A bit of self realization
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: My House
Posts: 1,122
A bit of self realization
Good evening everyone,
I normally post on a few of the other boards, namely friends and family members of substance abusers, eating disorders, and mental health. But tonight I find myself needing to ponder something that I don't think would be appropriate anywhere but here.
Let me introduce myself first. I am 24 years old. My husband and I have been married for about 17 months now. I also started my career as a teacher relatively recently (this is my second year). I fell deep into the world of addiction awareness when I was 22, at which time I found out that my sister is a heroin addict. I have always thought of myself as being a bit of a food addict... and I felt, to a degree, like my sister's addiction was just further evidence that my food addiction was not only psychological, but perhaps physiological as well, on some level or another. After all, addiction and alcoholism run in my family...
Now, here's where alcoholism comes in: I've never been much of a drinker; I would drink once every few months, and then it was only enough to feel a slight buzz, if that. Well, the past three weekends in a row, I've found myself drinking. And not just a little. I've gotten heavily drunk the past three Saturdays. I've always had issues with depression and anxiety, and it's been worse lately with my sister relapsing, stress at work, and the fact that we just closed on our very first house on September 28th (so money is extremely tight right now). So, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm self medicating? I don't feel like I crave the alcohol, necessarily... but I haven't exactly been refusing it, either.
So, I know no one can tell me whether or not I'm an alcoholic... and I would never dare ask you to make such an assumption on such little info. But the question I would like an answer to is this: do I sound like someone who may be heading in that direction? If so, are there any pointers you can give me to avoid it? I don't want to head down the wrong path...but I'm a little bothered. Thoughts please? Thanks so much in advance.
*hugs*
Courtney
I normally post on a few of the other boards, namely friends and family members of substance abusers, eating disorders, and mental health. But tonight I find myself needing to ponder something that I don't think would be appropriate anywhere but here.
Let me introduce myself first. I am 24 years old. My husband and I have been married for about 17 months now. I also started my career as a teacher relatively recently (this is my second year). I fell deep into the world of addiction awareness when I was 22, at which time I found out that my sister is a heroin addict. I have always thought of myself as being a bit of a food addict... and I felt, to a degree, like my sister's addiction was just further evidence that my food addiction was not only psychological, but perhaps physiological as well, on some level or another. After all, addiction and alcoholism run in my family...
Now, here's where alcoholism comes in: I've never been much of a drinker; I would drink once every few months, and then it was only enough to feel a slight buzz, if that. Well, the past three weekends in a row, I've found myself drinking. And not just a little. I've gotten heavily drunk the past three Saturdays. I've always had issues with depression and anxiety, and it's been worse lately with my sister relapsing, stress at work, and the fact that we just closed on our very first house on September 28th (so money is extremely tight right now). So, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm self medicating? I don't feel like I crave the alcohol, necessarily... but I haven't exactly been refusing it, either.
So, I know no one can tell me whether or not I'm an alcoholic... and I would never dare ask you to make such an assumption on such little info. But the question I would like an answer to is this: do I sound like someone who may be heading in that direction? If so, are there any pointers you can give me to avoid it? I don't want to head down the wrong path...but I'm a little bothered. Thoughts please? Thanks so much in advance.
*hugs*
Courtney
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
I was so proud of myself when I only got drunk on the weekends!!.. but seriously, if you are posting on this board, then you may be questioning if this is going to become a problem. If you are thinking this could become a problem, it's time to "break the cycle".. don't drink for a few weekends and see how you feel. I had to quit cold turkey because I was out of control. I admire you throwing the question up there.. that takes bal... whoops, I mean that takes courage.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Well I am an alcoholic and I feel you have gotten some good words of advice, take this little quiz http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/....cfm?PageID=71 I can attest looking back "HONESTLY" over my drinking years that for me alcoholism was written all over me from the very beginning of my drinking. If I had taken this test 20 or 30 years ago would I have stopped drinking? I doubt it very seriously because alcoholism is the only disease known where one of its hallmark symptoms is a denial of the disease even with it staring me right in the face.
Book mark the quiz and take it every so often if you decide that you do not have a problem right now, because I can tell you for a fact that alcoholism is a progressive disease, when I first started drinking I could have answered 4 of those questions yes, as my years of drinking progressed I would have answered more of those questions yes. In the final years of my drinking I answered all but 2 with a yes and would have aced the test if I had not stopped drinking.
Book mark the quiz and take it every so often if you decide that you do not have a problem right now, because I can tell you for a fact that alcoholism is a progressive disease, when I first started drinking I could have answered 4 of those questions yes, as my years of drinking progressed I would have answered more of those questions yes. In the final years of my drinking I answered all but 2 with a yes and would have aced the test if I had not stopped drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: green hills of Vermont, USA
Posts: 251
Yes, you do sound like someone who is headed in that direction. You possess more knowledge of the disease and of addiction than some, which can be helpful. I agree with those who suggest that you stop it before it starts. And if you can't stop it.... well, that would be additional data for you.
The best to you from the Snowgoose.
The best to you from the Snowgoose.
one of many
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ellisville, FL
Posts: 200
You've already stated that you suspect a genetic predisposition. I'd have to agree with that. IMO it sounds like you are stepping foot on the twisted path. It only leads to misery, take it from me. Quit now while you still can, and if you have trouble then get help as soon as possible, the only thing you have to lose is everything.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fluttering About
Posts: 3,760
Hi
There is a section in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that may help you to answer that question for yourself.
Also you can go into an open meeting where you will find many other pamphlets and literature that may give you additional insights
many hugs
We are here if you need us
There is a section in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that may help you to answer that question for yourself.
Also you can go into an open meeting where you will find many other pamphlets and literature that may give you additional insights
many hugs
We are here if you need us
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