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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: michigan
Posts: 109
new here
Hi,
I'm new to posting but have been reading other's posts for a while now. I've finally made up my mind to quit this insanity once and for all. I usually only make it a week or two at the most without giving in and having a drink (or several). My problem is that I can get through the initial hangover/withdrawal, but within several days I get those awful PAWS symptoms that drive me crazy. I want to sleep all the time, eat tons of chocolate, and just seem to be so mentally foggy all the time. I think what I really need is an AA meeting, but I am just so terrified to go! I know that it is ridiculous because everyone is there for the same reasons, but really I just am very scared to walk through that door. I really think though that in my case it may be the only way to do this. I am already 38 years old and I am feeling much worse after each drinking binge, and I know that I just can't continue to live this way. Did anyone else have this fear of going to an AA meeting? If you did, how did you get over it?
I'm new to posting but have been reading other's posts for a while now. I've finally made up my mind to quit this insanity once and for all. I usually only make it a week or two at the most without giving in and having a drink (or several). My problem is that I can get through the initial hangover/withdrawal, but within several days I get those awful PAWS symptoms that drive me crazy. I want to sleep all the time, eat tons of chocolate, and just seem to be so mentally foggy all the time. I think what I really need is an AA meeting, but I am just so terrified to go! I know that it is ridiculous because everyone is there for the same reasons, but really I just am very scared to walk through that door. I really think though that in my case it may be the only way to do this. I am already 38 years old and I am feeling much worse after each drinking binge, and I know that I just can't continue to live this way. Did anyone else have this fear of going to an AA meeting? If you did, how did you get over it?
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by jch116 
.... I think what I really need is an AA meeting, but I am just so terrified to go! I know that it is ridiculous because everyone is there for the same reasons, but really I just am very scared to walk through that door. I really think though that in my case it may be the only way to do this. I am already 38 years old and I am feeling much worse after each drinking binge, and I know that I just can't continue to live this way. Did anyone else have this fear of going to an AA meeting? If you did, how did you get over it?
* Call your local AA hotline. They may be able to direct you to a meeting. They also may be able to help set you up to meet someone to go to your first meeting with.
* Sometimes the worry and fear of something is the worst part. Once I went I found that the fear of the meetings was far outweighed by the fear of continuing to drink. Sometimes the NIKE phylosophy is best "just do it!"
* When you go to a meeting be sure to state you are new, this will help let others know that you are in need of help and support. Try and stay for a few minutes after the meeting so people can have a chance to talk to you.
* If you hear something you can relate to try to speak to the person who said it after the meeting. This can help open the door for you to meet more people in AA making it easier to feel more comfortable.
* If offered a phone list, take it, and use it. I was told to call one phone number on the list a day. If I did not get someone then leave a message or if I got someone start out by saying something like this "this is....... from the Wed night ....... meeting, I found your phone number on the phone list and just was wanting to talk to someone." "I am new to AA." This is the way I met several people that are still a part of my support group today. It is very uncomfortable at first but if you think about it as these people put their numbers down here so new people can call then there is no reason to feel uncomfortable about calling them.
Here is a link to a PDF file on 44 questions of AA. You may find it useful.
http://www.aa.org/en_pdfs/p-2_44questions.pdf
Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 179
I called the hotline and had someone meet me outside. I was terrified of AA and it kept me from going for a long time. I skydive a lot, and going to my first AA meeting was scarier than jumping out of an airplane for the first time. Turns out I was anticipating something completely different, I thought AA was going to suck, turns out I really enjoy it. You just have to do it. Sit down and when they ask if anyone is new just say "Hi, my name is ______" That is really it, and then sit back and listen. Every person in the room has been new, and trust me, they understand. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 226
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife,
Whose judgment upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one starring back from the glass.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest.
For he's with you clear up to the end,And you've passed the most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years.
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be the heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
Author Unknown
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife,
Whose judgment upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one starring back from the glass.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest.
For he's with you clear up to the end,And you've passed the most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years.
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be the heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
Author Unknown
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
I'll keep the answer short.
Yes, I was afraid.
No, I had no good reason for
being afraid which became very
aparent after I went to my first meeting.
There was great advice given from the others,
or you can just go do it, like Nike..
Best wishes, hope3
Yes, I was afraid.
No, I had no good reason for
being afraid which became very
aparent after I went to my first meeting.
There was great advice given from the others,
or you can just go do it, like Nike..
Best wishes, hope3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Welcome JCH
I was scared to go too, but like you, I really needed to get myself there.
When I went, at last, it was like an adventure of sorts. My heart was racing. My anxiety was eased when I was greeted at the door. I was made to feel welcome. I could relate to the other people. I was overwhelmed with a feeling like I was where I needed to be.
I wish you all the best, and I'm glad you found our forum. Let us know how it goes!
chip
I was scared to go too, but like you, I really needed to get myself there.
When I went, at last, it was like an adventure of sorts. My heart was racing. My anxiety was eased when I was greeted at the door. I was made to feel welcome. I could relate to the other people. I was overwhelmed with a feeling like I was where I needed to be.
I wish you all the best, and I'm glad you found our forum. Let us know how it goes!
chip
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome!
Please check out this link for information about meetings
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-about-aa.html
Yes! I too was apprehensive about AA.
I had no idea what they did or how they did whatever.
Was there hazing? How much did it cost?
Did I have to sign up? What do I wear?
I was sooooo clueless.
I called the only person I knew that had gone
and asked Mike to take me.
It was the wisest decision I've ever made.
Please do keep posting with us..we do understand.
Please check out this link for information about meetings
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-about-aa.html
Yes! I too was apprehensive about AA.
I had no idea what they did or how they did whatever.
Was there hazing? How much did it cost?
Did I have to sign up? What do I wear?
I was sooooo clueless.I called the only person I knew that had gone
and asked Mike to take me.
It was the wisest decision I've ever made.Please do keep posting with us..we do understand.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Hi jch116,
I went to my first AA meeting 19 days ago. Very similar situation to what youre in. I called the local number, met with an AA member that day, he walked with me into my first AA meeting the following day. It took me about 3 meetings to relax but the support, understanding, and feeling of peace is unbelievable. I honestly look back and can't believe that I dismissed AA as an option for so long. In the long run, even it helps me only a bit (I think it will help a lot), it's worth it.
I went to my first AA meeting 19 days ago. Very similar situation to what youre in. I called the local number, met with an AA member that day, he walked with me into my first AA meeting the following day. It took me about 3 meetings to relax but the support, understanding, and feeling of peace is unbelievable. I honestly look back and can't believe that I dismissed AA as an option for so long. In the long run, even it helps me only a bit (I think it will help a lot), it's worth it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: michigan
Posts: 109
Thanks for all the encouragement. I found that all of the AA meetings are listed on our local AA website, so I am going to go to the first open meeting we have here, which is tomorrow at our local hospital. I am actually looking forward to it, even though I'm still terrified. Does that make any sense? I've heard so many positive things, and nothing else has worked for any length of time, so I really have no choice. I know I can't keep living like this, or I think maybe my life won't be too long. I just want to feel healthy again, and not want to drink every day. And this site is awesome, people here are so kind and supportive, it gives me hope just to come here and see how well so many people who have the same problem as I have are doing. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Hey jch116,
You're life is just about to change - bigtime! Congratulations- you are about to make the best move you ever made.
Mike
ps - I was scared, too. I went to my first meeting drunk out of my mind. I don't recommend it - but it worked.
You're life is just about to change - bigtime! Congratulations- you are about to make the best move you ever made.
Mike
ps - I was scared, too. I went to my first meeting drunk out of my mind. I don't recommend it - but it worked.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
jch,
welcome! I am so glad you are ready to make this healthyy change in your life. It is the single biggest decision in my life, to have gotten sober and to not drink daily, for over 19 years totalled now.
When I first went to AA I had so much anxiety and fear and it really weas a roller coaster for a long while. Overall, however, i noticed that I'd leave each meeting with a calm, clear mind and with more comfortr every day. There were still times in a meeting that I'd get nervous, especially if I was afraid to share, but I want to let you know that you never have to speak or share if you aren't ready to. You can simply say that you feel like listening.
We are a very accepting group, and you, the newcomer, are the most important person at the meeting.
When you go, and allow an AA member to help you, to guide you through the process of getting sobriety, it helps twice: it helps you but it helps the other person too!
welcome! I am so glad you are ready to make this healthyy change in your life. It is the single biggest decision in my life, to have gotten sober and to not drink daily, for over 19 years totalled now.
When I first went to AA I had so much anxiety and fear and it really weas a roller coaster for a long while. Overall, however, i noticed that I'd leave each meeting with a calm, clear mind and with more comfortr every day. There were still times in a meeting that I'd get nervous, especially if I was afraid to share, but I want to let you know that you never have to speak or share if you aren't ready to. You can simply say that you feel like listening.
We are a very accepting group, and you, the newcomer, are the most important person at the meeting.
When you go, and allow an AA member to help you, to guide you through the process of getting sobriety, it helps twice: it helps you but it helps the other person too!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
jch scared? You betcha, I was scared and so was my alcoholism, because it must have known that AA was my solution and the beast was not going to drink that day.
It is not uncommon for folks to be so scared they do not go back for a long time. I was like Mikel60, I went to my first AA meeting drunk as a skunk!!!! I did not go back for about 4-5 years, then when my disease had me in a death grip I went to detox and they told me if I wanted a chance to stay sober I needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor, I did.
I will tell you I was nervous like a cat on a hot tin roof, here were these folks laughing and joking around, happy and buddy buddy before the meeting and I am thinking "These folks can not be alcoholics, they are way to happy!" Then the meeting started and they started to share thier Experience, strength and hope........... they knew how I felt, they knew I was scared, they knew I hated what I had become, they knew that lost scared feeling I had, they had walked in my shoes. They shared how they had found thier way out of that hole of alcoholism, they gave me hope!!!!
Try going to at least 90 meetings in 90 days and get a temporary sponsor, what is the worst that could happen? You could wind up being one of those people laughing and joking around before the meeting and one of those folks holding out hope to some one coming into those rooms for the first time! Why? Because you have walked in thier shoes and you with the help of others have found your way out of that hole!
It is not uncommon for folks to be so scared they do not go back for a long time. I was like Mikel60, I went to my first AA meeting drunk as a skunk!!!! I did not go back for about 4-5 years, then when my disease had me in a death grip I went to detox and they told me if I wanted a chance to stay sober I needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor, I did.
I will tell you I was nervous like a cat on a hot tin roof, here were these folks laughing and joking around, happy and buddy buddy before the meeting and I am thinking "These folks can not be alcoholics, they are way to happy!" Then the meeting started and they started to share thier Experience, strength and hope........... they knew how I felt, they knew I was scared, they knew I hated what I had become, they knew that lost scared feeling I had, they had walked in my shoes. They shared how they had found thier way out of that hole of alcoholism, they gave me hope!!!!
Try going to at least 90 meetings in 90 days and get a temporary sponsor, what is the worst that could happen? You could wind up being one of those people laughing and joking around before the meeting and one of those folks holding out hope to some one coming into those rooms for the first time! Why? Because you have walked in thier shoes and you with the help of others have found your way out of that hole!
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