Embarrassing question
No more merlot, more mamma
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Embarrassing question
Hey everyone,
Ok, I'm just putting this out there. Have other folks had trouble with lack of sex drive in early sobriety? I know that usually when I'm under stress, that's the last thing on my mind, and life is sorta stressful. But, it's been awhile and I'm having a hard time getting the groove back. I"m in a very stable loving happy relationship.
Thoughts are appreciated..
Thanks,
Karen
Ok, I'm just putting this out there. Have other folks had trouble with lack of sex drive in early sobriety? I know that usually when I'm under stress, that's the last thing on my mind, and life is sorta stressful. But, it's been awhile and I'm having a hard time getting the groove back. I"m in a very stable loving happy relationship.
Thoughts are appreciated..
Thanks,
Karen
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Different anti-depressants have more or less effect on the sex drive. If one is causing you problems speak with your doctor. They should be able to either switch your meds or provide you with some other solution.
I don't think it is uncommon in early sobriety. Our bodies are usually beat up when we finally get here and it takes a while for things to start working right again. Hormone levels start changing and normalizing. Many alcoholics find out in sobriety that they have thyroid problems. This can cause depression, a lowered sex drive, as well as many other problems. It would probably be a good idea to speak to your doctor about the problem even if it isn't related to anti-depressants.
I don't think it is uncommon in early sobriety. Our bodies are usually beat up when we finally get here and it takes a while for things to start working right again. Hormone levels start changing and normalizing. Many alcoholics find out in sobriety that they have thyroid problems. This can cause depression, a lowered sex drive, as well as many other problems. It would probably be a good idea to speak to your doctor about the problem even if it isn't related to anti-depressants.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
I was going through menopause when I first stopped drinking. About a month after quitting I started having some spotting and evenually, much more to where I had to carry an extra sent of clothes with me to work.
I told my doc and he sent me to a specialist and I was put on birthcontrol pills to stop the bleeding....first part of the pills..double strength then had a Laporascopy & they found I just needed a D & C and from then on no problems.
I do have a low sex drive from my antidepressant but can accept that because I do not want to change my meds that are working so good.
kelsh
I told my doc and he sent me to a specialist and I was put on birthcontrol pills to stop the bleeding....first part of the pills..double strength then had a Laporascopy & they found I just needed a D & C and from then on no problems.
I do have a low sex drive from my antidepressant but can accept that because I do not want to change my meds that are working so good.
kelsh
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Actually, for me, sobriety and anti-d's had no negative eefect on sexual energy. if anything, it returned because my stress levels (mostly) lowered and overall health improved.
however, i DO find i am less attracted to "romance" as another mood-altering activity. I find myself content to just be good friends with men and to be more patient with relationships, not to feel pressured by anyone.
it will even out for you, too. I'm sure. it sounds like life is sorta stressful for you. maybe you just need to rest and relax.
however, i DO find i am less attracted to "romance" as another mood-altering activity. I find myself content to just be good friends with men and to be more patient with relationships, not to feel pressured by anyone.
it will even out for you, too. I'm sure. it sounds like life is sorta stressful for you. maybe you just need to rest and relax.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I think I've got that side effect from my AD's......had them for a long time and I don't know if it will disappear or not. I wish I had some advice on this but.......I could use some myself.
You should have titled this thread "Getting the Groove Back" Karen. It made me giggle.
You should have titled this thread "Getting the Groove Back" Karen. It made me giggle.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
A lot of times, Karen, alcohol is the great de-inhibitor. We feel like we can let our hair down after a few, and even though it numbs our reactions, it doesn't feel that way. Getting sober, our responses are often...alien? uncomfortable?
My suggestion? First, be patient with yourself. Second, check out a book or a website on ******* sex. It focuses more on connecting with your partner than achieving orgasm, and it can go a long way toward improving intimacy, and as a result, sexual response.
Good luck! Once you get the hang of it, sober sex rocks!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
My suggestion? First, be patient with yourself. Second, check out a book or a website on ******* sex. It focuses more on connecting with your partner than achieving orgasm, and it can go a long way toward improving intimacy, and as a result, sexual response.
Good luck! Once you get the hang of it, sober sex rocks!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I decided to opt for chastity in early sobriety ..
Why?
Too many men and too many meaningless flings.
Also.......Remember...
S=sSingle
E=Expereinces
X=Xciting
Why?
Too many men and too many meaningless flings.
Also....
...Remember...S=sSingle
E=Expereinces
X=Xciting
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: green hills of Vermont, USA
Posts: 251
"Performance" problems are well-known side effects with some antidepressants while others possibly even enhance. Sugah notes that alcohol is a de-inhibitor. When I was using alcohol, I most definitely used it that way - always drank when sex was on the menu. But a few years before I stopped drinking, I had a boyfriend who was in recovery, so had to deal without booze, so was ready for that issue when I went into recovery myself. I personally did not note any change in libido in early sobriety, but with me it has generally been a long time between relationships, which alters the experience. I didn't have a boyfriend during early recovery - until about four months sober - and definitely no casual sex (ever).
No more merlot, more mamma
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Well, you all have made me feel less embarrassed, thank you.
Stone, I've been on this anti d for a few years now. But I was drinking on it, so it probably wasn't working. I feel good generally, and when I was off them cause of financial reasons, it JUST WASN'T GOOD. So I know I have to stay on them. I'm def gonna check in with my doc when the bennies kick in from my new job.
I'm gonna look into that Sugah...seems to be the ticket. My partner misses the intimacy, though is understanding, and just being close together could be the answer to both of our needs right now. Thanks.
As for sober sex being great, well, lets figure this out: I've been drinking since I was 14, I quit when I was 42...had two kids...so I honestly don't have any idea (until recently)what sober sex is!
Hey, I'm a 43 year old virgin!!!
Stone, I've been on this anti d for a few years now. But I was drinking on it, so it probably wasn't working. I feel good generally, and when I was off them cause of financial reasons, it JUST WASN'T GOOD. So I know I have to stay on them. I'm def gonna check in with my doc when the bennies kick in from my new job.
I'm gonna look into that Sugah...seems to be the ticket. My partner misses the intimacy, though is understanding, and just being close together could be the answer to both of our needs right now. Thanks.
As for sober sex being great, well, lets figure this out: I've been drinking since I was 14, I quit when I was 42...had two kids...so I honestly don't have any idea (until recently)what sober sex is!
Hey, I'm a 43 year old virgin!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Hi Karen,
Oh, my god. I have the same problem. I'm coming up on a month sober. I have no sex drive what ever. I feel so bad for my husband. I don't take any antidepressants. Only St. john's wort.
I definitely got to get my butt to the Dr. I was told that i might be going through early menopause. I also have a slow thyroid possibly. My hormones are all screwed up. I don't know why i keep putting off going to the Dr's. I really hate them and also can have a overwhelming fear of them (certain kinds of Dr's).
I think my HP is telling me something.
Barb
Oh, my god. I have the same problem. I'm coming up on a month sober. I have no sex drive what ever. I feel so bad for my husband. I don't take any antidepressants. Only St. john's wort.
I definitely got to get my butt to the Dr. I was told that i might be going through early menopause. I also have a slow thyroid possibly. My hormones are all screwed up. I don't know why i keep putting off going to the Dr's. I really hate them and also can have a overwhelming fear of them (certain kinds of Dr's).
I think my HP is telling me something.
Barb
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
