"Under the Influence" excerpt "Getting the Alcoholic Into Treatment
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"Under the Influence" excerpt "Getting the Alcoholic Into Treatment
Chapter 8
Getting the Alcoholic Into Treatment pg. 117-119
I doubt if any alcoholic ever wakes up, looks out the window, and says, "This would be a nice day to go for rehabilitation. I think I'll call the doctor." He may not see the gun, but some type of pressure - outside forces or his health - motivates him.
Thomas Fleming, M.D.
Without help, most alcoholics cannot permanently quit drinking. A combination of factors works to imprison the alcoholic within his addiction. In the early, adaptive stage, before social and psychological problems develop, neither the alcoholic nor those around him see any reason why he should stop drinking. As problems do begin to develop, the heavy drinking is generally seen as merely a symptom, and the alcoholic may be advised to get help with his "underlying problems." Later, when the heavy drinking itself is clearly contributing to his problems, he and others are more likely to conclude that he should cut down on his drinking, not that he should quit altogether.
Typically, only when the more blatant symptoms of alcoholism develop, does anyone suggest that the alcoholic outhg to stop drinking completely. By this time, the alcoholic's mental processes are firmly under the influence of the addiction, and his need to drink pushes aside all rational concerns about the harmful consequences of continuing to drink. He may come to realize that he should stop drinking, and under pressure, he may even go "on the wagon" for a while. But without a newperspective on the problem and a sustaining force powerful enough to override the addiction, all such periods of abstinence are temporary.* (*Comprehensive treatment and AA are the most powerful weapons against addiction, but alcoholics have been known to achieve permanent sobriety following a religious conversion or even more rarely after a particularly frightening incident such as a blackout or a near fatal accident.)
More often, the alcoholic will reject any idea that he should stop drinking. Dimly he may realize that his problems are connected with drinking, but the addiction blinds him to the fact that alcohol is causing those problems. Alcohol is his first aid and his medicine. It is the effective remedy for the psychological and physical pain that ails him, immediately relieving his anguish and tension, stopping his hands from shaking and his stomach from heaving, allowing him to think more clearly and act more normally, and particularly in the later stages of the disease, providing the only moments when he is released from suffering. When he stops drinking, the real trouble begins. The tension, frustrations, tremors, irritability, and nausea finally become so unbearable that he has to drink because alcohol is the quickest way to relieve the pain.
The alcoholic needs help, and he needs it as early in his disease as possible. The widely accepted belief that alcoholics have to "hit bottom" before they can be helped has been completely discredited in recent years. Waiting for the alcoholic to realize he needs treatment is simply a mistake, for left to his own devices, he is likely to become less willing to seek treatment, not more willing. If treatment is delayed until the alcoholic is so ravaged by his disease that his liver and brain are permanently damaged, his wife has given up on him, his employer has fired him, and hs is living on welfare, it may have been delayed too long.
The alcoholic who can stand on his feet, who still holds a job, and whose marriage is intact may insist that he does not have a problem and stubbornly refuse to get help. He may lie, steal, and cheat to protect his right to drink. But his deceptions and refusals are no indication that treatment will fail. No matter how fiercely the alcoholic fights those who want to help him stop drinking, he can be helped more often than not. Well over half of the alcoholics now being treated successfully were forced into treatment against their wills; they did not want to stop drinking, but certain crises in their lives backed them into a corner and forced them to seek help. For one alcoholic, the motivating force may have been his wife's threat to pack up and leave if he did not get help; another alcoholic may have finally agreed to enter treatment after getting drunk and smashing his car into a bridge abutment. Early- and midd-estage alcoholics have been pushed into treatment by spouses planning divorce, employers threatening loss of jobs, judges offering the choice of treatment or jail, landlords threatening eviction, and doctors warning of fatal consequences if drinking continues.
Getting the Alcoholic Into Treatment pg. 117-119
I doubt if any alcoholic ever wakes up, looks out the window, and says, "This would be a nice day to go for rehabilitation. I think I'll call the doctor." He may not see the gun, but some type of pressure - outside forces or his health - motivates him.
Thomas Fleming, M.D.
Without help, most alcoholics cannot permanently quit drinking. A combination of factors works to imprison the alcoholic within his addiction. In the early, adaptive stage, before social and psychological problems develop, neither the alcoholic nor those around him see any reason why he should stop drinking. As problems do begin to develop, the heavy drinking is generally seen as merely a symptom, and the alcoholic may be advised to get help with his "underlying problems." Later, when the heavy drinking itself is clearly contributing to his problems, he and others are more likely to conclude that he should cut down on his drinking, not that he should quit altogether.
Typically, only when the more blatant symptoms of alcoholism develop, does anyone suggest that the alcoholic outhg to stop drinking completely. By this time, the alcoholic's mental processes are firmly under the influence of the addiction, and his need to drink pushes aside all rational concerns about the harmful consequences of continuing to drink. He may come to realize that he should stop drinking, and under pressure, he may even go "on the wagon" for a while. But without a newperspective on the problem and a sustaining force powerful enough to override the addiction, all such periods of abstinence are temporary.* (*Comprehensive treatment and AA are the most powerful weapons against addiction, but alcoholics have been known to achieve permanent sobriety following a religious conversion or even more rarely after a particularly frightening incident such as a blackout or a near fatal accident.)
More often, the alcoholic will reject any idea that he should stop drinking. Dimly he may realize that his problems are connected with drinking, but the addiction blinds him to the fact that alcohol is causing those problems. Alcohol is his first aid and his medicine. It is the effective remedy for the psychological and physical pain that ails him, immediately relieving his anguish and tension, stopping his hands from shaking and his stomach from heaving, allowing him to think more clearly and act more normally, and particularly in the later stages of the disease, providing the only moments when he is released from suffering. When he stops drinking, the real trouble begins. The tension, frustrations, tremors, irritability, and nausea finally become so unbearable that he has to drink because alcohol is the quickest way to relieve the pain.
The alcoholic needs help, and he needs it as early in his disease as possible. The widely accepted belief that alcoholics have to "hit bottom" before they can be helped has been completely discredited in recent years. Waiting for the alcoholic to realize he needs treatment is simply a mistake, for left to his own devices, he is likely to become less willing to seek treatment, not more willing. If treatment is delayed until the alcoholic is so ravaged by his disease that his liver and brain are permanently damaged, his wife has given up on him, his employer has fired him, and hs is living on welfare, it may have been delayed too long.
The alcoholic who can stand on his feet, who still holds a job, and whose marriage is intact may insist that he does not have a problem and stubbornly refuse to get help. He may lie, steal, and cheat to protect his right to drink. But his deceptions and refusals are no indication that treatment will fail. No matter how fiercely the alcoholic fights those who want to help him stop drinking, he can be helped more often than not. Well over half of the alcoholics now being treated successfully were forced into treatment against their wills; they did not want to stop drinking, but certain crises in their lives backed them into a corner and forced them to seek help. For one alcoholic, the motivating force may have been his wife's threat to pack up and leave if he did not get help; another alcoholic may have finally agreed to enter treatment after getting drunk and smashing his car into a bridge abutment. Early- and midd-estage alcoholics have been pushed into treatment by spouses planning divorce, employers threatening loss of jobs, judges offering the choice of treatment or jail, landlords threatening eviction, and doctors warning of fatal consequences if drinking continues.
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Chapter 8
Guidelines for Helping pg. 119-123
Rather than waiting for such a crisis to occur, strategies have been developed in recent years to deliberately create a crisis and to use it to coerce the alcoholic into treatment. Anyone who hopes to help an alcoholic should follow five basic guidelines.
Learn About the Disease
Understand the nature of the chemical alcohol, how alcohol affects the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic in different ways, and why the alcoholic continues to drink when drinking is obviously harming him. Learn about the early-, middle-, and late-stage symptoms of the disease and how these symptoms change as the alcoholic continues to drink. Learn about the underlying physiological changes, including adaptation, tolerance, physical dependence, and the withdrawal syndrome, all of which have a profound effect on the alcoholic's behavior. Finally, learn why the alcoholic needs to drink, why he becomes irritable, frustrated and depressed when he is not drinking, and why his sincere promises to stop drinking are washed away like writing on sand.
Avoid Moral Judgment
The alcoholic is a sick person, not a bad person. He needs compassion and understanding, not anger and indifference. Moral judgment and condescending attitudes only make the alcoholic defensive and hostile and push him even further away from treatment.
Develop An Emotional Attachment
The person trying to help must understand that the alcoholic is both physically and psychologically sick and that his behavior is governed by his addiction. When drinking or between drunks, the alcoholic acts in bizarre and unpredictable ways. At one moment, he may be consumed with self-pity and sincere promises to change his ways; moments later, he may angrily deny that he has a drinking problem and become belligerent or indignant when anyone suggests that he does. Remember that the alcoholic believes what he has been taught - that alcoholism is a symptom of underlying psychological and social problems. He interprets the facts as evidence that his drinking is caused by events outside his control.
If the alcoholic's family or friends become emotionally embroiled in these excuses and denials or believe that they are somehow responsible for causing the alcoholic's unhappiness, the real problem - the physical addiction - will get sidetracked, and the psychological symptoms will be mistaken as the source of all the trouble. The helper must remember that his frist and most important priority is to get the alcoholic into treatment and off alcohol. Only after his body has a chance to recover from its long, poisonous alcohol bath can there be a return to psychological and emotional stability.
Pick a Specific Treatment Program
Not all treatment programs are the same, and some treatment programs are simply not effective in helping alcoholics recover. Those who are trying to help the alcoholic into treatment should understand the limitations of various treatment programs. Out-patient programs, for example, offer counseling services but have no in-patient medical facilities; most general hospitals provide brief in-patient detoxification but offer no real alcoholism treatment as such. A.A. is not really a treatment program, as it provides no detoxification facilities, medical support, or professional counseling services - but as a program for helping the alcoholic to maintain sobriety aftertreatment, A.A. is the best there is.
The early-, middle-, and late-stage alcoholic will have the best chance of recovering if he is treated in a comprehensive, disciplined program that includes the following:
* In-patient medical detoxification;
* A 4-week minimum of in-patient care;
* Educational rpograms which stress the physical basis of the disease and its role in causing psychological and social symptoms;
* Intensive nutritional therapy and education;
* Strong emphasis on A.A. for long-term sobriety;
* Thorough follow-up care;
* Involvement of the family in treatment and follow-up care.
If possible, the family, employer or friend should select an in-patient program that comes as close to these criteria as possible. Not every city has such a program, however, and if the only ready options are out-patient programs or A.A., they should by all means be tried. Just one warning, however: If the alcoholic returns to drinking, the family and friends should not give up, saying, "We tried treatment, and it didn't work." They should instead try to find a program that gives the alcoholic a better chance of recovery; and if that treatment fails, they should try again and again. While relapses are discouraging, they are not the end of the road. In fact, most alcoholics now sober have had at least one relapse on the way to lasting sobriety.
Finally, the alcoholic must not be allowed to pick his own treatment program because he will invariably select a program that provide the least interference with his drinking. An out-patient program that requires only an ahour a day with a counselor, or a weekly A.A. meeting, would be more to his liking than a 4-week minimum in-patient program which would completely cut off his access to alcohol. His primary reason for rejecting in-patient treatment will be denied and masked by the argument that he can't afford the program or that he can't take the necessary time off from work.
Get Help
A careful "confrontation strategy" must be worked out in advance. When Betty Ford's family sat her down and outlined why they thought she had a drinking problem, their words were carefully rehearsed. Under the guidance of a physician and nurse from a successful treatment program, the family members had prepared what they were going to say. Mrs. Ford's exucses, denials, anger, and tears were all expected, and the family knew how to use the confrontation to force her to a realization of her addiction.
Anyone who hopes to help an alcoholic into treatment will need help himself. The first step might be to look in the yellow pages under "Alcoholism Agencies" or "Alcoholism Treatment Programs." Talk to counselors and treatment staff, ask specific questions, and demand specific answers. "What do I do if he ignores me, becomes angry, or refuses to talk?" "How do I convince him that he needs treatment?" An excellent description of confrontationstrategies is contained in Vernon Johnson's book, "I'll Quit Tomorrow." The National Council on Alcoholism also publishes guidelines for confronting the alcoholic, as does the CompCare Corporation, one of the better private sources of information on alcoholism.
Attend some AA and Al-Anon meetings. AA has open meetings which anyone can attend; just call the A.A. number listed in the phone book and ask for specific times and meeting places. Al-Anon is an organization patterned after A.A. but specifically designed for the concerned nonalcoholic. Both A.A. and Al-Anon offer the family and friends of alcoholics the solace of knowing that they are not alone and that others have been through similar or worse ordeals.
Guidelines for Helping pg. 119-123
Rather than waiting for such a crisis to occur, strategies have been developed in recent years to deliberately create a crisis and to use it to coerce the alcoholic into treatment. Anyone who hopes to help an alcoholic should follow five basic guidelines.
Learn About the Disease
Understand the nature of the chemical alcohol, how alcohol affects the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic in different ways, and why the alcoholic continues to drink when drinking is obviously harming him. Learn about the early-, middle-, and late-stage symptoms of the disease and how these symptoms change as the alcoholic continues to drink. Learn about the underlying physiological changes, including adaptation, tolerance, physical dependence, and the withdrawal syndrome, all of which have a profound effect on the alcoholic's behavior. Finally, learn why the alcoholic needs to drink, why he becomes irritable, frustrated and depressed when he is not drinking, and why his sincere promises to stop drinking are washed away like writing on sand.
Avoid Moral Judgment
The alcoholic is a sick person, not a bad person. He needs compassion and understanding, not anger and indifference. Moral judgment and condescending attitudes only make the alcoholic defensive and hostile and push him even further away from treatment.
Develop An Emotional Attachment
The person trying to help must understand that the alcoholic is both physically and psychologically sick and that his behavior is governed by his addiction. When drinking or between drunks, the alcoholic acts in bizarre and unpredictable ways. At one moment, he may be consumed with self-pity and sincere promises to change his ways; moments later, he may angrily deny that he has a drinking problem and become belligerent or indignant when anyone suggests that he does. Remember that the alcoholic believes what he has been taught - that alcoholism is a symptom of underlying psychological and social problems. He interprets the facts as evidence that his drinking is caused by events outside his control.
If the alcoholic's family or friends become emotionally embroiled in these excuses and denials or believe that they are somehow responsible for causing the alcoholic's unhappiness, the real problem - the physical addiction - will get sidetracked, and the psychological symptoms will be mistaken as the source of all the trouble. The helper must remember that his frist and most important priority is to get the alcoholic into treatment and off alcohol. Only after his body has a chance to recover from its long, poisonous alcohol bath can there be a return to psychological and emotional stability.
Pick a Specific Treatment Program
Not all treatment programs are the same, and some treatment programs are simply not effective in helping alcoholics recover. Those who are trying to help the alcoholic into treatment should understand the limitations of various treatment programs. Out-patient programs, for example, offer counseling services but have no in-patient medical facilities; most general hospitals provide brief in-patient detoxification but offer no real alcoholism treatment as such. A.A. is not really a treatment program, as it provides no detoxification facilities, medical support, or professional counseling services - but as a program for helping the alcoholic to maintain sobriety aftertreatment, A.A. is the best there is.
The early-, middle-, and late-stage alcoholic will have the best chance of recovering if he is treated in a comprehensive, disciplined program that includes the following:
* In-patient medical detoxification;
* A 4-week minimum of in-patient care;
* Educational rpograms which stress the physical basis of the disease and its role in causing psychological and social symptoms;
* Intensive nutritional therapy and education;
* Strong emphasis on A.A. for long-term sobriety;
* Thorough follow-up care;
* Involvement of the family in treatment and follow-up care.
If possible, the family, employer or friend should select an in-patient program that comes as close to these criteria as possible. Not every city has such a program, however, and if the only ready options are out-patient programs or A.A., they should by all means be tried. Just one warning, however: If the alcoholic returns to drinking, the family and friends should not give up, saying, "We tried treatment, and it didn't work." They should instead try to find a program that gives the alcoholic a better chance of recovery; and if that treatment fails, they should try again and again. While relapses are discouraging, they are not the end of the road. In fact, most alcoholics now sober have had at least one relapse on the way to lasting sobriety.
Finally, the alcoholic must not be allowed to pick his own treatment program because he will invariably select a program that provide the least interference with his drinking. An out-patient program that requires only an ahour a day with a counselor, or a weekly A.A. meeting, would be more to his liking than a 4-week minimum in-patient program which would completely cut off his access to alcohol. His primary reason for rejecting in-patient treatment will be denied and masked by the argument that he can't afford the program or that he can't take the necessary time off from work.
Get Help
A careful "confrontation strategy" must be worked out in advance. When Betty Ford's family sat her down and outlined why they thought she had a drinking problem, their words were carefully rehearsed. Under the guidance of a physician and nurse from a successful treatment program, the family members had prepared what they were going to say. Mrs. Ford's exucses, denials, anger, and tears were all expected, and the family knew how to use the confrontation to force her to a realization of her addiction.
Anyone who hopes to help an alcoholic into treatment will need help himself. The first step might be to look in the yellow pages under "Alcoholism Agencies" or "Alcoholism Treatment Programs." Talk to counselors and treatment staff, ask specific questions, and demand specific answers. "What do I do if he ignores me, becomes angry, or refuses to talk?" "How do I convince him that he needs treatment?" An excellent description of confrontationstrategies is contained in Vernon Johnson's book, "I'll Quit Tomorrow." The National Council on Alcoholism also publishes guidelines for confronting the alcoholic, as does the CompCare Corporation, one of the better private sources of information on alcoholism.
Attend some AA and Al-Anon meetings. AA has open meetings which anyone can attend; just call the A.A. number listed in the phone book and ask for specific times and meeting places. Al-Anon is an organization patterned after A.A. but specifically designed for the concerned nonalcoholic. Both A.A. and Al-Anon offer the family and friends of alcoholics the solace of knowing that they are not alone and that others have been through similar or worse ordeals.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
Chapter 8
Who Can Help? Family pgs. 123-126
Of all the people who can help the alcoholic into treatment and support his recovery after treatment, the alcoholic's spouse and children may be the most effective. The family has first-hand experience with the alcoholic, they know how serious the drinking problem is and how far it has progressed, and they often have the emotional power to force the alcoholic into treatment.
The family's deep emotional involvement with the alcoholic can also be a burden, however. The family may be so desolated by the alcoholic's behavior that they are paralyzed with grief and guilt and unable to help. They may be so filled with shame that they hide the problem and refuse to discuss it with anyone. Or they may be so familiar with the alcoholic's suffering when he stops drinking that they are reluctant to ask him to stop.
In order to help the alcoholic, the family must learn as much as they can about this disease and understand that they are not responsible for the alcoholic's behavior. Nothing they have said or done has caused the alcoholic to act the way he does. The disease itself is responsible for the alcoholic's behavior and personality changes. By learning about the disease, the family can keep an emotional distance from the problems and understand why he acts the way he does and what they can do to help him.
The family must also understand that the alcoholic has to stop drinking or he will continually get worse. Waiting until he realizes the extent of his problem is waiting too long, for the family itself may be estroyed by their involvement and, without his family, the alcoholic is less apt to get help.
The family can let the alcoholic's physician know the extent of the problem and enlist his help in getting the alcoholic into treatment. The spouse can explain the facts of the disease to the children so that they understand their alcoholic parent's behavior and what must be done to make him well again. The family can also talk to friends and relatives, outline the problems at home, and make sure that they too understand the seriousness of the alcoholic's continued drinking.
A major problem at this point may be one of misguided loyalty. The family may feel disloyal when they reveal confidences or plot confrontations behind the alcoholic's back, and the alcoholic, of course, will cry "traitor" if he gets wind of his family's intrigues. But the family cannot rely on the alcoholic to help himself. They demonstrate their rue loyalty when they do everything in their power to help him get well.
When devising a strategy for confronting the alcoholic about his disease, the family should seek enlightened professional counsel. Specialized treatment staff, A.A. members, physicians, clergymen, and community alcoholism counselors may all be of help in choosing the best available treatment program and planning the confrontation.
Finally, having enlisted the help of the alcoholic's friends, relatives, and physician, armed with knowledge about the disease and how it can best be treated, and backed by professional advice and counsel, the family can squarely confront the drinking problem. Refusing to accept the alcoholic's denials and evasions, the family members can calmly and firmly tell him that he has a disease, he needs help, and help is available. The alcoholic must know that the family is not bluffing, and the family should therefore be prepared to follow through on any threats made.
This road is not an easy one. The alcoholic may deny his problem, throw tantrums, or weep with self-pity. There may be ugly quarrels and moments when hope and optimism are just too painful to hold on to. Friends and relatives who do not understand the disease may believe the family is overreacting. Encounters with unenlightened physicians, psychiatrists, and other professionals who insist that the alcoholic is psychologically or emotionally disturbed rather than suffering from a physiological addiction may be frustrating and confusing.
Once the alcoholic's spouse and children know the facts of the disease, however, they can do something about it; and doing something for the alcoholic is, however difficult, less painful than continuing to be involved in his slow death. Covering up, ignoring, or denying the disease is a sure way to prolong the agony. If the alcoholic keeps drinking, the disease cannot get better - it can only get worse.
___________
more later
Who Can Help? Family pgs. 123-126
Of all the people who can help the alcoholic into treatment and support his recovery after treatment, the alcoholic's spouse and children may be the most effective. The family has first-hand experience with the alcoholic, they know how serious the drinking problem is and how far it has progressed, and they often have the emotional power to force the alcoholic into treatment.
The family's deep emotional involvement with the alcoholic can also be a burden, however. The family may be so desolated by the alcoholic's behavior that they are paralyzed with grief and guilt and unable to help. They may be so filled with shame that they hide the problem and refuse to discuss it with anyone. Or they may be so familiar with the alcoholic's suffering when he stops drinking that they are reluctant to ask him to stop.
In order to help the alcoholic, the family must learn as much as they can about this disease and understand that they are not responsible for the alcoholic's behavior. Nothing they have said or done has caused the alcoholic to act the way he does. The disease itself is responsible for the alcoholic's behavior and personality changes. By learning about the disease, the family can keep an emotional distance from the problems and understand why he acts the way he does and what they can do to help him.
The family must also understand that the alcoholic has to stop drinking or he will continually get worse. Waiting until he realizes the extent of his problem is waiting too long, for the family itself may be estroyed by their involvement and, without his family, the alcoholic is less apt to get help.
The family can let the alcoholic's physician know the extent of the problem and enlist his help in getting the alcoholic into treatment. The spouse can explain the facts of the disease to the children so that they understand their alcoholic parent's behavior and what must be done to make him well again. The family can also talk to friends and relatives, outline the problems at home, and make sure that they too understand the seriousness of the alcoholic's continued drinking.
A major problem at this point may be one of misguided loyalty. The family may feel disloyal when they reveal confidences or plot confrontations behind the alcoholic's back, and the alcoholic, of course, will cry "traitor" if he gets wind of his family's intrigues. But the family cannot rely on the alcoholic to help himself. They demonstrate their rue loyalty when they do everything in their power to help him get well.
When devising a strategy for confronting the alcoholic about his disease, the family should seek enlightened professional counsel. Specialized treatment staff, A.A. members, physicians, clergymen, and community alcoholism counselors may all be of help in choosing the best available treatment program and planning the confrontation.
Finally, having enlisted the help of the alcoholic's friends, relatives, and physician, armed with knowledge about the disease and how it can best be treated, and backed by professional advice and counsel, the family can squarely confront the drinking problem. Refusing to accept the alcoholic's denials and evasions, the family members can calmly and firmly tell him that he has a disease, he needs help, and help is available. The alcoholic must know that the family is not bluffing, and the family should therefore be prepared to follow through on any threats made.
This road is not an easy one. The alcoholic may deny his problem, throw tantrums, or weep with self-pity. There may be ugly quarrels and moments when hope and optimism are just too painful to hold on to. Friends and relatives who do not understand the disease may believe the family is overreacting. Encounters with unenlightened physicians, psychiatrists, and other professionals who insist that the alcoholic is psychologically or emotionally disturbed rather than suffering from a physiological addiction may be frustrating and confusing.
Once the alcoholic's spouse and children know the facts of the disease, however, they can do something about it; and doing something for the alcoholic is, however difficult, less painful than continuing to be involved in his slow death. Covering up, ignoring, or denying the disease is a sure way to prolong the agony. If the alcoholic keeps drinking, the disease cannot get better - it can only get worse.
___________
more later
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Thanks CB....:
We also have a sticky post here
with info from "Under The Influence"
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
We also have a sticky post here
with info from "Under The Influence"
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
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