Dry for 1 year - left my husband
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Winnipeg Manitoba
Posts: 12
Dry for 1 year - left my husband
Coles notes version.
I am an alcoholic, but I was married to a controlling husband. He isn't at fault for my drinking, I know that, but the more he controlled, the more I drank. He drank in front of me and gave me no support. He would spend 5 hours on the weekend going over the family books, watching for any buck that would prove I was drinking again.
I am not drinking and other than a crisis today, haven't felt like a drink since I left. I am a basketcase though and cry at the drop of a hat. I go to meetings every chance I get, but I am starting to get angry and that is a real trigger for me. I would really appreciate any advice.
I am an alcoholic, but I was married to a controlling husband. He isn't at fault for my drinking, I know that, but the more he controlled, the more I drank. He drank in front of me and gave me no support. He would spend 5 hours on the weekend going over the family books, watching for any buck that would prove I was drinking again.
I am not drinking and other than a crisis today, haven't felt like a drink since I left. I am a basketcase though and cry at the drop of a hat. I go to meetings every chance I get, but I am starting to get angry and that is a real trigger for me. I would really appreciate any advice.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
step 4 tells us we should pray for God to remove our anger.Have you tryed it?
Have you done the steps?Look for the answer in the big book
the emotional balence will come if you keep with the steps
Have you done the steps?Look for the answer in the big book
the emotional balence will come if you keep with the steps
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR. Glad you are here.:ghug2
What you are describing sounds a little like PAWS (Post alcohol withdrawal syndrome). You might try googling it. I am unsure of the exact web address. CarolD may be by later to provide it. I am sorry for the struggle you are having. I am glad to see you are going to meetings as often as possible. Have you gotten a sponsor yet? They are great for providing guidance and support. Have you read the first 164 pages of the Big Book yet? Have you worked the steps yet? Lot of questions I know. I do not expect you to reply to those questions in this thread, I put them there to give you something to consider if you have not tried those things.
Early sobriety can be quite challenging at times, especially if we have not learned the tools to deal with lifes stuff without alcohol to numb us. For me the things I listed above in the form of questions are the things that helped me the most. They are tools I still use today. For me I really had no clue how to deal with life things without drinking so it has been a learning process for me. I am grateful that I found A.A. and was desperate enough to go to any lengths to get the program and work it.
I hope you are able to find solutions to what is going on in your life. Take care and keep us posted.
What you are describing sounds a little like PAWS (Post alcohol withdrawal syndrome). You might try googling it. I am unsure of the exact web address. CarolD may be by later to provide it. I am sorry for the struggle you are having. I am glad to see you are going to meetings as often as possible. Have you gotten a sponsor yet? They are great for providing guidance and support. Have you read the first 164 pages of the Big Book yet? Have you worked the steps yet? Lot of questions I know. I do not expect you to reply to those questions in this thread, I put them there to give you something to consider if you have not tried those things.
Early sobriety can be quite challenging at times, especially if we have not learned the tools to deal with lifes stuff without alcohol to numb us. For me the things I listed above in the form of questions are the things that helped me the most. They are tools I still use today. For me I really had no clue how to deal with life things without drinking so it has been a learning process for me. I am grateful that I found A.A. and was desperate enough to go to any lengths to get the program and work it.
I hope you are able to find solutions to what is going on in your life. Take care and keep us posted.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Winnipeg Manitoba
Posts: 12
Thank you.
I know I need to work on my anger. Today, the bank wouldn't cash my cheque because he hasn't paid the loan. I just tend to spin everything out of control when this stuff happens. I can see, looking around me, that I just undid months of work and control.
I haven't heard of PAWS - thanks, I will look that up. Sleeping doesn't seem to be an option lately.
I know I need to work on my anger. Today, the bank wouldn't cash my cheque because he hasn't paid the loan. I just tend to spin everything out of control when this stuff happens. I can see, looking around me, that I just undid months of work and control.
I haven't heard of PAWS - thanks, I will look that up. Sleeping doesn't seem to be an option lately.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I can relate to insomnia as I have fought with it the past two years. Never know when I will actually get to sleep. But that is my life right now so I accept it as I do not like the options that have been given to me by my physician. Sleep medication leaves me groggy for days. I am not even that groggy when I have not slept for 2 days.
I can understand the need to vent. I sometimes need to write things out or talk them over to actually see them from a different perspective. It is too easy to be blind to a solution when looking at the problem from the center.
So many emotions to deal with once we get sober. Anger happens to be one of them. Don't be too hard on yourself. No one is perfect. Today you did not drink and you reached out for help. I think that today you made progress, one can not ask for more. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will see your life changing.
I can understand the need to vent. I sometimes need to write things out or talk them over to actually see them from a different perspective. It is too easy to be blind to a solution when looking at the problem from the center.
So many emotions to deal with once we get sober. Anger happens to be one of them. Don't be too hard on yourself. No one is perfect. Today you did not drink and you reached out for help. I think that today you made progress, one can not ask for more. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will see your life changing.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Dianne sounds like you have a lot going on right now which is doing nothing but amplifing PAWS symptoms. You have got a lot of good advice:
More meetings.
Getting into the steps
Calling people in the program.
Prayer
Possibly a therapist would help as well.
The one thing I can tell you will not help and I am sure you already know is drinking.
More meetings.
Getting into the steps
Calling people in the program.
Prayer
Possibly a therapist would help as well.
The one thing I can tell you will not help and I am sure you already know is drinking.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here is the link for PAWS
so others may also see the information
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
About the check cashing...
why not start your personal account
and go to a different bank?
If you get out of control with spending
have only a savings with no bank cards.
I use Money Orders for bills
Cash for everything else.
It keeps me in financial balance
CCongratulations on your sober time
so others may also see the information
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
About the check cashing...
why not start your personal account
and go to a different bank?
If you get out of control with spending
have only a savings with no bank cards.
I use Money Orders for billsCash for everything else.
It keeps me in financial balance
CCongratulations on your sober time
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
I don't know what PAWS is..I think it stands for Post Accute Withdrawal Syndrom or something.
But since you mention AA, I will give my advice:
There are three parts to AA- Unity (Meetings/Friends) Recovery (Steps) and Service (helping others/carry the message).
Are you in all three parts? Have you worked the steps with another alcoholic who has worked the steps?
Things can change. Recovery from alcoholism is not just a slogan, it works for the alcoholic to LIVE, not just to stop drinking.
But since you mention AA, I will give my advice:
There are three parts to AA- Unity (Meetings/Friends) Recovery (Steps) and Service (helping others/carry the message).
Are you in all three parts? Have you worked the steps with another alcoholic who has worked the steps?
Things can change. Recovery from alcoholism is not just a slogan, it works for the alcoholic to LIVE, not just to stop drinking.
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