Back from a boozy beyond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Back from a boozy beyond
Well hello...
I see some familiar names still 'round here so some of you may remember me. I'm back after a few months of relapse. I used to hang around here and the "Friends & Family" forum. I guess you could say I relapsed on both fronts. Took up with someone I work (ya..the was a brilliant idea!!!). Neither of us were drinking. He'd quit almost a year..and me...about 8 or 9 months I think. I don't remember the exact date I started up again. But I do know why. I wanted to fast track my intimacy with this fellow I was somewhat terrified since he not only looked... but acted scarily similar to ex (I know this all now only in hindsight). How's that for completely buggered up? Truth is...I was probably looking for temptation...looking for a reason to mess myself all up again. I craved the drama and the crap and the escape and yep..whatever. AA was leaving me cold and I was desperately seeking something or other.
Nothing all that horrible happened...thank God...I just fell backward into the the hideously familiar quick and hard. I was hiding and faking it and pretending I was some sort of tough sassy broad..all over again. What ridiculous hogwash. I stopped drinking cuz I was a cowardly imposter..and I went right back there first chance I got.
Ah well.... I got stuff to do now. Pick self up and dust self off. I need some counselling.
I see some familiar names still 'round here so some of you may remember me. I'm back after a few months of relapse. I used to hang around here and the "Friends & Family" forum. I guess you could say I relapsed on both fronts. Took up with someone I work (ya..the was a brilliant idea!!!). Neither of us were drinking. He'd quit almost a year..and me...about 8 or 9 months I think. I don't remember the exact date I started up again. But I do know why. I wanted to fast track my intimacy with this fellow I was somewhat terrified since he not only looked... but acted scarily similar to ex (I know this all now only in hindsight). How's that for completely buggered up? Truth is...I was probably looking for temptation...looking for a reason to mess myself all up again. I craved the drama and the crap and the escape and yep..whatever. AA was leaving me cold and I was desperately seeking something or other.
Nothing all that horrible happened...thank God...I just fell backward into the the hideously familiar quick and hard. I was hiding and faking it and pretending I was some sort of tough sassy broad..all over again. What ridiculous hogwash. I stopped drinking cuz I was a cowardly imposter..and I went right back there first chance I got.
Ah well.... I got stuff to do now. Pick self up and dust self off. I need some counselling.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome back nuudawn, one of the neatest things about SR & AA is we do not shoot our wounded we welcome them back with open loving arms!!!!
Nothing to be ashamed of hon, a lot of us just have not finished our story, you sharing your relapsed has helped me stay sober today as it has every one else who read it.
Take the relapse and learn from it, tons of people with many years of good solid sobriety started off with numerous relapses and slips. It happens but it is not the end of the world, it is a new beginning on a new sober life.
Nothing to be ashamed of hon, a lot of us just have not finished our story, you sharing your relapsed has helped me stay sober today as it has every one else who read it.
Take the relapse and learn from it, tons of people with many years of good solid sobriety started off with numerous relapses and slips. It happens but it is not the end of the world, it is a new beginning on a new sober life.
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