4th day sober + my birthday today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Latvia, Riga
Posts: 5
4th day sober + my birthday today
Hello everyone!
Found this website about a month ago. I have been reading a lot of posts for the last week, but this is my first time writing one.
Have been drinking for about 4 years about 4 times a week and this website has helped me alot in the last days staying sober in the evenings.
Today is my 25th bithday and since I have discovered alcohol (that was about 10 years ago) I haven't had any birthday wthout booze, and now I am willing to take a big step staying sober today but I don't know if I can do it.
I definatelly won't go out with my friends. I wouldn't be much of an entertainer and also I have been feeling VERY anxions for the last week.
My plan for today: go to lunch with parents, come home, watch DVDs this evening and try to stay sober by reading forum.
I hope you can understand me, because English is not very good.
Very big thanks to this forum and everyone writing here.
Please write any advice for my if you have.
Thank You!
Found this website about a month ago. I have been reading a lot of posts for the last week, but this is my first time writing one.
Have been drinking for about 4 years about 4 times a week and this website has helped me alot in the last days staying sober in the evenings.
Today is my 25th bithday and since I have discovered alcohol (that was about 10 years ago) I haven't had any birthday wthout booze, and now I am willing to take a big step staying sober today but I don't know if I can do it.
I definatelly won't go out with my friends. I wouldn't be much of an entertainer and also I have been feeling VERY anxions for the last week.
My plan for today: go to lunch with parents, come home, watch DVDs this evening and try to stay sober by reading forum.
I hope you can understand me, because English is not very good.
Very big thanks to this forum and everyone writing here.
Please write any advice for my if you have.
Thank You!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Happy Birthday Bonaparte and welcome.I try and get on here every day and find it a big help.Even though it's all about alcohol and dealing with it,i find it takes my mind off actually wanting to drink it.When i read about sobriety dates and relapses it empasises the importance of it all and keeps me resolute.By the way,your english is very good.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fluttering About
Posts: 3,760
bonaparte
welcome aboard!!! Glad to have you with us...fasten your seatr belt...It is an awesome journey....Awareness is the first step. You can do this...One day at a time. The wonderful thing about the fellowship is we never have to doit alone. We are here with you and for you.
Congrads on your days...
I hope you keep us posted on your progress.
Do you go to meetings? Might suggest that as face to face meetings in your area can be a tremendous source of support and encouragement as wellas these forums
Keep it simple.
welcome aboard!!! Glad to have you with us...fasten your seatr belt...It is an awesome journey....Awareness is the first step. You can do this...One day at a time. The wonderful thing about the fellowship is we never have to doit alone. We are here with you and for you.
Congrads on your days...
I hope you keep us posted on your progress.
Do you go to meetings? Might suggest that as face to face meetings in your area can be a tremendous source of support and encouragement as wellas these forums
Keep it simple.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Latvia, Riga
Posts: 5
Thanks for the cograts and support!
I have been to one meeting but I think that face to face meetings won't work for me because I have trouble expressing myself in front of other people. I started taking antidepressants about 5 years ago for that reason. I can't see myself going to a meeting and talking. The one time that I went I was nervous as hell.
I was like: "Please, don't ask me any questions!"
I know that you can just come to the meetings and listen for a while but I don't want to feel like a weirdo.
For now I'll just keep reading and posting here. Maybe this should do it.
Soon I am off to my lunch with my parents and then the tricky evening part.
I have been to one meeting but I think that face to face meetings won't work for me because I have trouble expressing myself in front of other people. I started taking antidepressants about 5 years ago for that reason. I can't see myself going to a meeting and talking. The one time that I went I was nervous as hell.
I was like: "Please, don't ask me any questions!"I know that you can just come to the meetings and listen for a while but I don't want to feel like a weirdo.
For now I'll just keep reading and posting here. Maybe this should do it.
Soon I am off to my lunch with my parents and then the tricky evening part.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR bonoparte and Happy Birthday!!!!
The best advice I can give over all is to take it one day at a time!
Yesterday is gone, we can not change that.
Tomorrow is NEVER here!!!!
Today is the only thing we have control over.
When I used to want a drink I would simply decide I will have that drink tomorrow if I want to.
Okay now for this alcoholic and many others the worst thing I could do early in sobriety was to isolate, isolate allowed me to sit around and THINK!!!!
We alcoholics are thinkers, our disease gets into our thought process when we are isolating and tries to convince us that one drink will not hurt, it will be better this time and I will be able to control it. Do something!!!!! Go to the library, a movie, to a none drinking friends house, a long walk..... what ever, maybe do some charity work.
Meetings for me are great, but I did not like going at first, I really had no idea what was really going on, I did have a temporary sponsor which helped a lot because he answered questions I had, gave me some guidance, and was simply there if I needed him.
I know folks who have gone to 1-2 meetings a day for months and never said a word, I never thought they were weird, I know what it is like to be scared crapless of talking about me and my problems, but I have found that if I share my problems it cuts them in half just by saying I have a problem, and then to hear from others that they had the same problem and they share with me the solution they found for it that helps a lot.
Keep coming back, stay busy and check out other meetings, show up 10 minutes early and just try to say hi to people, sit in the very back and say nothing, if someone ask you something during the meeting, just tell them you are just listening, trust me, they will understand, they have been right where you are at now.
The best advice I can give over all is to take it one day at a time!
Yesterday is gone, we can not change that.
Tomorrow is NEVER here!!!!
Today is the only thing we have control over.
When I used to want a drink I would simply decide I will have that drink tomorrow if I want to.
Okay now for this alcoholic and many others the worst thing I could do early in sobriety was to isolate, isolate allowed me to sit around and THINK!!!!
We alcoholics are thinkers, our disease gets into our thought process when we are isolating and tries to convince us that one drink will not hurt, it will be better this time and I will be able to control it. Do something!!!!! Go to the library, a movie, to a none drinking friends house, a long walk..... what ever, maybe do some charity work.
Meetings for me are great, but I did not like going at first, I really had no idea what was really going on, I did have a temporary sponsor which helped a lot because he answered questions I had, gave me some guidance, and was simply there if I needed him.
I know folks who have gone to 1-2 meetings a day for months and never said a word, I never thought they were weird, I know what it is like to be scared crapless of talking about me and my problems, but I have found that if I share my problems it cuts them in half just by saying I have a problem, and then to hear from others that they had the same problem and they share with me the solution they found for it that helps a lot.
Keep coming back, stay busy and check out other meetings, show up 10 minutes early and just try to say hi to people, sit in the very back and say nothing, if someone ask you something during the meeting, just tell them you are just listening, trust me, they will understand, they have been right where you are at now.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: green hills of Vermont, USA
Posts: 251
When I first went to AA meetings I was incredibly nervous. For the first five weeks, I never spoke and was also terrified that someone would make me say something. Finally I made my painful debut opening my mouth at a very small meeting. *Whew* I knew I eventually had to talk and the small meeting was a perfect time. I think there may have been eight people there. I could not have stayed sober without AA but it has been working for me, One Day at a Time, for quite a few 24hours now.
Best to you from the Snowgoose.
Best to you from the Snowgoose.
:
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Latvia, Riga
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
We alcoholics are thinkers, our disease gets into our thought process when we are isolating and tries to convince us that one drink will not hurt, it will be better this time and I will be able to control it. Do something!!!!! Go to the library, a movie, to a none drinking friends house, a long walk..... what ever, maybe do some charity work.
But tonight I'll just stay at home- too depressing to do anything else, like go to a movie alone on your birthday. But I have to hang in!! This is the crappiest birthday so far but I will thank myself later. It is just something I have to do.
Thanks for the congrats everyone!
And I think you had me more convinced that I should try to go to a meeting again.
THANKS!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
In AA many of us have 2 birthdays, our bellybutton birthday and our sobriety (Date of last drink) birthday, I actually am far happier Sept. 18th then I am on my bellybutton birthday. You see I was reborn into a new life that led to a new me, a person I like today, someone who I respect and is very happy with my new life.
It may not seem like it now, but if you stay sober you too will value that date more then your birthday.
It may not seem like it now, but if you stay sober you too will value that date more then your birthday.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Latvia, Riga
Posts: 5
Today I almost relapsed. Earlier when I was taking my grandpa back from my family birthday lunch about 10 reasons popped into my head why drinking just tonight wouldn't be so bad after all.
But now when I have spent I few hours at home doing some cleaning, reading posts, posting. Evening is coming to an end I think it hasn't been so hard. I haven't been drinking today. One day at a time.
Night isn't still over though. I'll watch TV and hope to stay sober.
But now when I have spent I few hours at home doing some cleaning, reading posts, posting. Evening is coming to an end I think it hasn't been so hard. I haven't been drinking today. One day at a time.
Night isn't still over though. I'll watch TV and hope to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fluttering About
Posts: 3,760
bonaparte
Wonderful!!!! We can learn from those "almosts". For me I learned to lean more on and rely upon my Hp and would try to look at what it was that may have triggered that desire.
You are doing great.!!!!
Wonderful!!!! We can learn from those "almosts". For me I learned to lean more on and rely upon my Hp and would try to look at what it was that may have triggered that desire.
You are doing great.!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Latvia, Riga
Posts: 5
just rented a dvd, and JUST cigarettes in a local liqueur store (store clerk who knows me very well was very surprised, I think, that no booze today)
When I walked out of the store I was feeling much better and proud of myself. Not that I was fighting against my consciousness inside the store whether to buy the booze or not- I mainly had decided it before I walked in. But the feeling when I walked out without a bottle of vodka was very good.
Thanks for reading this.
When I walked out of the store I was feeling much better and proud of myself. Not that I was fighting against my consciousness inside the store whether to buy the booze or not- I mainly had decided it before I walked in. But the feeling when I walked out without a bottle of vodka was very good.
Thanks for reading this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Savannah, GA - Originally Illinois
Posts: 3
Happy Birthday and congratulations! I think you just gave yourself a wonderful present :-) When I first got sober, it was suggested to me 90 meetings in 90 days. And also to just listen. To look for what I had in common with others, NOT what was different from others. If you are really so uncomfortable at meetings, and feel out of place by not talking, maybe you could find some speaker meetings? That way EVERYONE but the speaker is just listening. And you might not feel so funny. Also, another suggestion that was made to me was, that if possible, to avoid people, places and things that I related to drinking. Not to test mysef. Of course these are just suggestions and you can just take what you need and leave the rest. And remember, One Day (one minute) at a Time :-)
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