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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: London
Posts: 1
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Hello everyone, I found this forum while searching the net about alcohol and alcohol related illnesses. The thing is I'm concerned about the amount of alcohol I'm drinking and my reasons for drinking it.
If I'm completely honest I drink between 1 and 2 bottles of wine a day. I don't drink before 6pm, but I do drink on my own mostly and it's out of a combination of boredom and anxiety.
The anxiety part relates to an incident from my childhood. When I was 9 years old my father became involved with some...well..."bad people". He ended up owing them money and was not able to pay. One night five men arrived at our door, forced their way into our house, produced guns, tied us up, blindfolded us and held us at gunpoint for several hours while they ransacked our house and took my father away to threaten him.
The incident was never allowed to be discussed by my parents, and we were told not to tell anyone or to talk about it amoung ourselves. I was fine for several years, but at some point in my teens I started to get severe nightmares, anxiety and panic attacks. All symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder.
At some point I started to drink, as it seemed to help, at least for a few hours. I'm 33 years old now, and I still suffer from anxiety whenever I am in a place on my own at night. Since I live on my own in a 1 bedroom flat, this means I'm in this situation most nights. I've gotten to the stage where I really need a drink some days, to stop the anxiety going too far. I would say I drink every day now, but I have given up for periods in the past, and actually didn't find it very hard to give up. I did a four month period last year, and did a week recently just to detox a bit. Both of these times I was staying with other people.
My worry is that if I continue to live alone my drinking will get more out of control. I acknowledge that is is somewhat out of control already, as there are nights I really am desperate for a drink and can't seem to get my anxiety down without it. I've put on weight, my complexion isn't too healthy and I have a few gastric symptoms that are not too great.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum for my story. It may be that I should be looking for a PTSD forum. But I'd value any and all opinions.
If I'm completely honest I drink between 1 and 2 bottles of wine a day. I don't drink before 6pm, but I do drink on my own mostly and it's out of a combination of boredom and anxiety.
The anxiety part relates to an incident from my childhood. When I was 9 years old my father became involved with some...well..."bad people". He ended up owing them money and was not able to pay. One night five men arrived at our door, forced their way into our house, produced guns, tied us up, blindfolded us and held us at gunpoint for several hours while they ransacked our house and took my father away to threaten him.
The incident was never allowed to be discussed by my parents, and we were told not to tell anyone or to talk about it amoung ourselves. I was fine for several years, but at some point in my teens I started to get severe nightmares, anxiety and panic attacks. All symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder.
At some point I started to drink, as it seemed to help, at least for a few hours. I'm 33 years old now, and I still suffer from anxiety whenever I am in a place on my own at night. Since I live on my own in a 1 bedroom flat, this means I'm in this situation most nights. I've gotten to the stage where I really need a drink some days, to stop the anxiety going too far. I would say I drink every day now, but I have given up for periods in the past, and actually didn't find it very hard to give up. I did a four month period last year, and did a week recently just to detox a bit. Both of these times I was staying with other people.
My worry is that if I continue to live alone my drinking will get more out of control. I acknowledge that is is somewhat out of control already, as there are nights I really am desperate for a drink and can't seem to get my anxiety down without it. I've put on weight, my complexion isn't too healthy and I have a few gastric symptoms that are not too great.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum for my story. It may be that I should be looking for a PTSD forum. But I'd value any and all opinions.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: S.E. Mich.
Posts: 1,433
Welcome to SR Jason. Have you tried any counseling? Having those underlying issues, especially traumatic events like that, coupled with isolation and any kind of substance abuse problems, will cause it all to snowball and make things worse.
Feel free to keep posting here, and the PTSD Forum too if you're comfortable. You'll find your not alone.
Feel free to keep posting here, and the PTSD Forum too if you're comfortable. You'll find your not alone.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome to SR!
We do have a Forum you might want to check out
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/anxiety-disorders/
And if you want to quit drinking....you are correct
to be posting here too.
You may use both...but please...no duplications.
Glad you are here with us
We do have a Forum you might want to check out
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/anxiety-disorders/
And if you want to quit drinking....you are correct
to be posting here too.
You may use both...but please...no duplications.
Glad you are here with us
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Jasson, anxiety is a by product of drinking, anxiety leds to drinking and drinking leads to anxiety, it can and does become a vicous cycle, depression is deeply ingrained in the mix, drinking seems to releive depression but being a depressant drinking leads to depression.
I am an alcoholic and the cycles I mentioned were my life for years until I quit drinking. Here is a test you can take that could help you determine if alcoholism may be part of your problem http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/....cfm?PageID=71
You should really see a doctor to help you determine if you need help with PTSD from a therapist, help with alcoholism, or both.
I would say for now that you are in the right place. An awful lot of mental issues are tied directly or indirectly to alcoholism or the result of alcoholism.
I am an alcoholic and the cycles I mentioned were my life for years until I quit drinking. Here is a test you can take that could help you determine if alcoholism may be part of your problem http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/....cfm?PageID=71
You should really see a doctor to help you determine if you need help with PTSD from a therapist, help with alcoholism, or both.
I would say for now that you are in the right place. An awful lot of mental issues are tied directly or indirectly to alcoholism or the result of alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 63
hi jassonsw,
anxiety sucks, i know the feeling all too well. a colleague and dear friend of mine (he's welsh but try not to hold that against him) constantly reminds me to "unclench". i think what tazman said is so correct about the vicious circle between anxiety, depression, and drinking.
i'm so sorry you had to go through what you did as a child, and i hope that you can move on so that horrible experience from your childhood doesn't continue to hurt you.
i'm going to check out the link for anxiety disorders that carol posted as well, you're not alone!!! i've only been an active poster here for a few days but these seem to be a really great group of people.
anxiety sucks, i know the feeling all too well. a colleague and dear friend of mine (he's welsh but try not to hold that against him) constantly reminds me to "unclench". i think what tazman said is so correct about the vicious circle between anxiety, depression, and drinking.
i'm so sorry you had to go through what you did as a child, and i hope that you can move on so that horrible experience from your childhood doesn't continue to hurt you.
i'm going to check out the link for anxiety disorders that carol posted as well, you're not alone!!! i've only been an active poster here for a few days but these seem to be a really great group of people.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Welcome !
If you're an alcoholic, then that is why you drink. Period.
Taz is so right about the cycle. Anxiety, depression........
Stick around and read some posts, see if you can relate to anything.
If you're an alcoholic, then that is why you drink. Period.
Taz is so right about the cycle. Anxiety, depression........
Stick around and read some posts, see if you can relate to anything.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Hello Jassonsw and welcome,know there are plenty of people here to help with your problems.I drank alone a lot up until recently and know it's a vicious circle to break,is there something else you can think of to occupy your mind?
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