stone

I think you can seperate wanting to help and be a friend from the drunk phone calls. NO drunk phone calls allowed! LOL

I use the phrase 'emotional vampire' too.
Has anyone ever seen me and Dee in the same room together, I wonder? Is he me in disguise?

Paulos

Let the main AA people take care of her, some people just can't quit on their own or they need major support.

1963comet

I know people that have done the same thing. Some use AA as a excuse to drink. But on the other hand she truely believes that.

I myself thought that years ago. "I am a drunk might as well drink". That kept me drinking for years.

Tell her to try Smart recovery, I have done some reading on the program.

Powerless is a strong word that can be hard to except.

CarolD

I don't talk with wet drunks.

My Mother ....a non drinker... used to hang up on me
I learned to call sober.

Here is is what I do....

Catch her sober and be honest.
"I'll see you at a meeting
I am not accepting your calls."

I have also hung up and turned off my ringer.

Way to go on staying sober!

Tazman53

You are right Paulos, then there are people who drink until they die from it saying "I can quit on my own!"

I was that way, just like you Paulos, I damn near dies trying to quit drinking on my own because my pride was so huge I was willing to kill myself trying to prove I could stop drinking on my own!

After 10 years of trying to quit my way and just getting worse and worse I finally got some help.

I have learned that it takes a strong person to ask for help because they are able to over come thier pride.

Paulos are you strong enough to overcome your pride? You have not overcome the drinking yet.

nandm

You have recieved some wonderful input from all the above posters. There is not much I can add except my personal experience.

3 months after I started recover, I was speaking with my mother (lives over 2000 miles away). My older sister was doing the DWI with her at all hours of the night and day. Keeping my mom on the phone for hours until my sister finally passed out, whining and complaining about how unfair life is, and how she wanted to quit drinking but couldn't, etc.... My mom had no idea what to do. She asked me for my advice. I just told her that the next time my sister called to tell her "I think you need a solution not sympathy therefor I will no longer accept calls from you when you are drinking, if you really want help go to AA as I am not able to help you with this." At 2 am that next morning my mother told her that. My sister went to AA that week and has been sober every since. That was nearly 7 years ago.

The other side to this is my best friend told her brother nearly the same thing when she was less than a year sober. But he was to a point where he was expressing his frustration in anger when he was drunk, having seizures when he went even short periods of time without a drink. Kept vodka by his bed so he could get through the night. He wound up commiting suicide. He even tried to call her the night that he did it but she did not answer the phone. Although there was probably not much she could have done to change the outcome she carries an enormous amount of guilt over this on top of the pain of losing a very close family member. It is ironic that you bring this topic up as I recently changed my avatar to a wolf (he loved wolves) to acknowledge him and all the alcoholics who do not find recovery in time as well as those who are still suffering.

bugsworth

Thank You all for your thoughts and comments...so much wisdom here!

I would never completely cut her out of my life because, aside from this addiction she is a very nice person.

I do know that I can't talk with her when she has been drinking, it is getting to draining for me. It does shed a whole new light on to what I must have sounded like when I drunk dialed...sad....and true.

Again thanks for the input, it means alot to me!

Dee74

:chatter

Oh *you wish* !! LOL


D