Meeting question
*Grateful*
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Meeting question
Hello~ Today I have just 28 days and I really want to try out a meeting. I have not been to an AA meeting since moving here to WI from CA over 5 years ago. Anyway, does anyone know if I can bring my 4 yr old to a meeting? granted he is being quiet and well behaved. I just don't have anyone to watch him here and my husband works evenings. Should I look for "open" meetings? Do other ppl ever bring their kids?
thanks, Sheila
thanks, Sheila
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
Hi Sheila,
My kids attend 2-5 meetings every week with me, they are all open meetings and they're more than welcome to be there, although the language can be harsh at times. Most of the members at my meetings know my kids and they've made quite a few friends over the last few years. There are quite a few people who bring their children.
The best thing you can do is ask if your son can attend rather than assume. To me it shows some respect for the group. There are a couple of meetings I've been to where children weren't allowed, but for the most part other AA'ers have been very understanding of my need to attend meetings on my custody nights.
My kids attend 2-5 meetings every week with me, they are all open meetings and they're more than welcome to be there, although the language can be harsh at times. Most of the members at my meetings know my kids and they've made quite a few friends over the last few years. There are quite a few people who bring their children.
The best thing you can do is ask if your son can attend rather than assume. To me it shows some respect for the group. There are a couple of meetings I've been to where children weren't allowed, but for the most part other AA'ers have been very understanding of my need to attend meetings on my custody nights.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Congrats on your recovery process. My experience with children in meetings has been open meetings are usually the best ones to go to when one needs to bring their child. My personal opinion differs though as I believe that if one needs a meeting then they need a meeting and if the only one they can get to is a closed one with their child then love and tolerance should be applied.
When you go it would be helpful to be sure you bring something for your 4 year old to do that would be quiet and non disruptive. Something that would allow you to be able to participate in the meeting. I have seen people utilize electronic toys, coloring books, and such for this. It is also a good idea to pack a snack that is non messy such as maybe cheerios, apple slices, etc... just in case your 4 year old gets hungry.
I hope you are able to find a great meeting at your new location. If you go to one and find it not accepting of your bringing you child then please don't give up as there are many meetings out there.
When you go it would be helpful to be sure you bring something for your 4 year old to do that would be quiet and non disruptive. Something that would allow you to be able to participate in the meeting. I have seen people utilize electronic toys, coloring books, and such for this. It is also a good idea to pack a snack that is non messy such as maybe cheerios, apple slices, etc... just in case your 4 year old gets hungry.
I hope you are able to find a great meeting at your new location. If you go to one and find it not accepting of your bringing you child then please don't give up as there are many meetings out there.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I took my kids for the first year and a half, and in the town where I got sober, yes, the language could get a little rough at times.
Where I go to meetings now, the chair asks that all keep their language G-rated, and I've seen oldtimers go up to newcomers with babies after the meeting and thank them for bringing the sound of life into the room. The only meetings I've been to where kids weren't welcome are closed meetings.
Congrats on your 28 days!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Where I go to meetings now, the chair asks that all keep their language G-rated, and I've seen oldtimers go up to newcomers with babies after the meeting and thank them for bringing the sound of life into the room. The only meetings I've been to where kids weren't welcome are closed meetings.
Congrats on your 28 days!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I can only speak for my area, but there is not a single meeting I have been to, open or closed, discussion, speaker, or literature that I have not seen children in. In my area we would much rather see a child in a meeting with a sober parent then finding out that a parent got drunk at home with thier child!
Love that, I have not heard that, but I have seen plenty of old timers entertain a young child to where thier parent could participate and gain from a meeting.
I've seen oldtimers go up to newcomers with babies after the meeting and thank them for bringing the sound of life into the room.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
One of the longer-standing meetings I go to in Santa Monica actually agreed to take part of the collection and pay a child sitter each week (in one of the other rooms on the property). Since it is a no-children meeting, it works out really well for those who have their children with them.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by sugErspun 
One of the longer-standing meetings I go to in Santa Monica actually agreed to take part of the collection and pay a child sitter each week (in one of the other rooms on the property). Since it is a no-children meeting, it works out really well for those who have their children with them.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
We have a particular location that is next to an ice cream store and on more than one occasion I have treated a youngster to an ice cream cone so that mom or dad could participate.
I echo Taz's comments regarding a sober parent and if we are really a fellowship then we should extend the hand of fellowship. That being said it is a nice gesture to inquire about a particular meeting's policy regarding children.
Ill mannered children or adults can present problems so a pre meeting pep talk with the child would be appreciated by the other members. Unfortunately the "ill mannered" adults seem to be a much bigger problem and I refuse to buy them ice cream cones!!
Jon
I echo Taz's comments regarding a sober parent and if we are really a fellowship then we should extend the hand of fellowship. That being said it is a nice gesture to inquire about a particular meeting's policy regarding children.
Ill mannered children or adults can present problems so a pre meeting pep talk with the child would be appreciated by the other members. Unfortunately the "ill mannered" adults seem to be a much bigger problem and I refuse to buy them ice cream cones!!
Jon
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