Three Weeks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4
Three Weeks
Hello everyone. I passed the three-week mark last night with no drinking. I'm feeling much better, and the tenderness in my right side is gone.
I am having some trouble with strong emotions...anger in particular. I'm feeling everything!
I'm not attending any meetings. Still struggling with AA. Part of the reason I drank was the stress in my life and lack of time to rest (drinking to unwind and get to sleep, etc.) . There's no way with three kids and two jobs I can attend a meeting every day (the 90 in 90). If I felt like I could go to a meeting once a week and be accepted, I'd do it.
Still, I'd like to work the steps and was wondering if this is something I can do on my own, with my own faith and in my own church.
Thanks for all the support I've been getting on this board!
I am having some trouble with strong emotions...anger in particular. I'm feeling everything!
I'm not attending any meetings. Still struggling with AA. Part of the reason I drank was the stress in my life and lack of time to rest (drinking to unwind and get to sleep, etc.) . There's no way with three kids and two jobs I can attend a meeting every day (the 90 in 90). If I felt like I could go to a meeting once a week and be accepted, I'd do it.
Still, I'd like to work the steps and was wondering if this is something I can do on my own, with my own faith and in my own church.
Thanks for all the support I've been getting on this board!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
Hi Crowgirl,
You might see if any of your local churches offer Celebrate Recovery programs. It's a Christian based approach to the 12 Steps. At the very least I recommend reading the AA Big Book for an understanding of the Steps.
I understand your not being able to do 90 in 90, but have you considered taking your children to meetings? My children were 7 & 9 when they started going to meetings with me, they still attend 2-3 times every week. Embracing a recovery program has helped me to deal with the emotions, where there's a will there's a way.
Glad you're here and staying sober. I'll look forward to reading more of your posts.
Scott
You might see if any of your local churches offer Celebrate Recovery programs. It's a Christian based approach to the 12 Steps. At the very least I recommend reading the AA Big Book for an understanding of the Steps.
I understand your not being able to do 90 in 90, but have you considered taking your children to meetings? My children were 7 & 9 when they started going to meetings with me, they still attend 2-3 times every week. Embracing a recovery program has helped me to deal with the emotions, where there's a will there's a way.
Glad you're here and staying sober. I'll look forward to reading more of your posts.
Scott
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 35
Congrats on the 3 weeks! That is awesome! I don't have an answer for you about the AA stuff. I am 8 days today and clinging to AA for life - I have been going to lots of meetings, but I certainly am not positive I can do the 90/90. And, that is ok. I am not going to stress about it. I am going to try the hardest I can. If I were you, I would try the once a week thing, and see what happens. People keep telling me to keep coming back, but they aren't dictating WHEN, you know what I mean? No-one has told me I have to make a certain amount of meetings - in fact one person told me I am in charge of my recovery.
Congrats again - that is awesome, and you are doing great!
Congrats again - that is awesome, and you are doing great!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,002
Congratz on the three weeks. I used to give the excuse that I didn't have time to go to meetings. My sponsor simply said if you had time to drink everyday, then you have time to go to meetings. As a parent, I fully understand the hectic life of kids, job, and other priorities. In AA, staying sober has to be your number one priority. It comes before all else. When staying with the program of AA, you become a great parent, co-worker, friend, spouse, mother, etc. You reap the rewards of a sober life, and obtain more than you ever thought.
Alcoholism is a fatal disease untreated. The damage it leaves go far beyond just what you do to yourself.
Tom
Alcoholism is a fatal disease untreated. The damage it leaves go far beyond just what you do to yourself.
Tom
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Originally Posted by Crowgirl 
There's no way with three kids and two jobs I can attend a meeting every day (the 90 in 90). If I felt like I could go to a meeting once a week and be accepted, I'd do it.
Congrats on the three weeks. It's said that the good news about recovery is that you get your feelings back, but the bad news about recovery is that you get your feelings back
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Congrats Crowgirl. 
8
I agree with Sugah on the 90 in 90 thing. Dont let the feeling you 'HAVE' to do such and such in AA put you off it.
I am 5 months sober and AA has played a big part in my recovery, I make about 1 meeting a week. I do keep in touch with other alcoholics by phone though.
8I agree with Sugah on the 90 in 90 thing. Dont let the feeling you 'HAVE' to do such and such in AA put you off it.
I am 5 months sober and AA has played a big part in my recovery, I make about 1 meeting a week. I do keep in touch with other alcoholics by phone though.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Cowgirl,
The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. There is no rule about 90 in 90, it simply is one way that many have found to get into the program in a full blown approach. The desire and the willingness are really the most important.
I suggest that you try and attend whenever you can and while there find someone who you like and see if they are willing to work with you based on your schedule and children's demands. That person ought to be someone that has something that you have seen that you want. It may be an attitude, a smile, and a bounce in their step, anything that attracts you to them.
Introduce yourself after the meeting and explain your desire and the situation you have with regard to time and availability and see if they will help you through the steps. It is advised that they have taken the steps themselves so that they can help you. Call them often and seek their guidance regarding problems that may arise in your journey toward sobriety.
If you will do this and not drink at the same time you have a really great chance to get and stay sober.
Oh by the way, if you get hooked up with that person I am talking about you won' have to get a sponsor. You will already have one!
Good luck,
Jon
The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. There is no rule about 90 in 90, it simply is one way that many have found to get into the program in a full blown approach. The desire and the willingness are really the most important.
I suggest that you try and attend whenever you can and while there find someone who you like and see if they are willing to work with you based on your schedule and children's demands. That person ought to be someone that has something that you have seen that you want. It may be an attitude, a smile, and a bounce in their step, anything that attracts you to them.
Introduce yourself after the meeting and explain your desire and the situation you have with regard to time and availability and see if they will help you through the steps. It is advised that they have taken the steps themselves so that they can help you. Call them often and seek their guidance regarding problems that may arise in your journey toward sobriety.
If you will do this and not drink at the same time you have a really great chance to get and stay sober.
Oh by the way, if you get hooked up with that person I am talking about you won' have to get a sponsor. You will already have one!
Good luck,
Jon
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome cowgirl. As stated by many, 90 meetings in 90 days is suggested by many in A.A. But nowhere in the first 164 pages (the core of the program) is that suggestion written down. The steps are the biggest part of the A.A. program. Yes, fellowship, and helping other alcoholics is part of it.
I would rather see someone go to one meeting a week, get a sponsor, and start working the steps right away than have someone go to 90 meetings in 90 days, fail to get a sponsor, and put off working the steps. By having a sponsor, you have a link to the program so even when you are unable to be at a meeting you have someone who can guide you, talk with you, listen to you, etc....
For me meetings help ground me so I do attend them. I did do 90 in 90. But I did not get a sponsor during that time and thought that I could work the steps by myself. I am thankful that I finally figured out that for me the most important part of the program was obtaining a sponsor, going to meetings (as many as possible), and working the steps.
I encourage you not to give up on A.A. Remember there are no have to's in the program, it is simply a program of suggestions. Granted if one doesn't follow the suggestions then one is more likely to wind up back out drinking again.
Hang in there do the best that you can, grab hold of the desire to stop drinking and put one foot in front of the other. By doing so you will see results.
I would rather see someone go to one meeting a week, get a sponsor, and start working the steps right away than have someone go to 90 meetings in 90 days, fail to get a sponsor, and put off working the steps. By having a sponsor, you have a link to the program so even when you are unable to be at a meeting you have someone who can guide you, talk with you, listen to you, etc....
For me meetings help ground me so I do attend them. I did do 90 in 90. But I did not get a sponsor during that time and thought that I could work the steps by myself. I am thankful that I finally figured out that for me the most important part of the program was obtaining a sponsor, going to meetings (as many as possible), and working the steps.
I encourage you not to give up on A.A. Remember there are no have to's in the program, it is simply a program of suggestions. Granted if one doesn't follow the suggestions then one is more likely to wind up back out drinking again.
Hang in there do the best that you can, grab hold of the desire to stop drinking and put one foot in front of the other. By doing so you will see results.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 8
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking.
With regards to AA, meetings are great for some, as is the 90/90 and all that. But there are not requirements in AA other than a desire to stop drinking. If you can't get meetings or don't want to, I would suggest you just read the Big Book and do what you can. Try putting some of the recommendations in the Big Book into practice. YOu can get the book at any library and many meetings give them away. You can also read it online aa.org\bigbook
There's lot's of support on these forums too. Congratulations and wishing success in your recovery.
With regards to AA, meetings are great for some, as is the 90/90 and all that. But there are not requirements in AA other than a desire to stop drinking. If you can't get meetings or don't want to, I would suggest you just read the Big Book and do what you can. Try putting some of the recommendations in the Big Book into practice. YOu can get the book at any library and many meetings give them away. You can also read it online aa.org\bigbook
There's lot's of support on these forums too. Congratulations and wishing success in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
When AA started, they had one meeting per week. The average person had no phone, and the internet wasn't even an idea in Al Gore's grand daddy's head.
Yet they stayed sober.
As many have stated, 90-in-90 is the rehab industry talking, not the fellowship of AA. Go to a meeting, and see what you think. Do not let what you hear about AA get in the way of how it may help you.
Yet they stayed sober.
As many have stated, 90-in-90 is the rehab industry talking, not the fellowship of AA. Go to a meeting, and see what you think. Do not let what you hear about AA get in the way of how it may help you.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
congratulations on your three weeks.
The feeling I got from reading your post ... you've gone three weeks ... not drinking.
Now, you've begun to get curious about 'sobriety'.
the two ... are NOT interchangeable terms.
There's a world of difference.
Although I don't completely understand why people resist AA,
I do understand about wanting more out of life than just not drinking.
Good luck on the next step of your sober journey!
The feeling I got from reading your post ... you've gone three weeks ... not drinking.
Now, you've begun to get curious about 'sobriety'.
the two ... are NOT interchangeable terms.
There's a world of difference.
Although I don't completely understand why people resist AA,
I do understand about wanting more out of life than just not drinking.
Good luck on the next step of your sober journey!
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