barb dwyer

... lately, there's been a good bit of drama and emotionalism going on in these 'rooms'.

Now, I enjoy a good meaty conflict probably more than the average bear ... but I'm a redneck by birth and not terribly smart.

I ask the indulgence that each of us to remember one thing in the next couple of weeks - something that ... in OUR community here (meaning physical community) ... that has been driven home with a D-9 Cat....

Three of our members have died in the last three weeks.

This is the most lethal time of the year for us alcoholics. More of us die during this season ... than the whole rest of the year. This is not a time to be arguing whether AA is or is not anyone's personal answer, or how AA failed anyone ... or that his God is bigger than Her God ....we need each other , in all shapes and all sizes right now.

and while it's a good time to resolve to live more sensibly... it's also not a time to be beating yourself up because you were not strong enough alone to turn away. Get to a group where you CAN choose life. WHo cares how you get there? Anything ... beats a slab.

This , above all other seasons is the time for us to stop and remember all those who have NOT survived this disease, whether they had God or not, whether they had family or not ... it's time to celebrate the livingess we have left within us ...because they can not.

We are people who ordinarily would not mix.

There's only ONE thing connecting us .. please ... let's seek making it a STRENGTH ... let's confound .. the confounder .. and come together as individuals with a problem seeking friendship and company in a cold, uncertain world.

Let that ... be any gift for Barb, okay?

Thanks.

I love you all.

stone

Agreed.

barb dwyer

******{eye lobe ewe, snote }}}}

I don't believe I spelled alcoholics with two 'ls' in the title - LOL

tkdan

The only way I could have worded it better is if I got Barb to write it for me. I could not agree more. We should all be here with the same goal in mind (to stay sober)period. We should be thankful for diversity it make life interesting. We can have diversity without arguing about every little thing.

Tazman53

Agreed, there is more then one path to sobriety, we all need to respect what worked for others.

What purpose is served to trash what has worked for someone else?

Each of us that is sober can only share with others how we got sober and stay sober, none of us has any business bashing something that either did not work for us or we have only read about.

For me personally if you are an alcoholic and you have found a path to recovery that works for you, you should be sharing it to help others.

AA worked for me and millions of others, but there are other paths to recovery that work as well and I am all for them as long as that path does not involve trashing other programs of recovery.

Bickering and recovery program trashing has to my knowledge not led a single person to sobriety.

SaTiT

spell alki with as many LLLLLLL 's as you like Barb..becuase some can NOT.

I can figure it out..

stone

LOL, Sat.



I have been too argumentative and personal recently, not bashing a program but bashing people.
I am going to stop.

Jfanagle

Barb,

The fact that you took the time to express a sentiment of "togetherness" is enough to drive home the point that recovery in any stage and form is about being better today than we were yesterday!

None among us should lay claim to his or her own brand of "recovery" and the way we got there if in that claim is the cry of "look at me and how smart and correct I am!" As you so eloquently pointed out; there is no recovery if our own way is more important to us than the suffering and needs of the one we should be trying to help.

We have to tell OUR story as that is the only story we have, but we can not forget that each individual has their own little quirks and peccadilloes that only they know. I for one will try and remember your message and simply offer my experiences and describe the way that I got where I am and if that is of value to another it is incumbent on me to share anything that will benefit another lost soul.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, may your particular needs be met and if not then at least, may your load be lighter.

Thanks Barb,

Jon

Jomey

Thanks for the great post, Barb. You have a way with words. Keep posts like that comin'. They sure are a help to this ole redneck. Hugs, Jomey

Octoman

Well said Barb
I thoroughly agree!

paulmh

Thanks Barb.

caraway

Thank you so much for that post Barb. I'm not sure what it means to be a redneck over in America, but don't ever say you're not smart!

miss communicat

barb,

much love all around.

thanks~~

discoveringme

Barb: Wow...you made me cry! (just about anything can make me cry) You have said exactly what this time of year is all about. This can be the hardest and most cruel time of year....and it can be the most joyous time. Last year, I was so depressed I didnt even put up our tree..my kids did it. this year... I can't remember having a more wonderful holiday season. So....lets all hold hands and sing kum-by-ya!!!!

Dee74

Good call Barb, and you're absolutely right - this is the horror time of year...lots of folks - here, there, everywhere - are gonna want and need help.

Personally, thanks for reminding me that we're all on the same side

D

barb dwyer

Thank you , ****{Dee}}}

and thank you ALL ... for helping me to stay sober.:ghug

nolonger

Barb - you're a million per cent, zillionwatt superstar.

shugabooga

what's a D9-Cat?

PaperDolls

My sentiments exactly. :rof



Barb,
This part gave me little goose bumps

Quote:

There's only ONE thing connecting us .. please ... let's seek making it a STRENGTH ... let's confound .. the confounder .. and come together as individuals with a problem seeking friendship and company in a cold, uncertain world.

may be you rednecks say goose pimples.........but really, great post. It's the kinda stuff I like to see around here.

Thanks SR and all of you here. :ghug

ccirider

Hi Tazman:

From my own anecdotal evidence, I believe that addicts and codependents are hypersensitive people. I believe that it's part and parcel of the disease that afflicts them. As a result, honesty is often taken as rudeness.

Until I was willing to get honest with myself and others, I didn't make any progress in recovery - plain and simple. People giving me hugs and telling me how sorry they felt for me because of what I was going through in life didn't help. It's part of the disease to seek sympathy from others, isn't it? Yes, I have been there, and it's not a place I want to revist again in my lifetime.

At a time when addicts and codependents need to be honest, their hypersensitivity prevents them from doing so. Consequently, anybody who expresses truth is often labelled as being "rude" so that the addict or codependent can protect themselves from the light of truth that exposes their darkness. Instead of the addict or codependent feeling guilty for their own behavior, they try to shift the guilt to those who are being honest with them by labelling others "rude" or "offensive".

Having said all of the above, I am one of those people who dares to take a moral inventory of AA, itself. I don't believe that AA is all strengths and no weaknesses. To believe that would be, quite frankly, dishonest. Does that mean that I am bashing AA? I don't believe so, anymore than taking a moral inventory of myself constitutes bashing myself.

I can understand why people are so sensitive to anything said about AA. They have found something that has worked for them to keep them sober and they are afraid of it possibly being discredited. They need to understand that the strengths of AA can never be disredited, and that the weaknesses cannot be addressed until people are willing to do a moral inventory of AA. It's not perfect, and it could help so many more people than it does if people were more willing to treat it as a human endeavor instead of a revelation from God almighty.

Peace.