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I NEED A Drink

Old 12-12-2007, 03:26 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hey Tiburon venting is a good thing, when I was drinking I held things inside until I could drink them away and if that did not work I became explosive!!!!

I can totally relate to that urge to drink when the crap hits the fan, I mean hey I am sober, bad crap should not happen any more!!! LOL Well as already said bad crap happens to everyone every once in a while.

What step are you on, tiburon?
Tib I am sure that may sound some what like bullying, but it is not, it is experience speaking with love, and I will do the same.

In early sobriety I had some real problems, I varied from happy go lucky to an angry or sad person who wanted a drink really bad just to make it all go away!!!

What I and millions of others have found over the years is that the steps are the key to the serenity we all seek in life, the more steps I worked with my sponsor the better life was for me, every one of the promises do come true, I can attest to that.

Do the problems in life disappear? Heck no they still happen, but they are so much easier to deal with when I am not obsessing for a drink and my side of the street is clean.

The steps are what led me to no longer view alcohol as the answer to my problems, I no longer have the urge or need to drink no matter how life is going.

Tiburon I hope you know when people speak to you about the steps it is not to push you around or humiliate you, they/we are trying to help you.

If you have worked the steps to the best of your ability and are practicing the principles learned in them in all the affairs in your life then alcohol will never again have to be the solution to your problems as long as you keep your spiritual condition fit.

I have heard old timers say when asked "When should I do my 4th step?" reply "When you are ready for the pain to stop."
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Old 12-12-2007, 03:47 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Thumbs up I Need A Drink!!!

Hi Tiburon,

I had a day that I wanted something but didn't know what...I had been sober 9 months but was angry at the world...not anything specific...had been taking a small amount of antidepressant waiting for my doc & counselor to diagnose my depression so I could be put on a theraputic dose...decided I needed a drink...& after putting my shoes on and off about three times..went to the store for a six pack...went to the psyc hospital that night...

I did get diagnosed with a severe chemical imbalance depression..
anger driven...and put on a theraputic dose of antidepressant and went on from there...this was 19 years ago and I am still sober and still take meds for my depression.

I wanted to be sober more than anything else in my life but I was so depressed and so unhapppy...I went to work everyday and to a meeting every night...something had to give...

I have found that the only way I could be okay was to work my AA Program in every aspect of my life and take the medication changes as they came. I had a psydoc and a medical doc helping me and then myself...It has been 19 years and for once in my adult life...I am stable with my depression. It is a miracle & I feel I finally have what I wanted....the ability to take part in a everyday living situation that I can enjoy and to be sober and happy with being sober.

I have been on my new medication + the one I have taken for many years for a year now....and it continues to work for me.

I hope you can find a way to be happy and continue on with your sobriety. Things happen because they happen. Once I was in the hospital for my depression/had been sober several years...and my friend went over to check my trailer to be sure the water wasn't frozen and turned on the water in the tub to a trickle...he did not notice that the drain in the tub was already frozen...What a mess...the whole trailer was flooded. I was in a safe, warm place..my doc told me not to worry that it could be fixed.

He was right.

kelsh
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Old 12-13-2007, 06:31 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Action. That's what it comes down to. If you find that you are not getting what you think you should, then maybe you should put more into the program. Get involved with your program. Make coffee, empty out trash cans, chair meetings, share you experiences with others, and listen to those who need someone to talk to. The foundation of AA is alcoholics helping alcoholics. Half measures avail nothing.


Tom
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Old 12-13-2007, 06:41 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Don't forget about your liver...

just incase you havn't played the tape that far yet.
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Old 12-14-2007, 06:10 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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It's times like you describe that I need the program, that I need the steps. I freak out about incidents you describe. I don't do stress well, and my brain will hunt for things to worry about. Right now I'm having car trouble. My initial reaction - say goodbye to Christmas shopping (and that other money I had set aside for my recreational "needs"). Without this program, I would not have stopped to reflect that 1). I don't even know the extent of the problem; 2). I have plenty of money now to throw at it; 3). Worrying is NOT constructive; 4). Acceptance is; 5). All I can do about the car is all I can do about it right now.

In the past, a situation like this most certainly was an excuse to drink, but did I really need an excuse? I drank whenever.
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Old 12-14-2007, 08:54 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tiburon88 View Post
I just needed to rant. My point is that sometimes I just don't think sobriety is worth it. I am told that I need to have gratitude and be thankful that I am sober. The truth is I am not. I attend 3 meetings a week and I am not even sure they help. I think they do though. I think it is pathetic if at the end of the day all I can say is, "well at least I'm sober." I expected more out of life. I don't relate to many in the "program" because I am not in denial over the fact that I am alcoholic. The sad part is that sometimes I don't care.
I hate being an alcoholic too. It's just not fair. I bartend, and I see people come in, have a few drinks, socialize & have fun, (or, have serious, productive business-related conversations!) go home, and get up for work the next day. Sure, some of them are alcoholics...but not all. And those aren't the ones I envy. Whatever, I digress....

What I really wanted to say, is what if at the end of the day, you were saying to yourself, 'well, at least i'm drunk!' and then the next morning you could say, 'well, at least i'm hungover!' would that be better?
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