extroverted. What may be a friendly nudge to one could be a push away to another. I have made my decision to go, just because I did not do it right away does not mean I'm not going to do it. I'm sorry that I came across so hostile it was not respectful or positive and for that I apologize.

sugErspun

Making a decision to do something and actually doing it are two completely different things.

Spiritual Seeker had a point and you have a point. Don't try to keep people here hostage by saying they may push you away from AA through their attempts to encourage you to take action on your decisions. It's not fair to you, nor them.

Do or Do Not - there is not try. I am sure there is a parallel in the martial arts.


As far as "How can anyone know the truth about me besides God and myself." . God shows himself through other people in my life on a continous basis. Without other people I am doomed. Even if I don't necessarily agree with everything they say. If you are on the level with God that you think his will for you is clear and no one else could possibly have any insight on the situation, you may want to reconsider your concept of God. As soon as we have him (as a concept) nailed down, we become him. I constantly need to be open for a new experience with God. Sometimes that experience and my will don't exactly see eye to eye.

The best way to conquer fear is to walk through it. I am sure you have experience with this in the past. Going to a meeting (if you truly want to), can be a very scary thing. I understand. The door is there, and it's open. Walk through it.

tkdan

I was not attempting to hold anyone hostage. When I said that could push some away I was not referrng to myself. I simply meant it is a possibility with some people and something to consider when doing so. Through my four years serving as a youth/associate pastor I had much experience with God working through others. I believe it was God working through many on this site to change my mind about AA to begin with. I apologized for my response I see no reason to continue to beat me up over it. I'm not an infant I know that making a decision to do something and actually doing it are two different things, but one has to make the decision first in order to do it at all.

Miss Pink

Sugar...you remind me of the step 3 story.....

3 frogs sitting on a log....2 of them made the decision to jump to freedom, away from the alligators...how many are left?

3....none jumped.....they had just made the *decison*...didnt take the action.

Zoobear

Good luck tkdan. I wish you well.

Jomey

Hey Dan - Good for you that you are planning to attend the meeting. I think all the good folks posting here are trying to encourage you...I think that because a few months back I was posting just like you are now...sharing the "I think I might", "I want to go", "can't find a meeting" ...really, your posts are just like mine. And, dang, was I nervous about going. And boy, was I ticked off when folks here told me to get going. I resented the remarks as pushy, arrogant, know-it-all.....except now with the perspective of time and a little bit of sobriety, I can see they were right and see why they said what they did. You may just see it the same way. Try not to take offense. And please, because we do care, let us know when you go. It will be great!

tkdan

Pink I'm sorry but your math has an error. There are two frogs left on that log because this frog jumped or should I say stepped through that door tonight at 6:00 PM. God works in funny ways. Before I called to get a list of meetings I thought to myself if there is not an open meeting at the time and place that suits me it will have to wait another day. There were six meetings at three different locations all of them were open discussion. So much for finding a way out of it. It was not near as stressful walking in there as I thought it would be. I did pray all the way there that I would have the courage to step through the door. Once through the door I was fine it was a pretty laid back group. The only negative is the meetings at this location are not smoke free. That is too bad because I did like the people. I will find another one that is smoke free. No offense to smokers but I'm not about to quit drinking only to die from second hand smoke. I was surprised at how many were there because they had to be to meet their probation agreement. I did not share I only listened. The discussion was about not closing the door on the past. I heard some interesting stories. I also heard many positive things about the program from those that have been sober forever. It was good. I did have a fear that I would hate because I considered it my last hope at finding a way to remain sober. I really enjoyed it I'm so glad I went. Thanks to SR I don't think I would have ever considered it if it were not for you folks here. :bbd:

CarolD

Dan!

lostvoices

Hi I am new to this. I don't have much backing with me for friends/loved ones. I know I drink way to much to drown the voices. All I learned is they can drink more and more, I'm writing because the last time I went overboard it was almost my last. I made the decision to goto a meeting tomm night...does anyone have thoughts for a hurting guy who doesn't know what to do to believe??? Thank u, an I wish you all greatness.

CarolD

Good to see a new member
Welcome to SR!

Sooo....it this your first go round
with sobriety and recovery?

Please keep posting ...we do understand

Pinkcuda

You want something to believe? Believe this.
(1) We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
(2) We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
(3) We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
(4) No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
(5) That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
(6) We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
(7) Self-seeking will slip away.
(8) Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
(9) Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
(10) We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
(11) We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
(12) Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

tanyapmc

What part of Tx are you in? I go to meetings in the Houston area. and they are ALL non smoking

Tazman53

Dan that is fantastic, I am surprised there are still smoking meetings, I have to assume the meeting was in a Clubhouse to have allowed smoking, I smoked for my first year of sobriety, I quit on my anniversary of quitting the booze. Even when I smoked I did not like smoking inside.

The court ordered folks some times get it and stay sober, but usually they either are not alcoholics or are not ready to quit. I think the courts send them there hoping to let them know there is a way to quit when they are ready.

Just walking through that door the first time is the hardest thing 99% of us in AA have ever done, my biggest fear once I got through that door was "What am I going to do if I do not drink?" My wifes only complaint about my sobriety today is that I stay to busy!!!! LOL Between work, AA, doing things with the family and the gym I have a very full plate and am happy as a lark. I have more to do then I ever imagined possible.

For some reason I thought I had to share, my sponsor explained to me that I really should just sit and listen, that I would learn more that way! LOL He was right, I learned so much more by simply listening and not sitting there and thinking about what great pearl of wisdom I was going to share on sobriety when I did not even have 2 or 3 months of it and there were people sharing that had years of sobriety!!! When I listened I learned.

One of the hardest things for this alcoholic to do was to learn to follow suggestions, any thing that was not my idea or I felt the least bit uncomfortable about I fought tooth and nail!!!! Especially when it came to not drinking. Once I quit fighting and started following suggestions from those who knew how to stay sober things got so much better! One thing I have also learned is I have gained far more from doing things that I felt uncomfortable about then things I was perfectly comfortable with.

Dan I am ecstatic that you got into the rooms and liked it, just to prepare you, you are going to hear some one say something that is really out there or that may offend you, jsut keep in mind that AA is a cross section of every walk of people in the world and sadly that includes some sickos and butt holes! Keep in mind that when you leave a meeting to take what you want and need and leave the rest behind. Just because some one has 20 years sober does not mean they can not still be obnoxious!

Lostvoices welcome to SR, here you will find the backing that can get you onto the right track if you are willing. Your sobriety is not for others, it is for you, your sobriety can lead to being helpful to others though.

I can tell you that my pain started to go away when I stopped drinking and started to go to AA. The steps, especially steps 4 & 5, stopped the hurting for me, the steps combined led to my obsession to drink to be lifted.

You mentioned going to a meeting, why not go? Pick up the phone book and look up your local AA hotline and give them a buzz, they will be more then happy to put you onto some meetings and if you need a ride or would like someone to meet you they can arrange that to.

tkdan

Thanks all. Hey Tanya I'm in he Victoria area and I probably picked the only meeting that has smoking. I did not expect it because we have a city ordinance of no smoking in public buildings. It is ok, that meeting served its purpose it got me through the door. It was funny when I walked up to my wife she said I smelled like I used to when people could smoke in bars here.

User_Name

SR is how I got the final push I needed to go to AA also. Congratulations Dan. This is truly a huge step for you, I am glad that you decided to do one of the hardest things in AA, which is going for the first time. Once people go to know me I really enjoyed meetings, since that's where all my friends are.

Congratulations again, it takes guts to ask for help.

Tazman53

There is a saying in the rooms of AA which goes something like this:

"The only AA meeting any one is late to is the first one."

I was about 10 years late to mine!

tkdan

In that case Taz I was pretty late for mine too. I did follow someones advise and show up a little early before a lot of people arrived and maybe have a chance to meet a few people before it started. That worked good for me. I have another meeting I will attend either tonight or tomorrow night. I'm supposed to start a new class for black belt candidates which will run late on Tuesday and Thursday but I'm not sure whether I start tonight or later down the road. All I know is now that I've taken that step I need to find a regular meeting and get with it. I never thought I would hear myself say that.

Tazman53

I was in Tae Kwon Do for a number of years, I loved it, I may get back into it if the gym does not seem to cut the mustard for me.
Me either!!!

Zoobear

Tkdan I know you will do well. Taking that first walk through the door shows that you can face your fears and move forward. I'm proud of ya!:bounce
When you do find the meeting you want to call your home-group show up a little early and stay a little late. Offer to make the coffee. (AA coffee pots are magic you know)
Good luck!:ghug