Why don't animals get the blues?
 

One of the many character defects that has hindered me in life has been worrying about what others thought of me. Trying to be what I thought they should be so they would like me. I did this for most of my life.

It has only been through sobriety and the steps that I have been able to finally understand what is meant by "what others think of me is none of my business." Today I no longer seek my happiness in other people. I know that I have to find it inside of me. No outside person or thing can make me happy just as no outside person or thing could make me sober.

What is your experience?
Have you fought with worrying about what others thought about you?
If so, do you still fight with it?
What are some ways that you found to stop worrying about what others thought of you?

self conscious, me?!
 

Oh, yes, definitely. Though I do think that a certain amount of this is normal, I mean we are social animals, I think its hard wired into us to respond and react to others' opinions. Thats how we get along. But yes it can become a problem. I do find, however, that as I'm getting older, others' opinions are mattering less. Thats just generally speaking. Sometimes I can become so wound up with myself that things can really get to me. I find now that if I just back off, before it gets too bad,and not keep thinking in that way, find something distracting, that I can get out of it, but I have to make sure that I'm not tempted back.

I remember a few years ago when I went through some serious paranoia, when I was coming out of it, I realised that everyone wasn't against me, then I realised that no-one was really thinking about ME at all. Then I realised that I was terribly alone and that really frightened me. I didn't know which was worse but wondered if the paranoia was my minds way of coping with the fear of feeling alone and isolated in the world. It sort of kept me company!

Anyway, I'm much better now. Life is much better now. I've been very lucky.

By the way, I don't believe I'm anthropomorphisising when I say that I believe that animals do get the blues and they can feel embarrassment and self consciousness along with a whole range of other feelings too. May be they can't read and write or do calculus, but they do have feelings.

Still fighting that beast. I still care way to much what other people think. It's better. Still need to work on it tho. Great thread

I totally agree, my dogs are like family members. They each have their own unique personalities, ups and downs, etc... I just liked what the quote was pointing out about people. I don't believe animals can not be depressed. Abused animals I am sure have depression. Thanks for your reply.....:ghug2

OMG yes. Even when I walk into an AA meeting, I'm afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing and someone is gonna think I'm stupid..LOL.
I've struggled with this my entire life. I think it comes from a mom who would always tell me how I embarassed her, plus other assortments of put downs and insecurities instilled at any early age.
Just today, I was thinking back to when I was in my early 20s. I would come home every night from work thinking everyone hated me and cry!!!
Another example is that I used to characterize myself as a chameleon. I could change who I was to fit any social situation...and I was PROUD of that! Geesh...
Now, I'm not sober two weeks yet, but this is going to be a biggie in my progress.
I definitely don't put as much emphasis on it as I used to...but I got a long way to go...
Thanks for the topic Judith!
Denise

Heh, guess I've got a ways to go yet. My first thought was "Wait, being a social chameleon is bad?"

dale carnegie...read a lot his book as a young man.
the will to do generation.

I don't know..peacok , bird of paradize dance to attracks
mates. Many other animals has other built in instinc to attrack
mates.

Being primate as we humans are...obviouly it's a visual
thing for a guy...lol and the female it's stength.

Humans are freaks of natures.lol
a female animal will not mate with a sick mate...but human women
stay with abusive men..

okay since i'm a guy and my experince
I think women are spyders.lol
Some females spyder kill there mates..some right after sex.lol


Realisticly..when i was out there drinking and using.
Come O now...i didn't give a rats ass what anyone thought.
i got drunk when i got drunk...maybe it was becuase i was
young and single at that time and didn't have a partner
at home nagging at me.lol
I use that... it's call turning a negative into a posistive.
it's of my charector it's not a defect.
the defect is in inappropricate use of it.

Attending meetings helps.
I didn't have to like everybody in meetings
and bascially after being able to share openly in a meeting.
I open up and became less worried what people thought.

I don't struggle with this issue as much
I might struggle with other issues that are not a struggle for you.

disconnect the television for 90 days
and observe your stress level drops
Observe how you worry less and less about not
having enough or looking good enough.
In today commercial time are extended, frames are taking
out of programes.
obvioulsy...the commercials are telling you to buy, buy,buy.
Your sick. sick sick and have all kinds sickness and there's pill
for everything.
And whatever you own...there's a newer modle and you're
is not go enough...hell even right now there's a commercial
on saying my credit card is not shiny enough :rof
wtf??? britney spear is head line news ???
and obiviouly they use anirexia modles for commercial and with even
tough up ..and you're compairing yourself to a fault image.

Give it a try. It help me
My stress level drop within a month and i became more active
in my life.

Tsk it's hard... I don't live up to other people's expectations, instead my problems I feel like I'm not living up to my brain's expectations... daily...

Good topic Judith!

I'm working on my fourth, and one big thing that's coming to light is my need for approval through others. Yup. I feel like it's getting better, small steps, and finding a good group of friends who allow me to be whatever I want to be, ie, MYSELF has helped. It's a constant struggle though..

Karen

But do they get drunk over it?

"consider the lillies in the field...."

When it came to comparing, thats what it really is,
I was comparing other peoples outsides to my insides.

In AA I learned to stop comparing and identify.

I also don't have the power to control what anyone thinks, if I'm right with God then its not my concern.

Hi Savoy... "But do they get drunk over it?" Its awhile since I've read about it but yes, I believe animals like to get drunk too, if they get the chance. In the wild it might be fermenting fruit and apparantly studies have shown that some animals like to have some of this fruit and then leave it while others will keep at it until they're quite sozzled. Like humans, they vary. But I don't know if they do this because they're blue, or because they just like to party.