Ug
No more merlot, more mamma
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Ug
Last night, a good friend invited us over for an end of summer bbq. Very small..started out nicely. But, there was this one woman there, who proceeded to get very very drunk. REally drunk. As I watched her, interact with her little girl, her husband, try to make conversation with everyone else...blech I was completely avoiding her at all costs. Someone mentioned that A and i don't drink, and I freely shared that I was in recovery and everyone was being silly making Twelve Step solutions to made up things, all in good fun, and this woman starts asking me questions: "Well, how do you know if you have a problem?", "what if you come home every night and have a cocktail?" "or five?". So, although I didn't want to talk about it, I said something like, well, if you wonder if you have a problem why don't you take one of those tests?..to which she replied, "no, I won't be honest". Ok. So this is someone who probably, more than likely not has a problem. I know it was horrible of me, but I was praying to God that she wouldn't ask about going to a meeting with us or something like that...It seemed that she was just trying to "play" us...I don't know. It was extremely uncomfortable. I went to bed thanking God that I don't drink anymore.
Then today we hang out with our great group of women friends, but there was some drama between a few of them, and it just made me sad. I was looking forward to this weekend, and to be honest, in the end, I sorta wish we just stayed home and rented movies. I'm all done with drama.
Ok. I vented. Thanks for reading. Going to bed.
Karen
Then today we hang out with our great group of women friends, but there was some drama between a few of them, and it just made me sad. I was looking forward to this weekend, and to be honest, in the end, I sorta wish we just stayed home and rented movies. I'm all done with drama.
Ok. I vented. Thanks for reading. Going to bed.
Karen
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
Watching other drunks is a powerful tool to use in our own sobriety. Ther're not nearly as witty, charming, and cleaver as I thought I was. God willing, nobody will ever look at me like that again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Hi Karen,
Thanks for sharing. I agree with what Pinkcuda said.
Drunks like to draw people into their own little world. I know I was like that when I drank. At my place of work, I deal with drunk people all the time. Many of them get a "look at me" attitude, and they try to suck others in. Their logic can be messed up, and many of them like to play head games. Again, I've done stuff like this myself.
I try to stay away from "soul suckers". They can really damage my serenity if I let them. I don't think people with drinking problems ever seriously reach out for help when they're at a bar or at a party.... They may reach out, but often it's to pull someone else down. That's just my experience.
chip
Thanks for sharing. I agree with what Pinkcuda said.
Drunks like to draw people into their own little world. I know I was like that when I drank. At my place of work, I deal with drunk people all the time. Many of them get a "look at me" attitude, and they try to suck others in. Their logic can be messed up, and many of them like to play head games. Again, I've done stuff like this myself.
I try to stay away from "soul suckers". They can really damage my serenity if I let them. I don't think people with drinking problems ever seriously reach out for help when they're at a bar or at a party.... They may reach out, but often it's to pull someone else down. That's just my experience.
chip
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Originally Posted by chip 
Hi Karen,
I don't think people with drinking problems ever seriously reach out for help when they're at a bar or at a party.... They may reach out, but often it's to pull someone else down. That's just my experience.
chip
I don't think people with drinking problems ever seriously reach out for help when they're at a bar or at a party.... They may reach out, but often it's to pull someone else down. That's just my experience.
chip
My experience also.
I have been tested many times by active drinkers as well as just icky "normal" people. (my new diagnosis: Ickism)
It helps to first get a little distance, and then, view the most offending (to me, that is) behaviours as if they were a mirror....mirroring to me some latent potential within myself to produce this same behaviour on some level (worse or lesser version).
Looking at the whole spectrum of possiblitities, based on my own past, allows me to get gratitude RIGHT away, that today I have more healthy coping skills, today I have a healthier and stronger sense of self and don't have such deep dysfunctional needs to drag others into drama.
But, boy. I can relate to all bad behaviour as if it were my own. Keeps it "green' just like seeing a drunk reminds me of the hell I lived in before sobriety.
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
I know how you feel drama and others just get too much at times - also hard when you've been building up (THOSE PESKY expectations again!) and looking forward to and it just does not work out the way we hoped! 
In those situations it's nice to retreat to one's own home - and do some stepwork and gratitude lists! 
Cathhy31\
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In those situations it's nice to retreat to one's own home - and do some stepwork and gratitude lists! Cathhy31\
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Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Karen sounds like over all you handled it well, who knows...... maybe, just maybe, you may have been that glimmer of hope that she needed to see, you might just be the one that she sees that has what she wants.... if she does have a problem. I always need to remind myslef that sometimes people that do not have a problem get drunk, not just alcoholics.
I need to always remember to worry about my own inventory and not take others for them. I do however pay attention to drunks, as already said, it reminds me of where I came from, it keeps the reason I am in recovery fresh to where I stay there.
I need to always remember to worry about my own inventory and not take others for them. I do however pay attention to drunks, as already said, it reminds me of where I came from, it keeps the reason I am in recovery fresh to where I stay there.
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