NoMoBeer

American Spirit -- thank you for keeping an open mind and letting 'that power which is greater than you' (I won't call Him God yet ;-) go to work....

YOU did the first step, but admitting that you are powerless over alcohol, and life is unmanageable enough to get you into AA to at least start the journey...

Thanks to you, thanks to the wonderful women who were there with you, and thanks to that Higher Power -- there is a reason you are here in AA -- don't leave before the miracle happens!

Please feel free to PM me or contact me with any questions. Don't get to Sacramento much, but do get to the Bay Area and still have not gotten to go to meetings up there yet!!!! One of these days...

Remember -- just for today...

Ken

Cathy31

Well done I'm so proud of you keep coming back!

It works if you work it - so work it, you're WORTH IT!

Tazman53

AmericanSpirit I am very glad you took that scary step, I know I was scared as heck to walk through them doors, I thought it was the end when I opened them.

Walking through the doors of AA was an end, it was the end of years spent walking in my own personal hell of alcoholism! It was the beginning of a beautiful new life, it was far from being easy at first, there were some really tough times I went through, but the meetings, the people in the meetings that I called, those I met with for coffee, they saved my life. My sponsors who helped me through the steps, the steps led me to freedom and joy!!!!!

Go to the meetings and listen to the suggestions given keeping in mind that those suggestions are what kept many other alcoholics sober and happy. Keep an open mind and remember you will run into an occasinal jerk in AA, but focus on the good and life will become good.

Just stay sober today, go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps, get phone numbers of other women in AA and call them! Trust me no one is going to give you thier phone number unless they want you to call them. You see when you call another alcoholic in AA you are helping them stay sober just as much as they are helping you.

AmericanSpirit

I recieved lots of phone numbers, asked the ladies to please put stars by their names to let me know who was there tonight, less than half on the phone list. One gal in particular is my age, and going through the exact thing that brought me here! she called me to see if I got home OK. We plan on staying in touch to help eachother when need be.

They told me I had already begun working through the first step. It felt so good to finally be able to accept I am powerless, there are no excuses, or rationalising, or blaming, it is quit drinking or die a slow (maybe fast in some cases) and painful death. And in the process lose everything.


Last night was awful. I went to bed at 10pm, read a few chapters of the big book, then slept the worst night I can remember waking up every two hours, and having horrible dreams.


Unlike others I have heard say "alcohol helps me sleep", alcohol kept me from sleeping unless I was so drunk I passed out. So last night was very different for me, I believe it is my overwhelming anxiety and fear of failing to stay sober.


It scares me to death that alcohol has so much power over me I was/could still be unable to stop drinking even if it meant losing my son.


I tried to explain to my ex who says "just stop" that it is not that much different than someone having a heroin addiction.


Even though I know I am now turning myself over to AA to help me in recovry, I am plagued with knowing my family is expecting me to fail. My ex husband, and most likely my son as well. Mommy told him she would stop drinking 3 times in one month.

Tazman53

AmericanSpirit do not worry about what others say in regards to whether you stay sober or not. Just stay in today and stay sober. Look you have found in AA people that do understand what you are going through right now, I know that made a huge difference for me, simply being understood.

What I found most important for me was not only did they understand what I was going through because they had been there to, but they also knew how to stay sober one day at a time, one minute at a time if need be.

I have been sober 16 months and my wife does not get it, like your husband she still ask "How come you could not just quit before AA?" I try to explain it to her and she simply says "Hon I do not need to understand, you are sober and how you did it does not matter to me, what matters is that you are sober."

It gets better with time, it gets better with meetings, it gets better by talking to other folks in AA, it really gets a lot better as you work the steps.

Just keep in mind that it will not happen over night, there are going to be times when it seems as though your butt is on fire and the only thing that will put that fire out is a drink!!!! If there is not meeting to go to then call someone in the program, both of those will put the fire out!!!!

Do not make any more promises to any one about how long you are going to stay sober, show them!!!!! One day at a time show them!!!!

One day your child will say what mine said to me " I am proud of you for quitting drinking", when that day comes the tears will as well, but instead of tears of shame they will be tears of joy, and the salt of those tears taste pretty good!!!!

collinsmi

Yes, keep in mind that your ex and a lot of other people dispensing advice may not have any first hand experience in this matter. Those women you met at the meeting most likely do.