GrouchoTheCat

From dry drunk to serene recovery,

only takes 12 simple steps.

Do the work, get the results.

Don't do the work, ...

akimmel1302

This is completely just a saying to make AA the way and it is just word play...im assuming everyone in here is an alcoholic....notice the overanalyzation of this small post....by everyone....including myself

-kimmel

Jfanagle

Boy oh boy, the fact that I am even writing this tells me I have way too much time on my hands.

Drunk is a momentary or more specific point in time, a state of being IE. "He was drunk." Alcoholic is a condition of an individual being. IE. "He has been diagnosed as an alcoholic."

Alcoholic: 2 : marked by the use of alcohol ; especially : addicted to the usually excessive use of alcoholic drinks <alcoholic expatriates in Paris -- Carl Van Doren>


The great thing is that one can be a drunken alcoholic, or one can be an alcoholic who is drunk, but I really think this explanation is the best.

Alcoholics are persons who have a "problem" with alcohol, however if I don't drink no matter what my past issues, I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH ALCOHOL.

This may explain why the anonymous aspect of AA. If an individual enters the rooms of AA and overcomes the desire to drink and no longer uses, then if his or her anonymity is preserved they can return to society and no one need know that they were previously alcoholic and a drunk.

Just my thoughts,

Jon

snowgoose

Dry drunks are ones who like to fight and split hairs and attack others rather than learning serenity, "Let go and let God", "There but for the grace of God go I", "Live and let live", "Identify rather than compare" and the like. Some will not like my making this statement; you'll see. Hee hee.

Blessings from the Snowgoose.

Tazman53

Bugs if I just did what ever came natural to me I would be a drunk alcoholic, I guess I remind myself that at my roots I am a drunk alcoholic and if I do not maintain my spiritual condition I will be right back where I started from. I was a drunk alcoholic before I got spiritual and I know darn well if I lose my spirituality I would revert right back to being a drunk alcoholic again.

I also am aware that before I got spiritual I was a drunk whether I was sober or not, my thought process was the same, if anything I was probably a worse person sober because of my irratability.

Bugs I hope I have not done that, when asked why someone who is an alcoholic who is not drinking is irratable, miserable, unhappy, etc. I will state that it could be due to them being a dry drunk. I have heard people who shared that they were dry drunks attending AA for a long time before they finally surrendered and started working the steps of recovery, they describe that period of being a dry drunk as them being angry, discontent, & irratable.

girl from oz every person is different, usually the folks that get to that point are ones who have thrown them selfs heart and soul into the steps/recovery, for some it does come quickly, for others slowly..... sadly for some it never goes away totally, it gets better though. Why? I do not know, I could venture a guess, but why?

bugsworth

Taz, how you choose to view yourself is entirely up to you, and I respect that. I suppose it differs from person to person. I have read that you drank for 40 years, and maybe that is why you percieve yourself that way. I am 40 now and drank destructively for 10 years, maybe that is a reason why I choose not to refer to myself as a drunk. I have lived many more years sober than drunk.

The term dry drunk originally referred to a rather rare condition that some people have during the first months of recovery from alcohol abuse -- they stumble around in an uncoordinated manner as if they are drunk, even though they are 100% sober. It seems to have taken on a whole new meaning for some. Years of alcohol abuse followed by abstinence is bound to cause irratability, does not cause a condition called "dry drunk". Again JMO

Sara9009

I agree with Bugs. My opinion is very different for a few reasons. I drank for a year. I hadn't reached a point where I had affected anyone in my family (minus my husband who was starting to worry), my work was fine, never drove even after one drink. I caught myself at a very early point. So do I consider myself a "dry drunk" because I don't attend meetings, no?

Just like I don't consider myself a dry smoker because I don't attend tabacco cessation meetings.

Again, the prospective of 40 years of drinking and one year of drinking is totally different. I realized I was on the direct path to alcoholism if I continued what I was doing. After not drinking for around a month or so. I think most likely I am a problem drinker. Do I feel like I need to revolve my life around AA to abstain from alcohol? No. I think it is a great program for a lot of people but just because someone isn't in AA doesn't make them a "dry drunk."

hbb

Hi all, i read in all forums and usually only post in the F&F of Alcoholics, this thread really stuck out for me. I just wanted to give an outsiders opinion on the above by Nolonger. I lived this with my Xbf and it's soooo hard. He started AA back in Dec. and we broke up in July. He really hates life, still hangs in bars, is miserable, drinks o'douls and still blames others for everything that comes his way. However, on the other side, one of my best friends is exactly at the same timeframe in sobriety and she LOVES life, did rehab, 90 in 90 and there is a world of difference compared to the two. I'm saddened that my X isn't letting go and letting God, it broke my heart how he was living but we all have choices.

I thought i'd share what i recently experienced and how very different the two scenerio's are in my life. I congratulate each and every one of you as you truly have helped me learn alot over the few months here. Thanks!

BP44

Alcohol wasn't my "problem". It was my solution.

Tazman53

You know Bugs, I am doing some rethinking of that, because I am no longer a drunk and I do not view myself as one any more, I am going to start not calling myself a drunk as things stand today, but I have not closed the door on my past and when speaking of the old me I will refer to myself as what I was, a drunk. I will say though that on occasion the thinking of that drunk does still pop in my head, but that is my thought process of the past which is easily now overcome by the present me as long as I am still working on me.

Totally agree, it has taken on a new meaning, partucuarly in the recovery community which is aware there is "White Knuckle" sobriety which is refered to also by many as a "Dry" Drunk". In a nut shell the 2 are one in the same, they have really changed nothing about them selfs, they are staying sober by simply not drinking which is from my own experience a miserable way to live, for me it was an impossible way to live, it was easier just to drink to ease the misery.

Bugs I like you, you make me think and look at myself closer!

Sara attending or not attending meetings does not have a thing to do with whether one is a dry drunk or not. Heck there are several folks I see in meetings that are sober but miserable, they seem some how to draw just enough form the meetings to stay sober, but can not seem to change them selfs.

Sara my dad to my knowledge never attended an AA meeting, but my mother said he really did change himself once he got sober. I never knew him when he was drinking, but I do know that the 19 years I did have him he was far from miserable, he lived life, he loved life, he was at peace with the world.

Being in or out of AA does not have a thing to do with whether or not one is a dry drunk or not. A dry drunk is a state of mind.

Not trying to stir a pot, but did some one say that?

hbb

Taz, couldn't have said that better myself. My Xabf is in AA, in a group, chair's meetings and is a speaker and IS a dry drunk. He know's what he needs to do to change it, but i think it's too hard for him to put in the effort and now he's back with his exgf that drinks. He never changed his people, places and things. When he left he was 6 months sober and just getting by in life. Nothing interests him, looks forward to nothing, could care less about anyone else. It truly is sad to see. Things may be better for him today as we haven't spoken but not sure. But alot could also be attributed to his just bad behavior and personality!!

nandm

You are so right. I have met people with over 20 years of not drinking in A.A. that were miserable, resentful, hateful, people. This same man brags in A.A. meetings about trying to cause resentments in people. Obviously he is still sick. I almost want to tell them that if not drinking is so miserable then maybe they should go back and drink but I know that would not be an answer to the problem. The problem is they never changed they just put the bottle down. Now they have no coping skills for life which is a scary place to be. No wonder they are miserable. I am a firm believer that no matter how you put the drink down you still have to change the behaviors that kept you drinking. Find a way to get rid of the resentments, fear, and anger. For me the 12 Steps did it but I know others have found different ways that have worked.

Alcoholism is a disease of the mind, body and spirit. All of which have to be addressed for the alcoholic to find a happy, successful life without alcohol.

bugsworth

Taz, The beauty of this forum is the wealth of knowledge and wide array of opinions and ideas, while I may not always agree, I sincerely try to understand different views with the understanding that, as you stated, opinions are not facts.



As I have stated before, and trying not to be redundant here, is I find the term "dry drunk" to be derogatory and demeaning. In the spirit of recovery I rather not label people black or white. There are many beautiful shades of grey, what works for one may not work for another.

And Taz I like you too! While we may not always agree, we can absolutely learn and grow from each others journey.

hbb

Bugsworth, i agree with your statement as a whole not to label people and i would never do that. But if you've lived with it first hand, as I did, for me there was no grey....it WAS black and white. My XA was/is that person. I would love to say it was a beautiful shade of grey but not the case. JMHO

bugsworth

Heather I understand your situation, and would never tell you how to feel. Only you know what kind of person your ex is. I just don't like the expression when it becomes a ranking system among sober alcoholics. It is akin to taking anothers inventory. I am sorry that you were put thru so much with your ex, and I hope you continue to find happiness and peace.

Sara9009

From a newbie to the board, there is most definitely an inference that if you are not working an AA based program you are a "dry drunk."

Sara9009

Sorry to put you as an example but this is an example of not working AA = Misery. Mental illness is a major factor in many addictions. We don't know the gentleman that you speak of but he could be suffering from a host of mental illness which is really hand in hand with addiction. So perhaps instead of getting treatment for his mental illness he is using AA when really he has a chemical imbalance that needs medication which of course he used alcohol to suppress for a time. So he is in AA for the Alcoholism but isn't getting treatment for his mental disorder.

My sister is huge in NA. She has gone everyday for three years and I can't thank the program enough. However, they also encouraged her that her anxiety meds and anti-depressants were another form of using and masking her fear, resentments, etc,. She goes off of them and goes absolutely batty because she thinks she is not sober taking her medication as prescribed. When in reality her brain has a chemical imbalance and the medication makes her a level person.

Pinkcuda

Those that have found true serenity don't care what people call them.

Bella_Fox

And what does it mean to not want to drink, really? I mean, what if I do all the work and there never comes a time when I don't wish I could still drink or get drunk -- even if I'm making changes in other ways and have been sober for six years? Do none of you ever wish you could still drink? (By the way, I'm honestly just curious -- that wasn't meant as a challenge, even if it sounded that way.)

SaTiT

Thanks for sharing Pinkcuda.
You give me hope.

There are those too that sufferes from GRAVE mental and disorders
but many recovered if they have the capcity to be honest.

Honestly i feel nutz sometimes and I'll even feel dispair or my ass
falls off sometimes in recovery...But I'm not misable and crazy.

My gf takes meds too and i can't tell her how to work her program.
I also know, when her perscriptions runs out, she gose into a major,
major withdraw and wants to kill herself. She'll call what ever doctor
or nurses and tell them whatever just to get her pills for her ills.
She can't live without them and a majority of her time and effort
now is center around her medications.
Becuase in reality her tolerance for the drugs gose up and up.
I personally think it sucks becuase i truley love her.
i don't know who she is anymore...she defferently not same person i knew
before all of th medication came into her life. She acts like a zoombie
or a robot when on her meds. She hasn't gotten any better since she
went on medications.

She might act out at times and have her blonde moments when she was
clean and sober, but at least she was there.

to answer you Fox..for me it means FREEDOM from a living hell