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Residential programs for relapse

Old 10-15-2007, 08:07 PM
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Residential programs for relapse

I am looking for advice and recommendations:

About 4 years ago I was a fifth a day vodka, plus whatever drinker. I found AA and with the addition of an outpatient program, substantially recovered. However my history has been to go out and start drinking again every three to four months - never to the same extent, but enough to cause problems at home with my wife. I am deeply appreciative of the help I have found in AA, but I still can't seem to stay convinced that I should not drink.

My wife, perhaps via Al-Anon, is convinced that a residential 28 day program is what I need. I would be willing to do that if I really though it would help - so what do YOU think ? How would it work at a rehab if I was already 90 days sober and attending AA every other day ? What would a rehab add ?

Thanks for any input
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Old 10-15-2007, 08:59 PM
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Welcome to SR!

Congratulations on your progress.

I have no personal experiences
as I did not go to a re hab.

I did relapse often ...took me 5 years
in AA to earn my 1 year medallion.

Here is a link to excerpts from the book
that finally convinced me to stop.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html


Blessings to you and your wife
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Old 10-15-2007, 09:14 PM
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Originally Posted by MDScot View Post
.....my history has been to go out and start drinking again every three to four months - never to the same extent, but enough to cause problems at home with my wife. I am deeply appreciative of the help I have found in AA, but I still can't seem to stay convinced that I should not drink....
Your statement "....I still can't seem to stay convinced that I should not drink" says a lot. I think that you have identified the problem that keeps you in the insanity (doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results). It was only when I had gotten to a place where I knew I needed to quit drinking, because it was creating such destruction and insanity in my life, but I knew that I did not know how to live without drinking that I was able to surrender to the fact that I am an alcoholic. I was desperate and felt that A.A. was my last hope. I was at a place where I was ready to put a gun to my head if my only option was to continue the insanity created when I drank.

A.A. gave me hope that I could live without drinking and stop the insanity in my head and life. I held on to that hope until I was able to surrender to the fact that my life is unmanageble when I drink and when I drink I have no control over it. I was to the point that I never knew if I was going to be able to drink just one or two, or if I would turn it into 30 or more. I also never knew who I was going to be when I drank, Dr. Jekyl or You Better Run and Hide.

One thing that has helped me to not pick up a drink in nearly 7 years has been anytime I have thought about drinking to "play the tape through" in my head. See past that first drink through to the next several months or so. Really get a picture of what happens every time I have had a period of abstinence and picked up again. It is always the same result. My life becomes even more unmanageable and my head gets even more insane. I do not have any trouble remembering my last drunk (up to the point I blacked out). I also have no trouble remembering the insanity that came with my drinking and the difficulty of putting my life back together once the drinking stopped.

I never want to have to go through those first few years of physical, mental, emotional, financial, relationship, material repair again. It was too much work. I find it easier to work the program of A.A. to the best of my ability on a daily basis to help ensure my sobriety.

As far as rehab goes. I personally have no experience with it. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days. Made a point to surround my self with people I believed had a strong sobriety. Followed the direction given to me and really listen to what people said. Since then I continue to work the steps in my life on a daily basis. I have a home group and a sponsor. I have developed friendships outside of A.A. Ironically, all the people I drank with are gone from my life. They just filtered away with time.

I don't work this thing perfectly. I have good and bad days just like anyone. I am also aware that I could pick up a drink at anytime. That is why I keep doing the foot work to guard from that. I believe that a person can find sobriety without rehab. But I also see that rehab has helped a significant amount of people.

It sounds like you have a good support in your wife. It would probably be good to sit down with her and discuss your concerns. I would also recommend talking with your sponsor if you have one. If you don't then speak to someone in A.A. that knows you. They can give you some more suggestions. Good luck. I hope you are able to find peace with yourself and your life. Glad you are posting here.

Last edited by nandm; 10-15-2007 at 09:44 PM.
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Old 10-15-2007, 09:35 PM
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Hi MD,

You've said that you go to AA. Have you worked the steps? Do you have a sponsor? I find that I have learned alot by having a sponsor and actually doing the work in order to stay sober. I don't have any experience with rehab either..but you've gotten some good advice here.

Glad that you are here too!

Karen
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Old 10-16-2007, 03:42 AM
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Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path… (page 58, Alcoholics Anonymous).

Notice they didn't say, KINDA followed our path,

They didn't say, went to meetings but didn't do the steps...

yada, yada, yada...

I kept relapsing too. I am now living in a sober house for men. Yes what I did was drastic (I left my whole life behind), but I need to do whatever it takes (for me) to stay sober. I don't want to go there any more, never again.

One of the big sayings is "it works if you work it".

So how do you work it?

Ask a higher power for help in the morning.

Plan your day around a meeting. (Make sobriety your #1 priority).

Get a sponsor and call him every day.

Get active in AA. (make coffee, go on committments, put away chairs, etc.)

Call two other members of AA during the day, even if just to say hi.

Before you retire for the evening, thank your higher power for the simple fact that you are laying your head on your pillow sober.

You have the tools, they are right there in front of you.

It is up to you to use them or not.

Should you go to rehab? I can't answer that.
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Old 10-16-2007, 04:20 AM
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MDscot I did not do a rehab after detox, looking back on it now I think it may have made things easier, but I threw myself heart and soul into AA!

I worked it hard! Everything Groucho mentioned I did..... I wanted it BAD!!!!

AA is no different then any other program of recovery or anything in life in general, you get out of it what you put into it!

For me sobriety became and still is my number one priority in my life, I have told my wife this and she understands and accepts this, we both know where I was at after 40 years of drinking, the last 5 of which consisted of almost daily black outs. How in the world I did not lose my job or wind up in jail for multiple DUIs I have no idea!

I know that the second I put ANYTHING in front of my sobriety I may very well lose it all, my whole life would wind up being the fullfillment of all the yets.

If you are doing everything that Groucho mentioned and still find your self relapsing every 3-4 months, maybe a rehab would help, maybe it just may be you have not finished drinking yet, I am not saying that to be mean, for some folks it is just a fact.

I pray that I have had enough to drink, I feel I have, I have worked all the steps and continue to work them and live them to the best of my ability, I am also a sponsor who helps other alcoholics get and stay sober.

It says in the BB several times that the most effective way of staying sober when all else fails it working with other alcoholics, I can tell you it sure helps me.

Do not give up, be willing to do what ever it takes to stop, if it means really working AA then do it, if it means rehab and then really working AA do that, just do not give up, keep at it, sobriety is there for anyone willing to work for it.

Talk to your sponsor about this, if you do not have a sponsor I would suggest getting one and talking to them about this.
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Old 10-16-2007, 05:08 AM
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Hey and welcome MDScot.

I did not do an inpatient recovery program but I did do 6 weeks in an outpatient program followed by 9 months of early recovery therapy in addition to A.A. and N.A. I think they helped me. They gave me an opportunity to learn some different information and to have some of the same information presented in a different manner. We are not all the same person even though we share the same disease and different people learn at different rates and in different ways.

At one time, I might have thought that inpatient rehab was just for people who needed help detoxing, but two books, "Dry: A Memoir" by Augusten Burroughs and "Time Is All We Have" by Barnaby Conrad, have convinced me otherwise. Both include personal accounts of what inpatient rehab is like and what the authors went through physically, mentally, and spiritually during their stays.

I know people in the programs who swear by their stays in rehab and I know people who say they tried rehab numerous times and didn't get sober until they put both feet down in A.A. We are pegs of many shapes and sizes and there's more than one hole in recovery for us to fit in.

I don't think anyone can guarantee an outcome for you before you go but I think you might want to consider it because the only way to know if it will work is to actually try it with an honest desire to get the most out of it and a willingness to let it do what it can do. By your own admission, what you are currently doing is not producing the results you desire. So try something else.
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Old 10-16-2007, 05:18 AM
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Thank you, thank you, for all of the responses.

Thinking about what everyone has said, I think the questions that I have to honestly answer is how much do I want sobriety and how can I come to believe that the steps make sense ( 1,2 and 3 are fine - after that I start to question:-)). Would a 28 day stay in rehab help with these questions?n

Thanks again for each and every input
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Old 10-16-2007, 06:22 AM
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Nice to meet you MDScot,

Your story sounds very similiar to mine. I was also a fifth to a liter vodka drinker during my active days. For years I would sober up, find AA, get "cured" , and then go right back out again and again. I guess I wasn't at my bottom yet, but I was digging quick......the last time I "experimented" with my control was a joke...no control at all, up to a 1.75 Lt a day.. The world around me that I was holding at bay for many years, crumbled real quick.......
I had always said that in-patient rehab was for those who are real sick, I'll never be that sick......BUT I was that sick and that tired....after talks with my wife and doctor, we all agreed 28 day rehab was my only and maybe LAST chance at saving my life....
It wasn't easy, it wasn't cheap, it was no picnic.....But that rehab gave me alot of tools and insight, that gets me through each day....I was alone with my thoughts, I got a break from life to concentrate on ME,ME ME.... After I got home I continued with my old recovery program, but this time it seemed different , I STARTED GETTING IT !!!!!
It has been 17 months since then, I'm doing real well today.
Just my story, hope it helps.........

The rehab facility was local and I saw my family every Sun. which helped alot...

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.........

Work Hard and Enjoy Life.....Ned
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Old 10-16-2007, 06:52 AM
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Would a 28 day stay in rehab help with these questions?
It could, but are you know working the steps with a sponsor? I was like you, the first 3 made sense to me I thought, until I started working them with a sponsor.... what a difference!!!

What I found out by working with a sponsor was that step one was the only one I needed to perfect to stay sober, I need to keep it in my head that I am powerless over alocohol once I have had that first drink.

Are you working with a sponsor? The rehab could very well get you over the hump, but in reality you say you are on a 3-4 month relapse cycle, 28 days may not be the ticket, or it just might be.

The rehab is certainly not going to hurt you at all and as BBQ shared, it was the ticket for him so it may very well be for you as well.
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Old 10-16-2007, 07:19 AM
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nice to meet you, mdscot. my daughter went to two rehabs - one for almost 90 days and a second 28 day program. she still struggles with her addiction. but the rehab experience was a good one. she got a lot of tools there.

keep posting! k
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Old 10-16-2007, 12:47 PM
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Smile Rehab or not?

Hi MdScot,

When I was in my 30's I went to in-patient rehab and enjoyed being away from my family so much decided to get a divorce.....big mistake...I stayed sober about one year with AA but didn't work the steps and then drank for 14 more years.

This time I was much worse, drank less but got drunk easier. I finally made a decision to get help and was hospitalized for detox for six days. I went to AA every evening starting the day I was released from the hospital. I went to counseling for my alcoholism and depression at the same time, too. After a month, I agreed to go to in-house rehab. I hated it. It was for hard-core alcoholics/addicts...just what I needed. When I got there I had been sober a month but my head was still foggy.

When I got back home, I was ready to work my AA Program and did all the suggested things like get a sponsor, read the Big Book, attend 90 meetings in 90 days but I attend more than 365 meetings in the first year. I wanted to be sober more than anything in my life. 6 When I had my first birthday I just couldn't quit smiling.

I do think it depends on the person and what they want to do and how bad they want to stay sober. It took what it took for me. My brother went to treatment four or five times and is still out there at the age of 65.

Life is good for me now. I have 19 years of sobriety and still work the AA Program some every day.: lmao

kelsh
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Old 10-16-2007, 01:01 PM
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I thought that by now, Brittney and Lindsay would have cast a lot of doubt as to whether Rehab was the answer or not. It works as well as you want it to. AA works as well as you want it to. The only real is your desire to quit overpowering your desire to drink. That only has to happen today. Wake up tomorrow and do it again.
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Old 10-16-2007, 02:36 PM
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It's what I do after treatment that counts.

If you need to de-tox, by all means do it . But I don't think a 28 day program would teach me anything that AA hasn't or won't.
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Old 10-16-2007, 05:38 PM
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A treatment center is where you go and pay $15,000 to find out that A.A. meetings are free.

I just found a web site with over 400 AA sayings and I just couldn't resist.

(sneaking quietly away.............)
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