ponyboy60

I have been sober for 5 years now. The first year was like walking on Cotton in bare feet. I have done more in these 5 years than any other time in my life. I own 2 businesses and I'm in my second house and things couldn't be better except for one thing. I am miserable. I am angry all the time and at what I have no idea. I think back to my first year when I had peace within and I glowed with life. Now I ask myself "where did I lose it" "what happend???

tanyapmc

I don't have the time that you have so I don't have any experience there. My sponsor has 8 years and she says the first year was the best of her life too. I guess things just change. I am glad your here. Welcome to SR and keep posting.

Oh......do u go to any types of meetings?

JackieG

Hi PonyBoy

When I first sobered up 15 years ago - I got about 4 years and got into the exact same place as you. I was a mess emotionally, and then I relapsed and have not been able to get more than a few months at a time since then.

If I thought I was miserable sober it's nothing compared to being miserable when I'm drinking and using. Just hang in there - nothing is worth drinking over. I'm sure that the feelings will pass.

If I had just held on I'm sure that everything would have worked itself out, now I'm starting all over again for about the 1000 time, and I only have 9 days.

There is nothing that drinking will make better.

Lots of love
Jackie

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

Have you considered counseling?
Are you working a recovery program?

5 years is great and I am truly sorry
you are not finding joy.

Blessings

ANGELINA243

Hi ponyboy60!

Are you currently active in a recovery program? If so--such as AA>when was the last time that you did an Inventory check. I know some people in AA with long-term sobriety that mention that they do an "annual Inventory" (similar to a 4th/5th step) each year--with their sponsor. They say it helps them.

nandm

I am coming up on 7 years this March. I have had periods like you speak of. What I found was I when I felt that way what I needed was to increase the amount of meetings I go to, start working with my sponsor more intensly, make sure that I am working the steps in all aspects of my life, work with other alcoholics, and read the Big Book again. For me that resolved the feelings I was experiencing. I have not experienced that in several years. Thank you for the reminder though. Makes me know I need to keep working on this sobriety thing as the disease is quite sneaky. Take care. I hope you find the solution to what is going on that works for you.

Tazman53

ponyboy congrats on the 5 years sober, I only have 15 months, but from what I hear from the old timers is that what you are going through is normal, they have also shared that what got them through those times was working thier program harder, going to more meetings & working with new comers.

Miss Pink

are you spiritually sober............or just dry?

Abstinence from alcohol doesnt make you sober.

Practicing the principles of the AA program makes you sober, which in turn, give you peace and serenity.

Got a sponsor?

phunky rich

trying working with others...I ind the helping someone else ALWAYS helps me get out of my own crap.

swmnkdinthervr

Sounds familiar...been down that road too at about 4-5 years sobriety...it's a sure sign that you've come a long way, I found that it took all the early years just to get to the point where I was able to begin working through all my character defects...pissed me off to recognize that I wasn't as nice as the pretty picture I'd painted of myself. During that time resentments from the past began to surface too and contributed to my anger...most of which was ego centered. I finally accepted that I didn't have all the answers and got my butt to a counselor...I've been very happy that I did...

sugErspun

I was told God would remove my character defects. Not make them apparent to me so I could work on them, but actually - be rid of them if it was God's will.

As you can see, I still have plenty.

Signal30

A) Are you in AA?

B) If you are in AA, are you doing any service work?



Tom

BP44

Two words come to mind. Spiritual malady. When the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically. Time does not do this. The 12 steps does do this by getting us access to God.

shaktee

Congrats on your 5 years!

Just out of curiosity.... is there anything specific that makes you feel miserable, or are you miserable all the time... you just wake up that way? Is it external or internal... as in, is the 'problem' outside you or inside you? Is there any thing, or any set of things which would make it better or easier or less intense? What is different from when everything was great and fine to now? Is it the sheer fact of living which makes you miserable?

Just curious.