Sharing
No more merlot, more mamma
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Sharing
Ug. I shared tonight at my meeting and it was so difficult. Again, I get so nervous, want to start to cry. I have no idea how I will make it through a speakers meeting with me being the speaker!!!!!
I'm praying on it..wish I could just get over myself and do it! What the heck is the big deal??? I know these folks. Jeez.
I'm praying on it..wish I could just get over myself and do it! What the heck is the big deal??? I know these folks. Jeez.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: on to bigger & better things
Posts: 4,122
Nothing wrong with crying....my sponsor told me before I did my first speaker meeting....ask God to give you the words you need to say, to go before you and lead you. Try to remember too that there probably is someone out there that needs to hear exactly what you have to say!!!! Their life may depend on it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Hard for me too!
I didn't share unless my gut feeling came to me and then nothing stopped me. I felt nervous after sharing and my hands would be sweaty. 
It became easier as I felt more comfortable with the people around the table. There were a couple of people known to critisize what people shared so I passed when they were at a meeting.
kelsh
It became easier as I felt more comfortable with the people around the table. There were a couple of people known to critisize what people shared so I passed when they were at a meeting.
kelsh
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
maw maw, try not to think about it... ya, right!... really...
before you get up, take a deep breath, or a few... "do not hyper-ventilate" lol
as you mentioned, a prayer will help...
get up, share from the heart... as you feel right in the moment...
how ya got there, where you are now, and the hope of what you can be!
after, stck around the meets,and get some hugs!
all good wishes maw!
xxoo ya...
zip
I have no idea how I will make it through a speakers meeting with me being the speaker!!!!!
before you get up, take a deep breath, or a few... "do not hyper-ventilate" lol
as you mentioned, a prayer will help...
get up, share from the heart... as you feel right in the moment...
how ya got there, where you are now, and the hope of what you can be!
after, stck around the meets,and get some hugs!
all good wishes maw!
xxoo ya...
zip
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Karen I share from my heart, ESH, yes even an old redneck like me has shed a few tears and got choked up more then once, that is what sharing is about, sharing from our hearts is allowing our HP to work through us.
I learned the hard way how to speak at a meeting, the speaker had not shown up and the chair brought this up and said that John D (John Doe) was going to speak first and then Martin P. would finish up the hour!
I thought what the heck? I am Martin P.!!!! I looked over at my sponsor and he just winked!!! Well Several of the best speakers I have ever heard asked for a moment of silence while they prayed to be able to speak from the heart, I did the same, I am not sure exactly what I shared, but it must have been okay, I had several people said they got something from what I shared.
When the time comes just let it come from the heart, do not worry your HP will give you what to say.
I learned the hard way how to speak at a meeting, the speaker had not shown up and the chair brought this up and said that John D (John Doe) was going to speak first and then Martin P. would finish up the hour!
I thought what the heck? I am Martin P.!!!! I looked over at my sponsor and he just winked!!! Well Several of the best speakers I have ever heard asked for a moment of silence while they prayed to be able to speak from the heart, I did the same, I am not sure exactly what I shared, but it must have been okay, I had several people said they got something from what I shared.
When the time comes just let it come from the heart, do not worry your HP will give you what to say.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
karen,
recently I spoke at a big group and it brought up lots of uncomfortable feelings. For some reason I think this is helpful. I hated to look back at where I'd been, I hated to feel vulnerable before strangers etc.
But, it is strengthening in the long run for you as well as for the others in the room. By sharing honestly, you create a pathway for another human to do the same. Its part of the "We" aspect of this beautiful recovery program.
You'll be carried~~~
recently I spoke at a big group and it brought up lots of uncomfortable feelings. For some reason I think this is helpful. I hated to look back at where I'd been, I hated to feel vulnerable before strangers etc.
But, it is strengthening in the long run for you as well as for the others in the room. By sharing honestly, you create a pathway for another human to do the same. Its part of the "We" aspect of this beautiful recovery program.
You'll be carried~~~
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
I too tend to share very little at meetings, I find for me listening is a far better tool.
My sponser has been hinting about me speaking, which makes me uncomfortable on many levels. Being I am new to sobriety I tend to feel as if someone who has completed the program...meaning the 12 steps, and I use completed for a lack of a better word, is much more qualified to speak especially to newcomers.
My sponser has been hinting about me speaking, which makes me uncomfortable on many levels. Being I am new to sobriety I tend to feel as if someone who has completed the program...meaning the 12 steps, and I use completed for a lack of a better word, is much more qualified to speak especially to newcomers.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
My sponser has been hinting about me speaking, which makes me uncomfortable on many levels. Being I am new to sobriety I tend to feel as if someone who has completed the program...meaning the 12 steps, and I use completed for a lack of a better word, is much more qualified to speak especially to newcomers.
Folks with a only a few months sober I related to far better, the fog was still there and I was able to some how understand and believe what they were telling me.
I have heard old timers say that they still learn great stuff from folks who share with only a week sober.
If your heart is telling you to share something, share it!!! Why? Because if it is coming from your heart then it is coming from your HP and it is something someone in that room needs at that instant from you, that little thing that may not seem like much to you may very well be what keeps some one else sober or helps them get sober.
Listening is the best way I have found to hear what I need to hear because I am not learning anything when I am talking, but when my heart says to share I now know that it is my HP telling me that some one needs to hear what he wants me to share.
Many times sponsors will have a sponsee share more to learn something rather then to help others. In other words a sponsor may have a sponsee that will not open up in a meeting even when thier ass is on fire for a drink, one thing I have found is if I keep a problem I am not sure how best to handle stuffed inside of me and do not ask for help it starts to fester..... & then swell.... & well who knows!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I didn't share really for my first 6 months or so. And I still do so infrequently. I prefer to listen.
However, I do share, and when I do, I try and discuss where I was, what happened, and what it's like now.
That said, I'm not the best speaker, I can never communicate what's in my head. I prefer one on one, or a small informal group.
However, I do share, and when I do, I try and discuss where I was, what happened, and what it's like now.
That said, I'm not the best speaker, I can never communicate what's in my head. I prefer one on one, or a small informal group.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
About 4 years into the program I was asked to be a guest speaker more and more frequently. Worst thing that could have happened to me! I got WAY TOO POLISHED and proud of myself. Well, God has a way of reminding us of our place in this world. One night I gave such a bad speech that "I couldn't wait for me to finish!!"
After that I stopped being a "professional” speaker and in fact only speak every now and then I suspect that AA is the better for that!
My point being that a speech from the heart will always be much more valuable than one from the head. If you stammer, stutter, cry or even drool, it will be a grateful recovering alcoholic telling her/his story from a very personal and sincere perspective.
You will be great, just tell them how it was, what happened and how it is now. What else is there?
Good luck,
Jon
After that I stopped being a "professional” speaker and in fact only speak every now and then I suspect that AA is the better for that!
My point being that a speech from the heart will always be much more valuable than one from the head. If you stammer, stutter, cry or even drool, it will be a grateful recovering alcoholic telling her/his story from a very personal and sincere perspective.
You will be great, just tell them how it was, what happened and how it is now. What else is there?
Good luck,
Jon
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
If you stammer, stutter, cry or even drool, it will be a grateful recovering alcoholic telling her/his story from a very personal and sincere perspective.
No more merlot, more mamma
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
This is going to be a long couple weeks!
I cried with my sponsor today. I guess that helped..she told me to cry if I had too, whatever....just like you guys have said.
God, i feel like when I have to go to the dentist and am doing everything possible not to go!!! :-)
I cried with my sponsor today. I guess that helped..she told me to cry if I had too, whatever....just like you guys have said.
God, i feel like when I have to go to the dentist and am doing everything possible not to go!!! :-)
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