Debaucher

Ok, I have never avoided bars, even since the first day I quit. I really did the "for a good reason" thing. I have no problem being in a bar around drinking and have developed a real dislike of bars and drunk people.

Ok now to the point. I choose those situations. I control how long I stay and if I go. I choose to be around booze and am ready when I go. That being said, when I am on an airplane I have no control and didn't expect the person sitting basically on top of me to order a beer.

Wow the smell! it really got to me. It bugged me beyond belief. I chatted about it with my wife and she found it odd that the thing that bugged me the most about the situation was the fact that the person was drinking a beer I absolutely hate. Why is that?

Perhaps I resented that he could drink and I cannot. Why else would I get mad at his stupid choice of beers. WTF?

Oh well perhaps this isn't really a question as much as sharing a baffeling experience. Something to ponder.

Pinkcuda

We are careful to never show an intolerance towards drinking as an institution. Experience has shown that this is of no benefit to ourselves as well as others. When working with others a newcomer might view us as a Witchburner as opposed to someone who is out to help ourselves with our own problem with alcohol. Thats right out of the book. Pg 103. Lighten up and let others do what other people do. They are not your focus or objective. You are!

nolonger

Who knows why you freaked out, what strange reverse or double-reverse psychology was going on in your mind. Could be any number of things, the main is stay focused and calm about it, if you can. My subletter left behind a bottle of rice cooking wine in the fridge, which I had to open and pour down the sink. It was nauseating - the intense stink of hard alcohol freaked me out all day. I must have poured half a bottle of bleach down there after it. But really what was freaking me out was the smell-memory of all the wretched hungover mornings. Booze smell can be a powerful and unpleasant thing, since it's the closest you'll come to tasting alcohol.
take it easy...

chip

I can relate. I just wrote about my own experience with this in another thread. I think it's harder when we feel trapped.

I've had some similar experiences at certain management retreats I've attended for my job. I find it bothers me more when there is no way out, and I'm stuck in a situation where everyone else is drinking.... for example a boat cruise with an open bar. There's no where to hide. I try to avoid situations like that, but they do happen. I just remind myself that "this too shall pass".

I don't think anyone likes to feel vulurnable. I try to find comfort and strength from my HP.
chip

Tazman53

Debaucher, just a stab in the dark, I may or may not be right, it could simply be the fact that you had no control, I know I have no control over others and thier drinking, other people drinking around me does not bother me in the least, but I have yet to be in a spot like you were where I had no control at all.

What I mean by no control is you could not simply get up and go home, you were stuck on the plane in that seat more then likely, so there it was, you had no control over whether it was there or you were there. You had no choice in the matter at all.

I am just wild guessing, I could be totally wrong. The important thing is you didn't order and drink one, by that act alone you did show exactly what you needed to do to maintain the only control you really have and that is over your self and whether you were going to drink or not.

This may be a simple matter of acceptance, accepting that you found being in a situation like that annoying, but more importantly accept the fact that you did what you needed to do to stay sober that day.

Debaucher

thanks all... after some time to reflect on it... I think I understand the myriad of feelings better today than yesterday.

1.) and I kind of got it at the time... I was initially disturbed because I didn't choose to be around alcohol and I had no choice to get away from it.

2.) why did the type of beer bug me even more... now this is the emotion I must delve deeper into. It seemed so natural I didn't give it a second thought until it puzzeled my wife. This wierd feeling is rooted in a feeling that if I can't enjoy beer anymore then others should enjoy it for me. Not quite living vicariously but more that they are abusing their right to drink. They can drink and wonderful tasty good choices exist and they choose utter garbage...

so I need to spend some time on that in meditation because I thought my desire to drink was lifted... and on some level it is.. but at another level I must have issues left to be resolved. I know I still covet the experience of being a beer connoisseur. I miss disecting and enjoying the nuances of this or that beer.

On that level it has nothing to do with alcohol and drunkeness yet at the same time they are so intertwined I must resolve this issue as it threatens my sobriety. I must morne the loss of this activity properly or believe I will be able to drink again normally... because I sure don't want to let this feeling fester and slowly eat at me...

snowgoose

Yeah, well.... true it was an unfortunate situation over which you had no control. But for some reason I can totally relate to your reaction. What I got without even doing any analytical thinking, was a parallel to being forced to breathe someone else's cigarette smoke - and that is not a true parallel. The good aspect is you took a close look at your motives, etc. Might happen to me someday, so thanks for sharing.