Ared83

It's probably been a year since I posted, but to make a long story short.....from Summer of 2001 through the summer of 2004 I drank like a fish. At first it started out just weekends because I had just started college. Within a matter of a few months it got out of control. I figured it would never happen to me, even though alcoholism runs terribly in my family, because I was "too smart for that". But, it licked me.....every night for over 3 years, drank at least a pint of vodka a night, then it turned into a 750 ml of vodka at night with a few drinks here and there throughout the day. In the summer of 2004, I hit rock bottom, I was spent physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I confided in my mother and she took immediate action since I was already experiencing some rather intense withdrawals. Went to the ER b\c my blood pressure was 220/170......and I was only 22. They immediately gave me sedatives there because I was underway with DT's (terrifying). My mother then took me to my doctor and he gave me a high dose of librium to get through the rest of the withdrawals. I thought I had licked it...........got rid of that demon that I loved so much. I stayed sober for about a year and a half, then relapsed. Almost fell into badly again......cleaned up for a while then I relapsed for another year or so, but now.......I'm tired of it. Tired of the hangovers, tired of seeing the painful look of worry on my fiance's face when I lie about it, tired of hurting my family, and tired of hurting myself. I know how to beat the cravings, the "just one won't hurt", or the "I'm better now" mentality. Been there done that. I know better now that it is progressive, and the more I would drink, the more it would make me want to drink. Now I just scream STOP YOURSELF JARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I'm not going to look back............it's sober time for me.

barb dwyer

hi Ared -

Welcome ... or ... welcome back, I couldn't tell.

Since you've had trouble quitting on your own ...
what do you plan to do actively for your recovery?
What are your plans for support?

Ared83

my support network is basically my fiance, whom I am always with, which that is a good thing. More than likely I'm going to go to some local AA meetings, and I'm going to continue to post A LOT more on here. This place gives me great insight and comfort knowing I'm not the only one, always nice having a support network......

CarolD

Glad to see you again!

Gee I hope your fiance is a non drinker.
That would make it easier.

Blessings

barb dwyer

ain't it, though? (support, I mean)

You're not alone, hon.

MDScot

Ared83,

I've been there - took me a lot more than 3 tries though, and I can't be (over)confident that I am on my last.

Go to a LOT of AA meetings - just go to the meetings and listen, don't worry about "joining" just yet.

The old "one day at a time" is what helps me, a chronic relapser, to move forward. I feel better today than yesterday - and thats all I need today.

Hang in there

Tazman53

Great decision and realization Jared!!! Keep in mind the more meetings you go to the better chance you have of making it, keep an open mind, listen for things that you can relate to, do not try to make your self different.

Do not get me wrong, we are all individuals with our own stories, but in one way or another, if my life had been just slightly different in just a little way I could have done exactly what some one else did. Our thought processes are alike in a lot of areas.

Once you get familiar with some guys at the meetings it may help to ask someone to be your temporary sponsor. A sponsor is a guide of sorts in AA whose primary purpose is to help you through the steps, answer questions and make suggestions.

Remember always AA is a program of suggestions, the only rule in AA is that there are no rules!

snowgoose

Hi Jared, want to give you support in The Great Struggle. One saying I've heard is that your bottom may come when you are "sick and tired of being sick and tired". "Bottoms" are different for each of us; may you find yours now. Please know that for your own safety, you may need medical help in early sobriety - the detox period.

And personally, I could not have done it without the wisdom of AA, and being with others in the rooms.

Best to you from the Snowgoose.

Jfanagle

Jared,

It is a moving target when we start the sober journey. I could not do it without AA. Your family, friends and certainly lover will support you and that is great, but real live human beings that we interact with at meetings seem to KNOW us better and more importantly UNDERSTAND us.

Stay close to fellow alcoholics in the beginning and when ever possible offer your support to those in the rooms of AA and all of a sudden you find yourself sober because it is no longer all about you.

Great decision and best of luck,

Jon

Missymae737

Hi Jared,

You no longer have to live this way...There is hope in recovery...

Keep posting here for great advise and helpful information..:ghug

nolonger

Hi Jared, third time lucky - but you make your own luck! You can do it!
best wishes, nl.

dave47

Welcome back Jared,sounds like you've had enough and this could be the time.Keep posting and best wishes.

jesthemes07

jared! i am very proud of you and i am always here for you you know i am your support system when you cant tell other people because as always i dont judge you... thats not my job talk to me about this i want to help you stop drinking because i see that it is truly what you want. see ya later

""it is hard to wait around for some thing that may never happen, but it is even harder to give up especially when it is everything you ever wanted""

love always
Jes