t2003

Well here i am i've been readin around these boards for weeks, about three weeks ago i made what i thought was a big step.I went to ameeting i really was hapy about how it went but the next day brought this big anxiety thing everything made me angry and my head felt like it mught explode(all these things racing around in my head). I felt so confused and sad, i had these phone numbers to call but i couldn't get anything to make sense and everything felt so hard.Boy i never expected for anything to feel this bad.I almost didn't go back to my counsellor but fate kind of got me there.He explained that alot of what i was feeling was normal.I never believed how many feelings where hide down inside until i actually stopped drinking and using, i was a mess.Anyways he suggested writing in a journal when i was feeling that obessed about things and said that i don't need to wait until i feel better to make those calls because that's why i have those numbers.I guess i feel pretty weird calling somebody when i'm climbing the walls but i suppose they understand.Well i haven't smoked pot in 29 days and i don't really miss it much but the drinking is much harder, i have proven to myself over and over i can't quit drinking on my own.My one friend is trying to help i think she believes if she keeps me busy i'll be okay but she doesn't realize i'll still find away.Actually i really need to get some guts to tell her i need more because i get a day where i can get to that meeting and she always seems to call and want me to go with her.I know she trying to help but i can't seem to get the guts to tell her that this won't help and i really need to get to that meeting.Any ways i do have one question i got these phone numbers but its been almost three weeks since that meeting, Do you think they'll mind me calling after this long?I keep hoping maybe they'll understand if i do call, right now i would like to think i know what i'm doing but all i really know is that i can't do this alone and i'm feeling so many different things i'm not sure which way is up some days.
Tracey

Peter

Hi Tracey.Good to hear from you again.I am happy to hear you are thinking of using those numbers.Calling up other members when we are feeling low has been proven to very therapeutic.

Based on my own experience as a member of AA.Just about any member who willingly gave you their phone number will be happy to hear from you regardless of how long you been gone.

Some people may have a little trouble remembering you at first,especially if it is a large meeting,but dont be too put off by it.

When an AA member gives you their phone number it is given to you with the full expectation that you will use it.

Make the call.

Peter.

LettingGo

Hi Tracy!
I am a newly sober girl too, but only this is my 6th day. I fell off of the last time which was only a couple of weeks at that. I have only recently even admitted I am alchoholic/addict. But when I finally did I got all of those same emotions as you and fast! I remember the day I finally went back to AA after going back out and getting loaded, I got a sponsor that day, and as difficult as it was I reached out to her when I started feeling this overwhelming guilt. She did not have any prophetic answers but in talking to her, I realized that what I was feeling was very normal and OK. That I needed to give it over to my higher power, and go from there. If we hang onto that garbage it is almost surely going to catapult us back into using. Reaching out is quite difficult for me which is strange because usually in social situations I am totally at ease, but in the program I have been very nervous! These ladies all give me their phone #s and I think thanks but dont worry I wont be calling. I hate to admit that but it is truly what went thru my mind. Well after this last run I started thinking that maybe it is my stinkin thinkin that has got me where I am. Maybe what these people say and do actually would work for me! Well one thing that I do know is that they dont put their # down if they do not want to get calls. Those people who wrote it down are telling you to call them any time, any place no matter what the situation. Would you mind if they called you and you could help them? We dont mind when you come here and ask us questions..... it is all a part of the program. An intricate part of the program! Call them...... go back to the meeting..... get a sponsor so you can feel good about calling this same person and you can develop a mutual relationship with them. You know, I have had more people tell me that as a newcomer to AA, that I help keep them sober! What is that all about? I dont really know other than I think we remind them of where they used to be. We are of service to them when we call them to! Reach out my friend, it could save you! I think it did me!
Your friend,
LG

The Jay Walker

Tracy

I can imagine how you feel right now, going to one meeting only confused me more, i found that the more i go the more comfortable I get, so I tend to go to a lot of meetings,

Use those phone numbers, they gave them to you for times like these.

good luck to you.

t2003

Thanks for the replies.

Now i feel alittle better about making those calls.
Tracey

MootPoint

along with all the advice you got, I have one thing to say...

You have a smart cousellor...
you said...

Listen to that advice!! Journalling is always good!

Hadenuff

Hello,
When I was trying to get sober again
last September I got a bunch of phone numbers. I was going to meetings, one night I was just so jammed up. I really wanted to pick up. I picked up the phone and called another alcoholic. We talked about 15 minutes, I just told him I wanted to drink. When the call ended I sat there and thought to myself,"Wow, this really works." I got another day.
Hang in.
H

Chy

Tracey glad your back! I know your in a whirlwind of emotions, I thinks that it's completly normal for us alcoholics/addicts.

We don't know how to function normally without that buzz or high, we continuously question ourselves, have feelings of remorse, guilt shame, self pity!

I am glad you have some numbers to call, when I was given some numbers I too said I wasn't gonna need them. But I got in a bit of a pity party last night and rather then lash out at my family I picked up the phone for the first time. It wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be and I felt so much better afterwards.

I am new to this AA thing myself and have to rely on what people say is true and honest, and it works!

Stay strong!

MootPoint

Congrats Chy!!! It took me a month to pick up that phone but it got easier as time went by.

Busy

Hi thanks for the replies.Something got screwed up with my profile and couldn't get back in, so changed my user name.Anyways hopefylly this will work.Well i looked at those numbers and asked god for a sign but i don't think it was the right one.I called one number and actually got through but she is on vacation and away for 5 weeks, i know i shouldn't let this deter me but not the sign i was looking for.

Tracey

Busy

Well i really think if signs are supposed to mean anything them mine are telling me something and they don't seem good.I'm sitting over the last week there are signs
1st i don't say the right things at times
2nd some how i screw up and can't post so maybe i shouldn't be here wasting everyone's time
3rd my dealer was back again the other day idid say no but he said it was time to stop being good and be bad
4thi finally get the guts to make that phone call and their on vacation(i don't blame them for that)seems ironic

I've been to weak and scared to reach out for help beyond these boards(which everyone is great)but i think its time to deal with what i am and what i have destined myself to be!

Tracey

MootPoint

Who does????

Sounds like the Soberrecovery Server God telling them to upgrade (like, add a spellcheck hint hint hint)

You said NO. Sounds like a test you passed with flying colors!!

Sounds like a challenge to pick up the phone again and call someone else! Maybe He thinks you have the intestinal fortitude (guts) to do so

Starting on this board is a good thing. It's a great place to build up your confidence. I couldn't pick up that phone until I'd been on these boards a little while. Now I call my sponsor every day (she says I should )

I think that's what you should be regardless of signs!