Signal30

When my son was about 15 months old I was watching my son by myself. I watch him all the time by myself, but that day was a bad day. He was cranky, (teething) I was stressed out about work, and I was getting these headaches on the right side of my head. I had to wait two more days to see if anything came up from a cat scan I had. I was CONVINCED that I had a brain tumor. (LOL, I am such a hyprocondriac.)

Anyway, I was on a collision course for a total meltdown. I packed up the boy and went to a AA meeting. When I got to the meeting, my son was getting bored very quickly even though a packed a huge diaper bag of toys, sippie cups of milk ,juice, food etc...

15 minutes into the meeting, a fantastic woman in the fellowship offered to take my son into the other room and play him, while I enjoyed a MUCH needed discussion.

Her generosity was so fantastic, that after the meeting I pulled her aside and was in tears because of how grateful I was at such a kind act. She said the pleasure was all hers, and that she enjoyed playing with my son.

A true example of alcoholics helping other alcoholics. This fellowship is amazing.


Tom

earthmama

Tom -

Your story about your son made me think. I have three boys 10, 7, and 5 that I homeschool. I never feel like I can take them to a meeting because of my 7 y/o with autism. I fear he would be super disruptive, and I can't have anyone else watch him because he is SO unpredictable and might do something dangerous. He's literally never had a babysitter in his life for that very reason. But you know what? My SPONSOR works with autistic kids as a career (special ed teacher) and could totally have handled watching him in another room for me if I needed her to. It never EVER occurred to me until I read your e-mail.

I felt so stupid about the very idea of going to a meeting and saying I was wanting to drink. I felt embarrased and like I was failing somehow. Now I have to try to get up the courage to go to a meeting and admit that I drank It seems so obvious now that it would have been a lot less humiliating to go to the meeting BEFORE I drank.

Someone said that going to 2 meetings a week isn't "enough". Believe me, if my kids were in school, or I had someone to watch them at night, etc. I would go to more. It's not that easy. I'm sure everyone will feel like I'm making excuses, but I'm not. This is a big struggle for me.

Thanks for all of the kind words. I know I need to move forward from here, and I hope I can find the strength to do it

Rowan

Hi - I've relapsed twice with booze, both after a couple of years sobriety. It was hard putting my pride in my back pocket and getting that desire chip, but I did it and just kept putting one foot in front of the other again.

I can only get to meetings a couple of times a week right now; I'm on my own with a young daughter. Coming here has been very helpful for me, and I connect with other women in recovery frequently, at their home or mine. I understand your struggle, and I know you're not making excuses. Just do your best.

You can do this.

Tazman53

earthmama I can not add to what has been said, I pray that you have followed some if not all of the great advice given, I will give you a big cyber hug ((((((earthmama)))))) and let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for helping me stay sober today by sharing, you have helped so many others stay sober one more day by sharing this, do not hang your head in shame, do not continue to drink, pick your self up, knock the dust off, learn from what has happened. Now take what has happened to you and share it with others, it will help them and as a result will help you.

Hon this is an opportunity for you to excel, ask your HP to guide you in doing so.

Remember we do not shoot our wounded, we welcome them back with open arms, not with "I told you so!"

Tazman53

Sweetheart we are alcoholics, if we weren't we would not understand that feeling, we would shrug our shoulders and say something like "Deal with it!" We need each other....... I need all of you, far more then anyone needs me!

Hon please know that you are far from being the first to have gone back out and you sure will not be the last, forget the humiliation, think about how many people will stay sober thanks to you and your honesty.

Drop down on your knees and ask for it, if you humbly ask for the strength it will come! Call your sponsor, I bet she would love to go to the meeting with you.

Hon if you do not feel the love in these post for you, you will in the rooms!

snowgoose

What can I add to these excellent responses but my prayers and support. Please get yourself right back to meetings, admit what happened and then like so many of us, learn from it. I know many folks strong in AA and long in 24hourses who flopped around a lot before "getting it". MadTuba said a mouthful about staying in touch with your Higher Power, or the God of Your Understanding.

Blessings from the Snowgoose.

Signal30

earthmama,

If it makes you feel better, all the meetings I go to have kids that are disruptive. I put myself in there shoes. If I was between 2 and 12, I would be bored out of my mind.

The next wednesday meeting I'm going to I think I'll play with these womans kids, so she kind have some peace. Your post actually prompted me to do some service work, and give back. Thanks.



Tom